Madame Web

Posted on February 13, 2024 at 7:06 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	High School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for violence/action and language
Profanity:	Some strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Some social drinking
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended comic book/action style peril and violence, crashes, explosions, poison, guns, fire, some disturbing images
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters

When EMT Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson) introduces her colleague as Ben Parker (Adam Scott) as Ben Parker, your spidey sense better be tingling or this movie is going to be a slog. Not that this origin story of Marvel superhero Madame Web is just another Spider-Man variation. It’s way different. Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider, and Madame Web is bitten by a natural but imaginary with magic powers spider. Got it?

Cassie (short for Cassandra, which should tingle your spidey-sense, too) is a loner. Once she delivers a patient to the hospital, She cares very much for Ben Parker and for their boss, O’Neil (the always instantly-appealing Mike Epps) but she does not want to spend much time with anyone outside of work. Cassie’s mother died in Peru, where she was researching a rare species of spider with peptides that could have healing powers for humans, and Cassie, who grew up in foster care, has always felt abandoned, even rejected, by the mother who was so reckless in exploring the wilds of South America when she was eight months pregnant.

We know there is more to the story than that. We saw her mother (Kerry Bishe), betrayed by her assistant, Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), shoot her and steal the spider she has worked so hard to find. As she dies, a member of a spider-enhanced tribe thought by most people to be a legend appears, and he is able to deliver her baby before she dies.

Trailer

Cassie and Ben rescue a man from an overturned car hanging over the side of a bridge, but the car flips into the water with Cassie inside. Ben rescues her, but while under water her heart stopped, and the experience has triggered in her a power it will take a while for her to understand; she can see a few moments into the future, enough for her to make a difference and prevent disaster.

Meanwhile, Sims is having his own visions of the future, where he will be murdered by three young women with spidery superpowers. He is determined to prevent this by killing them, when they are still teenagers. He gets access to government databases and cameras and hires tech whiz and morally bankrupt Amaria (Zosia Mamet in a thankless role that consists of peering intently into screens and saying yes to Sims’ demands) to find the girls. She does get to wear elegant necklaces while she’s doing it, though.

Somehow, Cassie and the three girls, who do not know each other, end up on the same train and when Cassie sees visions of Sims killing them she gets them off the train and away from him. Keeping them away from him takes up most of the rest of the movie and unsurprisingly that means chases and explosions and at least two vehicles crashing through buildings. The girls are played by the exceptionally talented and sadly underused Isabela Merced, Sydney Sweeny, and Celeste O’Connor.

It’s not an awful movie but it is not very good. The origin story spends too much time on the origin, with Cassie getting used to her powers, which involves a detour to Peru that slows down the pacing. What we really want is more time with Cassie and the girls. If it’s going to be an origin story, let’s get their origins, too. There’s an irresponsibility and lack of even the most limited consequences to the mayhem that goes beyond the usual suspension of disbelief we grant a comic book movie. The dialogue is pedestrian, occasionally laughable, and the references to the Spider-Man universe or one of the Spider-Man universes are clumsy. And what should be the strongest part of any superhero movie, the villain, here is the weakest. Sims, who at times sounds like his dialogue has been dubbed by someone else, is just not that interesting. If you could see ahead like Madame Web, you might fix your future by waiting to see this on streaming.

Parents should know that this movie has extended comic book-style peril and violence with guns, poison, chases, crashes, fire, and explosions. Characters use some strong language and there are sexual references and situations as well as two scenes of childbirth or labor.

Family discussion: How did what Cassie learned about her mother change the way she thought about herself? What did Julia, Anya, and Mattie have in common? What superpower would you like to have?

If you like this, try: the “Spider-Man” movies and the Madame Web comics

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

Posted on December 21, 2023 at 2:12 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for language and sci-fi violence
Profanity:	Some strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Beer
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended comic-book style fantasy action, some disturbing images of characters getting burned and stabbed, zombie-like characters, monsters
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	December 22, 2023

I get the feeling everyone was just calling it in on this one. The DCCU is getting a makeover under James Gunn and Peter Safran and who knows what will happen given the prospect of the catastrophic leadership of David Zaslav burying his bad decisions and collecting a huge paycheck with a possible sale of Warner-Discovery to Paramount. And Jason Mamoa already made it clear this was his last Aquaman movie. Whether the behind-the-scenes is the reason for this lackluster, derivative entry in the DC Cinematic Universe or not, the movie is a wait-for-streaming for all but the most devoted fans.

In our last episode, Aquaman (Momoa) killed a pirate named Jesse Kane, and his son, David (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) vows to kill Aquaman in revenge. And Aquaman seizes control of the underwater kingdom from his half-brother Orm (Patrick Wilson). An extra scene in the credits has David Kane joining forces with marine scientist Stephen Shin (Randall Park), who promises to help David get his revenge if David will help him find the lost kingdom under the sea.

We pick up a few years later, where, in the first of a series of clangingly obvious foreshadowing signals, Arthur/Aquaman is now married to Mera (Amber Heard) and he tells us the most important thing in the world to him is their baby son, Junior. Aquaman divides his time between his home at the shore, with his human father, Tom (Temuera Morrison) helping to care for Junior, and his undersea kingdom. He is often frustrated with the bureaucracy of the kingdom’s council. And he is very concerned about the land countries destroying the environment, but, with his kingdom’s long history of secrecy, he cannot reach out to the upper world.

David has found the lost kingdom and the source of immense evil power in the black trident. A frozen spirit who looks like a cross between Groot and the Green Goblin says he will give that power to David if he will bring him the descendent of his enemy, which turns out to be guess who.

Actually, it’s guess whos, but that comes later. In order to fight David, Aquaman will have to team up with Orm, the half-brother who tried to kill him, and who is now in prison. The council will never approve, knowing that breaking Orm out of prison will start a war with his captors, but no matter, Aquaman does it anyway.

Much of the storyline is similar to “The Black Panther,” a kingdom with superior technology trying to decide whether to let the rest of the world know who they are and a villain seeking revenge with a conclusion for one character very reminiscent of Killmonger. And the mechanical octopus-like machine seems an awful lot like the one from “The Incredibles.” Topo, the real (CGI) octopus, is, fun, though, and I wish we’d seen more of him. The special effects range from okay to pretty good. Martin Short makes the best of a character who seems like a cross between Jabba the Hutt and a champion from RuPaul’s drag race.

It swings back and forth between meaningless nods to the issue of climate change (the most damaging technology is imaginary), action scenes with lots of monsters and machines, cliche dialog (“It’s time for me to reclaim my destiny!”), and corny winks at the audience. Here’s hoping the Gunn/Safran regime can do better.

NOTE: Stay for one mid-credits scene

Parents should know that this film has some strong language and constant comic book-style action with some grisly images of monsters. Characters are in peril and there are graphic wounds.

Family discussion: What influenced the relationship between Arthur and Orm? How would we think of environmental threats differently if we thought humanoid creatures lived there? Why did Aquaman try to save David?

If you like this, try: the other DC comics films and the comic books, especially the Neal Adams versions

Blue Beetle

Posted on August 17, 2023 at 11:17 am

B +

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for sequences of action and violence, language, and some suggestive references
Profanity:	Some schoolyard language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Some alcohol
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended comic-book-style action peril and violence, guns, knives, fire, explosions, torture, characters injured and killed, two very sad deaths of parents
Diversity Issues:	A theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters:	August 18, 2023

Yes, a cool, bulletproof super-suit that can fly you to space and manifest any weapon you can think of is great, but “Blue Beetle” makes it clear that the real super-powers here are a devoted family and a culture of resilience and make-do. Jaime Reyes, played by the very charismatic Xolo Maridueña (“Cobra Kai”) is the fourth version of this character, originally from Charleton Comics, later DC. And he is the first to be a character of color, in this version, from a financially struggling but devoted and optimistic Mexican-American family. They include his mother, Roicio (Elpidia Carrillo), his father Alberto (Damián Alcázar of “Narcos”), his sister Milagro (Belissa Escobedo), his grandmother Nana (Adriana Barraza), and his uncle Rudy (George Lopez).

That whole family is at the airport to meet Jaime when he returns home, the first member of his family to be a college graduate. He is very happy to see them, but dismayed to learn what they have been keeping from him. Alberto is recovering from a heart attack. And the family is about to lose their home because they cannot pay the rent. Jaime is determined to do whatever he can to take care of them. He is fired from his first job as a pool boy because he stood up for Jenny Kord (Bruna Marquezine) when she was being bullied by her aunt, the formidable Victoria Kord (Susan Sarandon), the head of the huge conglomerate, Kord Industries. Jenny was objecting to her aunt’s plan to create an army of cyborg super-soldiers. She did not want to be in the weapons business.

Jenny thanks Jaime and says she will find him a job at Kord Industries. His whole family drives him to the headquarters to cheer him on. But when Jaime sees Jenny, she is again in distress. She hands him a fast food box and tells him to help her hide it, and not to look inside. He brings it home, the box gets opened, and the blue scarab inside attaches itself to Jaime and then enters his body, turning him into a cyborg superhero. The super-suit is fully integrated into his system, but it also operates kind of like Tony Stark’s Iron Man contraption. It has its own consciousness. It talks to him.

So, off to some superhero stuff, including that classic, the villain’s secluded island with the secret lab. But along the way there are some funny and warm-hearted family moments that make this as much about them as it is about the gadgets and stunts. Unlike other comic book heroes like Batman, Superman, Shazam, the X-Men, and Spider-Man, Jaime’s background and motives are not rooted in tragedy, grief, and trauma. This gives the story a buoyancy and humor, even when there is a terrible loss. His uncle Rudy is goofy, but he also demonstrates the ingenuity and persistence that poor and marginalized people need to survive. “We’re invisible to ,” a character says. “It’s our superpower.” Jaime’s family is strong and loving, and have some unexpected skills. They respond to devastating loss by compartmentalizing, as we can see they have done before: do what needs to be done, then grieve, then start to rebuild.

Even by comic book standards, some of the violence is too much. Jaime begins by insisting he will not kill anyone. The shift to cheering when people — even a bad guy’s henchmen — are blown away is abrupt, even at one moment played for comedy. The film’s weakest link is its villain. Susan Sarandon does her best to show Victoria’s ability to switch from cooing manipulation to single-minded, dictatorial EVIL BAD GUY stuff “in a Cruella Kardashian kind of way,” like racist mis-naming a lab worker. Unfortunately, her dialogue (“harness the power of legions!!!” “Finally the power of the scarab will be ours!”) falls more into over-the-top but pronouncements that still manage to be dull.

But that makes the non-Victoria parts of the film even more engaging by contrast, and they more than make up for the thin characterization of the villain with the heartwarming portrayal of the family, initially comic but ultimately exemplars of courage and loyalty that give the film its heart.

Parents should know that this is a superhero movie with extended peril and violence including knives, guns, fire, and explosions. Characters are injured and killed and there are two very sad deaths of parents. Some characters begin the film as anti-weapon and anti-killing but switch into pro-weapon and at least not as anti-killing very quickly. Characters use some schoolyard language (s-word, a-word), there is non-sexual, non-explicit nudity, and there are references to private parts and how they operate.

Family discussion: How did Jaime’s family and culture affect his decisions? Which member of his family was your favorite and why?

If you like this, try: “The Flash” and the Christopher Reeves “Superman” movies and some of the other work from these actors including “Cobra Kai”

The Flash

Posted on June 15, 2023 at 5:16 pm

B +

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and action, some strong language and partial nudity
Profanity:	Some strong language, several s-words, one f-word
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended comic-book action peril and violence, injuries and sad deaths
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	June 15, 2023

“The Flash” is centered in the sweet spot between action, comedy, and heart because is is grounded in a deep affection for the source material but is not afraid to play with some of its absurdities. I’m going to tread very carefully to avoid spoilers (and alert you to what I hope will be just two of the jokes in this review), but if you want to go into the film knowing nothing, including what is in the trailer, come back and read this after you’ve seen it.

Ezra Miller shows no signs of the instability that has led to troubling behavior and disturbing headlines in his excellent performance as not one but two Barry Allens. The storyline allows for something of an origin story without the too-often superhero film mistake of making it all about the adjustment to the use and purpose of superpowers and attendant vulnerabilities. We first see Barry Allen (Flash’s secret identity) trying to get a high-protein sandwich at a cafe counter. He is, unsurprisingly, in a hurry because first, he is running late, and two, as a result of the energy he burns in his super-fastness requires a lot of food for fuel. It’s not quite like Popeye and spinach, but it’s not not like it, either.

Barry is awkward and shy. He works as a forensic scientist, looking at evidence from crime scenes. And he is hoping to exonerate his father, Henry (Ron Livingston), who is in prison for murdering his wife, Barry’s mother, when Barry was a child. Barry knows his father is innocent, and is hoping that his friend Bruce (Batman) Wayne (Ben Affleck) can help him with a crucial piece of evidence, security camera footage from a grocery store that would substantiate Henry’s alibi. But the enhanced clarity of the tape, shot from above, does not show Henry’s face, only his baseball cap. Barry, devastated, goes for such an intensive run that he passes the speed of light and goes back in time. If he can do that, he reasons, maybe he can go back further and prevent his mother’s murder. Bruce Wayne warns him it is a big mistake. Butterfly effect, etc. He, of course, knows very well what it is like to have your entire live defined by a devastating childhood loss.

Barry cannot resist. And that is when things start to scramble. First, one very small choice somehow had a lot of major repercussions, some strangely random. Somehow, instead of Michael J. Fox coming in to replace him, the original star of “Back to the Future,” Eric Stoltz, stayed in the role. The people he knows from his timeline are either not there or very different. And second, Barry misjudged and instead of returning to the present, he finds himself 10 years ago, which means, yes, that his teen-age self is there, too. The interaction between the two Barrys (both played by Miller), one formed by the murder of his mother and wrongful conviction of his father and one who grew up in a home with intact, loving parents, is at the heart of the film. In fact, the villain (Michael Shannon as Kryptonian bad guy General Zod) is almost an afterthought in this film, relying on our remembering him and his whole deal from previous encounters.

Instead, the movie is more about Barry, both Barrys, their interaction and their growing understanding of their situation and, if it can be put this way, each other. From a small, witty hiccup in the presentation of the movie’s title to the throwaway lines about other anomalies in the pile of spaghetti that is what happens when you splinter linear time, to some funny cameos (Wonder Woman’s lasso of truth provides one of the film’s best moments), the film is more interested in concept and character than mayhem.

That’s a good thing as the mayhem is more serviceable than memorable. This is a movie that is more about the people than the powers, and that is a superpower worth having.

Parents should know that this film includes brief non-sexual male nudity (bare tush), some strong language (s-words and one f-word), and extended comic book-style peril and action violence, with injuries and some sad deaths.

Family discussion: What one small decision have you made that had a surprisingly big impact on your life? If you could go back in time ten years, what advice would you give yourself?

If you like this, try; Other time-warp movies like “Back to the Future” with Michael J. Fox and “Frequency” as well as other DC Comics movies

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 3

Posted on May 3, 2023 at 11:56 am

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for some language.
Profanity:	Strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Alcohol, drunkenness
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended sci-fi/action/comic book-style peril and violence
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	May 5, 2023
Date Released to DVD:	July 31, 2023

I guess it makes sense. Not the movie. Not even close. But the form = content notion that “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3,” the third in the series, is, like its characters a mess but a lovable and entertaining mess. By now it feels like it’s our mess. So, even though I couldn’t help imagining what Honest Trailers and Pitch Meeting are going to have so say about the very convoluted to the point of you’ve-got-to-be-kidding last 40 minutes or so and it’s well over two hours run time, I enjoyed it.

We already know something about the history of some of the characters. Peter Quill/Star Lord (Chris Pratt) had an earth mother and an alien father and was taken from earth at age 8 by an intergalactic group of rogues and thieves called The Ravagers. Gamora (Zoe Saldana) and Nebula (Karen Gillan) were stolen from their families when their planets were annihilated by Thanos and then tortured and mutilated to turn them into assassins. But we don’t know much about Rocket (Bradley Cooper) and the tree-guy voiced by Vin Diesel.

In this chapter, we go back to Rocket’s origin story. Like Thanos’ adopted daughters and Wolverine and I’m sure lots of other fictional characters, he was operated on by a megalomaniacal villain trying to “perfect” the world. He is The High Evolutionary, played by Chukwudi Iwuji. He has already created worlds and destroyed them for not living up to his exacting standards of perfection. One of his worlds we saw briefly in the last GothG movie, with Elizabeth Debicki as Ayesha, leader of a world of spectacularly beautiful golden-hued creatures. In this film, he threatens to destroy that world unless Ayesha’s son, Warlock (Will Poulter), brings him Rocket. While the High Evolutionary is obsessed with the “improvements” he inflicts, somehow Rocket has gifts of intellect that the High Evolutionary did not create for him and he wants to understand and either copy that or destroy it.

The High Evolutionary’s experiments on Rocket and other animals were mechanical, replacing body parts with metal, so that they look Like the mutilated toys in Syd’s room in the first “Toy Story.” But it is in the adjoining cages that he finds his first family, led by the warm-hearted otter named Lylla. Rocket, using that exceptional capacity for engineering we have observed in the earlier films, manages to escape (including piloting a ship even though he has never even seen one before, much less been exposed to outer space or really anything outside of his prison).

This time, then, the Guardians are not saving the galaxy. At the beginning of the film they seem happily settled in Knowwhere with Cosmo the Soviet wonder dog, Mantis, the anntena-ed empath (Pom Klementieff), and former Ravager Kraglin (Sean Gunn). They have opened a bar. But the one doing all the drinking is Peter, who is still trying to drown his grief over the loss of Gamora. Nothing can get him to stop until Rocket is attacked. He is gravely injured and in order to save him the Guardians will need to retrieve a code to unlock a mechanism that prevents the necessary surgery and just 48 hours to do it. The Ravagers also get involved, and they now include a different version of Gamora brought back from the past who has no memory of her relationship with Peter.

There’s a hint of “Mission Impossible.” They’re even told that if they are caught, they will not be acknowledged as acting on behalf of the ruling body. And there’s a Zune vintage music player retrieved at the end of Vol 2 to follow the mix-tapes from the first two movies with some new songs for the soundtrack.

As noted, it does get messy. The group of misfit toys go off in different directions and it is hard to keep track of who is doing what where. A increasing problem with the Marvel movies is the way they keep using the stakes The High Evolutionary and Warlock have powers of near god-like magnitude. What can the Guardians do? It gets muddled. The High Evolutionary can do just about anything including creating and destroying worlds, but somehow cannot fight back from an attack with claws. There is a significant element to the story about the essential value of living beings who might not be considered “higher” life forms….until that is undermined later on. I said it was messy. As Peter said in the first one, “Something good, something bad? Bit of both.”

NOTE: Stay through the credits for two extra scenes

Parents should know that this film has extended peril and comic book/action-style violence with sometimes graphic and disturbing images. Characters are injured and killed. The film includes strong language, drinking and drunkenness.

Family discussion: Why is having a name so important? What does the name High Evolutionary mean and what does he think it means to be “perfect?” Why was the distinction about “higher forms” significant?

If you like this, try: the other “Guardians” movies