Stormbreaker

Posted on October 11, 2006 at 12:38 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	4th - 6th Grades
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for sequences of action violence and some peril.
Profanity:	Some crude language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	A lot of action violence including guns, characters killed
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	2006
Date Released to DVD:	2007
Amazon.com ASIN:	B000JBWWPQ

I never thought I’d miss Cody Banks. But the dull and lifeless Alex Rider brought back surprisingly fond thoughts of the better-than mediocre Agent Cody Banks and the terrific first two Spy Kids. Even the lousy third one was better than this dreary, too-violent, talent-wasting mess, based on the successful series of James Bond-for-kids books. It’s too violent for younger kids and too dull for older kids.

Alex Pettyfer plays Alex Rider, an English orphan who lives with his never-there uncle (brief appearance by a dashing Ewan McGregor) and a daffy but devoted American housekeeper/nanny (Alicia Silverstone) with a penchant for exotic cuisine. When his uncle is killed in the line of duty, Alex discovers that he was a spy. And all his uncle taught him about languages, martial arts, and extreme sports was his way of training him to be one as well. Sophie Okonedo and Bill Nighy are the spy chiefs who recruit Alex to pretend to be the winner of a computer competition, so he can find out what bad guy Boris, I mean Darius (Mickey Rourke) and his henchwoman Natasha, I mean Nadia (Missy Pyle) are up to.

There’s a lot of chasing around and some cool stunts, but it has a flat, draggy feel to it, some creepy moments of oddly insensitive interactions, and no sense of genuine enthusiasm or adventure.

Parents should know that this movie has a great deal of action-style violence. This means that there is no blood, but it is still disturbing; characters are killed and Alex uses guns.

Families who see this movie should talk about what qualities and education are required to be a spy.

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy the much better Agent Cody Banks and Spy Kids.

Open Season

Posted on September 18, 2006 at 3:00 pm

B+

Lowest Recommended Age:	Kindergarten - 3rd Grade
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for some rude humor, mild action and brief language.
Profanity:	Some schoolyard language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Comic peril and violence, tranquilizer gun, hunters are the bad guys, no one badly hurt
Diversity Issues:	A metaphorical theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters:	2006
Date Released to DVD:	2007
Amazon.com ASIN:	B000L22SG6

I love CGI. I love the textures, the way every single hair and feather, every leaf and raindrop, every shiny, fuzzy, smooth, rough, soft, hard surface is perfectly perfect. But I realized, as I watched this movie, that one of the things I’ve missed in CGI is the elasticity and bounce, the freedom of hand-drawn cartoons. One of the great pleasures of this movie is the way it takes the physical properties of the real world as a starting point for a wildly hilarious and fantastically silly extravaganza.

The themes are nothing new, but they are executed with so much wit and brio that they feel close to classic. We have the incompatible duo on a journey who learn to trust and respect each other. We have the search for the meaning of home, and we have the great metaphor for growing up — going out into the wild world and becoming independent.

Boog (voice of Martin Lawrence) is a bear who has it made. He lives in a garage and tender-hearted park ranger Beth (voice of Deborah Messing) makes sure he has food, “Wheel of Fortune,” his snuggly stuffed toy and soft bed. She even sings him Teddy Bears’ Picnic every night as a lullabye. It is perfect.

Then a one-antlered mule deer named Elliot (voice of Ashton Kutcher) shows up and ruins everything. He is captured before hunting season by an animal-hater named Shaw (voice of Gary Sinese), who plays air guitar on his rifle and has a cabin filled with trophies. Boog frees Elliot, and then Elliot gets Boog in trouble so that Beth takes him deep into the woods just as open season for hunters is about to begin. Boog needs to get home, and much as he hates the idea, he needs Elliot to help him get there.

And so the two embark on a journey that will bring them many adventures, introduce them to some (literally) wild characters, and give them a great deal of knowledge about themselves and the world. Fortunately, it is also very funny. Especially the porcupine. Lawrence’s low, grumbly voice is perfect for Boog and well balanced by Kutcher’s goofy energy. Billy Connelly brings Scots asperity to his Braveheart-style squirrel, and Patrick Warburton (“Seinfeld’s” Puddy) is all manly, well, stag-ly posturing as the head of the herd. The visual and verbal gags keep things moving briskly, and the characters keep our interest and earn our affection.

Parents should know that this movie has some crude schoolyard language and humor (references to “nuts,” barfing, “the f-word” — fight, tush jokes). The theme of animals being hunted may be disturbing to some audiences; other audience members may not like the portrayal of hunters as mean and not very smart.

Families who see this movie should talk about why Beth was proud of Boog. What makes a home?

Families who enjoy this film will also enjoy Over the Hedge and the classic Yogi Bear cartoons.

Everyone’s Hero

Posted on September 11, 2006 at 11:20 am

A+

Lowest Recommended Age:	Preschool
MPAA Rating:	Rated G
Profanity:	Mild schoolyard language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Peril, but no one hurt
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters, understated portrayal of segregation
Date Released to Theaters:	January 1, 1970
Date Released to DVD:	January 1, 1970
Amazon.com ASIN:	B000MNOX9E

The indomitable spirit of Christopher Reeve shines through this little story of a boy who will not give up his quest to retrieve the baseball bat belonging to the greatest player ever, Babe Ruth.

Ten-year-old Yankee Irving (that’s his name) loves baseball, but when he stands at the plate, the kids in the outfield jeer, “Easy out!”

He loves the game and dreams of playing in the major leagues. But he is ready to give up trying to play when he finds a talking baseball (voice of Rob Reiner) in the sandlot. He brings it home and then takes it with him to bring dinner to his father, who works at Yankee Stadium. While he is there, Babe Ruth’s bat Darlin’ is stolen by a pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. But Yankee Irving’s father is blamed, and he is fired. Yankee and his talking baseball go out to bring it back home.

They have many adventures and encounters along the way, most notably with a young girl who teaches him to throw a ball. When he tells her he needs to get to Chicago to give the bat to the Babe, she sends him to her baseball player father so he can travel on the team bus, where he gets some lessons about balance and hitting a ball. He finally makes it to Chicago, where he gets a chance to make his grandest dreams come true.

The animation is uninspired, except for a couple of lively moments, most notably a chase scene when Lefty the cheating Cubs pitcher has to dodge a barrage of hazards. And the voice talent adds some warmth and character, especially Whoopi Goldberg as Darlin’ the bat, William H. Macy as Lefty, and the world’s most instantly recognizable “surprise guest star” as the choleric head of the Cubs. The late Dana Reeves is quietly lovely as the voice of Yankee’s mother, and the poignance of her loss as well as her husband’s adds to the movie’s theme of never giving up on dreams.

Parents should know that this movie has some mild schoolyard language and potty jokes. The issue of the segregated Negro League is handled in a respectful, understated way, but parents should be prepared to talk with children about why whites and blacks played on different teams.

Families who see this movie should talk about who in the movie is everyone’s hero? Why? What does it mean that “it’s not the bat, but the batter” and “just keep swinging?” Have you ever had something that made you feel lucky? Why were the bullies so mean to Yankee at the beginning of the movie? What will they be like when he gets home? Families with very young children will want to remind them that in real life children are not allowed to go off without their parents.

Families who enjoy this movie will enjoy Chicken Little and some of the many wonderful films about baseball, especially It Happens Every Spring (a professor becomes an unbeatable pitcher when he invents a chemical to put on the ball that repells wood), Angels in the Outfield (the original is the best version but the remake is pretty good, too), Take Me Out to the Ballgame (with Gene Kelly as a dancing ball-player), Damn Yankees (a Washington Senators fan sells his soul to the devil to beat the Yankees), Rookie of the Year, The Sandlot, and The Rookie. Older audiences should watch Ken Burns’ 9-part series Baseball. They might also like to visit the Babe Ruth Museum in Baltimore and the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY.

How To Eat Fried Worms

Posted on August 20, 2006 at 4:00 pm

B+

Lowest Recommended Age:	Kindergarten - 3rd Grade
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for mild bullying and some crude humor.
Profanity:	None
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Funny but gross-out worm-eating humor
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	2006
Date Released to DVD:	2006
Amazon.com ASIN:	B000J10FLY

This is a delightfully snips and snails and puppy-dog tails-style movie, with kids who look and act refreshingly like real kids. It’s based on the book by Thomas Rockwell that has delighted and happily grossed out kids since 1973.

A cute credit-sequence cartoon introduces us to Billy (Luke Benward), who has a sensitive stomach, and his little brother Woody, who happily eats everything. They’ve just moved to a new town. Woody has quickly become the toast of the pre-school with his rendition of “Baby Beluga” but finding his way in 5th grade is trickier for Billy.

The kids are not friendly, except for one very tall girl who always seems to be one step ahead and one semi-outcast who warns him that Joe (Adam Hicks), the school bully, has a special ring — if he punches you, you die, but not until 8th grade so he can’t get blamed.

When Joe taunts him, Billy rashly boasts that he can eat 10 fried worms in one day, with the bully selecting the worms to be eaten and the, um, recipes to be used. Joe and his minions do everything they can to win the bet, cooking the worms with the most disgusting ingredients they can think of, from marshmallow to hot peppers. To make things worse, Billy has to take care of his little brother and keep his parents from finding out what is going on.

Kids will enjoy the extravagently and hilariously repulsive items presented to Billy and the spirit and determination he demonstrates in taking them on (and in). The kids in the movie look, talk, and act like real kids, not glamourized sit-com fast-food-commercial Hollywood types. They have a natural but endearing approach to negotiating rules, evaluating their options, and interactiing with each other and the adults. “Ed’s” Thomas Cavanagh and Father of the Bride’s Kimberly Williams-Paisley are sympathetic as Billy’s parents but they don’t try to solve his problems for him. Billy learns the expected lessons, and the ultimate resolution is sweet and very funny.

Parents should know that the concoctions Billy eats are extremely disgusting and may be disturbing to sensitive audience members. Note, though, as the credits make clear, no worms were harmed in the making of the movie. And no children were, either. The kids use some kid-like crude language, in particular a reference to a particular body part.

Families who see this movie should talk about why bullys think it will make them feel strong and important to insult other people and tell them what to do. Why do some of the kids change sides during the course of the bet? What’s the most disgusting thing you ever ate? Why does Billy’s father say he had to eat worms? How are their experiences alike?

Families who enjoy this movie will want to read the book. Author Thomas Rockwell is the son of illustrator Norman Rockwell, whose pictures showed the same appreciation of real kids. Every family should take a look at Rockwell illustrations like “A Day in the Life of a Boy” and “A Day in the Life of a Girl.” Families who enjoy this film will also enjoy Because of Winn-Dixie (also featuring Benward), The Sandlot, My Dog Skip, The Best Christmas Pagent Ever, A Christmas Story, and Pollyanna. Families will also enjoy Bill Harley’s hilarious Dinosaurs Never Say Please and his other CDs for families and My Bodyguard, about a middle school boy’s response to a bully.

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Material Girls

Posted on August 19, 2006 at 4:08 pm

F+

Lowest Recommended Age:	4th - 6th Grades
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for language and rude humor.
Profanity:	Some strong language for a PG, including the s-word
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Some social drinking, characters smoke
Violence/ Scariness:	Mild peril, references to sad offscreen death and divorce
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	2006
Date Released to DVD:	2006
Amazon.com ASIN:	B000JFY05W

The problem with a movie about rich people learning about real life that is written by rich people who have no idea about real life is that you end up with something like this — a movie about two rich girls, heirs to a cosmetics fortune, who lose everything, discover what really matters, and end up demonstrating that by making the cosmetics affordable so that prostitutes can buy them.

I’m not kidding. I wish I was.

Real-life sisters Hillary (Lizzie Maguire) and Haylie (Napoleon Dynamite) Duff play Tanzy and Ava Marchetta, whose late father founded a successful cosmetics company. They are due to inherit when they come of age, but his best friend, the current CEO (Brent Spiner) recommends that they sell the company to its rival, run by Fabiella (Anjelica Huston). Before they can agree, a news report that one of the products caused severe skin damage throws the company into chaos. And the girls accidentally burn down their house and turn over their car to someone they assume is a valet but who turns out to be a thief.

They have nowhere to go but the apartment of Inez (Maria Conchita Alonso), their maid.

Ava’s TV star boyfriend dumps her — through his agent. Their fancy party friends don’t want to know them any more. Fabiella makes another offer, much lower. If they sell, the company their father built will no longer exist.

Yes, of course it all turns out fine and there’s a happily ever after ending complete with cute new boyfriends. But on the way there, the movie has a surprising number of bad choices ranging from the odd to the unfortunate, inappropriate, and downright ugly, considering the target audience and the PG rating.

For example, inspired by watching Erin Brocovich, Tanzy uses a skimpy outfit to entice a young man to let her look at some hidden records. She is arrested and put into a cell with three prostitutes who stroke her arm in a menacing fashion — then she turns it all around, using sand caught between the toes of one as she ran from the cops, to by teach them how to exfoliate their skin.

The girls also use some strong language for a PG movie. What is the purpose in a movie like this of a line like “screwier than Courtney Love?” Or “I’m so sorry I slept with your dad?” There is disturbing footage of skin disorders. Most important, the very values the movie purports to communicate are undermined by the approval it expects for its characters’ choices. The great revelations the girls have about the importance of helping the poor are supposed to be shown by their commitment to cheaper cosmetics and arranging for a friend’s children to be allowed into the country.

Superb actors like Anjelica Houston, Obba Babatunde, and Lukas Haas (Witness) are criminally wasted and only make the Duff sisters’ very limited acting skills look even weaker by comparison.

Parents should know that this movie has, as noted, very strong language and references for a PG, including the s-word, a reference to “white trash” (supposed to be funny), jokes about using Preparation H to get rid of eye bags (especially idiotic given that the girls are supposed to know all about cosmetics), “you practically jump each other,” “I heard that on the bus people pee on the seats,” “he was going to go straight for us,” and more. Character (briefly) drink and smoke (though one expresses horror at cigarettes). Characters are prostitutes. Tanzy wears skimpy clothes to get a young man to let her get what she wants. There is a reference to an overdose of birth control pills. A character has a nose job so she can look like Tanzy. Overall, even the supposedly reformed behavior of the girls is not what parents would like their children to imitate.

Families who see this movie should talk about why the girls were so spoiled and inconsiderate. Why does Tanzy say she wished her father had been harder on her? Why does Ava say she didn’t like how hard their father was on her?

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy Lizzie Maguire and the much better film Cow Belles.