Hotel Transylvania

Posted on September 27, 2012 at 6:00 pm

B
Lowest Recommended Age: 4th - 6th Grades
MPAA Rating: Rated PG for some rude humor, action, and scary images
Profanity: Some schoolyard language
Alcohol/ Drugs: None
Violence/ Scariness: Funny-scary monsters
Diversity Issues: A theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters: September 28, 2012
Amazon.com ASIN: B0034G4OYA

What scared me most about “Hotel Transylvania” was the prospect of another film starring Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg.  Their last collaboration was “That’s My Boy,” by far the most excruciatingly painful experience I’ve had at a theater this year. Thankfully, just providing voices for this PG animated horror comedy written by five other people, Sandler and Samberg are charming.  It is a sweet, funny story about monsters who want to enjoy a peaceful life far from humans and the human who finds them anyway.

Sandler plays Count Dracula, a doting if over-protective vampire father who builds the hotel as a refuge so he and his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez) can be safe from scary people with their pitchforks and torches.   Dracula croons a tender lullaby: “Hush little baby, don’t say a word, papa’s going to bite the head off a bird.”  Next to the changing table is a coffin-shaped diaper pail.

Mavis gets a little older, with cute little baby tooth fangs, and her caped father makes sure she’s wearing a helmet before he teaches her how to transform into a bat and fly.  The hotel is a castle surrounded by a haunted forest and a graveyard populated by the undead. “Human-free since 1898,” the hotel proudly proclaims.  And so things stay for over a century.

This Dracula has no need for human blood (“it’s so fatty and you don’t know where it’s been”).  He relies on synthetic.  All he wants is to take care of his guests, give his daughter a wonderful 118th birthday party, make sure she never leaves home, and never, ever see a human.   But then, just as all of the monsters have arrived for the party, an easy-going bro with an enormous back-pack walks in.  His name is Jonathan (Samberg), he thinks the monsters are cool, and he likes Mavis’ goth-girl vibe.  This is worse than torches and pitchforks.  A human who wants to get rid of monsters is one thing but a daughter who might fall in love with one is even scarier.  And yes, there a wink at “Twilight.”

Of the three animated horror 3D comedies this fall, “Hotel Transylvania” is the least aesthetically ambitious, the most accessible for younger children, and the closest to the comfortingly silly scares of “Scooby-Doo.”   Like this film, “ParaNorman” (now in theaters) and “Frankenweenie” (opening next week), the focus is on showing us that what we think is scary really is not very frightening after all.  Of the three, this one has more all-out comedy, much of it coming from the monster-fied setting and the ghoul-ification of ordinary life.  At Hotel Transylvania, the Do Not Disturb signs hanging from the doorknobs are shrunken heads — very outspoken ones.  Mavis likes to eat “scream” cheese, which amusingly rises up from the cracker to let out a squeal as she takes a bite.  Guests are greeted by zombie bellman, a Jack Pumpkinhead doorman, and a skeleton mariachi band with hats and sarapes.  When the Invisible Man (David Spade) attempts to play charades, it is a hoot.

First-time director Genndy Tartakovsky was a storyboard artist on films like “Iron Man 2,” so he has an exceptional understanding of the mechanics and timing of the action sequences, and 3D adds a vertiginous thrill to a chase on flying tables and a touch of claustrophobia to a maze of underground corridors.  It is telling that both of those highlights involve the most vivid vampire/human relationship at the heart of the story — Dracula and Jonathan. Despite a lot of talk about romantic “zing,” the bromance is much more real than the love story.  And when they leave the castle for that most overused of climax cliches, the race to the airport, the story sags.

Top voice talent includes Kevin James as a sweet-natured Frankenstein and Fran Drescher as his bride, Steve Buscemi and Molly Shannon as the Wolf couple with innumerable cubs, and Ceelo Green as the outgoing Mummy.  But the real stars are character designers Carter Goodrich (“Despicable Me”), Greg Kellman (“Madagascar”), and Carlos Grangel (“King Fu Panda”), whose monsters pay affectionate homage to their origins but are so endearing that families may want to pay a visit to have room service deliver an order of scream cheese.

 

 

 

Parents should know that the monsters in this movie are intended to be more funny than scary but there are some grotesque and macabre images that may be frightening to young or sensitive children as well as some potty humor and peril.

Family discussion: Why was Dracula so afraid to let Mavis leave home?  How can parents know when their children are ready for more responsibility?  Which monster was your favorite?

If you like this, try: “ParaNorman,” “Monster House,” “Monsters vs. Aliens,” and “Scooby-Doo”

 

Related Tags:

 

3D Animation Comedy Fantasy Movies -- format Romance

That’s My Boy

Posted on June 14, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Oscar Wilde’s famous story The Picture of Dorian Gray is about a dissolute young man who retains his youthful beauty as his portrait, hidden in the attic, shows his face becoming more aged and corrupt.  I can’t help thinking that somewhere there is a young Adam Sandler while we watch his screen persona grow more and more repulsively scrofulous.  As revolting as this movie is — and it is truly and deeply loathsome — that isn’t the worst part.  More offensive than the disgusting attempts at humor that debase every life form is the utter contempt for the audience that shows in every lazy and incompetent frame and line of dialogue, with Sandler’s lines all said in that horrible comic voice he uses to show he is playing a stupid person.  And more depressing than all of that is the horrific sight of Sandler’s insistence on creating the most unpleasant character imaginable and then having all of the other characters find him irresistible.

I have no problem with humor that is politically incorrect or even offensive (see my review of “The Dictator”) if there is some intelligence behind it and some point to be made.  But this movie’s “comedy” has less wit than a two-year old making diaper jokes.  He is not pushing boundaries and challenging assumptions.  He is making fun of fat naked people.  It is vile.

Sandler plays Donny, a man who was seduced by his middle school teacher (Eva Amurri Martino) when he was 12.  She became pregnant, and since she was serving a 30-year sentence, he got custody of their son before he was in high school.  And so he named the baby “Han Solo” and gave him candy for breakfast.  Most of the movie takes place when the boy, now using the name “Todd Peterson” (Andy Samberg) is about to get married to Jamie (Leighton Meester, looking like Winnie from “The Wonder Years”).  He has told everyone his parents were killed in an explosion and has done his best to be the responsible grown-up his father never was.  He is a successful hedge fund manager staying at the home of the wealthy boss (Tony Orlando!) he hopes will make him a partner.  The boss has an elderly mother, of course.  Another one of Sandler’s obsessions is sex with old ladies.  

Donny, who has blown through all of the money he made selling his story for a made-for-TV movie (starring Ian Ziering), will have to go to prison if he can’t get $43,000 for the IRS.  His only hope is to get Han/Todd to go visit his mother in prison so he can sell the reunion footage to a reality television show.  Donnie tracks down his son at the boss’ home the weekend of the wedding and causes many scenes of excruciating and un-funny mayhem.  The jokes about Donny and Vanilla Ice(!) having sex with an octogenarian and bother-sister incest(!) are idiotic enough, but Sandler’s need to portray his pustulant character as charming, lovable, and sexy is downright creepy.  At times, I amused myself by pretending it was a horror film.  That was as close to being amused as I got.

(more…)

Related Tags:

 

Comedy
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and the Very, Very Independent — the Spirit Awards and the Razzies

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and the Very, Very Independent — the Spirit Awards and the Razzies

Posted on February 26, 2012 at 1:05 pm

The Spirit Awards for independent film were announced yesterday, as were the Razzie nominations for the worst films and performances of 2011.  Good news for “The Artist,” not such good news for Adam Sandler, who broke the record for the most Razzie nominations, because three of his films were included along with his performances as both actor and actress (in drag) in “Jack and Jill.”

Spirit Awards

BEST FEATURE: “The Artist”
BEST DIRECTOR: Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
BEST MALE LEAD: Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
BEST FEMALE LEAD: Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”
BEST SUPPORTING MALE: Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
BEST SUPPORTING FEMALE: Shailene Woodley, “The Descendants”
BEST FIRST FEATURE: “Margin Call”
JOHN CASSAVETES AWARD (Feature Under $500,000): “Pariah”
BEST SCREENPLAY: “The Descendants”
BEST FIRST SCREENPLAY: “50/50”
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: “The Artist”
BEST DOCUMENTARY: “The Interrupters”
BEST FOREIGN FILM: “A Separation”
ROBERT ALTMAN AWARD: “Margin Call”

 

The Razzies (Golden Rasberry Awards)

WORST PICTURE •  Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star • New Year’s Eve •Transformers: Dark of the Moon •The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1  

WORST ACTOR • Adam SandlerJust Go With It Jack and Jill • Nick Swardson , Bucky Larson •Russell Brand , Arthur • Taylor Lautner , Abduction Breaking Dawn • Nicholas Cage , Drive Angry 3-D, Season of the Witch, Trespass

WORST ACTRESS •  Adam Sandler,  Just Go With It &  Jack and Jill •  Sarah Palin,  Sarah Palin: The Undefeated •  Sarah Jessica Parker,  I Don’t Know How She Does It  New Year’s Eve • Kristen StewartThe Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 • Martin Lawrence,  Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR • Al Pacino, Jack and Jill •  Patrick Dempsey,  Transformers: Dark of the Moon •  James Franco, Your Highness, •  Nick Swardson , Jack and Jill & Just Go With It • Ken Jeong  for four movies—Big Mommas,The Hangover: Part II, Transformers & Zookeeper.

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS • David Spade , Jack and Jill •  Martin Lawrence,  Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son •  Nicole Kidman , Just Go With It • Rosie Huntington-Whiteley , Transformers: Dark of the Moon • Katie Holmes, Jack and Jill

WORST SCREEN ENSEMBLES • The Entire Cast of Bucky Larson • The Entire Cast of Jack and Jill • The Entire Cast of New Year’s Eve • The Entire Cast of Transformers • The Entire Cast of  Breaking Dawn

WORST SCREEN COUPLE •  Nicholas Cage & “anyone sharing the screen with him in any of his three 2011 films” •  Shia LaBeouf & Rosie Huntington-Whiteley,  Transformers • Adam Sandler & Jennifer Aniston or  Brooklyn Decker,  Just Go With It • Adam Sandler & Katie HolmesAl Pacino or himself,  Jack and Jill • Kristen Stewart & Taylor Lautner or  Robert PattinsonBreaking Dawn.

WORST PREQUEL, SEQUEL, REMAKE OR RIPOFF • Arthur •  Bucky Larson •  The Hangover: Part II • Jack and Jill • Breaking Dawn

WORST DIRECTOR •  Michael Bay,  Transformers •  Tom Brady,  Bucky Larson •  Bill CondonBreaking Dawn • Dennis Dugan,  Jack and Jill  Just Go With It •  Garry Marshall,  New Year’s Eve.

WORST SCREENPLAY • Bucky Larson • Jack and Jill • New Year’s Eve •  Transformers • Breaking Dawn

Related Tags:

 

Awards
The Worst Movies of 2011 — New York Magazine’s Vulture Polls the Critics

The Worst Movies of 2011 — New York Magazine’s Vulture Polls the Critics

Posted on January 25, 2012 at 8:00 am

Thanks to New York Magazine for including me in their round-up of the worst films of 2011.  The ballots — unlike the movies they nominate — are smart, funny, and passionate.

Related Tags:

 

Media Appearances
The Worst Movies of 2011

The Worst Movies of 2011

Posted on December 30, 2011 at 10:13 am

I was lucky to miss several of the films that have been showing up on worst lists for 2011, especially “Jack and Jill” with Adam Sandler (and Al Pacino!), already the clear front-runner for the Razzies.  But I was able to put together a list of miserable failures that are awful enough.  To get on my annual worst list, it is not enough for the movie just to be terrible.  It has to be downright atrocious, showing contempt for the audience or otherwise violating the bond between those who make movies and those who buy tickets to see them — the promise that they will make the best and truest movies they can.

1.  “Mars Needs Moms” One of the biggest money-losers of all time, this motion-capture film failed visually, with its human characters disturbingly unexpressive.  But it was the storyline that was the real problem, with weirdly retro gender politics and unnecessarily unsettling peril.

2. “Arthur” One of two unnecessary remakes on the list, this one gets extra badness points for terrible use of Nick Nolte and Helen Mirren.

3. “Just Go With It” Adam Sandler’s even more unnecessary remake of the delightful “Cactus Flower” is appallingly clueless about its own offensiveness, with even the good guy characters portrayed as heartless mercenaries.

4.  “Zookeeper” This talking animal movie about a lovelorn zookeeper substitutes “frickin'” for stronger language to get a PG rating but forgets to substitute wit and heart for the inane and insulting screenplay.  Extra badness points for wasting the talents of not just stars Kevin James and Rosario Dawson, Ken Jeong (a humiliatingly shrill, borderline racist caricature), Donnie Wahlberg as an animal-abusing zoo staffer, and voice talents Nick Nolte (again!), Cher, Sylvester Stallone, and Don Rickles.

5. “Red Riding Hood”  Oh, Grandma, what a big, bad movie this one is.  I had to invoke the infamous Gothika Rule to save audiences the misery of sitting through it.

6. “I Don’t Know How She Does It”  I don’t know why they made it.  One of the worst mistakes a film can make is overestimating the appeal of its characters.  This film insults working mothers and human beings everywhere.

7. “What’s Your Number?” We are supposed to root for the heroine to realize she has not thrown herself away in a series of unpleasant and demeaning sexual encounters.  But she has.

8.  “Hall Pass” Perpetually childish men are constantly chastened and terrified by scary mommies with daunting sexual demands.  Bad times!

9.  “Sucker Punch” Not so much punch, but a lot of sucker.  Hint: if the theme of the movie is female empowerment, heels and spangled miniskirts subvert the message.  And the best images were taken from artist Ashley Wood.

10. “Bad Teacher” Bad movie.

Dishonorable mention: “Crazy Stupid Love” for spoiling a clever comedy with misogyny and a pervily positive portrayal of a teenage girl giving nude photos of herself to a middle schooler, and “Anonymous” for incoherent story-telling and sheer stupidity in its portrayal of just about everyone including Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth.  The two worst movies for children: “The Smurfs” (Joan Rivers cameo?  Really?)  and “Hop” (a Hugh Hefner sexy bunny joke?  Really??)

 

Related Tags:

 

Lists
THE MOVIE MOM® is a registered trademark of Nell Minow. Use of the mark without express consent from Nell Minow constitutes trademark infringement and unfair competition in violation of federal and state laws. All material © Nell Minow 1995-2025, all rights reserved, and no use or republication is permitted without explicit permission. This site hosts Nell Minow’s Movie Mom® archive, with material that originally appeared on Yahoo! Movies, Beliefnet, and other sources. Much of her new material can be found at Rogerebert.com, Huffington Post, and WheretoWatch. Her books include The Movie Mom’s Guide to Family Movies and 101 Must-See Movie Moments, and she can be heard each week on radio stations across the country.

Website Designed by Max LaZebnik