Our Friend

Posted on January 21, 2021 at 5:35 pm

B +

Lowest Recommended Age:	High School
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for language
Profanity:	Very strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Social drinking, medication
Violence/ Scariness:	Illness and very sad death
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	January 22, 2021
Date Released to DVD:	March 29, 2021

“Friend” is a category that is near-endless in scope. We use it to describe a work colleague we have lunch with sometimes, someone we’ve seen at parties whose middle name we don’t know, someone we met playing tennis who never heard the story of how our two-year-old locked herself in the bathroom with the cat. We use that word for the people we deliver casseroles to when things get tough, and those who deliver them to us, never crossing the doorway into the house. And yet we use the same word to encompass a person who gave up his job, his home, and his relationship to help people he cares about through as excruciatingly painful and physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting experience as there is, the terminal illness of a young mother. That is the real-life story of Our Friend.

Dakota Johnson plays Nicole Teague, wife of journalist Matthew Teague (Casey Affleck), devoted and endlessly patient mother to Molly and Evangeline, and best friend of Dane (Jason Segel), a shy and sometimes awkward guy who has struggled with depression and with direction. But when Nicole’s diagnosis is dire, he leaves New Orleans to move in with the family, saying simply, “I just feel like I’m supposed to be here right now.”

He tells his girlfriend it will probably be just for a few weeks. But he stays as his vacation days get used up and he loses his job and as her patience gets used up and he loses her. He just stays, never asking how he can help, just quietly providing a sense of stability in the home.

“Our Friend” is based on Matthew Teague’s award-winning story in Esquire. In an interview, I asked Teague about Dane, who, as characters in the movie point out, is not successful in conventional terms but whose quiet and extraordinarily sensitive support defines the term “no greater love.” He said simply, “He is my hero. And it’s pretty great to have a best friend who is also your hero.”

Teague also spoke candidly about the two kinds of health care professionals families encounter in critical illness. The first are only about doing anything medically possible to prolong life. The second come in for hospice care, and will do anything they can to keep the patient comfortable and support the family.

We see both in this film, the second portrayed by the great Cherry Jones as the well-named Faith. Pointedly, as really happened, Dane arrives just as both Nicole and the family dog are diagnosed with cancer, and it is Dane who has to take the dog to the vet and be there for what we euphemistically call being put to sleep. Matthew exhaustedly says he wants to make sure the girls do not associate the two cancers.

We see the impact of the illness on Nicole. As the doctor warns at the beginning, the family will see her unlike anything in their past understanding of who she is. There will be confusion, anger, lashing out, and not just from Nicole. But the focus of the film, as the title indicates, is on the friend, who just shows up and says, “Would it help if I stayed with you for a while?”

The script by Brad Ingelsby (“The Way Back,” “Run All Night”) jumps back and forth in time, as though it is all from Matthew’s memory as he writes the story. It opens with Dane sitting on the porch with the girls as Matthew and Nicole rehearse what they will say to let their daughters know that their mother is dying. Though typed titles tell us where we are in time vis a vis the diagnosis, it is sometimes distracting. But director Gabriela Cowperthwaite, who showed great compassion for damaged characters in “Meagan Leavy,” imbues the film with enormous compassion for its characters and the lead actors, especially Segel, bring endless warmth and humanity to their roles, which always feel fully inhabited. We feel their loss. And we feel the sustaining connections that help them through.

Parents should know that this movie is the story of the illness and death of a young mother, and it is very sad. Characters use strong language and there are references to adultery.

Family discussion: What made Dane different from the other friends? Who has been a Dane in your life? Who would you be a Dane for?

If you like this, try: “50/50,” with Seth Rogen playing a character based on himself in the true story of a someone who helps a young friend with cancer, and “My Life” with Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman

David Lowery on “A Ghost Story” — The Costume, the Pie, the Story of Grief

Posted on July 17, 2017 at 12:35 pm

My interview with writer/director/editor David Lowery is on HuffPost. He explains the mechanics of the surprisingly complicated ghost costume worn by Casey Affleck through the film, and the already-legendary scene of Rooney Mara eating an entire pie.

It definitely started with Charlie Brown. We initially thought that were going to take a childlike image of a ghost, the Halloween costume that everyone knows from Charlie Brown and finds some pathos in it. But to find that pathos we really had to develop that symbol, that image that costume to a degree we hadn’t expected.

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Directors Interview Writers

Manchester By the Sea

Posted on November 23, 2016 at 10:00 pm

A-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for language throughout and some sexual content
Profanity:	Very strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Drinking and drunkenness, substance abuse and recovery
Violence/ Scariness:	Fighting, tragic deaths of parent and children
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	November 23, 2016
Date Released to DVD:	February 20, 2017
Amazon.com ASIN:	B01LTHZVKG

We think the hard question is why bad things happen to good people, but really the hardest question is this: when the hard things happen, how do we go on?

Writer/director Kenneth Lonergan likes to explore this question in films that are complex, layered, and respectful of the audience’s intelligence and attention span. He lets the story bloom in its own time. He lets his characters lead messy lives, even after the story ends. He does not lay out all the backstory with voiceover narration or the kind of exposition-heavy dialog (“It’s been three year since it happened. Don’t you think it’s time to move on?”) that writers often use as shortcuts. As we go back and forth in time, it is not clear whether we are seeing incidents from the past that the characters are recalling now or whether it is just Lonergan himself, letting us deepen our understanding. Either way, it is presented with exquisite care, and exquisitely calibrated performances that reward our careful attention.

Lee (Casey Affleck), his brother Joe (Kyle Chandler), and Joe’s son Patrick (Ben O’Brien as a child, Lucas Hedges as a teenager) enjoy an afternoon on Joe’s fishing boat. And then we see Lee, shoveling snow, doing repairs in an apartment building, dogged and remote. He overhears a tenant telling someone she thinks he is attractive, but he does not respond. He argues with his boss. He overreacts at a bar and gets into a fight. Later, we will hear someone refer to him in hushed tones as “the Lee Chandler.” But it will be a while before we learn the tragic details that led to his notoriety.

Lee gets a call. Joe, who had a bad heart, has died. Lee is calm and capable, driving to the hospital and making arrangements. But he is shocked to find that Joe has made him Patrick’s guardian. We know that Lee is a limited, damaged man. And perhaps we know that the unexpected guardianship of a teenager is his opportunity for redemption. We’ve all seen that movies, probably often enough we can predict how many minutes until the big hug scene. But Lonergan has something different in mind, something more layered and complex. It is sad, but not dreary. There are moments of great humor, especially as Lee and Patrick try to find a way to figure out what they are going to do next. Each, in his own way, is disconnected from his feelings and not interested in trying. Patrick cares about his two girlfriends and his band. He wants to hold onto his father’s boat, even though Lee cannot afford it. He wants to stay in the film’s title town, even though Lee works in Boston. Lee — well, he pretty much just wants to whatever task lies in front of him without having to feel too much.

It all literally pieced together for us gradually as moments from the past are revealed, perhaps as recalled by Lee, perhaps just Lonergan’s sure sense that only putting the pieces of the puzzle together slowly, leaving some spaces for us to fill in ourselves, will give us the deeper sense of recognition. Individual scenes are exquisitely composed and performed, especially a conversation between Lee and his ex-wife, Randi (Michelle Williams), another in a police station, and an awkward meal with Patrick, his mother, a recovering substance abuser (Gretchen Mol), and her tightly-wound new partner (Matthew Broderick), poised between protective and controlling. The cumulative power sneaks up on you, until the perfectly imperfect ending.

Parents should know that this film includes disturbing material with very strong and crude language, a deadly fire, tragic deaths including parent and children, attempted suicide, sexual references including teen sex and brief nudity, drugs, drinking and drunkenness, and some fighting.

Family discussion: Why did Joe pick Lee? Why didn’t Patrick show more emotion? Why does this movie wait to tell us what happened to Lee?

If you like this, try: “You can Count on Me” and “Margaret” from the same writer-director

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Drama DVD/Blu-Ray Pick of the Week

Trailer: The Finest Hours

Posted on September 11, 2015 at 8:00 am

A heroic action-thriller, “The Finest Hours” is the remarkable true story of the greatest small boat rescue in Coast Guard history. Presented in Digital 3D™ and IMAX® 3D, the film will transport audiences to the heart of the action, creating a fully-immersive cinematic experience on an epic scale. On February 18, 1952, a massive nor’easter struck New England, pummeling towns along the Eastern seaboard and wreaking havoc on the ships caught in its deadly path, including the SS Pendleton, a T-2 oil tanker bound for Boston, which was literally ripped in half, trapping more than 30 sailors inside its rapidly-sinking stern. As the senior officer on board, first assistant engineer Ray Sybert (Casey Affleck) soon realizes it is up to him to take charge of the frightened crew and inspire the men to set aside their differences and work together to ride out one of the worst storms to ever hit the East Coast. Meanwhile, as word of the disaster reaches the U.S. Coast Guard station in Chatham, Massachusetts, Warrant Officer Daniel Cluff (Eric Bana) orders a daring operation to rescue the stranded men. Despite overwhelming odds, four men, led by Coast Guard Captain Bernie Webber (Chris Pine), set out in a wooden lifeboat with an ill-equipped engine and little, if any, means of navigation, facing frigid temperatures, 60-foot high waves and hurricane-force winds.

Out of the Furnace

Posted on December 5, 2013 at 6:00 pm

“Out of the Furnace” gets no credit for its good intentions because it collapses under the combined weight of pretentiousness and condescension. This is Hollywood’s idea of a searing drama about life in recession-era heartland, as phony as a painted backdrop. It is clearly intended to be a sympathetic portrait of two brothers betrayed by America. Russell (Christian Bale) lost his job when the steel mill closed down. His brother Rodney (Casey Affleck) went into the military and came home shattered by what he saw in four tours in Iraq. With no alternatives, their problems get worse. Rodney makes money in bare-knuckle fights, but keeps getting into trouble because he cannot bring himself to take a dive when told to do so by the fight promoter, Petty (Willem Dafoe). As their situations become more desperate, Rodney insists that Petty introduce him to meth dealer DeGroat (Woody Harrelson), so that he can make more money.

Co-writer/director Scott Cooper (“Crazy Heart”) tries to convey a sense of relentless pressure, crumbling infrastructure, and ever-constricting choices that force Russell and Rodney into making decisions with catastrophic consequences. But the film could easily be used to make the opposite points. Over and over, the brothers are told not to do something — like get involved with a murderous meth dealer — and they do it anyway. Russell is losing his job because the economy is bad. But he loses the girl he loves (Zoe Saldana) because he goes to prison. He goes to prison because he goes to a bar, gets drunk, drives, and causes an accident that kills two people. He has a lot of strong feelings and sense of loyalty for his brother and he is very upset about the death of his parents and his girlfriend leaving him for another man. When it comes to the innocent people he killed, he does not seem to have a sense of responsibility. We are supposed to be on his side because he is a decent guy who loves his brother, cares for his dying father, and misses his girlfriend, who married the decent local cop while Russell was in prison. But it is hard to be sympathetic when he — and the film — make no distinction between the limits imposed on him and the bad choices he made. Indeed, the movie ultimately becomes condescending, even contemptuous, in ignoring one of the core principles of narrative, which is respecting just that distinction. We are supposed to be on Rodney’s side because something in him, some core integrity, will not allow him to lose a fight he knows he can win. The metaphor is off-base and heavy-handed.

These are all great actors, and they all work hard to give good performances, but that in itself finally seems distancing. If they understood the essential humanity of the people dealing with these circumstances, the veterans struggling with PTSD, the factory workers whose jobs are gone, they would not distance themselves with such obvious artifice. Harrelson’s over-the-top sociopath seems to be from another movie entirely. Only Dafoe and Forest Whitaker as the sympathetic policeman create characters with any sense of authenticity, with Zoe Saldana relegated to a sad girlfriend role, doubly dreary because it is so tiresomely predictable. The real Russells and Rodneys deserve better, and so does the audience.

Parents should know that this film has very strong and disturbing violence with graphic images, fatal drunk driving accident, murder, brutal fight scenes, guns, description of wartime violence, constant very strong language, substance abuse, and non-explicit sexual situations.

Family discussion: What does the title refer to? Why do the characters constantly ignore advice that will keep them out of trouble? What does this movie want to say about our economy and political system?

If you like this, try: “Killing Them Softly” and “October Country”

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Crime Drama Tragedy