Slate’s Tribute to the Worst Christmas Television Specials

Posted on December 16, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Han Solo hugs Chewbacca? Fat Albert meets a baby in a sort of urban manger? He-Man learns about Christmas from two annoying little kids?

But bad Christmas specials can inspire good responses. This is a classic from Tom Shales of the Washington Post about a Kathie Lee Gifford special he did not find so special.

What’s the difference between the 24-hour flu and a Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas special? Twenty-three hours. The actual title for this year’s exercise in false piety, faked sentiment and aerobic grinning was “Kathie Lee Gifford: Christmas Every Day,” an appalling prospect any way you look at it. This is the kind of television to be watched not from the couch, as it were, but while peering out from behind it and using it as a shield, as if perhaps an air raid or some other sort of massive bombing were in progress.

“Kathie Lee: Home for Christmas,” Kathie Lee Gifford’s second annual CBS Christmas special, is perhaps even worse than her first — a sickeningly saccharine vanity production that should really have been titled “O Come, Let Us Adore Me.” That ghastly Gifford grin, ear to ear and back again, seems steeped in self-esteem and almost blinding in its show biz phoniness.

Kathie Lee Gifford sings songs like she’s mad at them. What did they ever do to her? Maybe she was frightened by a song as a child. And by Christmas, too, because each year on television she wreaks a bit more revenge.

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Shorts Television

Is Target the New Scrooge?

Posted on December 16, 2009 at 8:00 am

Is anyone as bothered by the Target Christmas commercials as I am?

They have a series of commercials reflecting tighter economic times by emphasizing their low prices. Great, I’m on board with that. But these commercials would be sour and tawdry at any time of year and seem even less so at a time that is supposed to be about generosity and family closeness. The theme of these commercials is that someone is unhappy with a gift because he or she thinks it cost too much and so feels uncomfortable and unworthy. Take a look at this thoroughly un-charming family tableau:

This is very unusual; typically, a commercial is a 30-second story with a happy ending. Someone gets good advice on a laundry detergent or insurance policy and is grateful — a bonding experience in half a minute. Christmas commercials usually show people thrilled to receive wonderful gifts that perfectly communicate connection and intimacy. Target’s commercials, though intended to be humorous, leave the characters feeling awkward and estranged, and I suspect the audiences as well. They certainly leave me wanting to stay as far away as possible from Target and promote the idea that bargains lead to bad feelings, not good ones.

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Advertising Understanding Media and Pop Culture

Christmas Movie Quiz #2

Posted on December 15, 2009 at 3:57 pm

The first Christmas movie quiz was so much fun I’ve got another one — a little harder this time!
1. Which movie based on a classic book stars a one-time Star Trek captain?
2. In which Christmas classic do children surprise a priest when they make an unusual choice for the song they sing to the baby Jesus in their nativity play: Happy Birthday?
3. Barbara Stanwyck stars in two movies that often show up at Christmas. In one she plays a journalist who writes Martha Stewart-style features about home-making but really can’t cook and then has to entertain her boss at Christmas. In the other she plays a thief who has to go home for the holidays with the prosecuting attorney who is trying to put her in jail. What are they?
4. In which of the great Christmas weepies of all time is an estranged couple re-united by a shawl and a painting?
5. Which animated Christmas movie features songs by the Broadway composer/lyricist team who went on to do “Funny Girl?”
6. One of the foremost American playwrights, known for tragedy, wrote just one comedy and it takes place at Christmas. It is about two couples, one newlywed, one married for several years, having marital problems and it stars Jane Fonda. What is the title?
7. A bitter, divorced father finds himself right in the middle of Christmas after an accident at his house has him taking over for a Christmas character in what movie?
8. In which caustic Christmas comedy does one relative, asked to say grace, recite the Pledge of Allegiance?
9. Which movie explains the four major food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup?
10. One of the highlights of which all-star British movie is a performance of a Mariah Carey Christmas song by a group of children in a school holiday play that includes a “first lobster” at the nativity?

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Quiz
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