Lone Ranger — A Bad Movie Sparks Some Good Comments

Posted on July 13, 2013 at 8:00 am

It’s often more fun to read about a bad movie than a good one (more fun to write about a bad one, too). “The Lone Ranger” is not a terrible movie. It does not inspire the kind of horrified hyperbole of legendary hubristic disasters like “Battlefield Earth” but it is the kind of bad movie that inspires some exceptionally thoughtful insights.  Some I have particularly enjoyed include:

Christopher Orr used “The Lone Ranger” to illustrate the increasing problem of increasing running times.

The film has plenty of weaknesses—an unevenness of tone, a surfeit of plot convolutions, some problematic political echoes—but its central flaw is that it is absurdly, punishingly overlong. Tucked away somewhere in its 149-minute running time, there is a clever, corny summer diversion lasting perhaps an hour and three-quarters. But this is the era of the Big Cinematic Event, and if you don’t want every single dollar of a $200-million-plus budget to be waved in your face—well, you may as well stay home and watch TV….somewhere around the hour-and-a-half mark, The Lone Ranger makes the fateful decision not to end. Worse, the movie keeps not-ending for another full hour. Unnecessary backstories unspool, tiresome gimmicks get rolled out—look! there’s Helena Bonham Carter as a tough-but-decent prostitute whose wooden leg is really a gun—and dull new villains are revealed to be behind the perfectly compelling originals. The final action sequence (also set on a train) proves to be as exhausting as the first was amusing, with the body count escalating unpleasantly and the William Tell Overture—used sparingly throughout most of the film—commencing to trample everything in its path.

This leads to an hilarious discussion of more movies that should have done more with less.lone ranger

I can’t say whether I might enjoy a Transformers movie that was under two hours long—but one reason that I can’t say is because the ones that Michael Bay has offered up to us have clocked in at 144, 149, and 154 minutes respectively. And it’s not just the summer blockbusters: Les Miserables was a polished, well-crafted film that labored under the misconception that viewers wanted to pass the 19th century in real time. And don’t get me started on Peter Jackson’s first installment of The Hobbit or, like the movie itself, I might never stop.

The movie does not have much of interest to say about race, but the critics do.  Johnny Depp, who co-produced and played Tonto as a much more central character than in previous versions, claims Native American ancestry and says he based the character on research.  And producer Jerry Bruckheimer insisted that ” Native American community…is so behind this movie, it’s fantastic.”  There were Native American consultants on set and performers on screen, and the production raised money for Indian scholarships.  But Indian Country Today says that it may not be possible to present the story of the Indian sidekick without racist overtones.

And New York Magazine’s Vulture blog uses everything that’s wrong with the movie to talk about everything that’s wrong with Hollywood.  I especially endorse the idea of skipping the origin stories and getting down to it, as the originators of the origin story, comic books, understood from, well, the beginning.

Even the most widely criticized movie has its defenders, and I always like to listen to those who see more in a movie than I do.  On Rogerebert.com, Matt Zoller Seitz wrote an excellent review about the small, personal film he found inside the blockbuster:

or all its miscalculations, this is a personal picture, violent and sweet, clever and goofy. It’s as obsessive and overbearing as Steven Spielberg’s “1941” — and, I’ll bet, as likely to be re-evaluated twenty years from now, and described as “misunderstood.”…How do you adapt the Ranger for multicultural, post-9/11, post-financial-meltdown America? That’s the question. The filmmakers grapple with it amusingly, and throw in large-scale action, broad slapstick, and black-comedy banter while they’re at it.

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Critics

The Lone Ranger

Posted on July 7, 2013 at 11:32 pm

C
Lowest Recommended Age: High School
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence, and some suggestive material
Profanity: Some mild language
Alcohol/ Drugs: Scenes in bar
Violence/ Scariness: Extensive action-style violence, some graphic, many deaths and injuries
Diversity Issues: A theme of the movie but some insensitivity to racial differences
Date Released to Theaters: July 4, 2013
Amazon.com ASIN: B008JFUOC2

lone rangerFor more than a century the movies have been telling us the story of America through westerns, and each decade gets the version it deserves.  We have seen films range from the optimistic, heroic, and racially insensitive movies of the 40’s (“Destry Rides Again,” “My Darling Clementine”) to the more politically metaphoric movies of the cold war era (“High Noon,” “The Ox-Bow Incident”) to the subversive 60’s (“Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” “Cat Ballou”), to the bleakness of spaghetti westerns and the Oscar-winning “Unforgiven.”

And now, 110  years after Edwin S. Porter’s “Great Train Robbery” (considered the first movie western), we get an update on the radio show-turned television series-turned forgettable 1981 movie version starring model-almost-turned-actor Klinton Spilsbury and Michael Horse, “The Lone Ranger.”  And it is indeed a reflection on the era of Citizens United and squestration.  It is the very essence of soulless corporate excess and celebrity self-regard.

The folks behind “Pirates of the Caribbean” have reunited for a reboot of “The Lone Ranger,” but this is more like the overstuffed sequels than the fresh and charming original.  Everything is out of balance in this bloated two and a half-hour endurance challenge.  The worst part is that pared down to lose 40 minutes or so of filler, this could be a nice little action movie.  It has the key ingredients: a story and characters that have stood the test of time, inventive and absorbing action sequences, and talented performers.  Unfortunately, it is hard to find any of that in the midst of all of the bombast and overkill and tooooo many cooks.

It is now well known that Depp became a superstar with his performance as Captain Jack Sparrow in the “Pirates” movies, a performance of such quirk and weirdness that it completely freaked out the suits.  So of course now, with him as producer, they let him do whatever he wanted for the character of Tonto, including spending the entire movie with his face completely painted and wearing a dead crow on his head, inspired by a picture he saw.  This is when the suits should have stepped in.  Instead they were enablers, allowing the quirks to become distracting and unpleasant.  That is especially true in a completely unnecessary framing story set in 1933, with Depp in old man make-up appearing in an old west display, telling a little kid dressed as the Lone Ranger his story.

Armie Hammer does his best in a thankless role.  His John Reid is part James Stewart in “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance” (bookish lawyer who wants to bring Lockeian notions of a civil society to the west), part doofus.  He isn’t as smart as Tonto or the villains, which is fine, but he isn’t as smart as his horse, either.  He isn’t as smart as the blanket under his saddle, except when he is, or when he is called upon to do crazy stunts like racing the snow-white “spirit horse” across the top of a racing train, shooting his gun as he goes.  He is a fine actor with a strong screen presence and he is clearly game.  He deserves better.

The many, many references to other movies seem like crutches, not tributes.  The many, many anachronisms are sloppy and show contempt for the audience, not meta-commentary.  People in 1869 did not say “Let’s do this.”  They did not eat hot dogs in buns with ketchup.  The “Star Spangled Banner” did not become the national anthem until 1931. There was no such thing as “health code violations” in a bar — or a house of prostitution.  And the all-purpose conspiracy that has the military, a hostile takeover, and an outlaw feels desperate and generic.  Any commentary on today’s economic and political woes is purely coincidental.

The real commentary on the failures of capitalism is in spending $250 million of the Disney shareholders’ money on this uninspired vanity project.

Parents should know that this film has intense and graphic violence for a PG-13.  A villain literally eats the heart of a man he has murdered and there is massive slaughter, with many characters injured and killed.  There are prostitutes, a cross-dresser, bathroom humor, some alcohol, and mild language.

Family discussion:  Why did Tonto feed the crow?  Why was trading so important to him?  Read the Lone Ranger’s creed and discuss how it applies to your life.

If you like this, try: “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance,” “Silverado,” “Cat Ballou,” and “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”

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Action/Adventure Based on a television show Comedy Drama Movies -- format Remake Western

Ten Facts About the Lone Ranger

Posted on June 29, 2013 at 8:06 am

Be sure to check out my gallery about the history of the Lone Ranger (Did you know he’s the Green Hornet’s uncle? Can you name Tonto’s horse? How did he get his name? Why does he use silver bullets?) as the new movie version with Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer opens this week.

We can all learn from the Lone Ranger’s creed.

“I believe that to have a friend, a man must be one. That all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world. That God put the firewood there but that every man must gather and light it himself. In being prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for that which is right. That a man should make the most of what equipment he has. That ‘This government, of the people, by the people and for the people’ shall live always. That men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number. That sooner or later… somewhere…somehow… we must settle with the world and make payment for what we have taken. That all things change but truth, and that truth alone, lives on forever. In my Creator, my country, my fellow man.”

And don’t forget the annual David Letterman tradition of the Jay Thomas story about the Lone Ranger.

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