D.E.B.S.

Four top spies are staking out a meeting between a ruthless Russian assassin and the world’s most notorious international criminal mastermind. One of the spies redirects the sound equipment to eavesdrop on the conversation of a fellow spy who is breaking up with her boyfriend. The she peers down at the targets and says, “I have that sweater, but in taupe!”

Yes, in this movie the good guys and the bad guys in this movie are all girls, and when I say girls, I mean knee socks and tiny plaid skirts and consulting about boyfriends while ducking grenades, tucking guns into chic little backpacks, and lip-synching love songs pretending a broomstick is a microphone.

This is Josie and the Pussycats crossed with Charlie’s Angels, Agent Cody Banks, Get Smart and Saturday morning cartoons. Except with lesbians.

It turns out that the SATs have a special extra test embedded within, a test to find those high school seniors most skilled at lying, cheating and killing. Those girls (apparently no boys qualify) are recruited into the top-secret spy school, D.E.B.S. The four top students are after notorious super-criminal Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster). But when Amy (Sara Foster), who achieved the only perfect score in history, confronts her, the confrontation is complicated by some undeniable romantic attraction.

“Why is it I can hold the whole world hostage but I’m scared to go on one stupid blind date?” Diamond asks her sidekick. “Because love is harder than crime. Now go knock ’em dead. But not really.”

This now makes the third bad movie in a row for the delightfully talented Meagan Good and the second for Foster. The talents of the magnificent Holland Taylor and Michael Clarke Duncan are also woefully underused. This could be a cute short film (as it originally was). It runs out of steam and ideas after about 20 minutes and that’s giving it an additional 10 minutes’ grace just because the girls are so fetching in a Britney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time” era sort of way.

Parents should know that the movie has some mature material for a PG-13 including same-sex sexual encounters (nothing more explicit than kissing) and action-style violence (no one hurt). Characters drink and smoke and use some strong language.

Families who see this movie should talk about the kinds of movies it parodies.

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy Saved! and But I’m a Cheerleader!, both with mature material, and spy spoofs like Our Man Flint and Top Secret.