Daddy’s Home

It is sometimes said that competition between men is a substitute for comparing their male body parts. In “Daddy’s Home,” the men actually lower their trousers — in front of a doctor and a woman who has been married to them both — so they can measure their differences. Belief me, metaphoric competition is better.

Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, who were terrific together in the buddy cop film The Other Guys, reunite with far less success in “Daddy’s Home,” about the battle between a stepdad and a biological dad for the affections of the wife and children.

Ferrell plays Brad, a decent, devoted, responsible, guy who wants more than anything in the world for his stepchildren to love him. It is supposed to be very funny that (1) he lost his ability to have his own biological children in a dental x-ray machine accident depicted in the film’s first moments, (2) he works for a Smooth Jazz station, and (3) his little step-daughter draws a family portrait that shows him with a knife in his head and poop in his hair. Wahlberg is Dusty, Brad’s worst nightmare. He is dashing, exotic, mysterious, and he looks like Mark Wahlberg.

Each tries to outdo the other to impress the children, their mother (Linda Cardellini), Brad’s boss (Thomas Hayden Church), the fertility doctor (Bobby Cannavale), the handyman (Hannibal Buress in one of the film’s few bright spots), and anyone else they can find.

This is a great issue to explore with comedy and heart. Unfortunately, in this film the comedy is not funny and the heart is missing. The competition is all about the men vying against each other; there is not even the most perfunctory suggestion of any benefit for the children or even any consideration of their feelings. They exist as props, and Cardellini is relegated to a thankless role somewhere between sympathy and scold. Ferrell and Wahlberg still have great chemistry, but their characters are just pale imitations of roles we’ve seen them in too many times. A series of lackluster skits based on insults, virility panic, and slapstick don’t make a movie.

Parents should know that this film includes extremely crude and raunchy content with many sexual, reproductive, and bodily function references, drunkenness, very strong language, and themes of rivalry between step and biological fathers.

Family discussion: What did Brad and Dusty most dislike about each other? What did each do best?

If you like this, try: “Big Daddy” and “The Other Guys”