Broken Lizard’s Club Dread

Does the world really need a comic slasher movie? Or, to be more precise, does it need another failed attempt at one?

The would-be wild and crazy guys from would-be comedy troupe Broken Lizard have now produced a second film, taking all of the sex and drug jokes not funny enough for Super Troopers and adding in grisly violence courtesy of a masked serial killer with a machete. What they forgot to add in was imagination, wit, acting ability, or distinctive characters. What it does have is a lot of joke-oids — dialogue that has the rhythm of a joke but is no actual comic content. When a sweet young thing tells a character that she goes to Oral Roberts University, you know what the joke-oid is going to be. And imagine the non-riotous non-humor they can find in an Asian character whose name, Yu, sounds just like the word “you!” Twice! And then there’s that little statue with the huge genitals. And the sex in a graveyard: “Isn’t this like sacred or something?” “No, they’re dead!” And the beastiality humor. They even throw in that gone-and-should-have-been-forgotten chestnut, sarcastic clapping.

The only evidence of intelligence on the part of Broken Lizard was the decision to set the story in an island resort. That way, at least they had fun filming it. If only we had fun watching it.

The resort is owned by Coconut Pete (Bill Paxton), a slightly burnt-out Jimmy Buffett-type who had four gold records with songs about kicking back in paradise (he insists his “Pina Colada Burg” pre-dated “Margaritaville”).

The resort is like a grown-up version of the place Pinocchio turned into a donkey — all sex, drugs, drinking, and more sex. And lots of girls in and out of bikinis.

The movie opens with a threesome drinking ecstacy-spiked margaritas as they get ready to have sex with each other. They are all slashed to death by a masked killer, and the rest of the movie is just dumb joke-oids as we wait around for a bunch of almost-interchangeable characters to be killed off. I was sort of glad when each one died because it meant we were that much closer to the end.

Parents should know that the movie has extremely strong language and explicit sexual references and situations, including a threesome, beastiality, sex toys, and oral sex. Characters are in peril and there are several grisly murders with graphic wounds and a severed head. A character pees in his pants. Drinking, drug use, and promiscuous sex are portrayed as carefree and empowering. Drinking games include a super-soaker filled with tequila.

Families who see this movie should talk about how the characters decided whom to trust.

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy the Scary Movie series.