Four words I didn’t plan on saying: Bring back Chris Tucker!

The bad guy in the movie may be evil, but he doesn’t do nearly as much damage to Jackie Chan as the script does. It’s a cute idea, miserably executed.

Chan plays Jimmy Tong, a guy who knows nothing about kick-boxing (“Everyone in China is not Bruce Lee,” he tells a friend) but drives very, very fast. He ends up as a chauffeur for a James Bond-style spy named Clark Devlin (Jason Issacs, as cool as a vodka martini). When the spy is injured, Jimmy puts on Devlin’s tuxedo, a high-tech wonder that gives its wearer the power to defy gravity, sing and dance to soul music, and, oh yes, fight.

Devlin’s new partner is Del (Jennifer Love Hewitt), a newbie out to prove herself. She thinks Jimmy is Devlin, so the two of them go off to save the world from a deranged wacko who wants to control the world’s drinkable water supply. There is too much time spent doing everything except what Chan is really good at, and when we finally get down to the fight scenes, they are nowhere near his usual standard, except for one brief moment when, wearing only the tuxedo pants and not the jacket, only his legs “know” how to fight.

The plot is even dumber than most of these things (oh yeah, I always schedule a huge formal party at my house the same night I plan to put my plan for total world domination into play), the attempts at humor are far below average, and there is no spark at all between Chan and Hewitt. The usual outtakes at the end show us one supposedly funny moment that perhaps reveals more of the reason for the lack of chemistry on screen than they intended. The movie is too gross for kids and too uninteresting for anyone else.

Parents should know that the movie has crude humor and gross violence. There are some vulgar sexual references. Characters drink and smoke (there is an anti-smoking joke). Del uses her cleavage to get past a security guard and both spies pretend to romance people to find out what they are hiding.

Families who see this movie should talk about the different kinds of courage. Jimmy is very brave about some things but not about others. What are you brave about? What do you find harder to be brave about?

Families who enjoy this movie will enjoy Chan’s much better films, including “Rush Hour” and “Shanghai Noon,” and especially his early Hong Kong work on movies like “Drunken Master” and “Miracles.”

Another year, another Austin Powers movie. And that means 30 very funny minutes surrounded by 60 minutes of far less funny jokes about body parts and body functions, primarily those relating to the bathroom.

Mike Myers returns as Austin Powers, his nemesis, Dr. Evil, and the odious Scottish Fat Bastard. He also plays the new title villain, a Dutchman named Goldmember because of an accident that left him with gilded private parts. Each of Myers’ new characters is less interesting than the one before. Powers takes such pleasure in being himself that he is fun to watch, but Dr. Evil is still his best character since Wayne Campbell and Linda Richman when he was on Saturday Night Live. But the more recent additions are not very memorable. Like Fat Bastard, Goldmember’s primary characteristic is disgusting personal habits. Then there are frequent jokes about prejudice against the Dutch. Huh?

The best part of the movie is the appearance by a number of guest stars. Try to see the movie soon, before all the surprises are given away. Beyoncé Knowles of Destiny’s Child gives sweetness and snap to her role as Foxy Cleopatra, a gentle tribute to the Pam Grier characters of 1970’s blaxploitation movies. There are some great riffs on situations and relationships from the earlier movies, but there are also some excruciating replays of some of their jokes (mostly apparently gross bodily functions) and even excruciating replays of some of the jokes from this movie.

Parents should know that, once again, the movie has a great deal of material that would get an R in a drama. Because some words miss being naughty by a vowel or two and the sexual acts are apparent rather than real, they pass muster with the MPAA. Parents should be very cautious about letting children and young teens see the movie without viewing it first themselves.

Families who see the movie should talk about the fact that most of the major characters feel unloved by their fathers. How does that affect them?

Families who enjoy this movie will enjoy the other two Austin Powers movies and some of the movies that inspired them, like “Our Man Flint” and “Foxy Brown.”

Plot: It is the year 2200, and Commander Adams (Leslie Nielson) directs his spaceship to an earth-like planet called Altair-4 in search of a former earth colony, out of contact for many years. They receive a transmission from Dr. Morbius, telling them to go away, but they insist on landing. When they arrive, a huge robot named Robby greets them and brings Adams and two crew members to the home of Dr. Morbius (Walter Pidgeon). Morbius shows off Robby’s many accomplishments, and tells them that, with the exception of Morbius and his wife, everyone else in the colony perished violently, killed by an unseen force, which has not bothered him since. His wife now dead, he lives there with his daughter, Alta (Anne Francis) and Robby. Curious about the men, Alta introduces herself. She has never seen any human other than her father, and her only friends are the animals, descendants of those brought from earth years before.

Morbius explains that a great race once lived on the planet, and he has studied their artifacts. In an attempt to use their minds and spirits to create something, he inadvertently created a creature made up of their fears and anger. It is called the Id. It reappeared when the colonists arrived, out of their subconscious urges. And, with the arrival of the crew from earth, it has come back again. The invisible being damages the spacecraft and kills three of the men before Morbius, realizing that the Id came from within him, renounces that part of himself, destroying both of them. Adams and Alta escape with the crew before the planet explodes.

Discussion: This was the first big-budget science fiction movie, and the only one for over a decade. It is loosely based on Shakespeare’s “The Tempest,” the story of Prospero the Sorcerer and his daughter Miranda, who are alone on an island until a storm brings their former countrymen to them. Robby the Robot is the obedient Ariel. And the Id is the powerful and angry Caliban. The gadgets and special effects seem almost quaint to us now, but the movie is still fun to watch for younger children and it still raises some important questions for older ones.

The Id, of course, is named for Freud’s famous concept of the id, the instincts and impulses of the unconscious mind. Morbius says that he and his wife survived because they were the only ones who loved the planet and wanted to stay, that the monster was created from the fears and jealousies of the other colonists. The implication (more explicit in portions cut from the film), is that it is the jealousy Morbius feels when Alta falls in love with Adams that brings the Id’s destructiveness out again. In a way, this movie is more a way of exploring unconscious feelings we all harbor than it is speculation about life in the future or on other planets.

Questions for Kids:

This story shows the way people more than forty years ago thought about the future. What things might make people’s ideas about the future different now?

It is interesting that the threat in this movie comes not from some kind of space alien or “bug-eyed monster” but from within the humans themselves. If your feelings could create a creature like the Id, what would it look like when you are mad? When you are sad? When you are lonely? When you are happy?

Do you think we will ever have robots like Robby? What would be the best thing about having one? Would there be any disadvantages?

Is the rule making it impossible for Robby to harm any rational beings a good one, even though it makes it impossible for him to protect them from the Id? Can you think of a better rule?

Connections: Robby inspired, among others, the robot in “Lost in Space” and possibly the “Droids” in “Star Wars” as well. Anne Francis also appeared in “Bad Day at Black Rock” (again as the only woman in the story). Leslie Nielson is now best known for his work in wild comedies like “The Naked Gun” series.

Activities: Read or see a production of “The Tempest” and compare it to this story. (Mature high schoolers might enjoy a modern interpretation in a movie called “Tempest,” directed by John Cassavetes.) The idea of robots is a fairly recent one, dating back to a play called “R.U.R” by Karl Capek. Teenagers should read “R.U.R” and I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov, and become familiar with Asimov’s “rules” for fictional robots, including the one forbidding robots to harm living things.

High schoolers might appreciate some exposure to Freud’s ideas about the id, ego, and superego, which were very current in public consciousness at the time of this movie. His book An Introduction to Psychoanalysis is a good place to start.

The original Men in Black (1997) is one of my all-time favorite movies, just for originality and sheer attitude. Director Barry Sonnenfeld, production designer Bo Welch, and stars Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Linda Fiorentino, and Vincent D’Onofrio achieved near perfection with a tone that was just off-center and the essence of cool. The story and special effects were perfectly satisfying, but the movie was all about throwaway lines like “Now I’m going to have to buy the white album again” and “We’re not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here.” I highly recommend the DVD, which has one of the best packages of extras I have ever seen, especially the commentary from Jones and Sonnenfeld.

The sequel has flickers of the original spirit, but it is like a fifth generation photocopy, a blurry reproduction rather than a re-imagined original.

Sonnenfeld, Welch, Jones, and Smith return, along with MiB1’s Rip Torn and Tony Shaloub, but the movie squanders our pleasure at seeing favorite characters return and then makes things worse when the additions and new characters are not up to their level. Worst of all, the underlying story line is lackluster, with plot holes and a brief running time that suggest that we may get a lot of deleted scenes on the DVD.

At the end of MiB1, agent J (Smith) erases the memories of his partner, K (Jones), so that he can return to a normal life. But as MiB2 begins, a scary-looking alien (disguised, of course, as a Victoria’s Secret model and played by Lara Flynn Boyle) returns to earth and only K knows how to deal with her. J has to track K down (he works for a post office in Massachusetts), un-erase his memory, and work with him to save the planet from the scum of the universe.

Along the way, they meet up with a variety of characters, both alien (a subway-swallowing serpentish thing named Jeff and the cutest little furry guys since Dr. Seuss) and human (the very lovely Rosario Dawson). The talking dog and smart-alecky worm guys from MiB1 are back with more screen time as well.

Parents should know that the PG-13 rating is for intense peril, graphic violence (comic-book-style), some gross-out special effects, and some vulgar humor, including a sight gag about kneeing an alien’s most vulnerable spot. Some viewers will find the resolution of the story unsettling.

Families who see this movie should talk about what they think creatures from other planets might be like, and why the way we think about them tells us more about us than it does about them. Why doesn’t J want to erase Rita’s memory? Why is it important to find someone you can tell your real feelings to?

Families who enjoy this movie will enjoy the original and director Sonnenfeld’s Addams Family Values.

Movie director Viktor Taransky (Al Pacino) has had it with actors. The star of his new movie (Winona Ryder, relishing her cameo as a temperamental “model with a SAG card”) insists that he pick all the red Mike and Ike candies out of the bowl and ensure that her trailer is not only the biggest but also the tallest. She walks off the movie and Viktor is about to lose his deal with the studio, even though the executive in charge is his ex-wife Elaine (Catherine Keener).

But thanks to a bequest from a computer genius, Viktor finds the perfect substitute to star in his movie. She’s perfect because she will do anything he says. And she will do anything he says because she is not a human being – she is a computer simulation living in a hard drive. He can take a little bit of Sophia Loren, Audrey Hepburn, Greta Garbo, and a dozen other stars and then program her to do, say, wear, or digitally appear anywhere he wants to. It’s Pygmalion for the digital age. He collapses the name of the program (“Simulation One”) is to name her Simone.

Viktor digitally substitutes Simone for his departed star, and she causes a sensation. He is aided in his deception by Hollywood’s phoniness – many people are only too willing to claim that they have met her in order to make themselves seem more important. And Simone’s apparent unwillingness (in reality, “her” inability) to meet with members of the press only adds to the public fascination with her. As happened to Dr. Frankenstein (who was also named Viktor) or the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Viktor Taransky’s creation takes over.

Viktor rationalizes his deception as just one small step beyond current practice (“Most actors have digital work done to them!”) and decries Hollywood’s “irrational allegiance to flesh and blood.” According to him, “the only real truth is the work.”

It is great fun to see Pacino do farce and the movie has some deliciously sharp satire. Told that a star is willing to do all her own stunts, including a fall from a plane, a studio executive says, “Shoot it the last day.” A radio news broadcast announces that no one is paying attention to world affairs because the Oscar nominations are out. It goes on a little long, but it is one of the better comedies of the summer.

Parents should know that the theme of the movie is lying, and while Viktor suffers for his lies, he pretty much gets away with them. Characters drink and smoke. And the movie has the “Parent Trap” problem of reuniting divorced parents, which may be a difficult subject for some families.

Families who see this movie should talk about how it compares to traditional stories about liars like “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” and “Pinocchio.” And they should talk about how performances by “live” actors compare to those of digitally created characters in movies like “Toy Story” and “Shrek.” Do you think there will be a day when movie stars are created by computer? (By the way, Simone is indeed played by a real-life actress, model Rachel Roberts.)

Families who enjoy this movie will enjoy other Hollywood satires like Steve Martin’s Bowfinger and Woody Allen’s Hollywood Ending. They may also want to try Tootsie. And everyone should see the all-time classic Singin’ in the Rain.