What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:17 am

D
Lowest Recommended Age: Mature High Schooler
Profanity: Strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs: Drinking and smoking
Violence/ Scariness: Comic peril
Diversity Issues: Multi-racial cast, stereotyped gay character
Date Released to Theaters: 2001

This movie has a terrific cast and some very funny moments. But there is an overall slackness and an underlying cynicism that takes this outside of the category of mindless fun and makes it uncomfortably distasteful.

Martin Lawrence plays a thief named Kevin who falls in love with a pretty English anthropologist named Amber (Carmen Ejogo). She gives him a lucky ring that once belonged to her father. He and a pal named Berger (John Leguizamo) break into what they think is the deserted vacation home of Max (Danny De Vito), only to find that Max is there, having an assignation with Miss September. Max captures Kevin and calls the police. When they arrest Kevin, Max sees the ring and tells the police that it is his. They believe him, and make Kevin give Max the ring. Kevin spends the rest of the movie trying to get revenge – and trying to get the ring back, too.

The movie’s underlying premise is that everyone is a thief and that the only difference between the businessman, the politician, the lawyer, and the man who steals is that at least the professional thief is honest about what he does. Some people, like Donald Westlake, the author of the book that inspired this movie, can make that premise seem wickedly delicious. But screenwriter and director Sam Weisman, remove the satiric twists to make it into a star vehicle for Lawrence and the result lacks any sense of dramatic build-up. Instead of two wily adversaries, it is so one-sided in favor of Lawrence’s character that any narrative arc evaporates. It’s just a string of skits.

That might be all right – some of the skits are pretty funny and I don’t insist on logic or political correctness or even trivial consistencies in a movie. But there is something unsettling about the underlying assumptions here, especially the smug self-righteousness of the thieves (including Max). Ask us to believe that Kevin is a crook and the hero of the movie, and we can accept it. But it is a little harder to accept that his girlfriend is an educated, loyal, devoted person who is happy to be a “perky” waitress and wait up nights for Kevin to come home from a hard night of packing other people’s things into his bag of loot. The mincing gay detective and the evil businessman who uses Yiddish and his long-suffering lawyer and mistress are tired stereotypes. And too much simply does not make sense. The last scene in particular is nothing more than a chance to put Lawrence in a huge Afro and pretend that everyone is living happily ever after.

Parents should know that the movie includes drinking, smoking, swearing, and sexual references and situations. A woman has sex with a man who does her a favor, and this is shown as charming and even romantic. The stereotypes mentioned above will make many families uncomfortable.

Families who see this movie should talk about the idea that everyone is a thief of one kind or another, and what they think would be a fair resolution.

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy some of Lawrence’s other movies, like “Big Momma’s House” and “Bad Boys” (both for more mature audiences).

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A River Runs Through It

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:17 am

B+
Lowest Recommended Age: Middle School
Profanity: Mild
Alcohol/ Drugs: Paul has a drinking problem
Violence/ Scariness: Mostly off-screen
Diversity Issues: Paul brings a half-Cheyenne date into a bar that does not permit Indians
Date Released to Theaters: 1992

Writer Norman Maclean’s autobiographical story of growing up in Montana with his brother Paul begins, “In our family, there was no clear line between religion and fly-fishing.”

Their Presbyterian minister father taught Norman and his brother Paul schoolwork, religion, and fishing as though they were all one subject. He was strict and thorough in all of those lessons. Reverand Mclean believed that no one who did not know how to fish properly should be permitted to disgrace a fish by catching it. He used a metronome to time their four-count stroke between the positions of ten o’clock and two o’clock.

Norman, though more sober, loved the wild streak in Paul that made him “tougher than any man alive” but feared that it would destroy him. And it did. While Norman becomes a professor of English literature and falls in love with Jessie Burns (Emily Lloyd), Paul becomes a reporter and gets into trouble drinking and gambling. Norman is called by the police to get Paul out of jail, and ultimately, he is called again when Paul is killed.

One of the tragic realizations of growing up is that you can love someone without being able to understand or save them. Like Norman, Jessie has a brother who is self-destructive, though his part of the story is played more for comedy. In today’s terms, Jessie’s mother would be considered an enabler because she does not impose any limits on her son, and does not insist that he recognize the consequences of his behavior.

Parents should know that the movie has some mature material, including family tragedy, alcohol abuse, a sexual situation (nudity), and prostitutes. A Native American woman is insulted by bigots.

Families who see this movie should discuss what they would do in Norman’s position. What would you have said to Paul? When? Why didn’t Norman say those things? If you were Jessie, what would you say to Neal? Why was it important to have Neal’s story in the movie? What does Norman mean when he says that his father saw no difference between religion and flyfishing?

Director Redford also addresses the theme of loving families who do not communicate pain well, with one member of the family suffering the consequences in two other movies, “Ordinary People” and “Quiz Show.”

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Black Knight

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:17 am

C+
Lowest Recommended Age: Mature High Schooler
Profanity: Strong language for a PG-13
Alcohol/ Drugs: None
Violence/ Scariness: Sword and arrow battles (characters injured and killed), beheading, fist fights
Diversity Issues: A theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters: 2001

Martin Lawrence is a very funny guy who is usually a lot better than the movies around him, which tend to play as though half the script reads, “Martin enters and does funny things.” This time, the material comes a little closer to his talents, in a story inspired by Mark Twain’s “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court.”

Lawrence plays Jamal, an employee of a run-down medieval theme park who is vastly more attentive to brushing his teeth than he is to anything relating to his job. When a rival theme park called Castle World moves to his neighborhood, he tells his boss that it is time for her to sell out and retire. She tries to explain that she has a commitment to creating good jobs in the community, but he does not understand.

Then, grabbing for a mysterious amulet while cleaning the moat, he falls into the water and comes up in a lake. The people he meets are so authentically medieval in dress and speech that he thinks he must have landed at Castle World. But it turns out that he has somehow landed in 1328, in the court of a usurper king who has mistaken him for a Moorish messenger sent by a Duke.

Lawrence gets to show various kinds of astonishment at the odd world of the medieval folks (They behead people! And they have awful bathrooms!), and they get to show various kinds of astonishment at his behavior (of course he has to be asked by the king to show off his riding and dancing skills). He gets interested in a pretty chambermaid who is a part of a conspiracy to bring back the real queen. And the daughter of the usurper king goes after Martin, especially after he teaches her some new kissing techniques. It’s a classic comedy set-up that could easily have starred any movie comedian skilled in pratfalls, from Buster Keaton to Jerry Lewis to Jim Carrey.

There is a lot of slapstick, a little romance, fights with swords, arrows, and a couple with fists, and it all moves along pretty painlessly, helped by some good gags and Lawrence’s facility with physical comedy.

Parents should know that the movie has very strong language for a PG-13, including a slightly obscured four-letter word that normally would get an R-rating. In addition to the violence mentioned above (mostly comic and bloodless, but with real injuries and deaths), there is a beheading. There are a number of sexual references and situations, including a discussion of “French” kissing, characters making sounds so that people nearby will think they are having sex, and a man who has sex with a woman because he thinks she is a different woman. Minority and female characters are smart and brave (though not always seen that way by others).

Families who see this movie might like to see some of the other versions of this story, including one starring Whoopi Goldberg called A Knight in Camelot.

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Captain January

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:17 am

B+
Lowest Recommended Age: Kindergarten - 3rd Grade
Profanity: None
Alcohol/ Drugs: None
Violence/ Scariness: Very sad when Star is taken away from Cap.
Diversity Issues: Miss Morgan is intolerant of Star's unusual home environment.
Date Released to Theaters: 1936

Plot: Star (Shirley Temple), an orphan, lives with Captain January (Guy Kibbee), a retired sailor who runs a lighthouse. They adore each other, and she loves her life there, with the large community of sailors as her extended family and “Cap” to take care of her and teach her. A meddlesome and jealous woman, Agatha Morgan (Sara Haden) tries to prove that Cap is not a suitable guardian for Star, and that she should be in school, but when she is tested, her performance is well ahead of her grade level.

When the lighthouse is automated, Cap loses his job, and this gives Miss Morgan another chance to take Star away. To keep her from Miss Morgan, Cap’s friend Captain Nazro (Slim Somerville) tracks down Star’s wealthy relatives, who come to get her. They do everything they can to make her happy, finally realizing that she cannot be happy without the people who have become her real family. They bring Cap, Nazro, and her other special friends to be the crew for their new boat so they can be together.

Discussion: This is one of Shirley Temple’s best movies, and it provides an opportunity to discuss some of the most sensitive issues facing some children. Children who are home schooled will appreciate seeing the success of Shirley’s home schooling with Cap. And children who are in foster homes or have had to face custody issues may appreciate the opportunity to discuss Shirley’s situation as a way of addressing their own.

When Shirley is taken away from Cap, she says, “Why are they taking me away from you? What have I done?” This is a good chance to talk with children about how many kids mistakenly blame themselves for the problems that are created by the grown-ups around them. Star sings a song about how all that matters is “the right someone to love,” and imagines what it would be like to be Cap’s nanny. She says that he needs her to take care of him. Children need to know that it can be fun to pretend to be the caretaker, but that it is the grown-up’s responsibility to take care of the child. The movie also depicts the difficulty of finding work, especially after a job has been made obsolete.

Warning: this is a “happily ever after” movie, and children whose own situation make it difficult to watch an ending that ties everything up too neatly may have a hard time with it.

Questions for Kids:

· Why does Paul try to get Mary to “bend the rules” for Star’s test, and why won’t she do it?

· How can you tell that Cap and Nazro are friends, even though they insult each other and argue?

· How does Star notice that Cap is sad?

· Nazro does not give Cap two important pieces of information — what are they, and why doesn’t he tell Cap?

· Star and Cap both give reasons they are glad to leave the lighthouse — do you believe them? Why do they do that?

· Nazro says that children “forget quick.” Is that right?

Connections: Television fans with sharp eyes will recognize Buddy Ebsen (of “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Barnaby Jones”) as Star’s friend Paul, who dances with her to “At the Codfish Ball.”

Activities: Children might like to visit a lighthouse or a museum exhibit showing the way they used to operate before the automation portrayed in the movie. They might also like to learn something about the opera Shirley pretends to be in, “Lucia de Lammermor;” the public library may have a recording you can borrow. Cap and Nazro pay pinochle, which children might like to learn. And they might like to make up a story, as Star does so well in her test at school.

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Coyote Ugly

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:17 am

C+
Lowest Recommended Age: Mature High Schooler
Profanity: Some strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs: Scenes in bar, a lot of drinking, pride in drinking
Violence/ Scariness: Some scuffles and punches, character injured by a car off-camera
Diversity Issues: Some people will find the movie sexist -- others will find it empowering
Date Released to Theaters: 2000

The people behind “Flashdance” have delivered another movie with about the same level of believabilty, but with little less flash and a lot less dance. You won’t see much more dance on screen than you do in the commericals. There are no full-fledged dance numbers, just snippets of glorious long legs stomping on the bar and glimpses of glorious upper bodies as the girls hose down the paying customers. And fair warning up front — the delectable Tyra Banks appears as a Coyote bartender very briefly before going off to finish law school(!).

“Flashdance” gave us, unforgettably, the steel welder who wanted to be a ballerina and made extra money doing elaborate postmodern erotic dances in a working class bar in Pittsburgh. “Coyote Ugly” gives us a pizza waitress from New Jersey who wants to make it as a songwriter in the big city. She is too shy to sing her songs in public, so of course she gets a job that requires her to be an exhibitionist, in the working class bar of the title, famous for its glorious bartenders and the way they display their glory. Think “Cocktail” starring the Spice Girls.

Coyote Ugly is owned by Lil (Mario Bello), who has a tough exterior but (surprise!) a heart of gold. She tells our heroine, Violet (Piper Perabo) that the bar is successful because men have two-year-olds in their pants, and she knows how to keep the two-year-olds happy. The girls are supposed to appear available but not be available and make the customers crazy but not too crazy. For this reason, the film-makers and some audience members have decided that the movie is not sexist — it is empowering.

Violet must, of course, conquer her stage fright and get a darling boyfriend with a dark secret (the adorable Adam Garcia, another in this summer’s series of handome Aussies). She has to try to make up with her adored father (John Goodman in yet another brilliant performance). He is disappointed in her and embarrassed about what she is doing. And Violet has to try to make it as a songwriter when no one wants to listen to the songs she composes on the roof of her picturesque but working-class apartment building. Despite all these challenges, somehow it all comes together in the end.

Parents should know that the movie has sexual references and situations, but pretty mild by PG-13 standards. There are a number of jokes about the girls’ sexual availability but no evidence that they engage in casual sex. Drinking, even drinking to excess, is handled lightheartedly, and drinking hard liquor is considered a sign of strength. Violet does something of a strip tease for her beau, ostensibly to make him nervous, which makes no sense, but then it didn’t make any sense when Jennifer Beals removed her bra without taking off her sweatshirt in “Flashdance,” either, and no one complained about that.

Families who see this movie should talk about the way that Violet adopts what she thinks was her late mother’s weakness, possibly as a way of keeping her close by being like her or from some notion of not betraying her by being able to do what she could not. They might want to talk about Violet’s somewhat one-sided relationship with Kevin. She shows very little interest in his life or willingness to support him, and she decides that he is unfaithful on very flimsy evidence. Families should also talk about the demeaning way that the girls in the bar see men’s view of women and the ways that women convey sexuality and availability and the problems that can occur if you don’t have huge bouncers on hand, as they do at the bar.

Families who enjoy this movie will also like “Flashdance” (though note that it has more mature material than this one does).

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