Analyze That

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:18 am

Robert DeNiro loves comedy. Who knew?

After decades as America’s most respected dramatic actor, DeNiro discovered that he enjoyed making people laugh in “Analyze This,” where he tweaked his most famous roles to create mob boss Paul Vitti, who was in therapy with psychiatrist Ben Sobel (Billy Crystal). In a typical therapy session, Sobel would suggest that Vitti was not used to hearing the word “no,” and Vitti would respond that he often heard people say, “No! Don’t kill me!”

In the sequel, “Analyze That,” Vitti pretends to be crazy in order to get out of jail (it is worth the price of admission to see him stand on a prison dining table belting out a ballad from “West Side Story”), and he is released into the custody of Dr. Sobel. After some unfortunate attempts at a job that does not involve any felonies, he ends up as an expert advisor to a “Sopranos”-like television show. Meanwhile, he has to figure out how to survive a war between two rival mob families.

There are some slow patches, and Lisa Kudrow as Sobel’s wife is badly misused. The plot doesn’t go anywhere and the attempt to make the pretentious producer of the television show funny does not work at all. But it is sheer joy to see DeNiro give everything he’s got (which is plenty) to the pure pleasure of comic madness, and every time he comes on screen, the movie takes off like a rocket. There is also a special pleasure for fans of “Raging Bull” in seeing DeNiro onscreen with the woman who played Vicki LaMotta, Cathy Moriarty. They still have great chemistry. It is fun to see the talented Anthony LaPaglia, who usually plays Italian-Americans in movies like “Frank Nitti” and “The Client,” using his original Australian accent. And be sure to stay for the outtakes at the end. I know they have become a clichÃ©, but these are worth the wait.

Parents should know that the movie has very strong language (lots of f-words) and a lot of violence. It may be comic, but it is bloody and in some cases fatal. There are also sexual references and situations, including adultery, some graphic.

Families who see this movie should talk about what determines whether people can change. And they should discuss the way that both Vitti and Sobel are still so tied up in (and by) what their fathers thought of them. If you were going to write a third movie about these characters, what would you have them do?

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy “Analyze This” and “Married to the Mob.”

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Andre

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:18 am

“Plot: A shy little girl from Maine makes friends with a seal in this fact-based story about a seal that swam from Boston to Maine every summer for 24 years. Toni (Tina Majorino) is more comfortable with animals than with kids. Her father, Harry (Keith Carridine), is not very responsible, but he has a real gift for animals, and his wife manages to cope with the chaos and be “”the only grown-up in the house.””

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Eight Legged Freaks

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:18 am

“Eight Legged Freaks” is essentially a cheesy 1950’s sci-fi drive-in movie with un-cheesy special effects. There’s no sense of irony and not much of a sense of humor. Instead, it has a rather sweet sense of pleasure in its own conventions, a sure sense of pacing, and some very impressive huge spiders. And I guess we found out where that surprising hyphen came from in “Spider-Man.” It’s missing from the title of this movie, which makes it appear to be about eight creatures with legs.

These are not Peter Parker’s spiders. They don’t give you super powers – they eat you. Remember in “Annie Hall” when Woody Allen told Diane Keaton that the spider in her bathtub was the size of a Buick? These are even bigger, more like the size of an SUV.

It’s all the fault of that old movie standby, “chemicals.” A small Arizona town is on the verge of going under, about to vote to sell the entire place for what the mayor says is a highway. But he has bad teeth and icky hair and is mean to his stepson, so don’t believe him. Chris (David Arquette), the son of the man who owned the now-abandoned mine, has come back after 10 years, hoping to realize his father’s dream of tapping into a gold vein and his own dream of finally telling the girl he loves (Kari Wuhrer as Sam), now the town sheriff, how he feels.

The plot is very simple, more computer game than story, but really a classic re-creation of movies like “The Blob” and “World Without End.” A chemical spill and some undisclosed toxic waste transform an entire zoo of 200 exotic spiders into huge, hungry monsters. Then the spiders chase the people, catching many of them. At first, no one believes it, then they run away, try to hide, and then fight back.

Parents should know that, despite the smart-alecky title, this movie is not a comedy like “Evolution” (okay, that was more of an attempted comedy) and does not temper the scariness with attitude, like “Men in Black.” It is a straight-out scarefest, and right up to the farthest edges of the PG-13 rating, with very explicit and gross violence and a lot of jump-out-at-you surprises. Characters are killed and eaten. In addition, a character chain-smokes, there is some alcohol, and some strong language. There is a reference to a teen pregnancy and to adultery. A teen-age girl is extremely clear about not being ready to have sex, despite pressure from a boy she likes very much, but parents may be concerned about her use of a stun gun to make her point. The female characters are tough and brave. One of the main characters is black, and although he is portrayed as a little paranoid and crazy, he is also brave and loyal.

Families who watch this movie should talk about the different kinds of spiders, which are actually fascinating creatures who benefit humans by eating mosquitoes. They might want to do some research here.

Families who enjoy this movie will enjoy Arachnophobia and Tremors.

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The Country Bears

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:18 am

Less story than product placement, “The Country Bears” may go down in history as the first movie ever based on a theme park attraction. I hope it goes down as the last. Much as I enjoy the ride, I don’t want to see “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Movie”* or “The Tiki Room Birds on Broadway.”

Disney World’s robot bear performances may just have a better plot than this movie, which is basically “The Blues Brothers” with fur. Yes, it’s the old story about getting the band back together.

The movie begins with some wit and style – a wood-burning credit sequence and “Behind the Music”-style clips about the beloved band’s rise and fall. Their last series of concerts was called the “Hiber-Nation” tour.

But then it disintegrates into a dumb story about a bear adopted by humans (voice of Haley Joel Osment as “Beary”) who runs away from home because he feels different. The Country Bears Hall is about to be torn down by wicked Reed Thimple (Christopher Walken). Beary decides that the only way to raise the money to keep it standing is to get the band back together. That sets up the rest of the movie as we meet up with a series of indistinguishable bears and watch Beary remind them of what they used to mean to each other.

Some surprising guest appearances by Elton John, Willie Nelson, Bonnie Raitt, Don Henley, and Queen Latifah (Raitt and Henley contribute singing voices) and some lively musical numbers by Disney label artists provide bright spots. But the in-between doses of silliness and syrup just dragged. The kids in the audience loved the scene with the policemen caught in the car wash, though.

Parents should know that although the movie is rated G and has none of the usual parental concerns, they should be sensitive to some of the issues in the movie that may trouble children. Beary runs away, and his parents are frantic about his safety, but he does not let them know where he is and does not seem to miss them for most of the movie. Beary’s human parents don’t tell him the truth about his adoption. He is told about his origins very cruelly by his jealous brother. Some parents will regret having their children see a character “play” music on his armpit if it sparks some attempts at imitation.

Families who see this movie should talk about how everyone feels different from the rest of the world at times, and how we make connections with those who are and who are not like us.

Families who enjoy this movie will enjoy The Muppet Movie and The Muppets Take Manhattan.

*I was kidding when I wrote this, but it turns out that a Pirates of the Caribbean movie did happen and, as you may know, it was terrific..

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Abandon

Posted on December 13, 2002 at 5:18 am

Given the talent involved, it really is almost impressive how bad “Abandon” is.

The movie is written by Stephen Gaghan, who last won an Oscar for “Traffic” and here makes his directing debut. The direction is poor, and the screenplay is awful. Cinematographer Matthew Libatique, whose work in “Requiem for a Dream” was brilliantly innovative, manages to make Katie Holmes and Benjamin Bratt look so unattractive they should consider a defamation lawsuit.

Holmes plays a brilliant and beautiful college senior who seems to have everything. She aces an interview with McKinsey, the brass ring of employers. But she is having problems completing her thesis and she has trouble sleeping. And when a detective shows up asking questions about her boyfriend, who disappeared two years earlier, it brings back painful memories and deepens her sense of loss. The detective (Benjamin Bratt) is facing his own challenges, taking on his first case after returning from alcohol rehab.

This is one of those movies that depends heavily on bonehead plot twists in which people behave inconsistently and idiotically, including that oldest of movie plots — characters showing up alone in eerie and isolated locations for assignations with potential murderers. There are many shadowy hallways, crumbling walls, and dripping pipes. There are gratuitous scenes of college kids at a debauched party (a throwback to Gaghan’s scene of teenagers taking drugs in “Traffic”) and of Holmes changing her clothes. The missing boyfriend is supposed to be talented, arrogant, and electrifyingly seductive, but the flashback scenes of their encounters are clumsily handled. The surprise ending is telegraphed halfway through the movie.

Parents should know that the movie shows a girl’s decision to lose her virginity and her unrealistic expectations about the relationship. There are overheard sounds of a couple having sex. Characters casually drink and use drugs. One intoxicated character is so happy that she says she wishes she could always feel so “connected.” Another character struggles with alcoholism.

Families who see this movie should talk about the jealousy some characters feel. What are “problem people?” Do they choose to be (or not be) “problem people?” What does the title refer to? What do you think about the job interview scene? If you were asked to solve a problem in an interview, how would you respond? What were the students’ concerns about “selling out?”

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy better performances by Holmes in “The Ice Storm” and “Wonder Boys” and a better college-based mystery, “DOA.”

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