Woody Allen has repackaged characters, themes, and even jokes from his best movies in this soggy and lackluster trifle about a young comedy writer stuck in various relationships.

This time, Allen has turned over the lead (essentially, the Woody Allen role) to American Pie’s Jason Biggs as Jerry Falk, with Christina Ricci as the alluring but maddening “can’t live with ’em; can’t figure out how to set some limits” love interest, Amanda.

Jerry cannot untangle himself from his inept agent (Danny DeVito), who takes twice the normal commission and is inexplicably attached to garment district metaphors; his analyst, a traditional Freudian who never interacts with him or offers advice; and Amanda, an unending source of agonizing announcements to torture Jerry, from her mother moving in to just not being able to have sex with him.

From Manhattan we have the Woody character in a solid, nurturing relationship but drawn to the neurotic and complicated woman his friend is dating. From Stardust Memories we have the attraction to a woman whose narcissism and instability will create great misery for him. And from Annie Hall we have the joke that sums up all romantic relationships, the non-linear, story-telling, the poignant attempt to replay the wished-for relationship, the offer of cocaine, and the New York/LA contest. But instead of ringing new changes on these themes, he just repeats them off-kilter. The result is like a fax of an oil painting.

Allen still has a way with a wisecrack and he knows how to wring laughter from agony, but nothing ever goes anywhere; he of all people should know the importance of a punchline.

Ricci has shown herself to be a brilliant comic actress in The Opposite of Sex and Addams Family Values but here she says her lines as though she’s afraid she might miss a word. In Annie Hall we fell in love with Annie as much as Alvy did, but Amanda never seems anything but self-obsessed, and unpleasant. DeVito gropes to find a comic vibe for a one-note character. Allen appears as Jerry’s mentor, a sesquipadalian teacher who smashes up the car of two huge guys who take his parking spot and who insists that Jerry keep a loaded rifle in his apartment. Please, Woody, it’s time for anything else.

Parents should know that the movie has explicit sexual references and situations and very strong language. Characters drink, smoke, and use cocaine and prescription drugs. There is comic violence and a discussion about guns.

Famillies who see this movie should talk about why it was hard for Jerry to say no to the people in his life and whether it will be different in the future. What should he have done differently?

Families who enjoy this movie will enjoy Allen’s far better movies, including the ones listed above and Sleeper.

If it was just that it was dumb, really, I would not be so annoyed with “Cold Creek Manor.” After all, most “don’t go into the house”-style thrillers have their dumb plot contrivances, like “Anyone who says ‘I’ll be right back’ isn’t coming back.” But the one thing it is fair to expect from a thriller is that it should not be boring, and that’s why this movie is so bad.

Director Mike Figgis (Leaving Las Vegas) shows no understanding whatsoever of the power of film to create suspense. He relies almost entirely on the corniest ominous music cues to signal that something bad is about to happen. When the reaction of the characters is so far in excess of the reaction of the audience, the response is not to gasp, but to laugh.

Cold Creek Manor is the beautiful ruin of a country mansion bought by harried New Yorkers in search of simplicity and serenity. Like the house, the family is not as uncomplicated as it appears on the surface with their breakfast-making dad (Dennis Quaid as Cooper Tilson), briefcase-toting mom (Sharon Stone as wife Leah) and magazine model son and daughter. Both the house and the family have disturbing undertones and in thriller morality tale terms that means that suffering lies ahead.

Dale Massey (Stephen Dorff), who grew up in the house and lost it when the bank foreclosed, shows up one day and asks the Tilsons for a job restoring the house. Despite the fact that he shows up in Cooper’s study looking through things without, say, ringing the doorbell, and despite the fact that he tells them he just got out of jail and lights up a joint after dinner, they agree to hire him.

But then (long pause to indicate other-than-suspenseful meandering toward this point) creepy things start happening. Who could possibly be doing this? What are the roles of the town slut (Juliette Lewis) and town sheriff, who happen to be sisters, and of the mean old guy living in the nursing home? The real suspense is whether we will ever get to the end of this movie.

Once we do, we’re even sorrier. Let me just say that when the good guys run into Cold Creek Manor and lock the door, only they are surprised when that does not leave them as protected as they thought.

It’s a shame that Sharon Stone picked this as her comeback vehicle. Both she and Quaid deserve a lot better. So do we.

Parents should know that the movie includes poisonous snakes, instense peril, and some graphic violence and creepy images. A character (apparently with an alcohol problem) drinks and drives. There are sexual references (including adultery) and sexual situations. Characters use very strong language. Characters describe killing animals and there is a reference to killing children.

Families who see this movie should talk about why Leah and Cooper felt differently about Dale at first, and about the impact on Dale of his father’s behavior.

Families who see this movie and are fans of over-the-top thrillers will also enjoy Jessica Lange and Gwenyth Paltrow in Hush and camp classics like Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte.

Imagine West Side Story with vampires and lycans (wolfmen) instead of Sharks and Jets and guns, blades, and teeth piercing necks instead of musical numbers, then dress them all in Matrix-inspired goth-bondage attire and you’ll have “Underworld,” a pulpy, punk-ish story filled with runes and ruins.

This is the kind of movie where characters with names like Craven say things like “But what about the Covenant?” and the exposition explanation begins in the 5th century, dust is blown from the cover of weighty medieval tomes, and huge heavy chains hang down for no particular reason.

The action begins before we know which side we’re on, with a stylish subway shoot-out. It turns out that there has been a centuries-long war between the vampires and the lycan. Now the lycan are very interested in a human doctor named Michael (Scott Speedman) and the vampires want to know why.

Michael is rescued by Selene (Kate Beckinsale), and he rescues her in return. She is ordered to kill him. But he did save her life. And he is kind of cute. And you can tell they are meant for each other because while everyone else in the movie has slicked-back hair, Michael’s and Selene’s hair falls adorably over their eyes.

If this movie doesn’t quite rise to the category of silly fun, it is a tolerable comic book-style time-waster with some stylistic flair and some energetic action sequences.

Parents should know that the movie has extensive and graphic violence. There is a reference to “misegenation” and adulteration of bloodlines. Characters drink and smoke and use strong language.

Families who see this movie should talk about how centuries-old conflicts can be resolved in a way that feels fair to all sides.

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy The Matrix and Blade.

It’s a little ironic that a movie about the importance of being different is so derivative of other ethnic comedies, such a sitcom-ish would-be “Son of My Big Fat Greek Wedding Only This Time About Gay Italians in Canada.”

There are some funny and even touching moments in this story of the gay son of a loving but suffocating Italian family. The problem is that it is such an over-the-top ethnic caricature, everyone constantly screaming or eating or both at once, while waving their hands and slapping family members on the back of the head.

Travel agency employee and would-be-writer Angelo (Luke Kirby) lives with his parents because in his community, “we leave the house one of two ways, married or dead.” Angelo is gay, but does not feel that he can tell anyone. He says he feels that every day he loses bits and pieces of himself.

He insists on moving into an apartment. Then, when he reconnects with his best childhood friend Nino (Peter Miller), now a gorgeous cop, they become lovers and roommates. Angelo would be completely happy except that while Nino insists that no one can know about their relationship, Angelo wants to let his parents know who he really is.

The result is an uneven mix of wild farce and coming out story. Kirby’s doe eyes are appealing and we want Angelo to find love and acceptance. But it is all too derivative and formulaic to seem as authentic as the story deserves. In the movie, someone tells Angelo what all aspiring writers need to hear — that he should write about what he knows instead of about what he thinks is exciting or marketable. The people behind this movie should have listened to that advice.

Parents should know that the movie has strong language, drinking and prescription drug abuse, a brief shot of a dead body in a casket, and explicit sexual references and non-graphic situations.

Families who see this movie should talk about whether it is all right for anyone, even members of a particular ethnic group, to caricature that group as much as this movie does. Why did Angelo have to be honest about himself before he could make his dreams of finding love and becoming a writer come true? They should talk about “active listening” and when it can be helpful. Why did Angelo’s family care so much about what other people would think?

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy Moonstruck and Outrageous.

Walter (Haley Joel Osment) is dumped on the unwelcoming front porch of his two great-uncles, Hub (Robert Duvall) and Garth (Michael Caine) by his flighty mother (Kyra Sedgewick) so she can go to school and learn how to be a court reporter. She tells him that they disappeared 40 years earlier and just mysteriously returned. The rumor is that they have money hidden away somewhere, and she tells Walter to see if he can find it.

Hub and Garth are not used to taking care of anyone. They tell Walter that if he needs anything he should find it himself or, better yet, do without it. Walter is not used to being taken care of. His mother has had a series of worthless or abusive boyfriends. When he calls the school to try to talk to her, he runs through a whole list of aliases before finding out that she has lied to him again and never even enrolled.

Duvall and Caine have such easy charm that they make this movie work, though it sags when anyone else is on screen, including the flashbacks of their adventures in Africa and Osment’s struggles to find his character and manage his adolescent voice.

Parents should know that the movie has “action violence,” cartoon-style and not graphic. There are some tense family issues and sad deaths.

Families who see this movie should talk about their own best advice for children about growing up and about the importance of having role models. They should also talk about Hub’s view that sometimes it is important to believe in things whether they are true or not.

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy Holes and Shirley Temple’s Captain January.