Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

Posted on February 23, 2010 at 6:00 pm

Vampires are everywhere these days. There are the Romeo and Juliet-style stories of Twilight and the steamier True Blood as well as the love triangle of the CW’s Vampire Diaries. And now there is “Cirque Du Freak,” based on the best-selling series of YA novels by Darren Shan, who shares his name with the title character.

I think it is because in this open-minded and permissive era it is hard to find a reason to keep an ordinary romantic couple apart. In the old days, parental disapproval, not having enough money, or societies’ strictures could fuel an entire movie until the happily-ever after ending. But these days it is difficult to create narrative tension to keep a couple separate for 10 minutes, much less two hours. That may be great for society, but it is tough on story-tellers. And so in order to get transgressive, a bit of cross-species romance seasoned with the risk of death and the prospect of an unleashed id can make a story very captivating.

Teenager Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia) feels that his life is just fine. He gets good grades. Kids at school like him. His parents are proud of him. He has a life-long best friend named Steve (Josh Hutcherson of “Bridge to Terabithia”), who is restless and unhappy.

Darren does not want to admit that he also has his restless moments and is not always comfortable being what Steve calls “perfect boy.” Darren wants to make sure we understand that he is no longer close to a former friend who has become “a freak,” meaning that he does not dress like an ad for a soft drink. He is not sure that he will be satisfied with what his parents tell him is “the path to a happy, productive life: College! Job! Family! And one day, if you’re lucky, you’ll be yelling at a teenager of your own.”

And there’s Darren’s lifelong fascination with spiders, not studying them, more communing with them. Steve is obsessed with vampires and dreams of becoming one himself. They pick up a mysterious flier about a freak show and sneak out to see it. When Darren steals a poisonous spider and it bites Steve, Darren agrees to give up his life as a human to become the vampire’s assistant in exchange for the antidote.

It makes some changes to the story in the book series but it is true to the tone — a nice combination of teenage angst and outrageous grotesquery, with the implicit recognition that sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference. Massoglia and Hutcherson come across as bland at times, but then they are sharing the screen with a snake-boy and a lady who not only has a beard but is the mesmerizing Salma Hayek. The story can be exposition-heavy as it lays the foundation for the next episodes in the series by starting up a war between two vampire factions. But it benefits from small details around the edges that attest to the fully-realized world of the novels. It balances the scary moments with humor. And it has good guy and bad guy vampires, a rock music-loving snake boy (Patrick Fugit, one of the film’s highlights), a woman whose limbs regenerate, a super-tall guy who kind of looks like Edgar Allen Poe, and a world of freaks that knows how to make the Cirque feel like home.

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Based on a book Fantasy Horror

Step Brothers

Posted on December 1, 2008 at 8:00 am

I have an idea for a movie comedy. A writer-director has a couple of huge hits and so all the Hollywood studio hacks descend on him adoringly. “Give us your ideas,” they tell him, “Anything at all! We’ll make a deal.” So, just to get them to stop pestering him and perhaps also to make a payment on his new boat, he tosses out whatever pops into his head or pulls out some ideas he scribbled in a notebook back when he was in college and they write a big check and then they make the movies.
I promise, that would be a lot funnier than the result of one of those ideas, which is what we have in the latest from Will Ferrell and Judd Apatow. This one would have to sit in the oven for a couple more hours to be considered half-baked. Despite the success of “Superbad” and “Knocked Up,” every movie about a childish boy-man who occasionally bawls “I love you man!” to his best friend is not entertaining.
As Will Ferrell gets older, the characters he plays get mentally younger. Here he is a 40-year-old man who lives with his mother and acts like he is 5. When his mother gets married to a man who also has a 40-year-old son living at home (John C. Reilly) the two of them instantly hate each other, then become devoted friends. It’s like “The Brady Bunch” crossed with “My Fair Brady” and a little bit of “Breaking Bonaduce.” Except not as good. Ferrell and director Adam McKay founded the acclaimed “Funny or Die” website. On this movie, I vote “die.”
Buddy movies generally work best when the characters have distinct personalities that create contrast and conflict. They don’t have to be likable but they do have to have some reason to get us on their side. But here the two emotionally and intellectually childish step brothers are so similar and so unappealing that we may not root for the (actual) child bullies who taunt and torture them but we can certainly see their point.

(more…)

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Comedy
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