Interview: Travel With Kids

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 8:00 am

Robert Benchley famously said that there are two kinds of travel: first class and with children. But family trips are often among the most beloved memories and inspire many permanent family references, in-jokes, and traditions. The Travel With Kids series is a good way for parents and kids to plan their vacations. It has explored exciting destinations including Hawaii, Mexico, New York, the Caribbean and Paris, inviting families to travel with the Roberts family to faraway locales and learn about customs and cultures from around the world. The DVDs are a great resource for preparing kids and getting them excited about seeing new sights, trying new food, and learning about history, geography, and art.

Travel With Kids features money-saving tips, topical pop-up facts, advice for traveling with children and fun segments and it is entertaining to travel along with the Roberts family. I interviewed Carrie and Jeremy Roberts about how to make travel safe, comfortable, and interesting for kids.

What’s the best way to avoid “are we there yet”-itis?

Mom Says: It really depends on the ages of the kids. Give the kids a digital watch and tell them what time you will be there…then they can be in charge. If they are old enough you can give them a real watch and they can learn to tell time too. Also, give smaller landmarks along the way. For instance on a flight to Jamaica that crosses the U.S. then stops in Miami, you might say at 10a, we can look for the Mississippi River, at 12p, we land in Miami, at 1p we can watch the coast of Florida disappear and at 2p we can start looking for island in the Caribbean Sea. Give them a checklist of things to find. This works on smaller trips too. In the car you can make it more detailed…find a cactus, an orange truck, a Coca-Cola sign, snow, etc. Give them bonuses (trip money) for finding everything.

How do you get the kids excited about a destination that is new to them?

Mom Says: We talk about the place before we go. We go to the library or bookstore and get books about it. But we also figure out something that would be interesting about the place for kids and get books about that topic to take with us…like pirates in the Caribbean or knights in England. I also rent movies that were filmed in the destination and make a family movie night…we fix some foods from that destination too.

Dad Says: The amazing volume of popular culture now (that we didn’t have when growing up) that references history and other countries is huge. Harry Potter, A Night at the Museum, National Treasure, Indiana Jones. Any movies dealing in Knights, Pirates, Castles, Adventure, Treasure, WW2, Ancient Cities and Lost Tribes will sure to spark interest and allow the kids to play along on a trip. We also put music on their Mp3 players. Movie Theme songs like Harry Potter while on a train in England, or the entire Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack while on a boat in the islands is pretty cool (I’ve put on the ear buds listening to the Pirates soundtrack while on a small ship in the Bahamas where Pirates was filmed.. its fun!)

How can you help the kids cope with travel hassles like security checks and delays?

Mom Says: Prepare the kids ahead of time. Tell them what they will need to do and that it is busy and people are in a hurry. When you get to the front of the line remind them again. But don’t worry too much, most security agents are very patient with the kids and help them out and even kid around with them while you are trying to get all your stuff done. One thing I might suggest is that kids wear slip-off shoes in the airport…Crocs are good. Because un-tying and re-tying shoes can get stressful when you are in a hurry, especially if you have one that wants to do everything themselves.

Dad Says: Let’s face it. Parts of traveling these days just aren’t that fun and there’s not much you can do about it. Sometimes it’s actually good for the kids to deal with these issues for themselves and not always find some easy way around it. A Gameboy or other diversion can’t fix every situation. They have to rush through the security line and be bumped and hurried and unload their pockets and take off their shoes just like everyone else. Of course for small kids in strollers, this isn’t a lesson teaching time, but for the older kids, it’s some real world experience that can help them listen and behave better. Especially when it’s a TSA security guard barking orders at them, they snap to attention faster than when mom or dad is telling them what to do. As for delays in the airport, again, there’s not much you can do, so they have to learn to deal with everything not being perfect (another benefit of traveling and teaching kids.) However, we do recommend always getting travel insurance in case you really get stuck. Travel insurance will pay for hotels and food when delayed or stranded. This helps with the stress factor for mom and dad.

What do you recommend for helping kids create memories through journals or scrapbooks?

Mom Says: Thanks to the Internet this is easier than ever. I am a big believer in having the kids document their trips. Our kids are young and they already have a digital camera. You’ll be amazed at some of the perspectives they take on things. The other nice thing about digital cameras is you can erase the ones they don’t want. When you are on the road, you can go to Internet cafÃ©s and upload your pictures to a place like Shutterfly.com – have them printed and ready for your return home or make a scrapbook online. Michael’s also has a great scrapbooking section and offers workshops on how to create the look you want. Do this with your kids and it’s a great opportunity to keep the bonding from your trip going once you get back home.

Dad Says: Digital cameras and memory cards are so cheap these days – it’s definitely worth the expense Also, if your child is missing school, a teacher may give credit if they put together a presentation on the country for the class using the pictures and stories. Cheap-o digital cameras, and notebooks so they can draw out the cools stuff they see if fun, and creates great memories. Please remember to upload your memory card to yourself during your trip. Go to any internet cafÃ© and setup and Shutterfly or similar account and upload your photos. I lost our small digital camera in Mexico at the end of the trip with 350 pictures on it. Those can never be replaced. Bring your camera’s USB cable on your trip to do the upload.

How do you get kids comfortable with trying new kinds of food?

Mom Says: Lie. Just kidding. We do have a sort of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tel” policy though…if they don’t ask, we don’t tell. For instance, when we were in the Everglades, we ordered frog legs and just kind of dug in saying things like “Mom says it tastes like chicken”. The kids ate them thinking they were chicken and thought it was pretty funny when we told them it was frogs. But, this could backfire if you have a sensitive kid; they may decide to try nothing once you pull a stunt like that, so it really depends on the kids. We try to encourage the kids to at least try one bite of everything. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to eat anymore.

Dad Says: This is a hard one. We find meal times with to be the most “difficult” on our trips, just like at home! It doesn’t matter if we are cooking for ourselves in an apartment rental, or at a fancy beachfront place or a local cooked meal in a hut on the sand. They still don’t eat their dinner or sit at the table. We use the usual incentives and bribes. I figure they won’t be eating only chicken nuggets and cheese crisps when they’re 18, but sometimes I’m not sure. When on vacation, it is a vacation, so we let rules slide, and luckily pizza and chicken nuggets are the universal food found anywhere in the world.

What’s the best way to get them excited about cathedrals, museums, and other tourist attractions?

Mom Says: Kids get it. Lots of people think kids are too young to get a lot of traveling, but you will be amazed what they get. Before we get to an attraction I read up on the history and then translate it into their terms…re-telling it on their level and emphasizing the parts that will be interesting to them is important. In large museums, I look online to find their most famous exhibits and print out pictures of them. When we get there, I give the kids the pictures and we have a sort of treasure hunt through the museum.

Dad Says: Lots of museums nowadays have Kid Audio Tours…some even take it so far as to have cartoon characters as part of the Audio presentation that virtually lead the kids through the museum. Again, the popular culture really sparks their interest. They have seen the talking “dum dum” head from A Night at the Museum film, walked the ramparts of Fort Charles in Port Royal where Jack Sparrow roams, sped up the elevator of the Eiffel Tower like Lois Lane in Superman II. Cities with iconic images; Paris, London, New York, never get boring for kids.

What’s the best ages for children for family travel?

Mom Says: There’s no right age…all ages bring something different to the table. Babies are easy and cheap…you don’t have to pay for airline tickets and you don’t have to chase them all around. Toddlers are a bit more of a challenge, but seeing your two-year-old’s face light up when they see something for the first time is worth every ounce of frustration spent along the way. Grade schoolers are great because they have the foundation of some history and geography so they can learn right along with you and you’ll be amazed at what they end up teaching you. Teenagers…well…they’re teenagers, but get them out of their element and you may get the chance to actually talk to them.

Dad Says: I’m always amazed at the amount of people who say “I’ll take my kids traveling when they’re older… they won’t remember anything now.” We don’t see how that really matters. Our kids remember everything. Will they remember it all when they are 30? Probably not. However now, when it matters and for many years to come, they will remember all the places they went and, more importantly, all the times spent with mom and dad. Just mom and dad. No work, no phones, no email, no blackberry. The point is, a 6 year old will remember the family time spent well into their teens on some incredible adventure trip. Sure, it will start to fade as they get older (If you’re 35 do you really remember a trip you took when you were 12, other than the photos?) Our 5-year-old still talks about the things he did and experiences he had 2 years ago. The impact it has on them now is immeasurable. Why forego this magical time for kids when castles are actually castles, and pirate forts come to life for them and everything is funny and exciting and adventuresome. Sure it’s more convenient for the parent to head out with older kids, but older kids tend to have their Ipods on, texting in hand and not to happy that their not playing video games with their friends back home. Please take this time to enjoy the perfect (and imperfect) years of traveling with kids when they are full of imagination and awe… even if you have to put up with tantrums and getting takeout McDonald’s in Paris and going back to the room to see SpongeBob. When you watch them as they first lay eyes on the Eiffel Tower, It’s worth it.

Interview: Matthew Goode

Posted on August 5, 2008 at 10:00 am

Matthew Goode was in Washington to talk about his role in the new version of “Brideshead Revisited,” on his way to Comic-Con to talk about his next role in “The Watchmen.” He pointed out that while they are very different in theme and tone, both are based on books that appeared on “top 100” lists of the 20th century. Goode, one of the friendliest people I have ever met, talked to me about “re-visiting” Brideshead following the award-winning BBC miniseries version that many thought of as the definitive version. By necessity shorter and sharper, this version is more explicitly focused on the relationship between Goode’s character, Charles Ryder, and Sebastian and Jula Flyte, the children of a wealthy Catholic family who live in the magnificent estate called Brideshead.

What were some of the concerns you had about taking on this role?

Ryder is almost mute in this in some respects. He observes and reacts much of the time. One of my slight trepidations when I finally saw the adaptation we were going to do, was the way we had to truncate the story down as opposed to the original which is practically verbatim. When setting out to do the role I wasn’t thinking, “Well, I have to do something different from Jeremy Irons.” It’s a different cast, a different script, a different time. Yes, we’re both middle-classy, tall, thin, streaks of piss playing the same part. But this is a different take on it. Jeremy Brock did a tremendous job adapting the book. It is told via this future voice of Charles, a voice that’s been let down by life, struggling to grapple with his relationships. He still doesn’t understand what love is, where does he fit in. My way into him was to peel back those layers of his psyche. He may be the loneliest person that’s ever lived on the planet, particularly with our version.

Is there a different emphasis in this version, which necessarily has to pare down or even excerpt the novel?

The focus here is more on ambiguity of his sexuality, his faith, and how much of a social climber Charles was, how he was looking for a place where he could fit in and feel at home. We had to eliminate some things and bring the character of Julia in earlier, too. We got permission from the Waugh estate. It has to be done; you only have two hours.

What is the connection between Charles and his friend Sebastian, who first takes him to Brideshead?

The only time Sebastian was happy at Brideshead was with Charles. That idyllic summer is his real childhood. It’s the only place Charles has ever been happy, too, It’s not about class; it is about being accepted. Sebastian is definitively gay, that is more directly portrayed. Sebastian is a petulant drunk. His unhappiness, like Charles’, is as much about bad parenting as anything.

Like the miniseries, the movie was filmed on location at Castle Howard. What are some of the differences?

I like our version of Rex more. If you take out the buffoonery, he wins. We see that Charles is a sponge for life and art, and any kind of belonging, the way he is looking for a place for himself, what drew Charles, Sebastian, and Julia together. They have comparable loveless childhoods, apart form the faith and class.

How do you handle the aging of your character in a story that stretches over so much time?

It’s nice that I’m in the intermediary point of being 30 and can just about pass for 20. As Charles gets older you slow down the rhythm and he becomes a bit colder. You don’t age things like the salute because even when he is older he is still trying to fit in, still picking up mannerisms from those around him. He doesn’t snap to, he doesn’t keep the thumb down, as he might if he was expressing his own personality. That’s the element to Charles. It’s not social climbing — it’s fitting in. But he’s liked by everyone. You wouldn’t have that if there wasn’t something sparkly in his eyes.

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Interview: Christine Frisbee on Healthy Siblings of Disabled Kids

Posted on July 30, 2008 at 8:00 am

The healthy siblings of disabled or sick children are often “the forgotten ones” as understandably pre-occupied parents devote their attention to the child whose needs seem most pressing. Author Christine Frisbee lets these siblings tell their own stories in Day By Day, Children tell their journeys of faith and determination living with a sick sister or brother. The book shows how siblings of seriously ill or challenged children can learn to embrace the challenges of their exceptional situation, ultimately allowing them to transform into strong, spiritual, and caring people and gives parents some resources for making sure that these children do not feel neglected or guilty. I interviewed Ms. Frisbee via email.

What can parents do to make the sibling who is not disabled feel that he or she deserves time and attention?

Although it is easy to think that everyone in the family is adjusted to having a sick child in the family, often the siblings are quietly coping. The reason they are quiet is because they do not want to make the issues worse or make their parents feel more overwhelmed than they sometimes can.

Therefore the best thing to do is to talk about the sibling’s feelings and make sure that they know you, as a parent, have their best interests at stake too. Spend separate time with the children who are not disabled and tell them you appreciate their patience and help every day. Explain that just because you need to give so much attention to the disabled child does not mean that you care about them any less, but that you admire and respect their help and love.

Is “Survivor Guilt” a problem?

It is a fact that survivor guilt is a big problem in families. Children are very happy that they are not the one to have the disability or serious illness, but with that said, they also feel very guilty that they are the one who continues with a more normal life. Neither child understands why illness came to one of them and not the other.

Do the siblings sometimes act out to get more attention? Do they wish they were sick or disabled?

It is extremely common for siblings to act out when they have a sick sister or brother. They sometimes do not realize how much they are misbehaving. Often they know they are acting out and continue because they are angry about the misbalance of attention within the family. When they see their sick sibling getting more attention they wonder if it is worth it to have something happen to them so they get more attention, compassion and gifts from friends and relatives who want the sick child to feel better.

Interview: Tannishtha Chatterjee and Sarah Gavron of ‘Brick Lane’

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 10:00 am

Sarah Gavron is the director and Tannishtha Chatterjee is the star of the new British film “Brick Lane,” based on the best-selling novel by Monica Ali. While the book covers three decades in the life of its heroine Nazneen, a Bangladeshi girl who comes to London for an arranged marriage, the movie shows us just one transitional year. I spoke with Gavron and Chatterjee in Washington D.C.

In the US, everyone but the Native Americans is very aware of his connection to the immigrant experience, though that does not necessarily translate into being welcoming of newcomers. How is it different in the UK, which had a very homogeneous and colonialist way of looking at the world for so long?

SG: London is now a fascinating place to live because it has so many cultures, even if you’re a born and bred Londoner, you’re growing up around people who have been displaced, so you get it once removed. Sometimes you have to wait quite a long time to hear English being spoken.

Naznnen is homesick for much of the movie and yet when she has a chance to go back, she does not. Why not?

TC: There is an image she has of Bangladesh, but that Bangladesh is gone, it’s changed. The image they have in their minds is not what it was.

Do women and men find different challenges in navigating a path between assimilation and identity?

TC: In certain ways yes, especially women like Nazneen who are homemakers and don’t have an outlet outside their home or make friends through work or get to know the culture from outside. Creating a home is a bit claustrophobic because they don’t connect to anyone outside. Men in some ways have a connection but in other ways face the harsh reality of the outer world, and feel more like an outsider. Nazneen does not even know their world.

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Interview with Robert Gotlin about Raising Fit Kids

Posted on July 24, 2008 at 8:00 am

Do kids today get less exercise than their parents did? Why?

If I told you kids are playing more sports than their parents did yet they are in worse shape and exercising less, you may look at me as if I have two heads. The truth is, kids are participating in more sport-hours than their parents did, however, the majority of the time spent, playing “team” sports, and is anything but a true “exercise workout.” Just see for yourself. Go and watch a Little league baseball practice…a lot of “standing around” out there. When our parents had free time, it wasn’t standing around and watching on a Little League practice field, rather, it was a trip to the park for a day of playing ALL sports with their friends, and there was not a coach anywhere to be found. The day was all about constant motion.

What are the biggest impediments kids and parents face that make it harder to adopt a healthy lifestyle?

Kids are faced with too many options. There’s the recreational basketball program, then there’s the CYO league, the travel program, the AAU. There are time management issues where everyday can be filled with another team practice, school work suffers, overuse injuries occur, and let’s not forget pressure from mom and/or dad, reminding everyone in an ear’s distance that “their” little six year old indeed is the next Derek Jeter. The pressures facing these young athletes can be overwhelming.

And couple this with many families who nowadays, have two working parents…possibly one parent with two or three different jobs. The family “together-time’ suffers. And when family time suffers, so does the healthy lifestyle concept suffer.

Should all kids play some kind of sport? What are the factors to consider in selecting the right sport for a child?

Every child need NOT play a sport. Every child needs to be physically active and every child needs to be placed in a situation where he/she can succeed. “Success breeds confidence and confidence breeds success.” When a child engages in an activity he/she cannot succeed in, the simple solution is to move on and try something else. Many sports or physical activities offer different benefits, whether it is the martial arts for the hyperactive child or football for the overweight child. And for the child who simply is not an athlete, the “back to the future” mentality works best; a family walk, a game of tag, or simply a day in the park will do fine. One of the key points to consider is whether your child fits best into the TEAM or INDIVIDUAL sport model. This decision needs to be an “unbiased” one and not driven by mom or dad’s own preference.

What do parents need to know to make their communications with coaches and PE teachers most effective?

Communication, communication, communication…I can’t emphasize this enough. Parents should be proactive in assuring the environment for their child is safe and secure. Parents, on the other hand, should not attend a child’s basketball practice to offer their on the court expert opinion. That’s why there is a coach.

The more experienced and more qualified coaches will deliver an outline of their coaching philosophies, expectations, and demands early in the process. This affords the opportunity for Q&A and can eliminate conflict down the road. Offering constructive advice almost always assures mom or dad a seat near the bench. This may be accomplished by organizing a team fund raiser, offering to assist with transportation, or merely letting the coach know you are available if he/she should require assistance with any operational issues.

What can we tell children to minimize injuries and speed recovery?

We can tell kids almost anything to help them minimize and recover from injury. Unfortunately, they only hear a fraction of that which we’ve told them. The most important preventative is to eliminate “horse-play.” In most, if not all, published studies on youth sports injuries, horse-play is the #1 culprit. Rules must be set and kids must understand the implications if the rules are broken.

How do particular foods help or impede optimal athletic performance?

The best advice a clinician, author, or educator can give with reference to food choice is to “eat a well-balanced” diet. Children rarely need to “be on a diet.” Children simply need to eat a well-balanced diet. It is fairly common knowledge that consumption of excessive “sugary” foods can lead to hyperactivity and obesity, an epidemic effecting 50% of today’s younger population.

What are the most important ways to encourage kids to participate in sports?
We really cannot “encourage” a child to participate in a any particular sport, unless there is a desire to do so on their part. This is why it is critical for parents and care-givers to select opportunities for the child for which he/she not only likes, but one in which they have a realistic chance to achieve success at. Understanding that sometimes one never knows the ability a child has at a given sport until he/she tries, the experience must always be viewed in a “positive” manner as the ultimate decision for participation will be the child’s.

What are the most common questions parents have about fitness for kids?
Interestingly, for many questions parents ask, they already know the answer. When a parent asks whether their child can return to play even though the ankle sprain is still causing a limp, their lead line is almost always, “it’s only a minor sprain, he should be ready to play today, don’t you think?”

Some of the other facts are:
Yes, children as young as seven or eight can weight-train so long as there is adult supervision.
Your child needs to drink approximately 2/3 glass of fluid for every one hour they engage in strenuous physical activity.
Yes, children DO need to stretch. Their growing bones tend to increase stress on the supportive ligaments so stretching is essential for a child, more so than for an adult.

What can parents do to encourage schools to promote fitness for kids?
Parents MUST get involved. Join the PTA, sit on committees, and volunteer to assist. Many schools are academically loaded and unfortunately, this has limited physical education classes to almost “none” in many regions. This is not acceptable. Study after study support greater academic success achieved in children who are more physically active and who exercise regularly. Parents must pressure the local school boards to maintain the Presidents Council on Physical Fitness and Sports recommendation for physical activity in young children to occur on “most” days of the week for at least 30-45 minutes/day.

How can kids with learning or physical disabilities get the most from fitness programs?

Learning disabilities should in no way alter or adversely influence a child’s potential for achieving optimal physical fitness. Programs simply need to be structured so that the “challenged” child is afforded an opportunity to achieve success.

What’s your favorite sports movie for families?

Two,
Rudy …everyone deserves a chance
Miracle …never say never

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