Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde

Posted on June 30, 2003 at 7:13 pm

B+
Lowest Recommended Age: Mature High Schooler
Profanity: Some naughty words
Alcohol/ Drugs: Social drinking
Violence/ Scariness: None
Diversity Issues: Most major characters white, strong women characters
Date Released to Theaters: 2003

Reese Witherspoon is still enchanting, but “Legally Blonde 2” suffers from sequel-itis. That happens when the movie studio wants badly to repeat the success of an original, but the happily-ever-after ending of the first one leaves very little room for further developments, so they just repeat the original. In this case, that even means repeating some of the same jokes.

In the first movie, sorority president Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) discovered that she had a brain. The fun of the movie for the audience was having our cupcake and respecting her, too. That was possible because we got to enjoy her adorable bubble-headed (but sweet-natured) reaction to very serious Harvard Law School and then see her triumph by being both nicer and smarter than anyone else. That triumph included professional and romantic happy endings. Now what?

Well, it starts by taking some of that happiness away from her, which is okay, but it also takes away some of the character development, too, leaving Elle an inconsistent and ultimately uncomfortable combination of silly and smart.

How’s this for a premise? Elle hires a detective to find the biological mother of her dog, Bruiser, so she can invite Bruiser’s family to the wedding. She finds out that his mother is in a lab for testing cosmetics on animals. When she urges her law firm to oppose the use of animal-testing in cosmetics (the movie is careful to stay away from the issue of animal testing for medication), she is fired. So, Elle moves to Washington determined to get legislation passed (“Bruiser’s Law”) freeing Bruiser’s mother and all of the other lab animals.

It’s really more of a series of skits than a story, but as long as you don’t care whether it goes anywhere, some of the skits are cute enough, thanks to Witherspoon’s precision timing and ravishing smile. The movie makes the most of Witherspoon’s talents, but wastes the considerable potential of Sally Field, Bob Newhart, Dana Ivey, and Regina King.

Parents should know that the movie has some sexual references, including a brief appearance by a stereotyped gay character and a plot development involving gay dogs. There is some strong language.

Families who see this movie should talk about what makes Elle change her mind about her final speech and how a a bill becomes a law (the movie has the details right on the hopper and the discharge petition). Some family members may want to know more about the issue of animal testing (or campaign finance). And it is worth talking about how Elle uses not just persistance and charm but facts and creative ideas to persuade people to support her idea. Families might want to consider having a snaps cup.

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy the original and the delightful “Born Yesterday” with Judy Holliday, another movie about a blonde who takes on Washington. They should also see “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” briefly viewed in this movie, starring Jimmy Stewart.

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Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

Posted on June 27, 2003 at 7:29 pm

B+
Lowest Recommended Age: Kindergarten - 3rd Grade
Profanity: None
Alcohol/ Drugs: None
Violence/ Scariness: Characters face peril, an innocent character faces threat of execution
Diversity Issues: Strong female and minority characters
Date Released to Theaters: 2003

This is a swashbuckling romp of a movie, which –- with a couple of clever plot tweaks and some jaw-dropping animation -—exceeds the low expectations you might have for the hundredth remake of the Sinbad legend. Is this a great movie? No. Does it compare to Dreamwork’s uber-mega-hit, “Shrek”, in fun and intelligence? No again. But with a bag of popcorn and an open mind, this flick will provide a fine family summer getaway on the open seas.

And what seas they are! Dreamworks, the studio responsible for such hits as “Antz” (1998) and “Shrek” (2001), have taken three years to make this movie, combining three-dimensional computer generated images for the background with two-dimensional characters crossing swords and swinging from ropes in the foreground, to stunning effect. The oceans swirl and sparkle, light dances off waves, and you can almost smell the salt air as the ships pull out of port and the seagulls swoop overhead. For those who find that the subtleties of living creatures still elude the computer animation wizards – those who might have seen “Final Fantasy” (2001) or “The Hulk” (2003) without feeling any connection to the animated protagonists —- the presence of well-drawn (instead of generated) characters will be a welcome relief.

The characters themselves are cut from standard issue Disney-style cloth. There is the boyish hero, Sinbad (Brad Pitt), who learns he does have a conscience with the help of the wasp-waisted and fiercely independent Marina (Catherine Zeta Jones), with whom Sinbad shares verbal clashes that demand that there be a kiss before the movie ends. Sinbad’s crew includes loyal and wise First Mate, Kale, (Dennis Haysbert) as well as the usual rag-tag collection of colorful misfits who are quickly charmed by Marina. No animated movie these days would be complete without an animal side-kick, here in the form of a slobbering bulldog named Spike, who has more personality than half the crew combined.

The plot is more reminiscent of a Greek myth than a story from the Arabian Nights. The goddess of chaos, Eris (Michelle Pfeiffer) wants to remove the famed Book of Peace so that she can sow discord and ruin throughout the Twelve Cities. Sinbad and his crew are good-hearted pirates seeking adventure and fortune to realize their dream of retiring to the beaches of Fiji. When Sinbad attempts to steal the all-important Book in order to ransom it for his sandy paradise, he finds himself crossing swords with his childhood friend, Proteus (Joseph Fiennes). Eris frames Sinbad for the theft of the Book, leaving Proteus -– believing in his friend’s innocence -— to step in as Sinbad’s proxy in jail. Sinbad, with Proteus’ fiancé Marina as observer, must find a way to retrieve the Book within ten days or Proteus will be executed.

You might feel like you have been here before and in many ways you have. The fast pace, lovely animation and zingy dialogue will not distract you for long from noticing that there is little new or noteworthy in these 84 minutes of dazzle. However, there is a nice little message about friendship and duty here, which, teamed with ocean adventure, make this movie a sea-worthy vessel for the easy sailing of summer entertainment.

Parents should know that the characters are almost constantly in peril ranging from enormous snow-hawks to giant squid to sailing off the edge of the world. Very young children might be frightened by the threat of beheading and the masked executioner one character faces for a crime he did not commit.

Families who watch this movie should talk about the bond of friendship and what it means to believe in someone, even when they do not believe in themselves. Families might also discuss the different paths the characters choose to take and how the characters describe their choices.

Sinbad and Proteus were friends when they were young, does that mean that years later they still share a bond? Why does Sinbad tell Marina that he was lying about going back to Syracuse? Was he?

Families who enjoy this movie might consider hunting down a copy of “The 7th Voyage of Sinbad” (1958), a perennial Saturday afternoon UHF special which might be camp by today’s standards but which many parents will remember with nostalgia for its stop-action photography and vaunted skeleton-fight scene. For more dazzling animation in the swashbuckling vein, families might consider the overlooked “Treasure Planet” (2002). Those interested in another story from the classic book “The Thousand and One Arabian Nights” should rent “Aladdin” (1992) which can barely contain the voice of Robin Williams who set a standard for animated voices that has yet to be exceeded. And every family should see the neglected gem, “Arabian Knight” (sometimes known as “The Thief and the Cobbler”). Finally, for those not already familiar with the work of writer/illustrator Herge, the creator of Tintin, the books “The Secret of the Unicorn” and “Red Rackham’s Treasure” are definitely worth reading.

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May

Posted on June 26, 2003 at 2:01 pm

B+
Lowest Recommended Age: Mature High Schooler
Profanity: Strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs: Some
Violence/ Scariness: Intense and graphic violence, characters murdered and mutilated
Diversity Issues: Disabled character teased by children, blind children
Date Released to Theaters: 2003

Already this film is being compared to Brian De Palma’s Carrie, which shares a strange, female, misfit protagonist’s decent into madness, and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. However, May is more original than the description makes it sound, as well as being possibly the scariest movie of the year.

Angela Bettis plays the title character, an awkward, shy girl whose obstructive mother makes her wear an eye patch to cover up her eye disorder. Friendless, May receives from her mother a doll that she made when she was younger, not to play with but to admire through a glass case. “If you can’t find a friend, make one,” says her mother. Needless to say, May grows up a discomfited, socially incompetent recluse who works with a veterinarian, and we see her mess up a relationship with a handsome man (Jeremy Sisto) whose quirks she takes the wrong way and get her heart broken by a sexy coworker (Anna Faris) who’d rather sleep with several partners than have a meaningful relationship. The last straw comes at an excruciatingly awful incident after she volunteers to work at a school for blind children. May has already been making her own clothes by sewing patches together, works with stitching and amputation with the vet, and we see her cracking with frustration as she cuts up some of her dolls and taking her fury out on her unresponsive cat, which she instinctively kills and saves in her freezer. If you can’t find a friend…you know where this is headed.

What’s remarkable about this movie is how scary it is even though the viewer knows what’s going to happen. I winced every time May told someone how much she admired a certain physical feature, as I knew exactly what was going to happen to each and every one of them. May pulls no punches, and all your worst fears will come true. On that note, this isn’t like Carrie where the viewer relates to the protagonist and is glad to see her tormentors go. Here May is genuinely creepy and you fear for the safety of those around her, who aren’t typically stupid horror movie victims but people who enjoy May’s strangeness and don’t understand just how mentally ill she is. May is less like Dr. Frankenstein, whose curiosity compels him to try to play God, than Ed Gein, the real-life hopeless outcast whose infamous desires to “make his own friends” inspired Psycho and The Silence of the Lambs, among others.

As hard as it is to pity May, it makes for an incredibly scary movie. The opening shot before a flashback is so horrific that it’s agonizing to wait for the story behind it, and the story, emotional intensity, and even some very black humor are perfectly executed, as are the terrifying shots of everything from someone getting stabbed with scissors to May’s motionless doll, which makes some of the Puppet Master toys look like Toy Story. The all-newcomer cast couldn’t be better, and I’ll be very interested to see what Bettis and first-time director/screenwriter Lucky McKee do next. Not to say that May is perfect, as a closer look reveals that it raises a few questions it doesn’t answer, and it does get a little gratuitous. Still, you won’t be thinking about that when you’re getting the hell scared out of you.

This film is rated R for some graphic violence, as well as some foul language and some sexless innuendo.

People who like this movie should try the aforementioned Carrie, and Silence of the Lambs, Psycho, and Frankenstein. Todd Solondz’s more recent Welcome to the Dollhouse is a similarly dark and deeply upsetting — albeit nonviolent — look at a young, female misfit. Movie buffs may want to revisit probably the most famous (as well as one of the best) films about a lonely misfit taking vengeance on the surrounding world, Taxi Driver.

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Buffalo Soldiers

Posted on June 26, 2003 at 1:58 pm

A-
Lowest Recommended Age: Mature High Schooler
Profanity: Very strong language, innumerable F-words
Alcohol/ Drugs: A lot of alcohol and drugs, heroin dealing
Violence/ Scariness: Explosions, fighting, graphic violence
Diversity Issues: Some racial tensions
Date Released to Theaters: 2003

A lot of people are going to have problems with Buffalo Soldiers because of the timing. It was written and filmed before we went to war. Now, when it is so important to support American troops and when we all want badly to believe in the integrity and ability of our troops, it is unsettling to see a darkly satiric film about the armed services. Removed from the current context, Buffalo Soldiers could be better appreciated as a sharp and clever movie.

Buffalo Soldiers stars Joaquin Phoenix, who stole scenes from lead actors in big films like Gladiator and Signs, has finally gotten a lead role, and one that is worthy of his talents. He plays Ray Elwood, an amoral but surprisingly likeable conscript in the US Military in West Germany right before the fall of the Berlin wall. He holds a position as a battalion secretary to Commander Wallace Berman, (Ed Harris) a kind, insecure, inept, and endlessly pitiable man who is taken advantage of by everyone from Elwood to his wife, (Elizabeth McGovern) who ignores her husband and doesn’t try to hide the fact she’s sleeping with Elwood.

More out of boredom than anything else, Elwood uses his powers to run black market deals, from selling army supplies to the locals to cooking heroin for the men on the base. Top sergeant Robert Lee (Scott Glenn, as perfect as a crisply ironed dress shirt) comes into the picture wanting to clean things up. Soon matters escalate between the two; Lee destroys Elwood’s room and sets him up with a geeky roommate (Gabriel Mann), Elwood starts dating (and soon falls for) Lee’s rebellious daughter Robyn (Anna Paquin), Lee orders the men to take target practice on Elwood’s new car, and it only gets worse.

Recent war movies have centered on combat, like Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down. This focuses on small intersecting stories (Stoned soldiers raiding a small town in a tank and leaving two trucks of arms in Elwood’s hands, Commander Berman discovering he’s related to a Civil War general, recurring themes of falling and fire, and much, much more). Considering all the sequels and remakes that are slated for summer release, Buffalo Soldiers is a great breath of fresh air. Note that it is definitely not for all tastes; some viewers will be offended by it and others will debate over whether it is a comedy or a tragedy. It’s not surprising that this film has been fighting to get a theater release, but it is a provocative and original film that will entertain, offend, and challenge audiences, and be debated for years.

Something interesting to think about is why we as an audience like Elwood. He lies, he betrays (although he explains why) he steals, and he does it all just because he can. Perhaps he is just the most likeable character in a movie filled with unpleasant people, or maybe it’s just that he’s the only one with feelings that we can relate to, as he loves, fears, mourns, and learns to take even bigger risks, while someone like Sergeant Lee feels none of this, and Commander Berman lets people walk all over him. Maybe it’s just that Phoenix can get away with so much as he charms his way through the part, though he’s pushed hard to rise to the occasion in a flawless supporting cast that includes Paquin, Glenn, Harris, McGovern, Mann, Dean Stockwell, and Leon, who needs more good roles.

Parents should know that this film has been rated R for strong graphic violence, strong language, and drug use.

People who enjoy this film should try M*A*S*H*, Catch-22, and the more recent Three Kings. They might also like some earlier movies about soldiers who work (and work around) the system like Captain Newman, M.D..

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Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle

Posted on June 26, 2003 at 5:02 am

A-
Lowest Recommended Age: Mature High Schooler
Profanity: A few bad words, many double entendres
Alcohol/ Drugs: Brief social drinking
Violence/ Scariness: Non-stop action violence, characters in peril, bad guys killed
Diversity Issues: Diverse characters are strong, brave, and capable
Date Released to Theaters: 2003

The silly summer explosions and kick-boxing movie of 2003 has arrived.

It’s pretty much the same movie as the first one, except more of everything, and this movie has a lot of everything to have more of. More lovely heads shaking lovely hair in slow-mo as the Angels run away from more explosions. More lovely legs kicking more bad guys. More cheesy 70’s pop songs and more references to other movies to show that they may not be smart or classy, but they’re self-aware and don’t take themselves seriously. More middle-school-style naughty jokes (the name Helen Zass sets off a series of tushie humor). More crazy get-ups (I know! Let’s make them dress up like nuns! And strippers!). More surprise guest stars — including one of the original Angels. More dancing. More modes of transportation, including a heliocopter, motorcross bikes, a thing that looks like a luge on wheels, and a very big truck. More booty shaking. More booty kicking. More booty. And more more Moore — Demi Moore strutting around in a bikini as an Angel gone bad.

The only thing there’s less of is plot, and does anyone who goes to this movie really care about that? Certainly no one who made the movie did.

The three Angels are all back: Dylan (producer Drew Barrymore), Alex (Lucy Liu), and Natalie (Cameron Diaz), and they are still happily taking orders from Charlie via speakerphone. There’s a new Bosley, though — Bernie Mac, a most welcome replacement for Bill Murray.

We begin in a Mongolian bar with a fast tribute to “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (and “Urban Cowboy” and “Risky Business”) as our heroines rescue a federal marshal (“Terminator 2’s” Robert Patrick). They are then sent in to retrieve two rings containing the names of people in the witness protection program, taking time out to move Natalie in with her boyfriend (Luke Wilson), and taking time out from that to dance to Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This.”

Dylan, Alex, and Natalie behave as though they’re at a slumber party where the girls blow stuff up and perform on-the-spot forensic analyses without any equipment in between setting each other’s hair and short-sheeting each other’s beds. This gives a bouncy, buoyant, bubbly feel to the story that keeps the energy level high enough to sail through the silly dialogue and story. Moore is described as both having won the Nobel Prize for her scientific endeavors and mastering the Cosmopolitan Magazine bedside astrologer, and it is clear that this is the dream Angel, a sort of Marie Curie crossed with Barbie.

Parents are often distressed to observe their young daughters dressing their Barbies up like hookers and announcing that they are going to the office. After careful efforts to tell girls that they can be astronauts, doctors, chief executives, or even the President, it is disconcerting to see that, while the girls might want to have their dolls pursue these highly prestigious and worthwhile careers, they still want their dolls to wear glittery miniskirts while doing so. Movies like the “Charlie’s Angels” series recognize and tap into this dual fantasy.

Some families reject movies like these as sexist, but I believe a more thoughtful reaction appreciates that, while the main characters wear skimpy costumes, the women in those costumes are extraordinarily independent, capable, loyal, strong, honest, and highly educated.

The Angels are willing to take on any enemy of freedom or fairness without guns. Charlie is less their boss than their dispatcher, providing resources and opportunities for them. “Charlie’s Angels” is pop mind candy, and no one could call it a feminist ideal. But it is a mistake to dismiss its appeal as a portrayal of powerful women who are comfortable with themselves and love each other and who enjoy using all of their abilities as a force for good. If my middle-school or high-school-age daughter wanted to see it, rather than forbid it, I would use it to initiate a conversation about possible mixed messages our society sends young women and about the enduring attraction of those messages as well.

Problems include uninteresting villains and a dopey sidetrack as Alex’s boyfriend (Matt LeBlanc) and father (John Cleese) have a pointless misunderstanding about what Alex really does on the job. Yes, Demi Moore looks sensational as an Angel turned bad, but her performance is weak. Justin Theroux is also wasted as Dylan’s former boyfriend. Shia LeBeouf (“Holes”) is in the movie for no particular reason. But Crispin Glover returns for a few nicely creepy moments as the mute Thin Man who has a thing about hair.

Parents should know that the movie has non-stop “action violence,” meaning that it is not very graphic. A character is impaled and several characters are killed. There is a brief graphic scene of a calf birth. As in the first movie, the Angels do not use guns. Characters use some strong language and make some naughty double-entendres. Alex’s father believes she is a prostitute. Female and minority characters are brave, smart, loyal, and capable.

Families who see this movie should talk about how (and why) people create their own families.

Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy the original and the James Bond movies.

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