Crazy, Stupid, Love

Posted on July 29, 2011 at 9:55 am

This painful comedy about the agonies of love has some deftly observed moments and strong performances but its essential tawdriness overwhelms its efforts to be cuddly and life-affirming.

Everyone is miserably in love with the wrong person.  Steve Carell plays Cal, married for almost 25 years to his teenage sweetheart, Emily (Julianne Moore), who tells him in the opening scene that she wants a divorce.  Their 13-year-old son, Robbie (Jonah Bobo) is in love with their 17-year-old babysitter, Jessica (the heart-twistingly vulnerable Analeigh Tipton).  Jessica has a crush on Cal.  Emily slept with her co-worker, David (Kevin Bacon).  Cal goes to a bar to drown his sorrows and meets someone who is not miserable and not in love: Jacob (Ryan Gosling), who takes a different beautiful woman home from the bar every night.  Jacob tells Cal that he lost Emily because he lost his sense of what it means to be a man.  For Jacob, being a man means pitching the New Balance shoes and ill-fitting suits and manipulating women to have sex by pretending to listen to them.  Cal is soon channeling his inner playa, first seducing a teacher named Kate (Marisa Tomei in a thankless role) and then a series of montaged lovelies.  Meanwhile, Robbie is texting romantic pleas to Jessica and Jessica is following the advice of a classmate and taking nude photos of herself to give to Cal and Emily is dating David, whose role seems to be nice guy whose unfitness for love is demonstrated by everyone’s intended-to-be-funny-but-not-funny-at-all inability to pronounce his last name correctly.

Got that?  Then, just as Jacob’s method begins to work for Cal, it stops working for Jacob.  The one woman who turned him down is Hannah (Emma Stone), a recent law graduate studying for the bar exam. Circumstances lead her to return to the bar to proposition Jacob and back at his sleek bachelor pad something unprecedented happens — a night of real intimacy, talking and laughing. Now Jacob needs advice on his uncharted territory: how to be a part of a relationship that lasts more than 24 hours.

There’s an inexpressibly lovely moment as Emily calls Cal, not realizing he is right outside their house because he sneaks over at night to maintain the garden (metaphor alert).  She tells him she is in the basement trying to restart the pilot light but he can see she is upstairs and just needed an excuse to call.  And Stone continues to be one of the most endearingly honest, intelligent, and expressive performers on screen.  She shows us how the flurry of mixed emotions she feels that first night with Jacob flicker across her face as she tries to manage her feelings of confidence and fear, longing and logic.

But that is not enough to make up for the smarminess of the story’s assumptions and the characters’ behavior.  There’s an excruciating climactic scene in which two of the characters made humiliating public declarations that are intended to be gallant but come off as self-indulgent and completely inappropriate.  And other than Hannah, the characters are just not very nice.  Jessica keeps telling us she loves Cal because he is such a kind man and great father.  Not from what we see.  He shows little concern for what his children are going through with their parents’ separation or anything else they are going through.  He does not know who his son’s teacher is.  And he is awful to the women he sleeps with, which the movie seems to think is fine.  When one of them becomes angry at him because he never called her, she is portrayed as shrewish and unreasonable.  Jacob, whose only evidence of responsibility or being aware of anyone else’s needs or feelings is his decision to help Cal become a lady-killer, provides very little reason other than hotness for deserving Hannah’s love or making any effort to earn it.  The film is as callous toward the one-night-stands who get tossed aside as Jacob and Cal are.  There is no suggestion that someone should give them pointers on how to respect themselves enough not to fall for manipulative cads.  Even worse is the treatment of the Jessica/Robbie relationship.  She is, we are repeatedly told, 17.  Taking nude pictures of herself to give to a man is not just seriously bad judgment and a terrible signal to a prospective romantic partner but probably a crime.  Giving those pictures to a 13-year-old is portrayed in the film as an act of compassionate generosity when it is not just seriously bad judgment and a terrible mixed message but definitely a crime.  The movie is going for a wistful romanticism.  For me it was more like a pervy sociopathy.


Parents should know that themes of the movie include infidelity and womanizing.  There are explicit sexual references, a babysitter gives nude photos of herself to a young teen (presented favorably), sex with strangers portrayed as evidence of success and being attractive, there is a lot of drinking and bad decisions are made while intoxicated, and it includes strong and crude language.

Family discussion:  Why did Jacob decide to help Cal?  How did Cal help to change Jacob’s perspective?  How did Hannah’s refusal make her more interesting to Jacob and why didn’t the other women act that way?

If you like this, try: “Date Night” and “Friends with Benefits”

Related Tags:


Comedy Date movie Romance

18 Replies to “Crazy, Stupid, Love”



    I thought the scene near the end where the 17 year old girl gives those pictures to the 13 year old boy was mega sick and perverted. “Sexting” might be a result of modern morals and technology, but contributing to the delinquency of a minor is no laughing matter. I was fully expecting the pictures to be shown, but that they would turn out to be her fully dressed. That would have been a decent gesture.

    Also, what possible relationship could they have? He’ll be in 9th grade, while she’ll be far away at Stanford. I understand the crush that a 13 year old can have. When I was 12, I was in “puppy love” with a 17 year old high school girl, but it was just a phase I went through (maybe all boys do). However, the persistence (“obsession”) portrayed in the movie, should have resulted in the 17 year old girl telling him something like, “Buzz off junior! Enough already!”

    BTW, in the city where I live, a 19 year old woman seduced a 13 year old boy, and now she’s in prison, and will be a registered sex offender for life. For Hollywood to give a wink and a nod to such absolutely inappropriate behavior is abhorrent! Adults can handle such story lines easily, however I’m sure that there are impressionable teens who will see this movie and/or still maturing 20-Somethings who will think that it’s “cool”.

    1. Thanks so much for this comment, Philip! I was horrified by that part of the movie and by the way it was presented as a gracious and generous gesture instead of being exploitive and illegal. It saddens me very much to think that young women who see this film will think that the absence of self-respect and modesty is the way to get a boyfriend when it is quite the contrary.

  2. Thank you for this review. This movie was a total waste of a few of the actors and horribly acted by the rest. I was dumbfounded to see all the great reviews for this movie on rotten tomatoes. I can usually count on this site.

    1. Thanks, Gary. I am not sure why this film received such raves from normally reliable critics like Entertainment Weekly and Roger Ebert. I think everyone is just burned out on summer films and glad to see a movie about grown-ups that isn’t “Larry Crowne.”

  3. I like taking my youth group out to movies that are family friendly. This sounds like it is right up our alley. Thanks for the review! Can’t wait to see this!

    1. Lee, I’m not sure which film you are referring to. It can’t be “Crazy, Stupid, Love,” which did not recommend.

  4. I saw this movie today and im 14. I thought the parts with the boy were bad and i didnt like that part of the movie. The parts with steve ryan and emma were really good and its a funny and good movie.

    1. Thanks for writing, Sarah! I’m glad you liked the movie and glad you agree with me about the parts with the middle school boy.

  5. I absolutely loved this movie! I agree the scenes with Robbie and Jessica were maybe a little too sexual for a PG-13 movie, but there was something undeniable genuine about the movie. It was a romantic movie that felt real. The whole part at the end when Cal talks about how he was in love with Emily, but he didn’t know if it would always work, but he’d never give up trying… Now that’s some good stuff. And it was good to see Jacob finally stop his womanizing and settle for a good girl. I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy this! All of my friends and family loved it!

    1. Thanks, Connor — I’m always glad to hear from someone who finds more in a movie than I did. There are certainly many entertaining parts and I loved Emma Stone.

  6. I just stumbled across your website and can I just say that it’s nice to see a parent who takes their child’s viewing seriously.

    So many movies today portray bad behavior and morals as acceptable/encouragable.

    Most people would not let violent/sexually-degrading/rude people into our homes or our kids lives, yet they allow them into their kid’s mind through movies and tv.

    Well done on your reviews 🙂

  7. I thoroughly disagree with your review. It has got to be one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while! Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling are fantastic together and Julian Moore and Emma Stone add a perfect topping to the already amazing cast.
    Nowhere are they saying that the more inappropriate parts with the middle-school boy are okay. The whole point is that love is a messed-up thing, hence the title “Crazy, Stupid, Love”.
    I was in no way disturbed throughout the movie because I knew it was a movie and the reason I was there was to enjoy myself and laugh. I wasn’t there expecting a PG or G movie.
    There is a reason that the mostly reliable critics (Entertainment Weekly and Roger Ebert) gave it rave reviews. It was a very well-directed, well-acted and well-written movie.

    1. Thanks, Jeff! I’m always happy to hear from someone who sees more in a movie than I do, and I’m glad you enjoyed the film. I liked Carell, Stone, and Gosling and found much of it entertaining. But the skeeviness of the teenager’s nude photos and the treatment of the women the Gosling and Carell characters slept with made it impossible for me to agree with my esteemed colleagues and friends this time.

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