Guest Post from Tara Sonenshine on “Meet the Patels,” Marriage, Yom Kippur, and the Pope

Many thanks to Tara Sonenshine for this thoughtful commentary:

It’s Yom Kippur, The Pope is Arriving, and “Meet the Patels” is in Theaters….Let’s Celebrate “Tradition”

I am very glad to have met the Patels last night via the new film, “Meet the Patels” starring Indian-American actor, Ravi Patel, in a comedic documentary about a young man’s journey to find a wife, on his own, while his parents insist on providing him with an arranged marriage. With Ravi’s sister, Greeta Patel, filming the entire quest, the movie both entertains and inspires. For me, as a Jewish movie goer, the film reminded me of the similarities in cultures and religious traditions mixed with the generational divides that challenge all faiths.

Indian arranged marriages are not too dissimilar from old-fashioned Jewish “Shidachs” where a matchmaker pairs up the groom and bride based on criteria ranging from family background to physical characteristics as well as important considerations like money. The key is parental involvement—something eschewed by modern millennials. Like Jewish parents, the Patels are desperate for their grown children to marry and procreate, and they want Indian tradition to prevail. All that was missing in the movie was a “fiddler on the roof.”

The irony about tradition is that despite the predominance of modern technology, an Internet-driven society, and the notion that people can have “friends” without ever meeting them, there is still something special about being in the same room with those we want to know. Crowds will flock to see the Pope in Washington, Philadelphia, and New York City, even though they can get a better seat at home watching CNN. Our kids use speed dating—simply a scaled up version of what The Patels were offering with “biodata” and martial conventions where single people scope out the potential mates. In the end, there is nothing truly new about services like “Jewish Singles.com” or “Christian Mingle.com” or what The Patels had in mind.

So as Jews around the world celebrate “Yom Kippur,”—the Day of Atonement, and Catholics wave to the “Pope,” let’s toast traditions—may they last forever.

Tara Sonenshine is former under secretary of state for public diplomacy and public affairs.