The wise and witty Amy Dickenson of “Ask Amy” gets a letter from a blonde named Betty who is distraught that her boyfriend of 67 years is going to marry her rival, Veronica!
Amy has some good advice:

I want you to hold your head up high, go to that wedding and tell yourself that you are better off without him.

At the wedding reception (I’m sure it will be held at the Riverdale Country Club), if you have a few too many appletinis and decide to tell off Veronica once and for all, and maybe dance a little too close with Reggie or Jughead, so be it! You’re a free woman, Betty, and now’s your chance to stand up for all the Bettys everywhere!