Inside “Inside Out” — Takes on Pixar’s Hit Movie About Feelings

Inside “Inside Out” — Takes on Pixar’s Hit Movie About Feelings

Posted on July 6, 2015 at 3:35 pm

“Inside Out” is not just one of the best movies of the year (animated and live action). It is also one of the most psychologically profound and astute films about emotions and the mind ever made. It set the all-time box office opening weekend record for a non-series film and reached number one at the box office this week, out-doing two huge holiday weekend releases, “Terminator Genisys” and “Magic Mike XXL.”

Copyright 2015  Pixar
Copyright 2015 Pixar

And it has provoked some exceptionally thoughtful responses from movie critics and specialists in child development. My friend Jen Chaney wrote one for The Dissolve, tying the movie’s themes to other Pixar films that touch on the bittersweetness of the end of childhood, but explaining how this film takes it to a new depth.

According to Inside Out, the middle-school-girl brain is simultaneously orderly yet fragile, crowded with highly charged voices (some previously heard on NBC sitcoms, The Daily Show, and/or Saturday Night Live), and aesthetically similar to a pinball machine, a Lite-Brite, and multiple levels of Candy Crush. It’s rare in a children’s film—or for that matter, any film—to see elements of the human nervous system rendered with such exquisite care and unmitigated glee.

But the film’s point of view is more important than its plot, or its sophisticated view of the machinations behind Riley’s meltdown. For the first time, a Pixar film is confronting how much it hurts when a child realizes her childhood will end—while it’s still ending. It literally gets inside her head, then bluntly announces that being a kid hurts because it doesn’t last. That feels refreshingly candid, even for Pixar.

Dacher Keltner and Paul Ekmanhe, scientists who consulted on the film wrote about their experience for the New York Times.

he movie’s portrayal of sadness successfully dramatizes two central insights from the science of emotion.

First, emotions organize — rather than disrupt — rational thinking. Traditionally, in the history of Western thought, the prevailing view has been that emotions are enemies of rationality and disruptive of cooperative social relations….Second, emotions organize — rather than disrupt — our social lives. Studies have found, for example, that emotions structure (not just color) such disparate social interactions as attachment between parents and children, sibling conflicts, flirtations between young courters and negotiations between rivals.

They would have preferred that Sadness have a less dreary affect. And they note that they recommended many more emotions, but Pixar explained that they could not handle that many characters.

Dan Kois wrote more as a parent than a critic for Slate.

he emotional messages of most entertainment for kids are pretty relentlessly positive: Love your family, stay true to yourself, keep positive, never give in to despair. As the research of Stanford’s Jeanne Tsai has shown, one of the emotions that Americans in particular privilege is joy—excited pleasure. Children see around them, in books and movies and advertisements, exemplars of delight at growing up. “That makes it harder to grapple with sadness,” University of California, Berkeley psychology professor Dacher Keltner told me. “It’s a vacuum in our culture.”

But, points out Keltner, who consulted with Pixar’s Pete Docter on the film, sadness is a powerful tool, a trigger that sends kids back to their parents for comfort and connection. “You gotta hang on to that sadness,” he told me, because in the tumult of early adolescence, it’s the thing that can bring parent and child back together.

Over at Zero to Three, Claire Lerner echoes the importance of teaching kids to recognize their feelings and acknowledging them, pointing out the applicability of the insights in the film even to the youngest children.

Major kudos are due Pixar and Disney for elevating the importance of the emotional lives of children and providing a creative vehicle for helping kids learn to understand and manage their complex emotions. Most importantly, the film reminds parents that having a happy child does not mean your child must always be happy.

Young children are deeply feeling beings. Starting in the earliest months of life, well before they can use words to express themselves, babies have the capacity to experience peaks of joy, excitement, and elation. They also feel fear, grief, sadness, hopelessness, and anger—emotions that many adults understandably find it hard to believe that such young children can experience. But just as Riley in the film needs her parents to hear and empathize with her difficult feelings of pain and loss—which helps her move on in positive ways—so do babies and toddlers.

She concludes with some very practical recommendations for parents.

And be sure to listen to co-writer/director Pete Docter, who spoke about what was behind the film and the crucial moment that changed everything in an interview with “Fresh Air’s” Terry Gross.

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Critics Parenting Understanding Media and Pop Culture

More Problems with YouTube Kids

Posted on May 19, 2015 at 4:14 pm

The public interest and child advocacy groups that have charged Google and YouTube Kids with failing to meet their promise to screen videos and ensure that there is no material inappropriate for young children has come back to add new claims to the complaint they have filed with the FTC.

The complaint lists findings that the search function of the app provides children with access to a wide range of troubling content, such as:

Explicit sexual language presented amidst cartoon animation
Graphic adult discussions about family violence, pornography and child suicide
Jokes about pedophilia and drug use
Modeling of unsafe behaviors such as playing with lit matches
Advertising for alcohol products

Examples of videos accessible through the app and information about how to support the complaint are here.

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Internet, Gaming, Podcasts, and Apps Parenting Preschoolers

Google’s YouTube Kids is Saturated with Stealth Ads

Posted on April 11, 2015 at 3:37 pm

In February of this year, Google launched the YouTube Kids app, specially designed for “little thumbs” to get kids hooked on devices and videos as soon as they can hold an iPhone. They assured parents that the app was completely safe to use and that all content was family-friendly.

I support the policy of the pediatricians’ association of no screen time of any kind under age two and strictly limiting it thereafter, but I recognize that there are times when it can be handy to have a way to distract and entertain a child. And I can appreciate how important it is for parents to have some way to allow kids to get what’s best on the internet without the risk that a search for say, “dolls” or “spanking” will bring up something disturbing or inappropriate.

Unfortunately, Google and YouTube Kids have saturated the app with commercials, including channels devoted to brands like McDonalds, Barbie, Fisher Price, and LEGO. A detailed complaint filed by a coalition of public interest groups representing children and consumers calls on the Federal Trade Commission to give parents the same kinds of protections that they have imposed on television programming directed at children, requiring a bright line demarcation between advertising and programming, for example.

YouTube Kids is a long way from that now. Much of the advertising is “native” and completely integrated with the other content. While some ads on the app have disclaimers noting, for example “compensation provided by McDonald’s,” this is a problem in an app for kids, who are (1) too young to understand what “compensation provided” means, (2) too young to comprehend the difference between sponsored and un-sponsored content, and (3) TOO YOUNG TO READ.

I was quoted in this SFGate article about advertising on YouTube Kids. “Google has said they are curating material they guarantee is OK for children, so they have to do better than this.”

Google says that they need advertising in order to keep the app free for all families. I appreciate that. But, as they say, on the internet, if you’re not the paying customer, you’re the product. We should not be selling our children to advertisers, and Google should not be acting as broker.  Visit the FTC’s website to file a complaint.

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Advertising Internet, Gaming, Podcasts, and Apps Marketing to Kids Media Appearances Parenting Preschoolers

The Grandparent Effect: Superb New Resource for Families

Posted on March 16, 2015 at 3:51 pm

I am a huge fan of Olivia Gentile’s new website, The Grandparent Effect, a warm, wise, and highly informative resource for parents, grandparents, and caregivers. As she explains,

Grandparents are healthier, wealthier, and longer-lived than ever before.

What does this mean for us all?

On this site, I consider the growing importance of grandparents to their children and grandchildren.

I hope to entertain you.

And I hope to turn everything you thought you knew about grandparents upside down.

The site features all kinds of guidance and commentary, including the best picture books about grandparents and grandchildren and heartwarming thoughts by writer Lois Wyse on what it felt like when her first grandchild was born.  She reports on grandparents in the news, from Hillary Clinton’s #grandmothersknowbest hashtag in her tweet on vaccines to the grandpa who trucked in snow for his granddaughter to play with and the Congressman who is proud of his transgender grandchild.  And she welcomes the stories of families about their own experiences.

Olivia generously took time to answer my questions about what grandparents can give their grandchildren and about the challenges and conflicts in maintaining the relationship across three generations.

Olivia Gentile, photo by Deborah Copaken, copyright 2015
Olivia Gentile, photo by Deborah Copaken, copyright 2015

Where did the idea for the site come from?

My dad’s mother and both of my mom’s parents were hugely important to me, especially when I was a young adult.

My dad’s mom lived in Boston, so when I was growing up in Washington, D.C., she was a plane ride away. But I ended up at Harvard for college, and that’s when our relationship blossomed.

My college years were rough. Early on, I developed a horrible case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and it wasn’t properly diagnosed or treated until after I graduated.

I did try to get help during college, but no one at the campus health center seemed to know what to do with me. It was the early 1990s, and clinicians didn’t know nearly as much about OCD as they do now.

So I didn’t have a good psychiatrist, but I had my grandmother, who lived three T stops away from campus in an apartment building for senior citizens.

My grandmother didn’t really believe that there was anything wrong with me, so I didn’t discuss my problems much with her.

But she baked me wonderful lasagnas, took me downstairs to visit with her friends, and told me stories about the guy down the hall who had a crush on her. (It wasn’t requited.)

All that love helped me a lot.

And then, in my sophomore year, I began to realize that someone else in my family had a terrible case of anxiety: my mom’s father.

I’d only known my mom’s parents casually when I was growing up, even though they lived in Washington, too.

They were close to my mom, but I think by the time my sister and I came along, they weren’t too keen on spending time with screaming kids. And once we were more civilized, we got busy with school and friends.

But slowly, when I was in my early 20s and my grandfather was in his early 80s, he and I started opening up to each other about our respective problems. He probably had OCD, too, but his psychoanalyst, whom he’d been seeing daily for 40 years, called it “free-floating anxiety.”

It was such a relief to be able to talk to someone who understood what I was going through. And he had a great sense of humor about his anxiety and life in general.

Soon, he and my grandmother were two of the most important people in my life.

My dad’s mother, the one in Boston, died in 1997, a year after I finished college, but my mom’s parents both lived long enough to steer me through my 20s. My mom’s father died in 2005, at age 93, and her mother died in 2011, at 94.

I got the idea for The Grandparent Effect not long after that.

My grandparents had saved me. And I suspected that there were millions of people all over the country who’d been saved by their grandparents, too.

I wanted to tell my family’s story, and I wanted to collect stories from other families, too.

What are your most cherished memories of your grandparents?

My dad’s mother took me to Disney World twice when I was little, and I have vivid memories of the fun we had together, particularly on the rollercoaster Space Mountain.

My favorite memories of my mom’s parents are from my 20s. After college, I worked a newspaper reporter in New England, but I’d fly to Washington often to spend weekends with them, and we always had a blast.

They lived in Dupont Circle, so that’s where a lot of our adventures took place.

They really liked taking me to Restaurant Nora to eat fancy organic dinners. Other nights, we’d round up a bunch of my friends and take them to the Brickskeller, which served beer from around the world.

During the day, my grandmother and I would pop in to the Phillips Collection and Kramerbooks. And we’d always spend a little time at Secondi, a clothing consignment store. She had a great fashion sense, and she’d help me choose my work clothes and the dresses I needed for friends’ weddings.

Other times we’d just hang out at my grandparents’ house. My grandmother and I would read novels and the paper while my grandfather watched Court TV.

(more…)

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Interview Parenting

When Boredom Beats Mental Busywork

Posted on March 4, 2015 at 8:00 am

I love this tribute to boredom on car trips with children.  I well remember being in the back seat with my sisters, alternating games of GHOST and Botticelli with highway bingo and, yes, arguing with each other about who had to ride in the middle.  What will today’s children remember about family car trips?  Watching “Frozen” for the 17th time?  Playing video games?  Car trips can be tedious without media, but they can be the most precious family bonding time you will ever have.  And there is no greater gift you can give a child than the ability to be present in the world and find ways to use his or her imagination for entertainment.  And it is also good for them to learn that we watch movies to engage our minds, hearts, and spirits, not as a distraction from whatever is going on around us.

Antonia Malchick writes about her family’s device-free drive:

Even I was surprised by how well they adapted to the screen-free hours in the car. John took to drawing intricate pictures with hilarious narrative explanations. Alex tried to copy him, and then got bored and threw her stuffed dogs at him. He threw his stuffed Angry Birds back. They giggled and fought and stared out the windows a lot. And it wasn’t just them_I was noticeably more relaxed and calmer without constant access to Facebook; FOMO (“fear of missing out”) faded away and I got to pay attention to everything else I’d been missing out on.

South Dakota was hot, but it also has the Badlands, which they’ll remember instead of Caillou; they know that Illinois is where we passed wind farms and corn farms, not where they were playing Minecraft; that Billings, Montana, stinks of oil refinery and has approximately a million coal trains but it was also where_we only saw it because we were paying attention — we passed a train of open freight cars, each carrying a massive windmill blade.

Instead of memories of a crazy long car trip where they escaped the dullness in videos and games, they’ll have memories of a crazy long car trip where they formed a more complex relationship with each other and with me. They got a sense of the country, its vastness and variety, its future and past, and a sense of themselves at the same time, what their minds are capable of when allowed to roam in the deceptive bleakness of boredom. The perfect road trip.

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Parenting Understanding Media and Pop Culture
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