The Equalizer

Posted on September 25, 2014 at 5:59 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for strong bloody violence and language throughout, including some sexual references
Profanity:	Very strong and crude language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Drinking, drugs and drug dealing
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended and very graphic violence, with many characters injured and killed and graphic and disturbing images
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	September 26, 2014
Date Released to DVD:	December 29, 2014
Amazon.com ASIN:	B00NX6WZIS

THE-EQUALIZER — Copyright 2014 Columbia Pictures

The only thing nicer than having a real-life friend who could circumvent any obstacle of power or law or, you know, logic to deliver the roughest but most just of rough justice would be to have that friend be Denzel Washington. And that’s the story of “The Equalizer,” very loosely based on television series starring Edward Woodward, but in theme and character closer to a superhero saga.

Washington plays Bob McCall, a kind and quiet inventory clerk at a big box store, but we can tell right away that he has seen some stuff and knows even more stuff. His alarm clock goes off in a room so spare it might be occupied by a monk. But the bed has not been slept in. Bob prepares for the day, serious, precise, and methodical. He does one thing at a time. At work, he eats his bag lunch and gently but firmly coaches his young colleague Ralphie (Johnny Skourtis) on losing weight and working on the skills he will need to pass the test for security guard. And at night, he brings a book to the diner (Hemingway’s The Old Man and The Sea), sits at a table, unwrapping the tea bag he brought with him, and exchanges a few words with Teri (Chloë Grace Moretz), a young “escort.” “The old man met his adversary just when he thought that part of his life was over,” Bob tells Teri. “The old man got to be the old man. The fish got to be the fish. Got to be what you are in this world.” But what is Bob? And what is Teri?

We do not know Bob’s past, but we know he has one (especially if we’ve seen the trailer). If, as Spider-Man learns, with great power comes great responsibility, then with great power come some wrenching conflicts as well. When Ralphie and Terri get in trouble, Bob will step in, risking escalation, retribution, and blowing whatever cover he has worked very hard to create. On the other hand, if he does not step in, it will not be much of a movie. And if you have any question, his next choice of classic literature will make it clear: Don Quixote, who “lives in a world where knights don’t exist anymore.” In his own way, Bob is a Knight of Rueful Countenance. But unlike Don Quixote, Bob does not tilt at windmills. He takes on very bad people and he is very, very good at it. “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why,” the film tells us at the beginning, quoting Mark Twain. Bob was not born to haul sacks of gravel.

A superhero movie has to have a character with power, whether it is money plus gymnastics and cool toys (Batman) or extra strength and speed (pretty much all of the Avengers). But we usually like them to have a secret or at least downtime identity — Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Tony Stark. There’s a lot of satisfaction in seeing them take down the bad guys. But there is even more satisfaction in what I call the “who is that chef?” moments (a reference to Under Siege). It’s not enough to kick the butt of the bad guy, you have to have the vast, immense, profound satisfaction of letting him know just how massively he has underestimated you. I mean Bob.

We get a lot of both in this film as Bob takes on bigger, meaner, and tougher bad guys in bigger, meaner, tougher confrontations. Bob likes to set his stopwatch so we know he is setting himself against more than the bad guys; he is still in some competition with, what? His abilities when he was younger? Or, as he says, “progress, not perfection” — is he moving toward some goal that is still just out of his reach?

Basically, this is a slow burn movie, with a build-up to introduce us to the characters and then a series of action sequences, all well staged but very, very violent, as to be expected from director Antoine Fuqua (“Training Day”). The bad guys are very, very, very bad. The good guy is very, very, very, very good. Denzel Washington is as good as it gets.

And a sequel is in the works.

Parents should know that this movie is extremely violent, with many characters injured and killed and many explicit and disturbing images. Characters use strong language. Bad guys use every possible kind of weapon and engage in every possible kind of criminal behavior including sex trafficking, extortion and arson, and drug dealing.

Family discussion: Why did Bob go to see his former colleague? What did he learn from the classic books he read?

If you like this, try: “Training Day”

The November Man

Posted on August 27, 2014 at 10:57 am

Pierce Brosnan knows what it is like to play a spy in a big-budget, glamorous, blockbuster. He was the most urbane of Bonds in four movies. He knows what it is to play a seedier spy in a prestige, mildly meta movie, the 2001 film “The Tailor of Panama” (with Daniel Radcliffe in a pre-Potter role). So perhaps he thought it was a good idea to produce and star in “The November Man,” a spy story set mostly in Eastern Europe, based on There Are No Spies by Bill Granger. It was not. “The November Man” barely reaches the standard of a generic throw-away thriller, with a sub-par storyline and painfully tiresome dialog.

It begins in 2008 Montenegro, as a venerable CIA operative named Peter Devereaux (Brosnan) sees his young padawan smooching with a pretty girl at an outdoor cafe and harshly explains that personal relationships are out of the question in their line of work. He indicates a guy with a telephoto lens at a nearby table. “Us or them?” the spy-in-training asks. “How the F should I know? Does it really matter?” the world-weary sensei responds. This brief exchange tells you pretty much everything you need to know, or, rather, will find out whether you want to know it or not. Do you think that Devereaux will have some personal entanglement of his own? Do you think the question of who is “us” and who is “them” will provide the twist so unsurprising that even the idiot with the roller bag who wanders out of the hotel elevator without noticing that everyone around him has guns could figure it out? Are the answers to these two rhetorical questions obvious? Well, so is the movie.

Obvious, that is, when it isn’t just being stupid. Throughout the film, shoot-outs, car chases, and explosions occur almost constantly and yet none of the extras ever seem to notice and no one ever calls the police.

The sidekick trainee is David Mason, played by Australian actor Luke Bracey with a blankness that may explain why he was cast as Johnny Utah in the unnecessary upcoming remake of “Point Break.” Bill Smitrovich is, as always, just fine as Dvereaux’s spy boss. Brosnan, even with all of his movie star charisma, cannot make this tired storyline or pedestrian action scenes hold our interest. It is all as pointless as the explanation for the title — a character explains that was Devereaux’s office nickname because after him, there’s nothing left. Huh? After November is, well, December, and Christmas, and then a whole new year. Pondering the meaning of the nickname, though, was much more entertaining than the film.

Parents should know that this film has extensive spy-style peril and violence including some graphic and disturbing scenes, guns, explosions, chases, torture, with many characters injured and killed, also rape, child prostitution, terrorism, drinking, smoking, drugs, sexual references and situation, and very strong, offensive, and crude language.

Family discussion: How can we balance the need for national security with the need for accountability? How did Mason decide who to trust? What does the reveal about the villain tells us about contemporary geopolitics?

If you like this, try: Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond films and “The Matador”

Related Tags:

Action/Adventure Spies Thriller

The Expendables 3

Posted on August 14, 2014 at 6:00 pm

Everything I said about the last two “Expendables” movies, blah blah, with some new additions from the AARP branch of the action heroes club: Harrison Ford, Antonio Banderas, Wesley Snipes, and Mel Gibson, plus a couple of Expendable interns to bring down the median age a bit.

Sylvester Stallone got the gang back together for one more Over-the-Hill gang run-with-a-gun-fest. Once again, he plays Barney Ross, as one of those guys who is most comfortable when he is least comfortable. One of these guys, given a chance to sleep in a bed, puts the bedspread down on the floor and settles in for the night. Barney and the gang are the guys you call when you need the impossible and off the books. I need to point out, however, that it isn’t too hush-hush as Barney’s first meeting with Drummer (ah, the machismo of these names), the CIA big shot played by Ford, replacing Bruce Willis as Church. (There are a couple of cracks about Church, directed at Willis, who reportedly asked for too much money to be in this film.) Barney and Drummer have a nice chat about all the black ops stuff in a hospital parking lot.

Who cares whether it makes sense? We’re here for the stunts and explosions and they are fine. It’s the winks to the camera and the manly quips that are hard to take. Note to the hard-core fans of hard core, however: while the first two films were rated R, this one is PG-13. Which means, basically, just one f-word and less blood.

Despite their name, of course each and every one of the team is vitally important to Barney, and he has a collection of dog tags from those who didn’t make it hanging in the plane like sad little wind chimes. Barney hates to put people in danger, which is something of an occupational hazard when you are in the tough guy business. When one of his team is hit hard, he fires everyone else and brings in new recruits, which (1) gives us a chance to see him hopping around the world with Kelsey Grammer as his talent scout, for one of those “Magnificent Seven,” “Oceans 11” let’s see what these guys can do episodes, and (2) gives them a chance to cast some people audiences under age 25 might recognize, including boxer Victor Ortiz of “Dancing With the Stars,” Kellan Lutz of “Twilight,” and MMA champion Ronda Rousey. Conveniently, each of them can do two things: fight and hack computers, fight and Parkour, fight and rock a mini-skirt, etc.

They’re going after a bad guy played with way too much relish by Mel Gibson, as though he is saying, “You want to hate me? Bring it on!” Of course he is impossible to find and surrounded by armies of security. And Drummer wants him brought back alive. But this is what Barney does. So, he takes his padawans and pretty soon they’re jumping out of plans and exchanging manly quips. And they’re showing old Pops a thing or two about using computers and being in the 21st century. It works out just fine until it doesn’t, and it’s time for the old folks to come in and save the day.

It’s fun to see these old guys in action, and it gives you a lot of bang-bang for the buck.

Parents should know that this movie includes some strong language and crude insults, extensive and graphic violence with knives, guns, fights, explosions, and many characters are injured or killed.

Family discussion: How did the two generations of Expendables differ? Why did Drummer and Galgo care so much about getting into the fight? Why did Barney take off his protective gear?

If you like this, try: the earlier “Expendables” movies and the 1980’s action films featuring these stars

Related Tags:

Action/Adventure Series/Sequel

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 5:59 pm

Dear Michael Bay,
Just because you were able to turn one Saturday cartoon series for children into a PG-13 blockbuster, based on nostalgia on the part of its now-teen and 20-something audience and some world class special effects, does not mean that you can do the same with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This is less “Transformer” and more “Yogi Bear” or “Scooby-Doo.” In other words, step away from “Shirt Tales” and “The Wuzzles.” Please, just stop. Sincerely, The Movie Mom

Before it wore or, or, more accurately, wore down its welcome, the original “Transformers” was a refreshing surprise that kept the spirit of the original series. But even as a cartoon show, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were meta and self-referential and cutesy. I mean, just look at the concept: they’re turtles. And ninjas. And teenagers. You can blow them up into CGI behemoths, but they still can’t make a movie work, even by bringing back the original star of the first “Transformers” movie, Megan Fox.

Fox plays April O’Neil, a would-be investigative reporter relegated by her condescending colleagues to cutesy stories like exercising on mini-trampolines in Times Square. She would much rather be reporting on a powerful and merciless gang of criminals known as the Foot Clan. No one believes her when she says she saw a super-strong vigilante in the shadows, fighting the Foot Clan, including her editor (a “what is she doing in this movie?” Whoopi Goldberg). It turns out she has a connection to this mysterious crime-fighter. Her father was a scientist who died in a tragic lab accident as he was working on a special strength-giving serum by injecting it into four young turtles. The night the lab burned down, April rescued the turtles and a rat by letting them escape into the sewer.

A handy martial arts manual found in the sewer gives the rat, known as Splinter (voice of “Monk’s” Tony Shaloub) the chance to train the young turtles, and the effects of the injections make them grow up to be large, muscular, and able to stand upright. Each of the four has a different color mask and a Smurf-like individual personality quirk. But they all love pizza.

The action scenes are well-staged, especially a snowy chase scene, though I have no idea where the snow came from as we only see snow outside the city. But the script is lame and the violence is too intense for anyone old enough to be interested. A slumming William Fitchner plays an industrialist who is not as philanthropic as he seems. And the scenes with an even-more slumming Will Arnett (what happened to his career?), whose two functions are to drive April around and be generally skeezy about his interest in her, are just painful. April strives to be taken seriously as a journalist. Fox, sadly, fails to be taken seriously as an actress (which she really is — see “This is 40”).

And the title characters are under-used as well. For a movie about the TMNTs, they just don’t have enough to do beyond loving pizza and kicking bad guys. Whatever charm existed in the original cartoons is trampled by this over-blown bore.

Parents should know that this film includes cartoon-style action, peril, and violence, sad off-screen death of a parent, some brief disturbing images, some crude humor and a brief potty joke.

Family discussion: Why didn’t anyone take April seriously? Which turtle is your favorite and why?

If you like this, try: the TMNT cartoon series and the earlier films

Into the Storm

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 5:48 pm

Let’s get this out of the way up front. It’s no “Twister,” which is not just the “Citizen Kane” of tornado movies, but a loveably cheesy thrill ride of a film that holds up very well even though its then-cutting edge special effects (that flying cow!) are no longer as surprising. But “Into the Storm” is an efficient little thrill ride of its own, tapping into fears about the ramped-up rage of post climate change storms.

A swift 90 minutes gives them 20 minutes to introduce the characters, their capabilities and vulnerabilities, 50 minutes of buildup, and 40 minutes of action.

There’s a brief prologue letting us know how deadly a tornado can be. And then the characters are sketched in quickly with just enough of a story to help us tell them apart and give them some motivations and lessons to learn.

The hometown characters: Gary (Richard Armitage), a single father who is the assistant principal in an Oklahoma high school. His two sons, the shy Donnie (Max Deacon), and Trey (Nathan Kress of “iCarly”), are supposed to be at school to made a video of the graduation ceremony. But Donnie gets the chance to help out the girl he has a crush on, Kaitlyn (Alycia Debnam Carey), by helping her get some video footage at an abandoned factory.

The storm chasers: Pete (“Veep’s” Matt Walsh), in a specially equipped tank outfitted with two dozen cameras and grappling claws, is about to lose his funding if he cannot provide storm footage. In a van, a meteorologist named Allison (Sarah Wayne Callies) checks her monitors and worries about the five year old daughter she has left with her parents. There are some assistants and camera operators on board as well. We don’t need to get to know them too well. We do get to see a “promotional video” about the vehicle so we can get a sense of its special features, including a turret set up to capture “a sight nobody but God has witnessed, the eye of the tornado.”

Oh, and there’s also a pair of idiots who like to think up dumb stunts and post them on YouTube.

There’s not a lot of creativity in the characters. There is even less in the dialog, which relies heavily on disaster-movie standards. “What used to be a once in a lifetime storm happens about once a year now,” an expert explains. “I’ve never seen anything like this.” Followed by, “This is the biggest tornado I’ve ever seen.” But what we’re here for is the stunts and special effects, and those are just fine, from the small details like a little girl’s pink bicycle impaled on the side of a truck to a wind tunnel of fire and an entire car lot of vehicles tossed up into the air like ping pong balls in a juggling act. Our most fundamental notions of physics are continually upended. The pull of gravity is no match for the fury of the storm. And that, after all, is what we came to see.

Parents should know that this film includes very intense and sometimes graphic and disturbing scenes of massive storm, with extended damage and constant peril, characters injured and killed, and some strong language and crude references.

Family discussion: Which character changed the the most over the course of the movie and why? What would you say if you thought they would be your last words?

If you like this, try: “Twister” and the documentary “Storm Chasing The Year of the EF-5: an Epic Journey Through Tornado Alley”