Land of the Lost

Posted on October 13, 2009 at 8:00 am

“Land of the Lost” features two funny actors and a criminally underused actress tramping around an alternate reality in search of comedy but not finding much for us to laugh at.
Too raunchy for kids, too dull for anyone else, this over-budgeted and under-scripted film wastes everyone’s time, especially the audience’s. The original television series about a forest ranger and his two teenage children in a time warp land with dinosaurs and lizard people called Sleestaks was best known for effects that could hardly be called “special,” even for the 1970’s. But it had innocence and charm, while the remake has neither. It is so carelessly written that when the humanoids don’t understand English but the dinosaurs do it feels more like laziness than an attempt to be funny. It is too busy coming up with a reason for Ferrell to douse himself with dino pee to try to, for example, give the female character any — what’s the word? — character.
Will Ferrell plays Dr. Rick Marshall, a discredited scientist whose theories about the particles that control space and time are not taken seriously by anyone. Then Holly (Anna Friel), a young scientist from England, tells him that she has some proof that his theories are right. Led by Will (Danny McBride) a guy who sells fireworks and lives in a trailer, they go into a cave and find themselves catapulted into an alternate universe where they are chased by dinosaurs and befriended by a missing link ape-boy named Chaka (Jorma Taccone). Ferrell’s job in the movie (big surprise) is to vibrate between neediness, panic, and arrogance and run around in his underwear. Friel’s job is to know the answer to everything (she even speaks Chaka’s language), allow herself to be (literally) pawed, look very fetching in tiny little shorts, and gaze adoringly at Ferrell. The best moments in the film come from the always-hilarious Danny McBride (“Pineapple Express,” “Tropic Thunder”), the songs of “A Chorus Line,” and, surprisingly, from Matt Lauer, playing himself.

(more…)

Battle for Terra 3D

Posted on September 22, 2009 at 12:02 pm

The animation may be three-dimensional but the story is one-dimensional in this dull saga of humans invading an alien planet — from the perspective of the aliens. I suppose it is actually the humans who are the aliens in this story, so from now on I will refer to the characters who look like fish-lizard creatures as Terrans. The humans long ago destroyed not only Earth but the surrounding planets and for more than a generation they have been roaming the galaxy looking for another place to live. Their ships are barely able to sustain them. And all of those years without a home, battling to stay alive, has made them desperate and unable to think about the rights of other beings.

Mala (voice of Evan Rachel Wood) is a spunky teenager from the peaceful planet Terra. When the human military invade in search of a place to settle, she finds herself sort of stuck with a crashed human pilot named Jim Stanton (voice of Luke Wilson). They gingerly begin to trust one another.

Terra’s atmosphere is poisonous to humans but the humans have the capacity to switch it to oxygen, which will wipe out the Terrans. They feel they have no choice. And when Jim resists, the harsh general (Brian Cox) makes him prove his loyalty by forcing him to make a life or death decision between Mala and his own brother.

Despite the 3D effects, the visuals are dull and unimaginative. None of the characters have much by way of facial expressions or distinguishing characteristics. Apparently the Terrans are way ahead of the humans in the treatment of females and minorities as almost all the humans we see are square-jawed white males who just came off the GI Joe assembly line. The strongest voice performance is from David Cross as Jim’s little robot navigator and even he is a pale imitation of R2D2. The script briefly raises some intriguing issues but its darkest moments are too disturbing for its intended PG audience and its execution is too superficial for other viewers.

Related Tags:

3D Action/Adventure Animation

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Posted on September 15, 2009 at 8:00 am

Sometimes the mystery is better than the solution. This is one of those times.

Marvel Comics’ X-Men movie trilogy was about a group of mostly young people with special “mutant” powers who were either victimized by or exploited by “regular” humans. These powers were first presented in most cases when the unsuspecting mutants became teenagers. It was effective as fantasy and more effective as metaphor for the changes of adolescence. One of the few grown-up characters is Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), a cigar-chomping tough guy with indestructible claws that slide out from between his knuckles and the power to heal all wounds almost instantly — and large pieces of his memory missing, which is the source of some intrigue.

Now Wolverine gets his own spin-off and it is an “origin” story, which anthropologists and comic fans know is a prequel, an up close and personal look at the superhero’s backstory to give us some insights into what made Logan into his Wolverine-y bad self and a chance to feel knowledgeable when we see the experiences that led to the characteristics and events we already know. Aha, so that’s where the name comes from! And who was behind that operation? And when do we get to see that always indispensable origin moment — Wolverine primal screaming up into the indifferent sky?

The movie’s version of adamantium, that super-strong metal alloy that gives Wolverine the super-powerful skeletal structure and shooting claws, is its three leads, all superb actors as well as action heroes. Liev Schreiber plays Victor, Logan’s similarly-powered brother, and Ryan Reynolds is a motor-mouthed swordsman named Wade Wilson. The evil military man who presides over the hideous medical experiments is Danny Houston and Logan’s romantic interest is the criminally underused Lynn Collins. There are some striking fight scenes, I love the way Wolverine races toward battle, and it has the usual intriguing murkiness about who is on which side that energizes the X-Men stories. But it never taps into the deeper themes of mutantcy as metaphor and the reveals are not especially revelatory.

X Games 3D: The Movie

Posted on August 20, 2009 at 5:58 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	4th - 6th Grades
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for extreme sports action and accidents
Profanity:	None
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Intense sports action and accidents, reference to serious injuries
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	August 21, 2009

Kids, don’t try this at home.

3D is X-treme film-making and thus well suited to the X Games, hyper-intense, hyper-dangerous, hyper-what are they thinking? sports that are closer to stunts. Young men compete on skateboard, snowboard, and on dirt bikes and motocross to defy the laws of physics. One of them says he feels about gravity the way some people feel about evolution: “It’s just a theory.”

Adolescent testosterone-friendly sponsors like Play Station, Taco Bell, Red Bull, and the Navy have helped make the X Games into an enormous and high-stakes event. Some of its most stunning images are of the homes these young men have purchased with the money they make breaking their bones to do these tricks.

And X can also stand for something else. At one point, a selection of one competitor’s past x-rays of injuries flash on the screen.

The stunts are astonishing and the 3D effects are so intense that you will feel like wiping the dirt kicked up by the motocross bike off your face. But there is more to the film. It has some important lessons about passion, commitment, being willing to ask “what if it is possible?” and being willing to fail in order to achieve ultimate success. The climax of the film comes in a three-way competition that includes one man coming back from a wipe-out the year before and one who is badly injured early on and insists on continuing to compete. The respect and affection between the competitors is genuinely touching and the way they ride their boards back and forth to the medical facility to check on the injured athlete is affecting. They are barely aware of how organic their attachment to the boards has become.

Alien Trespass

Posted on August 10, 2009 at 7:00 am

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for sci-fi action and brief historical smoking
Profanity:	None
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Social drinking, characters get drunk
Violence/ Scariness:	Sci-fi violence, characters in peril, injured and killed
Diversity Issues:	Mild joshing of 1950's stereotypes
Date Released to Theaters:	April 3, 2009
Date Released to DVD:	August 11, 2009
Amazon.com ASIN:	B0029W2V9U

Was there ever a time when cheesy 1950’s sci-fi movies were actually scary? Is it because they are so low tech in comparison to the intense realism of CGI? Or is it just the balsa wood sets and cardboard dialog that seems so endearingly innocent now? This affectionate tribute to the low budget movies that played in drive-ins and were shown on Saturday morning television comes from R.W. Goodwin, whose love for the movies he saw as a kid helped inspire him to co-produce “The X-Files.” And this is a loving appreciation, not a parody. There’s no winking at the camera. And there’s no exaggeration, but then, none is necessary.

The shrewd script gives us the perfect assortment of 1950’s archetypal characters, with special emphasis on two of the 1950’s primary fixations — the suburban married couple who exemplify “togetherness” and the teenagers who may look like Archie and Betty but could be juvenile delinquents. Like all of this category of movies, the space invaders plot is just a way of addressing that other fixation of the 1950’s, the cold war.

There’s Ted Lewis, a pipe-smoking professor (“Will and Grace’s” Eric McCormack) and his luscious wife Lana (Jody Thomson), who always seems to be pouring cocktails or lighting candles suggestively. There are the high school sweethearts, Penny (Sarah Smyth) in flared skirts and saddle shoes and Dick (Andrew Dunbar), the guy with the letter sweater. Their pal with the “Wild Ones” hair, t-shirt, and jacket is Cody (a terrific Aaron Brooks). There’s the about-to-retire sheriff (“Wonder Years'” Dan Lauria) and his get-em officer Vernon (Robert Patrick). And there’s Tammy, the waitress with artistic aspirations and a heart of gold (Jenni Baird).

Penny and Dick are out necking in the mountains when something strange happens and they race back to town. Professor Lewis sees it through his telescope and goes to investigate. He is sucked into a spaceship and when he emerges, he is…different. The professor’s body has been borrowed by a law enforcement alien who has come to earth to kill off an evil, destructive alien with tentacles.

Like the films it salutes, this was made quickly and on a minuscule budget. But there is a lot more talent behind and in front of the camera than there was in the originals. Goodwin said he made the movie because he loved those old films and wished there had been more of them. McCormack’s nimble timing, Baird’s sweet sincerity and the innocence of its message about intergalactic understanding make this one a worthy addition.