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Ultraviolet

Posted on March 4, 2006 at 12:23 pm

C-
Lowest Recommended Age: Middle School
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for sequences of violent action throughout, partial nudity and language.
Profanity: Brief strong language
Nudity/ Sex: Non-sexual nudity
Alcohol/ Drugs: None
Violence/ Scariness: Intense and graphic violence, many characters killed
Diversity Issues: A theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters: 2006
Date Released to DVD: 2006
Amazon.com ASIN: B000FGGE68

This movie hopes that it can distract you from its failure of imagination with the following:

  • Throbbing techno club music-style soundtrack
  • Sleek, towering futuristic structures
  • The toned body of star Milla Jovovich, magnificently displayed in a variety of skin-tight, midriff-baring outfits. She can change the color of her catsuits and hair, too.
  • Lots and lots and lots of shooting, kicking, swordfights, and explosions


But all of that can’t hide:

  • Cardboard dialogue that compounds its failures with a lot of repetition for emphasis and faux-seriousness. “It’s just the wind. Just — the wind.”
  • An unintelligible story line
  • Dreary performances by everyone in the cast except for William Fichtner as a kind-hearted scientist
  • A boring bad guy. In fact, a couple of all but indistinguishable boring bad guys.
  • You know all those fight scenes? Not very exciting, at its best a poor imitation of better movies

Milla Jovovich (the Resident Evil) series plays Ultraviolet, who isn’t kidding when she introduces the story by saying “I was born into a world you may not understand.” It isn’t that it is so complicated; it’s just not interesting enough to pay attention to. She’s a mutant and a part of a rebel group fighting the tyranny of the humans. She infiltrates their compound to pick up what looks like a boogie board-shaped briefcase containing some highly destructive biological agent and is told it will self-destruct if she tries to open it.


So, she opens it. And inside is a child. When she gets back to the rebel stronghold, they decide to kill the child, whose blood contains some, I don’t know, bad stuff of some kind. But Ultraviolet, whose pregnancy was terminated 12 years earlier when she became infected with the mutating pathogen, finds her maternal instincts taking over and she and the boy, whose name is Six (Cameron Bright, continuing a string of awful movies after Godsend and Birth) are soon on the run.


Inevitably, we have the 2/3 of the way through moment of peace and safety that shows up in most action films for all the characters to catch their breath, bond, and show their softer sides. Meanwhile, the bad guys stride through spotless corriders in buildings where weirdly calm disembodied female voices say things like “Switching to emergency backup lighting system.”


If only I could have found the button for the emergency back-up better movie system.

Parents should know that the film has non-stop action violence with a lot of shooting, stabbing, and kicking. Many characters are killed and a child is in peril and apparently doomed. Characters use brief strong language and there is brief non-sexual nudity and some barfing.


Families who see this movie should talk about the risks of bio-terrorism. Why does Violet decide to protect Six?


Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy Blade Runner and The Matrix and Jovovich’s The Fifth Element (all with some mature material).

Block Party

Posted on March 2, 2006 at 12:27 pm

B+
Lowest Recommended Age: High School
MPAA Rating: Rated R for language.
Profanity: Very strong language
Nudity/ Sex: Some references
Alcohol/ Drugs: References to alcohol and drugs
Violence/ Scariness: None
Diversity Issues: A theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters: 2006
Date Released to DVD: 2006
Amazon.com ASIN: B000FMH8RG

The regal Erykah Badu takes the stage, her slender form topped with an enormous puff of hair that hangs down over her face. But the stage is outdoors on a gusty, rainy day, and all of a sudden it is blown back and then off! She keeps singing.

Unknown White Male

Posted on March 1, 2006 at 12:29 pm

B+
Lowest Recommended Age: Middle School
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for drug references and brief strong language.
Profanity: Some strong language
Nudity/ Sex: None
Alcohol/ Drugs: None
Violence/ Scariness: Disturbing themes
Diversity Issues: None
Date Released to Theaters: 2006
Date Released to DVD: 2006
Amazon.com ASIN: B000GBEWIY

Confounded doctors admit that they’ve only seen it in movies and textbooks. But in this documentary a mystery, perhaps the ultimate mystery occurs.


A healthy and successful young man wakes up on a train to Coney Island to discover – nothing. He has no idea who he is and nothing to indicate his name or address. He has completely lost his “episodic memory,” all of the details of his own personal experience – relationships, education, work, his own subjective reactions to the world. He retains the basics of his “semantic memory,” enough to let him conclude that the place to go for help is a police station. But everything else is just…gone.


And so, he goes from discovering an almost endless nothing to discovering an infinite everything. Like a visitor from another planet, he is an adult man for whom everything he sees is brand new. His family and friends are reassuring but also confusing – is he still the man they say they cared about if he cannot remember any of the shared experiences they describe? The wonders the rest of us take a little bit for granted, from the ocean to chocolate mousse, come to him pure and undiluted.


After a few days of detective work, he learns his name: Doug Bruce. But after months of medical tests and trying to remember the people and places everyone tells him were once part of his life, he still does not know who Doug Bruce is. Or, he does know who Doug Bruce is. He just doesn’t know who he was.


This documentary takes us on the journey with Doug, the man who lost his memory. Director Rupert Murray was a close friend of Doug’s before he lost his memory. His movie is not just the story of Doug’s journey to finding himself but a meditation on the nature of identity, memory, and connection.


Parents should know that this movie has some strong language and disturbing themes.


Families who see this movie should talk about their most important memories and what they can do to preserve them.


Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy some of the famous fictional depictions of memory loss, especially Random Harvest and I Love You Again. They may also enjoy my interview with the director.

16 Blocks

Posted on February 28, 2006 at 12:32 pm

B+
Lowest Recommended Age: Middle School
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for violence, intense sequences of action, and some strong language.
Profanity: Brief strong language
Nudity/ Sex: Mild references
Alcohol/ Drugs: Character abuses alcohol
Violence/ Scariness: Intense peril and violence, tense scenes, many characters shot and injured or killed
Diversity Issues: Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters: 2006
Date Released to DVD: 2006
Amazon.com ASIN: B000FFL2G6

When a cop at a crime scene needs someone to stay with the bodies until the detectives arrive, he asks “who don’t we need?” That would be tired, slow, Jack Mosley (Bruce Willis). As soon as the other cops leave, he limps into the kitchen and takes a bottle of booze out of the cabinet, then sits on the sofa, pours himself a drink, and waits until he can go.


Back at the station, he is about to sign out for the day when his lieutenant assigns him one more job. A prisoner has to testify before a grand jury 16 blocks away before 10:00, and it is now Jack’s responsibilty to deliver him.


So Jack puts Eddie (Mos Def) in the back of a squad car. On the way to the courthouse, he stops at a liquor store, leaving Eddie in the car. Two men try to kill Eddie.

It turns out that a lot of people will do everything they can to keep Eddie from testifying. And that powerful people were counting on Jack to “do what he always does.” Does that mean “mess up” or “go along?”


This movie is 2/3 video game, as Jack and Eddie find dangerous surprises around every corner and in a variety of settings, including the obligatory Chinatown scene. Bang, duck, bang, duck, bang, shoot back. But the other third makes it work — that’s the sure direction of a well-constructed script by Richard Donner, balancing tension, thrills, and a few well-placed laughs, with sharp, clever performances by Willis, Def, and David Morse as Jack’s former partner.

Willis is always underestimated as an actor. It’s easy to do because he never seems to be trying very hard. But that just shows how good he is. In the middle of an action movie he gives a subtle, complex, and nimble performance that increases the tension, never distracting from it. Mos Def gives depth and appeal to a character who has two functions in the script: contrast with Jack’s burn-out and McGuffin prop to be shot at and fought over. Eddie’s non-stop commentary could have quickly become annoying with a less skillful performer. But Def makes the rhythms of Eddie’s speech a counterpoint to the script’s ticking clock. The moment when he has to make a big decision is beautifully played. This 16 block journey is one audiences will enjoy being along for the ride.


Parents should know that this movie has non-stop action and peril with many tense situations and a lot of violence (mostly shooting). Many characters are injured and some are killed. A character abuses alcohol. Characters use brief strong language and there are some mild sexual references.


Families who see this movie should talk about whether and when people can change. Why did Jack decide to protect Eddie? Why did Eddie decide to help Jack? Why is Eddie’s riddle important?


Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy the best in this genre, Midnight Run (non-stop very strong language), Speed, and Willis’ Die Hard 3.

Doogal

Posted on February 26, 2006 at 12:35 pm

C
Lowest Recommended Age: Kindergarten - 3rd Grade
MPAA Rating: Rated PG
Profanity: Some schoolyard language
Nudity/ Sex: Some potty humor
Alcohol/ Drugs: Brief joke
Violence/ Scariness: Cartoony peril and violence, characters shoot lightning bolts, scary skeletons, characters apparently killed
Diversity Issues: Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters: 2006
Date Released to DVD: 2006
Amazon.com ASIN: B000F0V0KO

This tiresome animated quest story starts out uninspired but quickly becomes irritating. Half an hour into its 80 minute running time, the child behind me asked hopefully, “Is that the end?” If only.


Has anyone behind this movie ever met a child? The story, about an evil wizard who is after three magic diamonds and the dog, rabbit, cow, and snail who try to stop him, has some mild appeal, but the characters are so uninteresting, most of the artwork so unimaginative, and the tone so uneven that it is unlikely to hold the interest of any age group.


This is a G-rated film directed at children that tries to make jokes about the Blue Man Group, Donald Trump, Simon and Garfunkel, Austin Powers, the MTV car fix-up show “Pimp My Ride,” Mission Impossible, human resources departments and the inadequacies of interns, Dawn of the Dead, music group Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. These are not the kind of keep-the-grownups-happy jokes from Shrek and The Incredibles. They are just stale throw-in-any-pop-culture-reference non-jokes-in-a-hopeless-attempt-to-sound-hip-and-snarky.


The story itself is sugary pap of the “kids don’t know any better so it won’t matter if there’s nothing especially vivid or memorable” category. It keeps telling us that friendship and togetherness are important, but we never have any reason to believe that they believe it, much less that we should. Even the voice talents of Whoopi Goldberg, William H. Macy, and Jimmy Fallon can’t make up for a lackluster script and sluggish pacing. The animation has the low-budget CGI look: meticulous textures but movement as jerky and unpersuasive as Davey and Goliath.


Originally made in England, the movie was redubbed to make it more accessible to an American audience. Apparently, they didn’t think American children would find British accents appealing. The slightly governess-y narration by Dame Judi Dench is, however, the best part of the movie, suggesting that it might have been better to leave it as it was.

Parents should know that, despite the G rating, this movie may be too intense for younger children. Wizards fight with lightning bolts, scary skeletons guard a jewel, children are locked in a frozen merry-go-round, characters are in peril and there are some apparent deaths. There is some crude schoolyard language (indcluding the expression “pimp my ride”), a brief joke about substance abuse, and some potty humor.


Families who see this movie should talk about how friendship and loyalty made it possible for Doogal and the others to succeed.


Families who enjoy this movie will also enjoy Yellow Submarine and The Thief and the Cobbler.