Southern Accents in Movies: The Good, The Bad, The Very Ugly
Posted on August 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm
When I saw New York Magazine’s Vulture blog did a slideshow about the worst Southern accents in the movies, with clips of real-life speakers from the actual towns that were supposed to be represented, I was delighted to see some recognition that not all Southerners sound like L’il Abner and that there are distinctive differences based on region and culture. As we say in the South, bless their hearts.
My own pick for the worst Southern accent I ever heard on screen was in a British miniseries I saw on PBS many years ago. I genuinely thought the character had a speech impediment. Vulture picks Nicolas Cage for their all-time worst, but I’d go for John Travolta (“A Love Song for Bobby Long”). Best? Ms. Meryl Streep, of course, in “The Seduction of Joe Tynan.” She said she based her honeyed tones on Dinah Shore.
Beastly This modern-day version of Beauty and the Beast is surprisingly appealing. In an era of bullies and mean girls, “Gossip Girls” and “Pretty Little Liars,” it’s nice to have such a tenderhearted fairy tale.
Sucker Punch Girls in thigh-hi stockings and tiny spangled miniskirts take on steam-powered corpses, WWI bi-planes, samurai robots, and an angry dragon, along with a series of odiously predatory men in the latest film from Zack Snyder. His versions of “300? and “Watchmen” overwhelmed the storylines with striking, provocative visuals. Here, he solves that problem by pretty much not having any storyline at all. He literally and metaphorically cuts to the chase. It’s not so much punch, a bit more sucker.
Season of the Witch. This is sword-and-sorcery film named after a Donovan song that features a joke swiped from “Jaws” — a priest looks balefully up at a looming demon and actually says, “We’re going to need more holy water.” It is a hopeless mish-mash that feels like they were making it up as they went along. It’s also dull.
The Eagle The classic book for kid by Rosemary Sutcliff is an epic story, lavishly filmed, but empty at the core. Without a reason to care about the quest, it does not matter how skillfully the battle scenes are filmed.
Unknown There are some good chases through Berlin and even twistier plot developments even if the end is kind of silly in this story of a man on the way to an academic conference who wakes up after an accident with amnesia and finds that someone else has taken over his life. Worth seeing for one scene between veterans Bruno Ganz and Frank Langella.
Barney’s Version Paul Giamatti makes us understand and even forgive a man who leaves his own wedding reception (second marriage) to run after a woman he has just met (Rosamund Pike), who will be the great love of his life. Based on the last novel by the great Canadian author Mordecai Richler, this is a sprawling, episodic story of a man who is not always likable but the performances by Giamatti, Pike, and Dustin Hoffman has his policeman father over the decades are magnificent.
The movie is called “Drive Angry.” It stars Nicolas Cage. It’s in 3D.
What more do you need to know?
Cage is such a fan of comic books he took his screen name from a comic book superhero and starred as “Ghost Rider.” Cage and co-writer/director Patrick Lussier have brought a stylish and mythic comic book sensibility to this story about a man determined to kill cult members who murdered his daughter and plan to kill her baby.
Cage plays John Milton (I did say mythic), a mysterious loner, who hitches a ride with Piper (Amber Heard, as terrific here as she was in “The Jones”), a waitress who just dumped her fiance and took his Dodge Charger, the one with the license plate that says DRV ANGRY. They go after Jonah King (Billy Burke, looking like a cross between Jim Jones and the Pick-Up Artist) and his Satan-worshiping followers, who are preparing to sacrifice Milton’s granddaughter under the full moon. And they are chased by cops following up on the trail of dead bodies they leave wherever they go and by a man in a suit who calls himself “the accountant” (William Fitchner, like a civilized Terminator with the nose of a bloodhound and the demeanor of an elegant viper). There’s a series of dust-ups and then the final confrontation/conflagration.
This is the kind of movie they used to show in drive-ins and clearly everyone in it is having a blast. It’s nicely twisted and even a little fierce, willing to take on some big questions that provide as much fuel for the story as the cars and carnage. The movie’s highlight is Fitchner, who can sniff the air or toss a coin with as much on-screen power as all the chases and shoot-outs.
This is sword-and-sorcery film named after a Donovan song that features a joke swiped from “Jaws” — a priest looks balefully up at a looming demon and actually says, “We’re going to need more holy water.” It is a hopeless mish-mash that feels like they were making it up as they went along. It’s also dull.
Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman play Crusades-era knights and best bros named Behman and Felson who like to engage in jocular banter as they mow down infidels. When the commanding priest sends them to kill unarmed civilians, telling them they are not allowed to question him because he speaks for God, they go AWOL. They come to a town afflicted by the black plague. The Cardinal (a pustulous Christopher Lee) orders them to deliver the witch they believe responsible for the pestilence to a distant abbey, where there is a book with the necessary incantation to defeat her powers.
And so, there is a journey, hauling the accused witch in an iron cage, guided by a swindler who says he knows the way and accompanied by a priest and an alter boy who wants to be a knight. They encounter a rickety bridge, demon wolves, and some beautiful Hungarian scenery while the girl in the cage (Claire Foy) runs mind games on them and we check our watches to see how much more before it’s all over.
The production design by Uli Hanisch and the cinematography by Amir M. Mokri are stunning. Sadly, the vapidity of the script overcomes their atmospheric effect.
A pinch of movie magic makes this fantasy action movie a summer movie popcorn pleasure for kids and their families. The story goes back to an 18th century poem by Goethe that inspired a symphony by Paul Dukas a century later. But is best remembered as an animated chapter from Disney’s “Fantasia,” with Mickey Mouse in his most famous role, enchanting a broom to carry buckets of water and watching in dismay as things get very, very out of hand.
It is tempting to make the comparison to the hubristic overkill of stunts and special effects that is producer Jerry Bruckheimer’s trademark. But as Mae West once (or many times) said, “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful,” and if this movie doesn’t quite make it to wonderful, it is still a lot of fun, in part because even the most over-the-top effects can’t compete with the most special effects of all — a story that never loses its sense of fun and performances that keep it all grounded.
The very engaging Jay Baruchel plays Dave, an NYU physics nerd still traumatized by a childhood experience when he got separated from the group on a school field trip and had a scary encounter in a curio shop that seemed like it was magic. Humiliated in front of his class, he switched schools and never found out what Becky, the girl he liked, replied to his note asking whether she wanted to be his friend or his girlfriend.
Ten years later, he sees Becky (Teresa Palmer) again. Just as a more conventional kind of magic seems possible with her, he has a second encounter with sorcerer Balthazar (Nicolas Cage) and his nemesis, Horvath (Alfred Molina). Back in 740 AD, Merlin had three apprentices. Balthazar and Horvath both fell in love with Veronica (Monica Bellucci). When she chose Balthazar, Horvath swore his allegiance to evil Morgana (Alice Krige) and they tried to raise an army and destroy pretty much everything. For centuries, Balthazar has kept Veronica, Horvath, Morgana, and a couple of wizards who tried to free them sealed inside some Matryoshka nesting dolls as he sought The One who could defeat them for good.
That of course would be Dave.
And of course this is all just an excuse for some cool fight scenes. A Chinatown paper dragon turns real and a gargoyle flies. And there is a charming shout-out to Mickey and the buckets as Dave tries to clean up his underground research space before Becky arrives. It gets out of hand. Some things never change.
There are some nice humorous touches including sly jokes about “Star Wars” and Depeche Mode and pointy old man shoes. Cage is very good at meaningful thrusting of his arms as though he is conducting a universal orchestra and Baruchel is good at looking abashed but game. I liked the way they put science and magic on a complementary continuum. And the relationship between Dave and Becky is sweet.
The movie is more science than magic, more formula than inspiration. But there is something to be said for the formula: top talent in production design, stunts, and effects, capable pacing, and characters to root for. It’s harder than you’d think to stay out of the way of the audience’s fun; this movie makes it easy to sit back and enjoy.
Paul Giamatti makes us understand and even forgive a man who leaves his own wedding reception (second marriage) to run after a woman he has just met (Rosamund Pike), who will be the great love of his life. Based on the last novel by the great Canadian author Mordecai Richler, this is a sprawling, episodic story of a man who is not always likable but the performances by Giamatti, Pike, and Dustin Hoffman has his policeman father over the decades are magnificent.