The Worst Movies of 2011

The Worst Movies of 2011

Posted on December 30, 2011 at 10:13 am

I was lucky to miss several of the films that have been showing up on worst lists for 2011, especially “Jack and Jill” with Adam Sandler (and Al Pacino!), already the clear front-runner for the Razzies.  But I was able to put together a list of miserable failures that are awful enough.  To get on my annual worst list, it is not enough for the movie just to be terrible.  It has to be downright atrocious, showing contempt for the audience or otherwise violating the bond between those who make movies and those who buy tickets to see them — the promise that they will make the best and truest movies they can.

1.  “Mars Needs Moms” One of the biggest money-losers of all time, this motion-capture film failed visually, with its human characters disturbingly unexpressive.  But it was the storyline that was the real problem, with weirdly retro gender politics and unnecessarily unsettling peril.

2. “Arthur” One of two unnecessary remakes on the list, this one gets extra badness points for terrible use of Nick Nolte and Helen Mirren.

3. “Just Go With It” Adam Sandler’s even more unnecessary remake of the delightful “Cactus Flower” is appallingly clueless about its own offensiveness, with even the good guy characters portrayed as heartless mercenaries.

4.  “Zookeeper” This talking animal movie about a lovelorn zookeeper substitutes “frickin'” for stronger language to get a PG rating but forgets to substitute wit and heart for the inane and insulting screenplay.  Extra badness points for wasting the talents of not just stars Kevin James and Rosario Dawson, Ken Jeong (a humiliatingly shrill, borderline racist caricature), Donnie Wahlberg as an animal-abusing zoo staffer, and voice talents Nick Nolte (again!), Cher, Sylvester Stallone, and Don Rickles.

5. “Red Riding Hood”  Oh, Grandma, what a big, bad movie this one is.  I had to invoke the infamous Gothika Rule to save audiences the misery of sitting through it.

6. “I Don’t Know How She Does It”  I don’t know why they made it.  One of the worst mistakes a film can make is overestimating the appeal of its characters.  This film insults working mothers and human beings everywhere.

7. “What’s Your Number?” We are supposed to root for the heroine to realize she has not thrown herself away in a series of unpleasant and demeaning sexual encounters.  But she has.

8.  “Hall Pass” Perpetually childish men are constantly chastened and terrified by scary mommies with daunting sexual demands.  Bad times!

9.  “Sucker Punch” Not so much punch, but a lot of sucker.  Hint: if the theme of the movie is female empowerment, heels and spangled miniskirts subvert the message.  And the best images were taken from artist Ashley Wood.

10. “Bad Teacher” Bad movie.

Dishonorable mention: “Crazy Stupid Love” for spoiling a clever comedy with misogyny and a pervily positive portrayal of a teenage girl giving nude photos of herself to a middle schooler, and “Anonymous” for incoherent story-telling and sheer stupidity in its portrayal of just about everyone including Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth.  The two worst movies for children: “The Smurfs” (Joan Rivers cameo?  Really?)  and “Hop” (a Hugh Hefner sexy bunny joke?  Really??)

 

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Lists
Top 10 List for 2011

Top 10 List for 2011

Posted on December 28, 2011 at 6:02 pm

There were more sequels and remakes released in 2011 than ever before, but that wasn’t the only reason for feeling a sense of deja vu over the past 12 months.  This year we had two films with almost identical plots about a couple who decide to to have a relationship that is just sex, no emotion.  Spoiler alert: in both “Friends with Benefits” and “No Strings Attached” they end up falling in love.  We had two films about sad little boys who lost their fathers trying to solve a mystery involving a key.  Both were based on acclaimed novels and both were excellent: “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” and “Hugo.”  We had two films about the parents of teenage boys who shot and killed students in their high schools.  I preferred “Beautiful Boy” with Michael Sheen and Maria Bello but most of the critics liked “We Need to Talk About Kevin” with John C. Reilly and Tilda Swinton.  And we had six films featuring superb and very different performances from an actress who was unknown in 2010, Jessica Chastain.  Michael Fassbender, who made an impression as a British officer in Inglourious Basterds, had a stunning array of roles this year in “Jane Eyre,” “X-Men: First Class,” “Shame,” and “A Dangerous Method.”

But, as there are every year, there are movies so fresh and surprising that they seem to re-invent the very idea of movies.  I begin each year looking forward to what’s ahead but most of all looking forward to knowing that 365 days later there will be people and images and dialog and ideas so vital and engaging I can hardly remember what it was like before I knew them.  I would not have expected Woody Allen’s new movie to be surprisingly good or Pixar’s and Michel Gondry’s would be disappointing.  It was good to know that Alexander Payne and Martin Scorsese can still be relied on.  I had high hopes that were met or exceeded for films like “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” and “Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol.”  For the first time, four master film-makers worked in 3D.  Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, Werner Herzog, and Wim Wenders showed us that a gifted filmmaker can make 3D into more than a stunt — they used it as another way to enhance the story.  And if you had told me that my top 10 list this year would be led by movie that was not only black and white but silent, I would have looked around for a time machine.

Here’s my tribute to the best of 2011, all close to being tied for first place.  And I’m already looking forward to being surprised by the movies in 2012.

 

1. “The Artist”  While Hollywood was abandoning a century of film to move to digital filmmaking, French writer/director Michel Hazanavicius took us back to another time of technological change.  It recalled themes in classic films “Singin’ in the Rain” and “A Star is Born” with such affection, charm, and heart that it left us asking why we ever thought sound and color were anything but superfluous.

2. “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” A boy who loses his father in 9/11 looks for answers in this touching story based on the book by Jonathan Safran Foer.  Viola Davis and Max von Sydow are heartbreaking as two of the people he meets on his search.

3. “Hugo” Another fatherless boy and other search involving a key — Martin Scorsese’s first 3D movie and first movie for families is an immersive, rapturous valentine to the movies.

4. “Beginners” Christopher Plummer plays a man who comes out at age 72 and Ewan McGregor plays his son in this wry, wise story based on writer/director Mike Mills’ own life.

5. “Win Win” Tom McCarthy (“The Station Agent”) wrote and directed this story of a struggling lawyer who takes advantage of a client with dementia and ends up taking care of the client’s grandson, a gifted wrestler.

6. “Cave of Forgotten Dreams” The Chauvet cave has paintings of astonishing skill and beauty made by humans 30,000 years ago, but so fragile that the only way for us to see them now is in this 3D documentary from Werner Herzog.

7. “Super 8” Writer/director J.J. Abrams pays tribute to his mentor, producer Steven Spielberg, with the third film on my list that is a love letter to the movies.  In the 1970’s, a group of middle schoolers make a zombie movie on Super 8 film and accidentally get footage of a mysterious train crash.  While they wait for the film to be developed, they investigate.

8. “Margin Call” It all takes place on one tense night when an enormous Wall Street firm learns that it has massively underestimated its risk and then schemes to transfer that risk to their clients.  An all-star cast led by Kevin Spacey and Jeremy Irons and a script by first-time director J.C. Chandor keeps this specific enough to be real and timely but the dynamics are universal.

9. “Moneyball” Brad Pitt is brilliant as Billy Beane, who turned around the Oakland A’s and transformed baseball by using the team’s scarce resources to buy wins, not players.

10.  “The Adjustment Bureau”/”Source Code” We were lucky to have two smart and very romantic thrillers this year, with Matt Damon as a politician drawn to a dancer despite the best efforts of mysterious men in hats who “adjust” circumstances and Jake Gyllenhaal as a military officer sent back in time to catch a bomber.  

Runners-up: “Tree of Life,” “The Descendants,” “The Help,” “50/50,” “The Muppets,” “The Other F Word,” “Into the Abyss,” “Rango,” “Drive,” “Cedar Rapids,” “Hanna,” “We Bought a Zoo,” “Jane Eyre,” “Midnight in Paris,” “Bridesmaids,” “Another Earth”

Coming soon….the top 10 family films of the year and my Hall of Shame.  Stay tuned.

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Lists Understanding Media and Pop Culture
Movies to Ring in the New Year

Movies to Ring in the New Year

Posted on December 26, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Rotten Tomatoes has a list of New Year’s Movies.  Garry Marshall’s new all-star New Year’s Eve is by no means a classic, but it is sure to become an annual tradition.  Here is my list of  New Year’s Eve favorites.

When Harry Met Sally…is a sweet, funny love story starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal as two people who took a very long time to realize they were meant for each other.  A series of New Year’s Eves punctuate their developing relationship.

Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn star in Holiday, about an idealistic young man whose engagement to a wealthy girl is supposed to be announced at a New Year’s Eve party. Hepburn plays the girl’s sister, whose support for the engagement gets complicated when she begins to fall for him herself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eKBdR_1GY0

The Apartment, the bittersweet comedy about an ambitious man who lets the executives at his company use his apartment for their assignations won the Oscar for Best Picture. Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine star in this Billy Wilder classic.

The pilot episode of Futurama takes place on New Year’s Eve in the year 3000, and yes, Dick Clark (well, his head) makes a cameo appearance.

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Holidays Lists
Sherlock Holmes on Screen

Sherlock Holmes on Screen

Posted on December 14, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Sherlock Holmes is one of the most popular fictional characters of all time.  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a physician who also write science fiction, romance, and poetry, but he is best remembered for his creation of the detective with the prodigious powers of observation and deductive reasoning.  The most famous resident of 221B Baker Street has been portrayed in movies more than any other character, sometimes old, sometimes young, sometimes in Conan Doyle’s Victorian era, sometimes in modern times, in movies from Disney to Billy Wilder, portrayed by Oscar-winners and unknowns.  He inspired many other hyper-rational, hyper-observant characters like Nero Wolfe, Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple, House, and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo herself, Lisbeth Salander.  Reverend Desmond Tutu recently told Vanity Fair that Sherlock Holmes was his favorite fictional character.

As we prepare for the second film with Robert Downey, Jr. in the title role and Jude Law as his partner in crime-solving, Dr. Watson, it’s a good time to look at some of the best — and some of the strangest portrayers of the detective in the deerstalker hat and his doctor sidekick.  And let’s not forget O. Henry’s parody, Shamrock Jolnes and “Sesame Street’s” Sherlock Hemlock.

1. Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce portrayed Holmes and Watson in 14 films released between 1939-46.  The early films are true to the books but the later ones update the characters to the 1940’s, with plots related to WWII.

2. Nicolas Rowe and Alan Cox appeared in “Young Sherlock Holmes,” an underrated origin story film that has our heroes solving their first mystery together while they are still in boarding school.

3. George C. Scott and Joanne Woodward In “They Might be Giants” a mental patient who thinks he is Sherlock Holmes and his doctor (she’s a woman, but she is named Watson) investigate the mystery of reality and what we call sanity.

4. Barrie Ingham and Val Bettin Disney’s animated “The Great Mouse Detective” is the story of mice who live on Baker Street with Sherlock Holmes (voiced by Basil Rathbone).  Inspired by their flatmate, they solve the mystery of a clockwork creation that was substituted for the Queen of the Mice.  The villain is portrayed by the silky-voiced Vincent Price.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=004282khD1E

5. Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman A British miniseries updates the setting to the 21st century, with Holmes and Watson solving mysteries in the era of laptops and cell phones.

6. Nicol Williamson and Robert Duvall One of the most fascinating versions of the Holmes stories is “The Seven Percent Solution,” which has Watson doing an intervention and taking Holmes to consult with Sigmund Freud (Alan Arkin) about his use of cocaine.  Of course once he is there he gets involved in another mystery, the kidnapping of another of Freud’s patients.

7. Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke The popular British minseries is a perennial favorite on PBS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX6a–uu6QM

8. Robert Stephens and Colin Blakely Legendary writer-director Billy Wilder co-wrote and directed “The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes,” with a story inspired in part by Conan Doyle’s “The Bruce-Partington Plans.”  There is an excellent score by Miklos Rozsa.

9. Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman Douglas Wilmer and Thorley Walters play Holmes and Watson but the stars of “Young Frankenstein” have the lead roles in “Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother,” a wild comedy about “Sigerson Holmes” and his efforts to surpass his famous older sibling.

10. Christopher Lee and Patrick Macnee Made-for-British-television movies show us an older Holmes and Watson in “Sherlock Holmes and the Leading Lady” and “Sherlock Holmes and the Incident at Victoria Falls.”

Special bonus radio version: Sir John Gielgud as Holmes, Sir Ralph Richardson as Watson and Orson Welles as Professor Moriarty.

 

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