Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 5:59 pm

Dear Michael Bay,
Just because you were able to turn one Saturday cartoon series for children into a PG-13 blockbuster, based on nostalgia on the part of its now-teen and 20-something audience and some world class special effects, does not mean that you can do the same with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This is less “Transformer” and more “Yogi Bear” or “Scooby-Doo.” In other words, step away from “Shirt Tales” and “The Wuzzles.” Please, just stop. Sincerely, The Movie Mom

Before it wore or, or, more accurately, wore down its welcome, the original “Transformers” was a refreshing surprise that kept the spirit of the original series. But even as a cartoon show, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were meta and self-referential and cutesy. I mean, just look at the concept: they’re turtles. And ninjas. And teenagers. You can blow them up into CGI behemoths, but they still can’t make a movie work, even by bringing back the original star of the first “Transformers” movie, Megan Fox.

Fox plays April O’Neil, a would-be investigative reporter relegated by her condescending colleagues to cutesy stories like exercising on mini-trampolines in Times Square. She would much rather be reporting on a powerful and merciless gang of criminals known as the Foot Clan. No one believes her when she says she saw a super-strong vigilante in the shadows, fighting the Foot Clan, including her editor (a “what is she doing in this movie?” Whoopi Goldberg). It turns out she has a connection to this mysterious crime-fighter. Her father was a scientist who died in a tragic lab accident as he was working on a special strength-giving serum by injecting it into four young turtles. The night the lab burned down, April rescued the turtles and a rat by letting them escape into the sewer.

A handy martial arts manual found in the sewer gives the rat, known as Splinter (voice of “Monk’s” Tony Shaloub) the chance to train the young turtles, and the effects of the injections make them grow up to be large, muscular, and able to stand upright. Each of the four has a different color mask and a Smurf-like individual personality quirk. But they all love pizza.

The action scenes are well-staged, especially a snowy chase scene, though I have no idea where the snow came from as we only see snow outside the city. But the script is lame and the violence is too intense for anyone old enough to be interested. A slumming William Fitchner plays an industrialist who is not as philanthropic as he seems. And the scenes with an even-more slumming Will Arnett (what happened to his career?), whose two functions are to drive April around and be generally skeezy about his interest in her, are just painful. April strives to be taken seriously as a journalist. Fox, sadly, fails to be taken seriously as an actress (which she really is — see “This is 40”).

And the title characters are under-used as well. For a movie about the TMNTs, they just don’t have enough to do beyond loving pizza and kicking bad guys. Whatever charm existed in the original cartoons is trampled by this over-blown bore.

Parents should know that this film includes cartoon-style action, peril, and violence, sad off-screen death of a parent, some brief disturbing images, some crude humor and a brief potty joke.

Family discussion: Why didn’t anyone take April seriously? Which turtle is your favorite and why?

If you like this, try: the TMNT cartoon series and the earlier films

Into the Storm

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 5:48 pm

Let’s get this out of the way up front. It’s no “Twister,” which is not just the “Citizen Kane” of tornado movies, but a loveably cheesy thrill ride of a film that holds up very well even though its then-cutting edge special effects (that flying cow!) are no longer as surprising. But “Into the Storm” is an efficient little thrill ride of its own, tapping into fears about the ramped-up rage of post climate change storms.

A swift 90 minutes gives them 20 minutes to introduce the characters, their capabilities and vulnerabilities, 50 minutes of buildup, and 40 minutes of action.

There’s a brief prologue letting us know how deadly a tornado can be. And then the characters are sketched in quickly with just enough of a story to help us tell them apart and give them some motivations and lessons to learn.

The hometown characters: Gary (Richard Armitage), a single father who is the assistant principal in an Oklahoma high school. His two sons, the shy Donnie (Max Deacon), and Trey (Nathan Kress of “iCarly”), are supposed to be at school to made a video of the graduation ceremony. But Donnie gets the chance to help out the girl he has a crush on, Kaitlyn (Alycia Debnam Carey), by helping her get some video footage at an abandoned factory.

The storm chasers: Pete (“Veep’s” Matt Walsh), in a specially equipped tank outfitted with two dozen cameras and grappling claws, is about to lose his funding if he cannot provide storm footage. In a van, a meteorologist named Allison (Sarah Wayne Callies) checks her monitors and worries about the five year old daughter she has left with her parents. There are some assistants and camera operators on board as well. We don’t need to get to know them too well. We do get to see a “promotional video” about the vehicle so we can get a sense of its special features, including a turret set up to capture “a sight nobody but God has witnessed, the eye of the tornado.”

Oh, and there’s also a pair of idiots who like to think up dumb stunts and post them on YouTube.

There’s not a lot of creativity in the characters. There is even less in the dialog, which relies heavily on disaster-movie standards. “What used to be a once in a lifetime storm happens about once a year now,” an expert explains. “I’ve never seen anything like this.” Followed by, “This is the biggest tornado I’ve ever seen.” But what we’re here for is the stunts and special effects, and those are just fine, from the small details like a little girl’s pink bicycle impaled on the side of a truck to a wind tunnel of fire and an entire car lot of vehicles tossed up into the air like ping pong balls in a juggling act. Our most fundamental notions of physics are continually upended. The pull of gravity is no match for the fury of the storm. And that, after all, is what we came to see.

Parents should know that this film includes very intense and sometimes graphic and disturbing scenes of massive storm, with extended damage and constant peril, characters injured and killed, and some strong language and crude references.

Family discussion: Which character changed the the most over the course of the movie and why? What would you say if you thought they would be your last words?

If you like this, try: “Twister” and the documentary “Storm Chasing The Year of the EF-5: an Epic Journey Through Tornado Alley”

Guardians of the Galaxy

Posted on July 31, 2014 at 5:59 pm

A-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for some language
Profanity:	Some strong and crude language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Drinking
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended comic book/action-style peril and violence with weapons and fights, many characters injured and killed, brief disturbing images
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	August 1, 2014
Date Released to DVD:	December 8, 2014
Amazon.com ASIN:	B00N1JQ452

This is the most purely entertaining film of the year, a joyous space romp that all but explodes off the screen with lots of action and even more charm.

Our recent superheros have been complex, often anguished, even downright tortured. It has been a while since we’ve had a charming rogue with a bad attitude but a hero’s heart. Enter Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), who keeps trying to get people to call him Star Lord and who carries with him on his interplanetary space travels the “awesome mixtape” he was listening to as a young boy on Earth back in the 1980’s, when his mother died and a spaceship came to suck him up from the ground and take him far, far away. One of the purest pleasures of the film is the soundtrack of 70’s gems like “Ooh Child,” “Come and Get Your Love,” and “Hooked on a Feeling” (the ooga-chacka Blue Swede version) and some others too delicious to give away, wittily juxtaposed with spaceships and aliens.

In a scene that pays homage to the classic opening of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and with a personality that owes a lot to Harrison Ford’s irresistible space rogue Han Solo, Quill enters a chamber and steals a precious orb from a pedestal, only to be stopped by Korath (Djimon Hounsou) and some other scary-looking guys with sci-fi gun-looking things. A lot of people want the orb and are willing to take extreme measures. Evil wants-to-control-the-galaxy guy Ronan (Lee Pace) sends the beautiful but deadly green assassin Gamora (Zoe Saldana, who seems to specialize in colorful space characters) to get it. Also interested are superthief Rocket Racoon, a genetically modified procyonid (voiced by Bradley Cooper) and his sidekick Groot, an enormous, self re-generating talking tree (voice of Vin Diesel). Groot can only say one existential sentence, but it is remarkably expressive. Then there’s Drax (Dave Bautista), who just wants to destroy pretty much everyone, but especially Ronan, who killed his family. He is completely literal, with no capacity to process metaphor (except when the script calls for him not to be, but no need to get overly focused on consistency here).

This motley crew ends up in prison together, where they form a bond through an elaborate escape plan and a lot of quippy dialogue. The low-key, unpretentious “Bad News Bears”/”Dirty Dozen” vibe is refreshing after so much sincerity and angst in the superhero genre. It hits the sweet spot, irreverent without being snarky. And because it is set away from earth we are spared the usual scenes of destroying iconic skylines and monuments. Instead we get a range of richly imagined exotic settings and wild characters, though Lee Pace is under too much make-up and is stuck with a one-note character as Ronan. It is a shame that the bad guy is not as delightfully off-kilter as the good guys, but with five of them, there is plenty to keep us entertained. I don’t want to get too picky (see consistency note above), but the orb’s purpose and powers don’t seem to be thought through too well, either. I don’t ask for much from a McGuffin, just that it (1) propel the storyline and (2) not interfere with the storyline. This one doesn’t quite meet #2.

But deliciously entertaining it still is, with a long-overdue star-making role for Pratt, who has been the best thing in too many second-tier movies and outstanding but under-noticed in top-level films like “Moneyball” and “Zero Dark Thirty.” Director James Gunn, who also co-scripted with first-timer Nicole Perlman, has made the summer popcorn movie of 2014, tremendous fun, and with more heart that we have any reason to expect. Can’t wait for the just-announced part 2.

Parents should know that this film has extended (and quite cool) science fiction/comic book/action-style peril, violence, and action with fighting and various weapons, some characters injured and killed, some disturbing images, some sexual references, and some strong language (two f-words).

Family discussion: What makes this group especially suitable for taking on Ronan? How does this movie differ from other superhero/comic book films?

If you like this, try: “Men in Black” and “The Avengers”

Planes: Fire & Rescue

Posted on July 17, 2014 at 5:59 pm

The visuals are stunning, the details are witty, the 3D effects are splendid, the songs are lively, the voice actors are top-notch, but the storyline feels like an episode of “Thomas the Tank Engine.” That’s when it was still analog and old-school and before it went to animation, but still — especially as the gender politics of this film are uncomfortably old-school as well.

Last year’s Planes added another mode of transportation to the charmingly retro world of Cars. A plucky crop-duster named Dusty (Dane Cook) learned to race and became a champion. As this movie begins, he is an international superstar. But his vintage gearbox has been worn down by the races, and no replacement is available. Dusty is going to have to find something that is as meaningful to him as racing.

When he accidentally starts a fire at Piston Peak National Park, Dusty sees that old Mayday (Hal Holbrook), the fire and rescue truck is not quite up to the task. More important, he is not up to code. The stern Transportation Management Safety Team inspector informs them that they need more capacity if they are going to stay in business. That means some upgrades for Mayday and it also means a second firefighter. Dusty feels responsible. And if he cannot race, he has to find something new to do, to help make up for his mistake. So he agrees to take the training to become a certified fire fighter.

Dusty is welcomed by the team, including the flirtatious Lil Dipper (“Modern Family’s” Julie Bowen), the heavy-lift helicopter Windlifter (Wes Studi), ex-military transport Cabbie (Captain Dale Dye) and The Smokejumpers, a brave collection of all-terrain vehicles who leap out of the planes and parachute down to the fire. But he stern Blade Ranger (Ed Harris), who is in charge of the training facility, is not at all sure Dusty is up to the task.

The action sequences are very well staged and the effects, especially the water and sky images, are truly astonishing. The usual pun-studded, meta humor for the series shows up throughout, from the show business trade news magazine titled “Cariety” to a female vehicle dismissing a lame come-on with a cool, “Pick-up trucks!” The choicest surprise is a videotape with a car-ified version of a classic television series, with that very recognizable series star contributing a character voice. Of course the television show appeared in the late 70’s-early 80’s, so it is likely to be over the heads of today’s children and their parents, too.

The real villain here is the fire, of course, but there is also a comic villain, a pompous administrator voiced by John Michael Higgins. But the movie never works up much interest in him or his schemes, and the post-credits stinger barely stings.

More troubling is the poor treatment of the female characters, despite being called out for that same problem in the first one. At least in the original, the female characters were capable and independent. Poor Bowen is relegated here to a role that recalls the man-chasing stereotypes of television in the 1960’s, often played by Rose Marie or Ann B. Davis. She is constantly trying to tell Dusty that they are on a date and, when he politely says they will be going as a group, dementedly agrees that it is a good thing for her to meet his friends until he reminds her that the firefighting team members are her friends. And a major plot twist occurs when the previously ultra-capable mechanic voiced by Teri Hatcher is casually outdone by a male character. It’s completely unnecessary, it subverts the primary premise of the storyline, and it demeans the female mechanic for no reason. It isn’t Dusty who’s got filings in his gearbox. It’s the script.

Parents should know that this film includes peril, including fire, collapsing bridge, rapids, engine failure, action and some violence (no one irreparably hurt, but a reference to a sad death), and some bathroom humor.

Family discussion: Who in this movie has to decide how to handle it when their plans do not work out? How do you think about your own back-up plans? What does “better than new” mean?

If you like this, try: “Cars” and “Planes”

Related Tags:

3D Animation Fantasy Series/Sequel

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Posted on July 10, 2014 at 6:00 pm

All hail Caesar!

The intelligence-enhanced ape from Rise of the Planet of the Apes takes center stage in this sequel, which begins ten years after the last film. The virus we saw infecting the human population has now wiped out almost all human life. The assorted apes, led by Caesar, have asserted their primacy over other animals. In the opening scene, we see them hunting with spears they have crafted, killing a bear, and riding on horses. They live in homes they have constructed from logs, communicate — mostly via sign language — teach their children the alphabet in school, and have an organized society, with Caesar as their leader. They demonstrate loyalty and tenderness. They adorn themselves; Caesar’s mate wears a small crown.

Ceasar is played by the brilliant motion-capture actor/artist Andy Serkis and the CGI work of the geniuses at Weta Digital. The seamless integration of the CGI characters and the human characters and the subtlety of the apes’ eyes and facial expressions brings us straight into the story, underscored by the immersive 3D. It is dramatic, not stuntish, with the possible exception of some spear-throwing toward the screen.

The film recalls old-school cowboys-and-Indians westerns, with the apes riding into battle on horses and the humans and their armory holed up in the ruins of San Francisco like it is Fort Apache. Then the apes get the guns, and everything escalates fast. The film wisely gives both groups of primates a range of characters, some wise and trustworthy, some bigoted and angry. Both species have to learn that respect has to be based on character and actions, not on genetics. The division is not between man and ape but between those who can envision a future with cooperation and trust and those who cannot.

There are some thoughtful details. The destroyed city tells the story of a decade of unthinkable loss and also of great courage. A dropped sketchbook conveys information that in a world without mass communications is revelatory. A long-unheard CD plays The Band and we see the humans react, thinking of where they were the last time they heard it and what access to electricity could mean for them now. The humans have the advantage of knowing how to create and use power; they also have the disadvantage of needing it.

In the midst of the battle, there is a quiet moment when a small mixed group hides out together in a location with a lot of resonance from the previous film. It lends a solemnity to the story, even a majesty, that gives it weight. Even those who seem from our perspective to be making decisions that are disastrously wrong do so for reasons we can understand. The action is compelling but it is the ideas behind them that hold us.

Parents should know that this film includes constant peril and violence, post-apocalyptic themes and images, many characters injured and killed, guns, fire, drinking, smoking, and some strong language.

Family discussion: Why were there so many different opinions within both the ape and the human communities? How did they choose their governing structure? Why didn’t Carver want to listen to Ellie’s explanation of the source of the virus?

If you like this, try: the original “Apes” movies to compare not just the stories but the technology used by the filmmakers