MacGruber

Posted on September 7, 2010 at 8:13 am

A one-joke “Saturday Night Live” skit based on a television series that ended in 1992 has been turned into a no-joke movie that ended 99 painful minutes after it began. It is of interest only to people who think that 80’s references like mullet haircuts, Blaupunkt removable automobile cassette players, soft rock, and many many many potty jokes are always hilarious.
“MacGyver” was a television series about a secret agent who could take a gum wrapper and a bottle of nail polish remover and make it into some very clever device to defeat any threat from any enemy, no matter how high-tech. The series emphasized problem-solving and science over weapons. And now the little boys who grew up watching MacGyver think it is hilarious to trash him by making him into an arrogant idiot.
The SNL skits invariably and tediously show MacGruber (co-writer Will Forte) trying to defuse some bomb with household items only to fail and have it blow everyone up. The movie draws not just from the skits but from a range of 80’s action film conventions. MacGruber is a one-time action hero who has retired to a life of spiritual contemplation after his bride (Maya Rudolph) was murdered at their wedding. He gets a visit from Colonel James Faith (a steely Powers Boothe) and Lt. Dixon Piper (Ryan Phillippe), asking him to return to service to go after a bad guy played by a beefy and ponytailed Val Kilmer whose character name happens to sound like an extremely crude term for the female anatomy.
MacGruber swings like a pendulum between grandiose self-aggrandizement and humiliating self-abasement. Both are excruciating. He rounds up a team of very big men (played by WWE stars) but accidentally blows them to smithereens so has to work with Piper and his late wife’s best friend Vicky St. Elmo (Get it? Another 80’s reference!), played by the divine Kristen Wiig, who is the movie’s only bright spot. Even the blue eyeshadow and feathered blonde hair can’t hide her brilliance and beauty.
Those for whom the 80’s were not epochal will be bored when they are not being grossed out. Or both at the same time. On the other hand, those who find the idea of a man sticking a stalk of celery in his butt and walking around with his pants off so hilarious that they want to see it twice will be delighted.

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Angelina Ballerina: Love to Dance

Posted on August 31, 2010 at 10:00 am

Angelina Ballerina: Love to Dance, the first chance to see the new CGI makeover for everyone’s favorite dancing mouse, comes out this week. I have three DVDs to give away and a special prize for everyone who writes to me. Read on for details.

The DVD features:

“Angelina’s New School ” – Angelina is excited, yet nervous, about her first day of school at Camembert Academy . When she finds her new classmates proficient in other styles of dance, she tries to copy their moves – without success. Angelina soon discovers that when she’s true to her own style of dance – ballet – she excels, and soon understands that everyone is different, and different is good.

“Angelina’s Dance Partner” – Angelina is ecstatic to have the opportunity to dance with her best friend, Alice, at Camembert Academy ‘s “Dance With a Partner Day.” Angelina likes to choreograph the routine down to the very last detail and Alice is happy to oblige! Unfortunately, when Alice gets the sniffles Angelina must partner with Viki, whose style of improvisation contradicts with Angelina’s style. Angelina learns the importance of collaboration, cooperation and adaptability when working with a partner.

“Angelina’s Oldest Friend” – Angelina loves her new Camembert Academy friends and also loves her old friend Alice. She expects that both sets of friends will love each other too. Unfortunately, their first encounter is not as smooth as Angelina would have liked so the new and old friends work together to find a new way to play so all can have fun.

“Angelina’s Sleepover” – Angelina, Viki and Gracie decide to have a sleepover the night before a rehearsal for the big performance, but they do everything except sleep! The next day they are too tired for the morning rehearsal and have to choose between an afternoon rehearsal or attending the annual Silly Hat Carnival, a fun tradition in Mouseland. Angelina and her friends decide to rehearse and learn that being prepared is the best fun of all!

“Angelina and the Hip Hop Kid” – Angelina is very excited to be directing her very first Hip Hop Show when suddenly her star, AZ, falls and hurts his foot! Who can step into his shoes at the last minute? Marco is the number one choice. However, though he can play Hip Hop music, dancing Hip Hop is another thing. The show is in danger of not going on… unless Angelina can come up with a solution in time!

Bonus features are the “Angelina Says” Game and two music videos: “Get Up and Dance” and “I Will Be A Star”

Send me an email at moviemom@moviemom.com with Ballerina in the subject line and tell me why you love to dance. Don’t forget to include your address. The first three will receive the DVD and everyone who writes will get a special coloring page about Angelina Ballerina.

Astro Boy

Posted on March 17, 2010 at 8:00 pm

A show of hands, everyone. If you think it’s a good idea to begin a movie for children by killing off a young boy in an industrial accident as his father looks on, raise your hand. Anyone?
I didn’t think so. And yet, that is how Astro Boy comes to be in this updated version of the Japanese animated series that achieved popularity in the U.S. as a television series in various versions over the years and more recently as a computer game. The title character (voice by an Americanized Freddie Highmore) is a robot re-boot created by brilliant scientist Dr. Tenma (voice of Nicolas Cage) to replace his son Toby, who was killed at Dr. Tenma’s lab when he tried to get in to see an experiment. Devastated by the loss, the scientist creates a super-robot programmed with the memory and mind of his dead child. And then he rejects the robot as an inadequate substitute. Even if the rest of the movie were “The Care Bears Meet My Little Pony,” the loss and grief of the first 20 minutes are so totally dissonant that the film cannot recover.
It’s like “Pinocchio” crossed with “Blade Runner” as Astro Boy goes through an existential crisis in discovering that he may have Toby’s memories and emotions, but he also has hands and butt cheeks that turn into artillery. He ends up being treated as a human by robots and a robot by the humans he meets, abandoned children living on the planet that everyone else has left because it is deemed no longer habitable (and yet somehow they are able to order pizza). In the midst of all of the shoot-outs there are some moments that have charm and some images that show some wit, especially an enormous junked robot that Astro brings back to life with a charge from his blue power source (unfortunately carrying the initials of an anti-Semitic conspiracy theory). But then the President (voice of Donald Sutherland) wants to use Astro’s technology for evil, and everything comes down to shooting. Any nuance or imagination or point is lost in the battle, and so is any reason to see this film.

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Gilligan’s Island: The Movie

Posted on March 14, 2010 at 8:00 am

Apparently, a new version of “Gilligan’s Island” is coming to the big screen. My regular readers already know the reason for my special attachment to the show. I’m a bit concerned as the writer is the same guy who gave us the horrible Wild Hogs, but I am intrigued by original producer Sherwood Schwartz’s suggested casting of Michael Cera as Gilligan and Beyonce as Ginger. Watch the original pilot for “Gilligan’s Island” on the Warner’s website.

The New York Times, People and Entertainment Weekly have their dream casts in the current issues.

What do you think? Will it be any good? Who will be in it?

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Star Trek

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 8:00 am

A-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action and violence, and brief sexual content
Profanity:	Brief strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Scenes in bar, drinking
Violence/ Scariness:	A lot of sci-fi and action violence,
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	May 8, 2009
Date Released to DVD:	May 13, 2013
Amazon.com ASIN:	B001TH16DI

Get ready for this week’s “Star Trek” release with another look at this splendid reboot of the 40-plus year old “Star Trek” series. By boldly going where many, many have gone before, J.J. Abrams of television’s “Lost” and “Alias” has managed to make a thoroughly entertaining film that respects the fans but stands on its own.

Those who will nod knowingly (or shiver with excitement) at the appearance of Captain Pike or the reference to dilitheum crystals and those who remember that Sulu can fence will be reassured that any anomalies or inconsistencies with canon are cleverly explained away and by the appearance of one key member of the original cast. Those who are new to the franchise will be reassured that the story is self-contained. They may wonder why people applaud and laugh at a few in-jokes or the inevitable origins moments of first encounters between characters whose future interactions and relationships are as well known as their own (possibly better), but there is so much happening on screen they will not have time to wonder what they are missing. Indeed, there is so much that I have seen it twice already and look forward to seeing it again. I loved it so much I wanted to Vulcan mind meld with it.

Some things will always be true. The crewman you’ve never seen before who transports to a remote location with two of the lead character is not going to last long. In the future, women will all wear very short skirts and be extremely beautiful. All planets are congenial for human life, with just the right atmosphere and gravity. Fights usually occur on catwalks and other locations with precipitous drops. Kirk has to be hanging from a ledge at least three times and have an encounter with an exotic but very beautiful lady. And everybody speaks English, except when Uhura has to show off her translation skills.

Fans are in for some surprises, especially with one romantic relationship. But Abrams is very consistent with the original show’s tone and humanistic themes. Bad guy Nero (Eric Bana) would be right at home with Khan. The characters and the actors who portray them find the right balance, portraying rather than imitating. I say this with the most tender regard for the television series — every one of these performances is better than the original, especially Zachary Quinto as the half- human, half-Vulcan Spock, Chris Pine as Kirk, Karl Urban as the perpetually choleric McCoy, Simon Pegg as a cheerful Scotty, and Zoe Saldana as Uhura. And of course even the series’ biggest enthusiasts would not claim that the special effects were its strong point. This movie’s are stunning. The story wobbles a bit, especially when one decision with potentially catastrophic consequences is explained away as a life lesson for two of the characters. But it is funny, smart, exciting, purely entertaining and enormously satisfying, and sure to be one of the year’s most enduring popcorn pleasures. The cast has signed on for two sequels and all I can say is, live long and prosper and they can beam me up any time.