The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Posted on April 26, 2012 at 6:00 pm

B+

Lowest Recommended Age:	Kindergarten - 3rd Grade
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for mild action, rude humor, and some language
Profanity:	A few bad words ("crap")
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Scene in bar
Violence/ Scariness:	Comic action-style violence
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	April 27, 2012
Date Released to DVD:	August 27, 2012
Amazon.com ASIN:	B0034G4P1W

The Pirate Captain (Hugh Grant) enjoys his life of adventure on the high seas, but there are a few problems. His crew is having a spirited debate about the best part of pirating – is it the cutlasses, the looting, the chance to catch exotic diseases, or ham night? Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton) has ordered the Royal Navy to get rid of all pirates.

Most important, the Pirate Captain really, really wants to win the coveted “Pirate of the Year” award, reasoning that because “Every time I’ve entered, I’ve failed to win. So, I must have a really good chance this time!” He does have a coffee mug that says “World’s Best Captain” and once won a ribbon for telling the best anecdote about a squid.

The wonderful folks at Aardman (“Chicken Run,” “Wallace and Gromit”) have created another deliriously silly stop-motion animation delight, filled with giddy pleasures and so many witty details flying by that you wish for a pause button. The “Pirate of the Year” application is whisked away quickly, but we get a glance at some of the items requested. Was the booty acquired by exciting adventure, a beauty contest, or perhaps in exchange for bonds? And what is the quality of the beard?

The Pirate Captain’s beard is certainly glossy and bushy enough to win a prize, but – it must be said – he is not up to some of the other candidates in other categories. Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven), Peg Leg Hastings (Lenny Henry), and the bling-sporting beauty Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek) are out front when it comes to ruthlessness, treasure, and the price on their heads. The Pirate Captain’s wanted poster shows a reward of just 12 doubloons and a free pen. He is not very good at selecting targets for robbery and pillage, boarding a ghost ship, a leper ship, and a boat carrying a school geography field trip.

The prospects for Pirate of the Year seem dim until the Pirate Captain boards another booty-less boat, this one carrying Charles Darwin (David Tennant), who recognizes that the Pirate Captain does have one important asset. It seems the Pirate Captain is as poor at ornithology as he is at treasure-detection. The bird he has insisted is a big-boned parrot named Polly is something much more exotic, and if he presents it to the scientific association and wins their Scientist of the Year award, the fame and fortune just might qualify him for Pirate of the Year!

But others are interested in the bird. Darwin and his trained monkey manservant Mr. Bobo, who communicates entirely via hilarious cue-card style signs and Queen Victoria herself want Polly as well. The various captures and rescues involve various disguises and Aardman’s sublimely inventive chase scenes, combining Rube Goldbergian intricacy with Jackie Chan timing. They also manage to bring in Jane Austen, the Elephant Man, Rubik’s Cube, The Clash, the classic elementary school science experiment combining vinegar and baking soda, and gourmet dining.

The pleasures we expect from an Aardman film are all here, including humor that manages to be both wild and understated. The silent Mr. Bobo, cautioned to be quiet, patiently holds up a second sign repeating the same word, but smaller. And the brilliantly executed action sequences dazzle. The chase scene through Darwin’s house has split-second timing through a museum’s worth of artifacts, including an Easter Island head. The bright and eclectic soundtrack includes very funny new song from Flight of the Conchords. And in the midst of all the action and comedy there is some warmth, even tenderness, as those clay faces become surprisingly expressive, and a moment of friendship and loyalty is genuinely touching.

The British Aardman refreshingly makes few concessions for American sensibilities (only the most devoted Anglophiles will catch the Blue Peter and Slocombe references) and none for children. Gideon Defoe’s screenplay, based on his series of books, is filled with the kind of humor that challenges as it amuses. But the distributor decided that Americans would be put off by the original title. It was released in the UK as “The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!” both funnier and more accurate. The switch to a more “marketable” generic title is disappointing for a film that so amply rewards its confidence in the audience.

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The Wedding of the Year: MLPFIM

Posted on April 18, 2012 at 3:13 pm

This Saturday, winged unicorn Princess Cadance and her handsome groom (bridal, not stable) Shining Armor will be married on “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” shown on The Hub. Children and the adult fans known as bronies and pegasisters will enjoy the hour-long special with all of Equestria coming out to celebrate. Visit the website to download the royal wedding party package.

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Animation Fantasy Television

Mirror Mirror

Posted on March 29, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Director Tarsem Singh Dhandwar has found a story worthy of his ravishing visuals and the result is an enchanting update of the classic fairy tale of Snow White.

Julia Roberts is clearly having a blast as the evil queen whose hostile takeover impulse is so strong she tells us from the beginning that we are hearing her version of the story. But we know from the first moment that our heroine will be the “pretentiously named” Snow White. She does commune with a songbird as the movie opens, but this is not the Snow White warbling by the wishing well about waiting for her prince or sleeping until she is rescued with a magical kiss. Sister is doing it for herself — sword fighting, leading a brave, if diminutive, gang of marauders, and doing some rescuing of her own.

Once upon a time there was a happy kingdom filled with music and dance. But after the king remarried, he disappeared, leaving the Queen to impose higher and higher taxes on the burdened populace and lock princess Snow White (Lily Collins of “The Blind Side”) in her room. When she timidly ventures out on her 18th birthday because there is to be a party in the castle, the Queen sneers, “Is there a fire in your bedroom? Because that would be the only reason for you to leave.”

The Queen is broke and desperately need to marry a wealthy royal, and for that she needs to use all of her magical powers to continue to appear young and beautiful. Prince Alcott (“Social Network” Winklevii-portrayer Armie Hammer) looks like the answer, despite his showing up without his clothes, having been robbed in the woods by seven mysterious accordion-legged marauders. But at the costume ball, he sees Snow White in a magnificent swan dress (don’t think Bjork, think faaabulous) and instantly knows that she is the fairest of them all.

But Snow has other issues on her mind, after her first venture outside the castle shows her what a cruel and selfish ruler her stepmother has been. She becomes an outlaw, joining forces with seven men short of stature but big of heart. And the Queen, aided by her sniveling courtier (who better for that role than Nathan Lane) tries to use every bit of magic and old fashioned evil to ensnare the Prince before the magic mirror — with help from a very tight corset, a disgusting beauty ritual, and a love potion — are no longer enough.

As Tarsem and sometimes Tarsem Singh, the director has made ads, music videos (REM’s “Losing My Religion”) and films like “The Fall” and “The Cell,” all filled with richly imagined images of striking beauty. Working with production designer Tom Foden and the late costume designer Eiko Ishioka, he has created a setting that is part Maxfield Parrish, part Richard Avedon, with gorgeous elegance and panache and with insight and meaning. The mirror is wonderfully constructed out of liquid that leads to a room where the Queen consults another version of herself. The costumes are not just splendid; they are witty and character-revealing, with the Queen a peacock and Snow White a swan. Hammer is handsome and unexpectedly funny. And Collins is luminous, genuinely magical as Snow White, sweet and brave, and it is a pleasure to watch her growing understanding of the world and her ability and responsibility to make it better. He keeps the tone irreverent, but never snarky. There are some funny lines (and one unnecessary and un-funny crude joke) and some modern twists, but the heart of the story in every way goes back to the original folk tales, especially a welcome new twist near the end. The Grimm brothers might not recognize some of the details of their classic fairy tale and Disney might be surprised by a princess who does not wait for her prince to come to get things done. But the themes of honor, justice, romance, and the search for a happily ever after ending are every bit as satisfying as the original.

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Wrath of the Titans

Posted on March 29, 2012 at 6:00 pm

C-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of fantasy violence and action
Profanity:	None
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Constant peril and violence with some disturbing images
Diversity Issues:	A strength of the movie is the portrayal of a courageous female warrior
Date Released to Theaters:	March 30, 2012
Amazon.com ASIN:	B005LAIH54

What I love best about classically trained British actors is that they are game for anything. Whether it is a commercial for cough drops or a silly comedy they always bring their A-game. Their timing and diction are impeccable and they are masters of tone. To use a favorite actor term, they commit. But when they commit to material so far beneath them the contrast is so great that they just make the failings of the production harder to overlook. Flawless line deliveries only go so far when the dialogue is more suitable for the declamatory stentorian tones of a Saturday morning cartoon version of “The Expendables” than voices more accustomed to iambic pentameter.

The original 1981 “Clash of the Titans” (featuring the most-acclaimed actor of his generation, Sir Laurence Olivier along with “L.A. Law” star Harry Hamlin along with Bond Girl Ursula Andress and the zenith of Ray Harryhausen’s analog special effects) and the 2010 remake with Oscar-winners Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes along with “Avatar’s” Sam Worthington and a lot of CGI have been succeeded by “Wrath of the Titans,” another uneasy mash-up of a sprinkle of distinguished actors, lots of beefcake, mythical monsters, and dialogue so ear-crashingly awful it is a step down from scripted awards-show presenter banter. “Go to hell!” says one character. “That’s exactly where I’m going,” says Perseus (Worthington). He’s on his way to Hades, get it? Since the majority of the box office for the first film was from outside the US, we can guess that perhaps the dubbed script is better.

Having released the Kracken and saved the day in the first episode, Perseus, the half human son of Zeus, is hoping for a quiet life as a fisherman with his young son. When Zeus (Neeson) comes to ask for his help, Perseus declines. But trouble comes his way as the era of the gods is ending, and Zeus is weakened so that his long-dormant father Cronus is poised to re-emerge and bring oblivion to all of humanity. Perseus will have to save the day again, and that means finding (and rescuing) his half-god cousin Agenor (Toby Kebbell channelling Russell Brand, and not in a good way), visiting Hepaestus (much-needed breath of fresh air Bill Nighy), the Olympian version of Q, to pick up some weapons, and facing some Hellenic monsters, including a giant cyclops, a minotaur, and some beast-ish creatures. There’s a lot of sound and fury and 3D spears pointing out from the screen but the storyline is muddled, with no consistency from moment to moment in character or even the basic properties of the Olympian world. The script is downright painful, with bromantic trash talk that would be more appropriate at a 2012 mall than a Bronze Age battlefield. “Shouldn’t you be posing for a statue or something?” “Bring me my lucky cape!” By the time Zeus and Hades (Fiennes) go into battle saying, “Let’s have some fun!” all we can think of is, “As if.”

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The Hunger Games

Posted on March 21, 2012 at 8:45 am

B+

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for intense violent thematic material and disturbing images -- all involving teens
Profanity:	Some mild language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Character abuses alcohol
Violence/ Scariness:	Constant and intense peril and violence, some graphic, sad deaths, many characters injured and killed
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	March 23, 2012
Date Released to DVD:	August 13, 2012
Amazon.com ASIN:	B0084IG8TM

Just as brave and loyal Katniss Everdeen is the heart of the wildly popular series of “Hunger Games” novels by Suzanne Collins, Jennifer Lawrence is the heart of this faithful adaptation. Director Gary Ross clearly understands the book and what makes its story of a dystopian future world where teenagers battle to the death on a grim reality show so compelling.

Lawrence, who was nominated for an Oscar for her role in the small independent film “Winter’s Bone,” plays Katniss, who cares for her widowed mother and tender-hearted young sister Prim (Willow Shields) in District 12, a poor mining community that is a part of Panem, the post-apocalyptic totalitarian state that encompasses what is now North America.

Lawrence gives a thoughtful, nuanced performance, showing us the conflicts Katniss feels as she adapts to her new challenges, some of which require her to be even tougher and more stoic than she was before but some that require her to unlock feelings her survival had previously required her to keep secret even from herself. She has a small dimple near the lower corner of her mouth that transforms her face when she smiles, and she uses it to show us Katniss’ heart as well as her determination.

Panem has an annual “reaping” where a boy and a girl are selected from each district to compete in the “Hunger Games,” a gruesome spectacle the citizens are forced to pretend to enjoy as entertainment. When Prim’s name is called, Katniss volunteers to take her place. The other “tribute” from District 12 is Peeta (Josh Hutcherson), the son of a baker.

They are taken to the Capital City and given luxurious accommodations while they prepare for the Games by trying to win sponsors (who can provide them with supplies) and getting advice from kind-hearted stylist Cinna (Lenny Kravitz) and previous District 12 champion Haymitch (Woody Harrelson), a cynical man who cannot face training another pair of doomed teenagers without getting drunk. “Embrace the probability of your imminent death and know in your heart that there is nothing I can do to save you,” he tells them. But as he gets to know Katniss, he cannot help but admire her skill as an archer and he begins to care enough to give her some guidance.

The preliminary activities include an Olympic-style opening parade and the appearance on a gruesome simulacrum of a talk show, where the “tributes” pretend that they are excited and proud to be participating in the Games. Stanley Tucci is a standout as the oily host with a blue pompadour and a laugh as fake as his teeth.

The preparation stage also gives the participants a chance to get a look at the competition, including some who have spent their lives training in hand-to-hand combat and survival skills. And Katniss gets a chance to talk to Peeta, who tells her that he does not expect to win, but he wants to prove something. “If I’m going to die, I want to still be me.”

The “tributes” are released into the woods knowing that in two weeks 23 of them will be dead. There are some wary and by definition temporary alliances between contestants and at first Katniss thinks that Peeta is helping the others track her down and kill her. She meets the tiny but spirited and clever Rue (a memorable Amandla Stenberg), who saves her life. The days go by, cannons firing to mark the deaths of the participants, and as there are fewer and fewer left, it is harder to stay alive.

Production designer Philip Messina provides some striking visuals, particularly in the Capital City, but more important is the way the design helps shape the story, from the grimy poverty of District 12 to the heightened artificiality of the Capital City, the ultra high-tech control center, and the sometimes deceptive naturalism of the forest where the Games take place. The settings frame the story well and the action scenes are exciting, even visceral. And Lawrence keeps pulling us into the story, making its most outlandish elements feel real and meaningful.

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