That’s My Boy

Posted on June 14, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Oscar Wilde’s famous story The Picture of Dorian Gray is about a dissolute young man who retains his youthful beauty as his portrait, hidden in the attic, shows his face becoming more aged and corrupt. I can’t help thinking that somewhere there is a young Adam Sandler while we watch his screen persona grow more and more repulsively scrofulous. As revolting as this movie is — and it is truly and deeply loathsome — that isn’t the worst part. More offensive than the disgusting attempts at humor that debase every life form is the utter contempt for the audience that shows in every lazy and incompetent frame and line of dialogue, with Sandler’s lines all said in that horrible comic voice he uses to show he is playing a stupid person. And more depressing than all of that is the horrific sight of Sandler’s insistence on creating the most unpleasant character imaginable and then having all of the other characters find him irresistible.

I have no problem with humor that is politically incorrect or even offensive (see my review of “The Dictator”) if there is some intelligence behind it and some point to be made. But this movie’s “comedy” has less wit than a two-year old making diaper jokes. He is not pushing boundaries and challenging assumptions. He is making fun of fat naked people. It is vile.

Sandler plays Donny, a man who was seduced by his middle school teacher (Eva Amurri Martino) when he was 12. She became pregnant, and since she was serving a 30-year sentence, he got custody of their son before he was in high school. And so he named the baby “Han Solo” and gave him candy for breakfast. Most of the movie takes place when the boy, now using the name “Todd Peterson” (Andy Samberg) is about to get married to Jamie (Leighton Meester, looking like Winnie from “The Wonder Years”). He has told everyone his parents were killed in an explosion and has done his best to be the responsible grown-up his father never was. He is a successful hedge fund manager staying at the home of the wealthy boss (Tony Orlando!) he hopes will make him a partner. The boss has an elderly mother, of course. Another one of Sandler’s obsessions is sex with old ladies.

Donny, who has blown through all of the money he made selling his story for a made-for-TV movie (starring Ian Ziering), will have to go to prison if he can’t get $43,000 for the IRS. His only hope is to get Han/Todd to go visit his mother in prison so he can sell the reunion footage to a reality television show. Donnie tracks down his son at the boss’ home the weekend of the wedding and causes many scenes of excruciating and un-funny mayhem. The jokes about Donny and Vanilla Ice(!) having sex with an octogenarian and bother-sister incest(!) are idiotic enough, but Sandler’s need to portray his pustulant character as charming, lovable, and sexy is downright creepy. At times, I amused myself by pretending it was a horror film. That was as close to being amused as I got.

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Comedy

Shark Week!

Posted on July 31, 2011 at 11:37 am

Could Shark Week get any better? Yes! This year, the Discovery Channel has dubbed SNL’s Andy Samberg its “Chief Shark Officer.” Samberg told CNN it was a dream come true.

Well, it was a childhood dream, obviously. Even though I’m the first ever Chief Shark Officer, I assumed that someday they would invent that role and that when they did, I would be there and be completely qualified to be named it. It was one of those once in a lifetime things you get asked to do something that you never to be expected.

He says he even got up close and personal with some sharks.

I actually got into the water in chain mail and was floating on a surf board. Somewhere between 15 and 30 pretty sizable reef sharks were all eating around me and splashing around, and bumping into me.

Discovery is also premiering an “interactive co-viewing experience” starting tonight at 8 pm, with three hours of “exclusive, interactive content programmed to complement and enhance your Shark Week TV viewing. Shark Week Live is also available on iTunes for iPhones and iPads. You can upload your own photos and vote for your favorite videos on the Shark Week bracket.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHaL-BP12DQ&NR=1

Happy chomping!

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Television

Space Chimps

Posted on November 25, 2008 at 8:00 am

This genial animated sci-fi comedy about astronaut chimps is an unpretentious summer pleasure, an entertaining mix of adventure and comedy that even manages to find some heart.

Ham III (voice of “Saturday Night Live’s” Andy Samberg) is a chimpanzee circus performer whose most popular trick is being shot from a cannon. As he rises higher in the sky before crashing down to earth again, he reaches wistfully toward the moon, thinking of his grandfather Ham, who was sent up in a space capsule by NASA back in 1961. Ham’s only family now is his grandfather’s friend Houston (voice of Carlos Alazraqui), who has been looking out for Ham as long as he can remember.

But Ham III does not like rules, authority, or thinking of himself as a hero, so when NASA wants him to go on a space mission, he declines. However, it turns out it was not a request but an order, so he soon finds himself in training with some serious and highly qualified space chimps, Titan (voice of Patrick Warburton), Luna (voice of Cheryl Hines of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”), and Comet (voice of Zach Shada).

The chimps are needed because an American space probe has been sucked into a wormhole and ended up on an alien planet. It is too dangerous to send humans after it, but the Senator in charge (Stanley Tucci) is willing to send the chimps. And so Titan and Luna, whose entire space experience is being part of a historical exhibit about what happened with the first Ham in 1961 are sent up with Ham III, who is added to provide some public relations sizzle. Comet and Houston stay home to provide support. And yes, Houston, we have some problems.

On the alien planet, a bully named Zartog (voice of Jeff Daniels and more silly than scary) is using the space probe to control the sweet-natured, jelly-bean-colored inhabitants and force them to give him a really extreme home makeover. Will the chimps complete their mission and return home with their ship or will they help solve the problem that earth’s technology has created?

Everyone has some lessons to learn as the chimps have to navigate hostile terrain (including the Valley of the Very Bad Things and a monster with a lot of big, sharp teeth), confront Zartog, and do some DYI construction to find their way home. They will prove that they can do more than the humans thought and even more than they knew was possible themselves.

Samberg is an appealing hero and the brisk pacing and lively visuals keep things moving. These astro-chimps have the right stuff.

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