Last time, it was a bunch of Nine movies. Now for some reason we have a bunch of movies with “tree” in the title. Here’s a quick guide to help keep them all straight.
Tree of Life is the impressionistic, sometimes mystifying Terrence Malick movie starring Brad Pitt as a powerful and sometimes abusive father of three boys in 1950’s Waco, Texas.
“The Tree” is a mystical Australian story of loss and rebirth.
“The Family Tree” is an offbeat comedy about a dysfunctional family with a mother who has lost her memory, staring Rachel Leigh Cook and Hope Davis.
“If a Tree Falls” is a documentary about the environmental activist group, the Earth Liberation Front.
Oh, and there’s also another movie called “The Family Tree,” but that won’t be out until next year. It’s the story of an estranged father and son and it stars Gabrielle Union and “Mad Men’s” John Slattery.
High profile director Guido Contini (Daniel Day-Lewis) has everything he needs to make his ninth movie and more. Much more. It is Italy in the early 1960’s and Guido is a glamorous celebrity, a name brand, a commodity. His production team is ready, including his close friend and adviser, costume designer Lilli (Judi Dench), his star and muse Claudia (Nicole Kidman), and his producers. He also has a devoted wife Luisa (Oscar winner Marianne Cotillard), a mistress Carla (Penelope Cruz), a mother (Sophia Loren), a pretty reporter from Vogue named Stephanie who wants more from him than an interview (Kate Hudson), and memories of the first woman to teach him about desire Saraghina (Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas).
What he does not have is a script, or even an idea of where to begin.
Which gives him something in common with director Rob Marshall (“Chicago”), because beyond the idea of a director who has too much on his mind and not enough ideas this movie does not have anything to say. Marshall has a great appreciation for female beauty and a lot of style. That’s a great reason to watch a music video but it is not really a reason to make or watch a movie.
Marshall trots out his bevy of international beauties, and each gets a musical number, some of them stunning. Fergie’s deep, rich-throated “Be Italian” and an almost-endless chorus line of tambourine-beating back-up singers, is sheer electricity. But the only one that comes close to reaching that level is Hudson, channeling her mother, Goldie Hawn, in a spangled silver mini-dress and go-go boots.
Cruz finds some sizzle in the notorious “Call from the Vatican” number, though no one can match the late Anita Morris, whose performance was considered too incendiary (and her costume too revealing) for the Tony Awards broadcast in 1982. But the musical numbers are not up to the level of “Chicago” and the lyrics in particular cannot stand up to the loving attention given to them by these actresses. At the end, it’s as empty as its subject.
Is it because we’re in a year that ends with a nine that there are so many “nine” movies coming out?
There’s “Cloud 9,” a German film about a long-married woman who has an affair. Next is “District 9,” about an extraterrestrial race confined to a ghetto-like environment on Earth, opening August 14.
Then there is “9” (the number) produced by Tim Burton, an animated film about a post-apocalyptic world in which the humans must fight the machines. 9 is the name of the main character, voiced by Elijah Wood. It opens (of course) on Sept, 9 — 09/09/09.
And then there is “Nine” (the word for the number), based on the Broadway musical of that name, which is itself based on a semi-autobiographical Fellini film called “8 1/2.” Directed by Rob Marshall of “Chicago,” it is a big, splashy, star-filled musical about a distracted director (Daniel Day-Lewis) and the women in his life, including his wife (Marion Cotillard), his mistress (Penelope Cruz), his mother (Sophia Loren), and his star (Nicole Kidman). Also starring Fergie, Kate Hudson, and Judi Dench, this is a blockbuster Thanksgiving release.
Everybody straight now?
