Fast & Furious 6

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 6:01 pm

fast-and-furious-6-tankThe storylines of the “Fast and Furious” franchise may be preposterous, but what’s even harder to believe is that, contrary to the history of just about every other multi-sequel series and what I thought were the laws of nature, these keep getting better. There’s something of a pattern at this point.  Our happy gang of outlaw car racers gets into mischief of one kind and another in one movie, and then in the next the government asks them to take on some big bad guy in exchange for expunging their records.  This being an even-numbered entry, it’s expunging time again as the gang, a Benneton ad of gorgeous and racially diverse people with a love for fast cars and a habitual narrow-eyed facial expression that either says, “Don’t even think of trying to mess with me” or maybe “I’m trying to remember which episode we’re on, but it probably doesn’t matter.”  The talking part (I can’t bring myself to elevate it to the term “dialog”) is basic and repetitive.  Anyone who’d like to liven it up with a drinking game will do very well going for either the word “family” or some variation of “that’s who we are.”

In the classic mode of motley crew of outsider stories from “The X-Men” and “The Avengers” to “The A-Team” and “The Bad News Bears,” the “Fast and Furious” movies are about a self-made family comprising people with a range of very special skills, including martial arts, weapons, tactics, interpersonal communications, technology, and banter.  At the center are Dom (Vin Diesel) and his sister Mia (Jordana Brewster), now blissfully married to Dom’s one-time nemesis-turned BFF, one-time cop-turned-outlaw Brian (Paul Walker).  These guys are very, very good at making law enforcement go bad.

In the last episode, our gang took a lot of money from a very bad man.  Now they’re enjoying their money in highly photogenic and conveniently extradition-free locations.  But then another very bad guy (with an English accent, so we know he’s both smart and evil) is stealing the component parts to some very important something or other and must be stopped.  He’s far to smart for Interpol, so it’s time to get the band back together.

But it’s really all about the stunts, and there are some lulus, expertly staged by returning director Justin Lin.  There is so much going on at the same time that it gets a little confusing, but you can’t miss the wow moments .  There are even a couple of OMGs and a did-I-just-see-that or two.  The one thing about which there will be no suspense is who they’ll be facing in #7 — just stick around for the credits.

Parents should know that this film features non-stop action with chases, explosions, shooting and fights, characters in peril, injured and killed, some strong language including one crude epithet, and drinking.

Family discussion: Do you have a code?  What is it?  How do we decide who counts as family?

If you like this, try: The first five “Fast and Furious” movies and – to prepare for #7 – the “Transporter” series

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Action/Adventure Series/Sequel

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Posted on March 28, 2013 at 10:30 am

As big, dumb, action and explosions and “hell, yeah, ooyah” movies based on toys go, this one is a lot of fun.  Jon M. Chu, director of two of the “Step Up” movies and producer of the third knows how to shoot movement and understands pacing and tone.

In an opening lifted from “The A-Team” (and others) our heroes, the “Joes” elite military unit saves the day and then gets discredited after an ambush wipes out almost all of them and the President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce, having a lot of fun) goes on television to say that the Joes betrayed our country by trying to steal nuclear weapons.

If the Joes are not traitors and the President says they are, something must be wrong.  The surviving Joes include Roadblock (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki).  Dodging the various bad guys trying to kill them, they find their way to the original Joe, retired General Joe Colton (a tough, wry, and completely terrific Bruce Willis), and (spoiler alert) save the day.  Until next time.

When a movie begins with a big Hasbro logo, we know we’re not here for the witty repartee.  This is a movie based on toys.  That’s why it does not really matter when it seems like the script was inspired by listening in on a group of seven year-olds making up stories for their dolls, I mean action figures.

And the dialogue is surprisingly entertaining after all, delivered with great relish by two masters of tough guy witticisms, plus reigning sexiest man alive Channing Tatum.  “Brazil’s” Jonathan Pryce has some choice moments, explaining one of the benefits of being President: “I got to hang out with Bono.”  And he gets to blow stuff up.  “It’s good to know we’re not running low on crazy,” he smiles when welcoming some bad guys to the party, and he plays a game on his phone in the middle of a meeting of world leaders.  There are even a few shrewd political jibes, and some patriotic references to Fort Sumpter and the American Revolution.  And there’s a bad guy with an oxygen tank like Darth Vader and Bane who is more into putting his logo all over everything than Donald Trump.  He even brands his weapons of mass destruction.

Roadblock, asked to say some words of inspiration before going into battle, calls on a noted theologian: “In the immortal words of Jay-Z, whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don’t me die tonight.”  And there’s plenty of  deadpan tough guy talk.  The other side’s weapons are “cold war stuff but it will still put a hole in you.”  Roadblock wants to vanquish the bad guys in time to get home for “Top Chef.”  And he loves his little girls.

But we’re here for the stunts, and they deliver, especially one bravura fight that’s part bungee cord, part rappelling rope, part zip wire.  With ninjas.  In 3D.  That’s worth your price of admission right there.  These are guys who literally bring a knife to a gun fight and make it work.  Ooyah.  On to #3.

Parents should know that this film includes constant peril and action-style military violence with guns, explosives, swords, knives, and martial arts, cataclysmic damage, characters injured and killed, brief disturbing images, brief scenes of a woman in skimpy clothes, and some strong language.

Family discussion: Who is Storm Shadow loyal to? Why did Roadblock take the dog tags? What would your “Joe name” be?

If you like this, try: the first “G.I. Joe” movie and “The A-Team”

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3D Action/Adventure Series/Sequel

Snitch

Posted on February 21, 2013 at 6:00 pm

“Snitch” tries to be three things at once, but it doesn’t do any of them very well.

First, it wants to be a drama about fathers and sons.  John Matthews (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is a good man who who risks everything, even his own life and the lives of his family, to save his teenaged son from a ten-year prison sentence.  John owns a construction company that is solid but struggling a bit because of the economy.  His son is Jason (Rafi Gavron), who lives with his mother, John’s first wife (Melina Kanakaredes), and uses her last name because he is angry at his father for leaving them.  Jason makes a foolish mistake and agrees to accept a shipment of some pills from a friend.  It is a trap.

Three of the key characters in the story make big sacrifices to help their sons, but the theme is heavy-handed and the dialog so clunky it feels like an after-school special.

Second, it wants to be an action film, because John finds that the only way to get Jason out of prison in less than ten years is to deliver an important arrest to the federal prosecutor.  Jason refuses to entrap any of his friends (as he was entrapped by the friend who sent him the drugs), even to reduce his sentence.  So, John decides to go undercover in a very high risk sting operation involving criminals at the top of an international drug cartel.  He gets badly beat up the first time he tries to make a connection to a drug dealer.  But with the help of an employee who is now determined to go straight after two prison terms for narcotics distribution, he is introduced to Malik (Michael Williamson), a typical movie drug dealer — black, gangsta, and living in a house with almost no furniture and loud rap music.  John has no street cred whatsoever.  But he does have big semis and a legitimate business to give him good cover for transporting big, heavy bags in them.  And even the suspicious Malik understands that the economy is lousy, and is persuaded that a law-abiding citizen like John could be desperate enough to fill some of those cement bags with cocaine.

So there are some shoot-outs and chases, but they are poorly staged and uninvolving.  So as much as the movie tries to make us believe he is just a good guy from the suburbs who does not know anything about guns and criminals, this is The Rock.  We never feel the sense of peril that would create some tension, and we miss the expected sense of satisfaction when no cans of whup-ass are opened.

Third, the movie tries to be an issue film, taking on the unintended consequences of the mandatory minimum sentences legislation that was supposed to reduce the unfairness in assigning penalties for drug-related offenses and get tough on drugs but instead created a whole new level of unfairness and got tough only on low-level users.  When judges no longer have discretion to assign prison terms based on individual circumstances, the only mitigating factors are the defendants’ ability and willingness to turn over bigger fish.  Susan Sarandon, once again stuck in a role far beneath her, plays the ambitious US Attorney and political candidate who is so over-the-top that it undermines the institutional pervasiveness of the problem the filmmakers are trying to convey.  They do more to make their point with a credit-sequence note about the impact of mandatory minimums than they accomplish through the film.  And the recent documentary “The House I Live In” addresses the issue far more compellingly.

It’s a triple disappointment.  But most of all, it is just dull.

Parents should know that this film includes characters are drug dealers, drinking, smoking, drug use, violence including knives, fights, shoot-outs, and chases with characters injured and killed, and some strong language.

Family discussion: How did being a father of a son change the decisions made by three characters in the movie?  Why did John say his son taught him about character and integrity?  Do mandatory minimum sentencing laws do what they were intended to do?

If you like this, try: “The House I Live in” and “Narc”

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Action/Adventure Crime Drama Inspired by a true story

Contest: “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island”

Posted on May 31, 2012 at 8:00 am

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island  will be released on blu-ray combo pack and digital download June 5 and I have one copy to give away.

The new journey begins when young adventurer Sean (Josh Hutcherson) receives a coded distress signal from a mysterious island where no island should exist—a place of strange life forms, mountains of gold, deadly volcanoes, and more than one astonishing secret. Unable to stop him from going, Sean’s new stepfather (Dwayne Johnson) joins the quest. Together with a helicopter pilot (Luis Guzman) and his beautiful, strong-willed daughter (Vanessa Hudgens), they set out to find the island, rescue its lone inhabitant and escape before seismic shockwaves force the island under the sea and bury its treasures forever.  Michael Caine stars as Sean’s adventuring grandfather.

To enter the contest, send me an email at moviemom@moviemom.com with “Journey” in the subject line and tell me what is the one thing you would bring to the Mysterious Island.  Don’t forget your address!  (US addresses only)  Good luck, and I’ll pick a winner on June 4.

NOTE: I use the addresses for prize deliveries only and my policy on potential conflicts is posted.

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Contests and Giveaways
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