Interview: Christine Frisbee on Healthy Siblings of Disabled Kids

Posted on July 30, 2008 at 8:00 am

The healthy siblings of disabled or sick children are often “the forgotten ones” as understandably pre-occupied parents devote their attention to the child whose needs seem most pressing. Author Christine Frisbee lets these siblings tell their own stories in Day By Day, Children tell their journeys of faith and determination living with a sick sister or brother. The book shows how siblings of seriously ill or challenged children can learn to embrace the challenges of their exceptional situation, ultimately allowing them to transform into strong, spiritual, and caring people and gives parents some resources for making sure that these children do not feel neglected or guilty. I interviewed Ms. Frisbee via email.

What can parents do to make the sibling who is not disabled feel that he or she deserves time and attention?

Although it is easy to think that everyone in the family is adjusted to having a sick child in the family, often the siblings are quietly coping. The reason they are quiet is because they do not want to make the issues worse or make their parents feel more overwhelmed than they sometimes can.

Therefore the best thing to do is to talk about the sibling’s feelings and make sure that they know you, as a parent, have their best interests at stake too. Spend separate time with the children who are not disabled and tell them you appreciate their patience and help every day. Explain that just because you need to give so much attention to the disabled child does not mean that you care about them any less, but that you admire and respect their help and love.

Is “Survivor Guilt” a problem?

It is a fact that survivor guilt is a big problem in families. Children are very happy that they are not the one to have the disability or serious illness, but with that said, they also feel very guilty that they are the one who continues with a more normal life. Neither child understands why illness came to one of them and not the other.

Do the siblings sometimes act out to get more attention? Do they wish they were sick or disabled?

It is extremely common for siblings to act out when they have a sick sister or brother. They sometimes do not realize how much they are misbehaving. Often they know they are acting out and continue because they are angry about the misbalance of attention within the family. When they see their sick sibling getting more attention they wonder if it is worth it to have something happen to them so they get more attention, compassion and gifts from friends and relatives who want the sick child to feel better.

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Corduroy…and More Stories About Caring

Posted on July 28, 2008 at 5:19 pm

A
Lowest Recommended Age: Preschool
MPAA Rating: NR
Profanity: None
Alcohol/ Drugs: None
Violence/ Scariness: Mild tension
Diversity Issues: None
Date Released to DVD: July 29, 2008
Amazon.com ASIN: B0018O3P2C
corduroy.jpg

My very favorite DVD series for kids is saluting the 40th anniversary of the classic book Corduroy with a beautiful new DVD version. It is the story of a toy bear who goes off in search of his missing button and finds a caring friend. Has there ever been a better last line in a book?

This DVD also includes some of the series very best, Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel and the one that really made my children laugh, Smile for Auntie. This is a gem.

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Lists: Great Sports Documentaries

Posted on July 26, 2008 at 8:00 am

10. The Heart of the Game A dedicated girls’ basketball coach and a talented player with some daunting challenges make this an unforgettable story.

9. 16 Days of Glory Bud Greenspan’s documentary series about the Olympics give you a front-row seat and a behind-the-scenes glimpse of the stories behind the competition.

8. “Freedom’s Fury” In 1956, the Russians were fighting in Hungary. And that year the battle moved to the sports arena in the most brutal water polo competition of all time, the one still referred to as “blood in the water.”

7. The Life and Times of Hank Greenberg Aviva Kempner’s labor of love biography of the first Jewish major league baseball star is heartwarming and inspiring.

6. Step into Liquid (and don’t forget The Endless Summer) These brilliant films about surfing will make you feel like you are inside the waves — and introduce you to a range of wonderfully colorful characters.

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5. Baseball – A Film By Ken Burns Nine episodes — one for each inning of a ball game — brilliantly illuminate the history of America’s pastime.

4. When We Were Kings This Oscar-winning documentary about the “Rumble in the Jungle,” the famous1974 heavyweight championship bout in Zaire between champion George Foreman and underdog challenger Muhammad Ali, is mesmerizing.

3. Dogtown and Z-Boys In the 1970’s, a rag-tag group of kids invented modern-day skateboarding and the era of extreme sports began. This engaging documentary includes vintage footage and superb narration by Sean Penn.


2. Murderball Wheelchair basketball turns out to be one of the most brutally hard-fought, all-out competitions on earth.

hoop dreams.jpg

1. Hoop Dreams “People always say to me, ‘when you get to the NBA, don’t forget about me.’ Well, I should’ve said back, ‘if I don’t make it to the NBA, don’t you forget about me.'” This unforgettable movie follows two talented young basketball players from one of Chicago’s poorest neighborhoods and their dreams of using their skill to change their lives.

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List: The Top 25 Law Movies

Posted on July 26, 2008 at 8:00 am

The magazine published by the American Bar Association has assembled a list of the 25 best movies about the law, with another 25 on the list of runners-up. I am a lawyer from a family of lawyers and we all love movies about the law. Just about every lawyer I know would agree with the ABA’s assessment that “To Kill a Mockingbird” is the all-time best.

I’d like to say that it is because I am a lawyer that I have such a passion for courtroom dramas, but I think it is more accurate to say that I became a lawyer because I was so inspired by films like To Kill a Mockingbird and Anatomy of a Murder.  I even wrote a law review article about two of my favorites, Miracle on 34th Street and Inherit the Wind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y5Baa0IV1I&feature=related

I am partial to the movies based on real-life cases like “Philadelphia,” “Amistad,” and “Erin Brocovich.” Another of my favorites, “Inherit the Wind,” includes dialogue lifted straight from the court transcripts. “Anatomy of a Murder has the additional distinction of being based on a book by a judge and having a real-life judge and American hero playing the part of the judge on screen. And it is the only law movie I can think of where one of the highlights is a lawyer finding the right precedent in the law library.

I know it is a popular movie, but I was surprised to find “The Verdict” on the ABA’s list, even with Paul Newman’s Oscar-winning performance. It is wrong on so many points of law that my law professor sister said she could ask her students to find all the errors as an exam for her Civil Procedure class. All of the movies on the full list, including the honorable mentions, are worth watching. There is something inherently gripping about a courtroom drama, as “Law and Order” shows several nights a week.

Interestingly, though, one of the most widely seen and highly regarded of the films takes place entirely outside the courtroom: 12 Angry Men. A friend recently gave me a copy of a a special issue of the Chicago-Kent Law Review dedicated to the 50th anniversary of that classic movie.

In , all but a few moments of the film take place in one room as a dozen men deliberate in a murder case. A teenager has been charged with stabbing his father to death. In the initial vote, all but one (Henry Fonda as Juror #8) vote “guilty.” I go on jury duty myself for the first time after Labor Day and will keep this movie very much in mind as I try to live up to one of society’s most important responsibilities.

 

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Country Sings Disney

Posted on July 20, 2008 at 8:00 am

Some of country’s brightest stars sing some of Disney’s most hummable tunes on this new release. It’s a pleasure to hear soundtrack hits like Rascal Flatts’ “Life is a Highway,” from “Cars” and Tim McGraw’s “Wherever the Trail May Lead” from the under-rated “Home on the Range,” but it is the unpredictable choices that make this CD worthwhile. Faith Hill sings Ariel’s “Part of Your World” from “The Little Mermaid” and the wonderful “Dumbo” soundtrack is represented with “When I See an Elephant Fly” from Josh Gracin and “Baby Mine” from SHeDAISY. This is one for kids and parents to enjoy together.

1. Ready, Set, Don’t Go – Billy Ray Cyrus featuring Miley Cyrus
2. Life Is a Highway – Rascal Flatts
3. Wherever the Trail May Lead – Tim McGraw
4. Through Your Eyes – Martina McBride
5. Blue Beyond – Trisha Yearwood
6. You’ll Be in My Heart – Bucky Covington
7. Can You Feel the Love Tonight – Phil Stacey
8. Will the Sun Ever Shine Again – Bonnie Raitt
9. There Is Life – Alison Krauss
10. When I See an Elephant Fly – Josh Gracin
11. Baby Mine – SHeDAISY
12. We Go Together – Little Big Town
13. Part of Your World – Faith Hill
14. Find Yourself – Brad Paisley
15. Real Gone – Billy Ray Cyrus

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