Pixels

Posted on July 23, 2015 at 5:37 pm

C-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for some language and suggestive comments
Profanity:	A few bad words
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Drinking, including drinking to deal with stress and alcohol humor
Violence/ Scariness:	Sci-fi action-style violence, no one permanently injured
Diversity Issues:	Some sexist and homophobic "humor"
Date Released to Theaters:	July 24, 2015
Date Released to DVD:	October 26, 2015

I never thought I’d see Max Headroom or “Fantasy Island” again, much less have to explain them to someone sitting next to me who was a toddler when they were on television, but Adam Sandler is still relentlessly working his slacker way through every pop culture meme of the decade where he spent his late teens and early 20’s, and apparently the last decade he was willing to pay attention to. He’s used up most of the good ones. That means that this is another film that was pieced together from the cutting room floors of his previous movies plus VH1’s “I Love the 80’s” series. Yes, I know that it is impossible to believe that there was anything worth remembering that happened in the 80’s that they did not cover. And yet, here we are, with a movie about 1980’s arcade games that have become real-life alien invaders. If you remember and retain some affection for games like Frogger, Pac-Man, Tetris, and Q*bert, or if you like Sandler and are relieved he is not making “Grown-Ups 3,” then you might get a few smiles out of “Pixels.”

Grading on a curve, it is tempting to provide some positive reinforcement for Sandler, who in the hands of director Chris Columbus, is better than some of his recent films. But just because it is safe to say he probably will not be a winner at the Razzies this year does not merit him an endorsement. This movie is less predictable and less entertaining than the charmingly retro 8 bit games to which it pays tribute. And unfortunately, one more element carried over from the 80’s is the idea that homophobic and sexist jokes are funny and permissible. Having a female character be a capable military officer does not mean that it is okay to have the other female characters be one-dimensional (literally, one one case).

Sandler, looking puffy and bored, plays Sam, a Geek Squad-style technician who installs fancy television and gaming equipment in people’s homes. In a flashback, we see that as a kid, he had a natural facility to recognize the patterns in arcade games and made it to second in a national competition. The winner was Eddie (Peter Dinklage from “Game of Thrones”), a mullet-coiffed braggart who triumphed over him in the final round. Another competitor was a whiz kid named Ludlow (Josh Gad, “Frozen’s” Olaf) with poor social skills, conspiracy theories, and a pretty pervy obsession with a video game avatar. And Sam’s loyal friend and supporter was Cooper (Kevin James).

Footage of the competition was sent into space to introduce the galactic community to life on Earth. But it was misinterpreted as a declaration of war, and now the aliens have arrived. Just as in the era of arcade games, they wreak destruction by dissolving everything around them into pixels, according to the same rules and patterns of the original games. Fortunately, if improbably, Cooper is now the President of the United States. So he is able to call on Sam, Eddie (who has to be sprung from prison), and Ludlow to save the day. Helping to coordinate the defense is Violet (Michelle Monaghan), first met by Sam when he is installing a television/game system in her home and finds her sobbing in the closet over her husband leaving her for a Pilates instructor named Sinnamon (with an S) and he comforts and then hits on her. But it turns out that she is actually a top military officer who can muster whole new categories of weapons, train the SEALS, and engage in sizzle-free romantic banter at the same time.

The effects in the battle scenes are fun, turning these very rudimentary characters into real space invaders without losing their iconic 8 bit design. Centipede in particular is impressive, glowing like a Chinese New Year Parade dragon made from Lite-Brite as he slithers through the mushrooms. Like some of the other arcade characters, he is far more vivid and has more personality than the humans in the story.

Parents should know that this film has a handful of bad words, potty humor, sci-fi/action violence with peril and apparent injuries, brief comic view of a portion of a bare butt, and comic but crude sexual references including a threesome. There are alcohol jokes and alcohol is used to deal with stress.

Family discussion: Why did coming in second change Sam’s life? Is Violet a snob? How could the skills you have help save the planet?

If you like this, try: “The King of Kong,” “Wreck-It Ralph,” and “Galaxy Quest”

Trailer: Goosebumps with Jack Black

Posted on July 23, 2015 at 8:47 am

The wildly popular Goosebumps horror-comedy series for kids by R.L. Stine is now a movie!

Minions

Posted on July 9, 2015 at 5:16 pm

The Minions should pay a little less attention to villains and a little more to penguins. Like “Madagascar’s” penguins, “Despicable Me’s” yellow minions were comic relief characters who took the lead in follow-up features. But the Minions are not quite up to the level of their black and white counterparts. While “Penguins of Madagascar” was one of the funniest films for any age of last year, “Minions” is a reasonably diverting entertainment with some great visuals, some good ideas, and some missed opportunities. The Minions are an adorable concept, a cross between Oompa Loompas and marshmallow Peeps. But they speak in gibberish, which is more fun in smaller doses. And while this movie selects three of them out of the multitudes to be the focus of the adventure, their characters are not especially interesting and their personalities are not especially differentiated. The same is unfortunately true of most of the human characters as well.

And “Despicable Me” had Gru, and Gru had a nemesis to best, lessons to learn, and little girls to change his life. We miss that emotional and narrative heft in this film.

What we have instead is a cute origin story going back to the earliest life on Earth, with the minions evolving out of little yellow single-cell floating creatures. By the time they make it to land, their purpose has been established. They will seek out and support the greatest villains on the planet. But, the narrator (Geoffrey Rush) informs us, in tones suggesting a nature documentary, “Finding a boss was easy. Keeping one was not.” A T-Rex. An Egyptian Pharaoh. A vampire. Napoleon. They just don’t last, primarily because the Minions’ efforts to be helpful backfire. Almost literally.

The Minions retreat to the Arctic, and that takes care of a few more centuries. But they have no purpose. And so Kevin, Stuart, and Bob set off to find a new evil genius to support. It is 1968, and they arrive in New York City, to the sound of the Rolling Stones singing “19th Nervous Breakdown.” They find out that in pre-Disney Orlando, Florida, the upcoming Villain Con (cleverly modeled after Comic-Con) will give them a chance to meet the top bad guys of the world, especially superstar Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). They hitch a ride along the way with a smiling suburban family (Michael Keaton and Allison Janney), who turn out to have more in common with the Minions than expected. And, when they pass the test failed by all the other criminals, Scarlet takes them on and assigns them the crime of the century — she wants them to steal Queen Elizabeth’s crown. Scarlett’s husband, Herb (Jon Hamm) serves as Q, giving out the gadgets, and then it’s off to the Tower of London.

Individual moments are charming and funny, and baby boomers will appreciate the 60’s references and soundtrack, which should do for “Hair,” Hendrix, and Donovan what “Guardians of the Galaxy” did for 70’s rock. But a bedtime story about the three little pigs only reminds us more pointedly of how much better the “three little kittens” bedtime story was in the first film.

NOTE: Stay through the very end of the credits for a funny song and dance and some wow-worthy 3D effects.

Parents should know that this film has comic, cartoon-style peril and mayhem (no one hurt), weapons, explosions, chases, thong underwear, and brief potty humor.

Family discussion: How should you decide what your purpose is and why is that important? Can you understand the Minions even though they are not speaking English, and, if so, how? What made Scarlet so mean, and why do so many people admire her?

If you like this, try: the “Despicable Me” movies and “Megamind”

Self/Less

Posted on July 9, 2015 at 5:08 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	High School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence, some sexuality, and language
Profanity:	Some strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Drinking
Violence/ Scariness:	Perils and violence, intense themes of encouraging people to die so that wealth people can live longer
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	July 10, 2015

The longing for eternal life has inspired many stories, maybe most of them. What is creating a story itself if not a kind of search for immortality? Anne Rice created her series of books about vampires because the death of her young child made her imagine characters who would not die. The story of Orpheus and Eurydice, with a man entering Hades to bring back woman he loves, has been told in many forms, last year in the animated film “The Book of Life.” This year alone, films like “Ex Machina,” “Terminator Genisys,” “The Age of Adaline,” “The Moon and the Sun,” and this film, “Self/Less” are just some of the films that explore the idea of a consciousness that can survive a human lifespan.

In this case, there is a very rich man, still, near death, relishing the chance to demolish a young, ambitious competitor in as public and humiliating a fashion as he can devise. His name is Damian (Sir Ben Kingsley), and he lives in a Manhattan apartment of an opulence so gaudy it would make Marie Antoinette blush. Everything is covered in gold or marble except for the bubbling indoor fountain and the window with a view of Central Park. Damian has money and power. He also has a community activist daughter (“Downton Abbey’s” Michelle Dockery), presumably trying to prevent everything he is building, who is not speaking to him. He has a furious will to live, but his body is dying.

And then he gets a card with a phone number and a message that this could help. The impeccably elegant Dr. Albright (Matthew Goode of “The Good Wife” with his authentic British accent) offers a very pricy special service. For a quarter of a billion dollars, he will transfer a dying person’s consciousness to a fresh, new body. And for that amount, you can bet it will be top quality. Damian is going to come out of this process looking like Ryan Reynolds.

That’s pretty much like getting the keys to a Lamborghini. So, of course first of all, Damian wants to take it out for a wild test drive, in the greatest city in America for living it up, New Orleans. We have almost as much fun as Damian does because director Tarsem Singh has a flair for striking, kinetic visuals and dynamic edits that make this part of the movie so vibrant we can feel the testosterone and adrenaline — and whatever other drug Dr. Albright is giving him — pounding through his system.

But Damien starts getting flashes of images and people he does not recognize. Are they hallucinations? Or are the memories of that handsome body breaking through? And if the memories can seep through into Damian’s consciousness, can the personality, the spirit, the feelings, the skills be there, too?

Singh is big on visuals but not much on storylines (“The Cell,” “The Fall,” “Mirror Mirror”). So, while this has more story than his previous films, it is still less than we are entitled to expect. You would have to be as impaired as Damian not to figure out what is happening, or to believe everything Dr. Albright says. But there are some nice twists, and some good fight scenes (Damian’s new body has mad skillz). And somewhere in there are some provocative concepts about life, death, memory, identity, and, well, karma.

Parents should know that this film has some violence, including shoot-outs, with characters injured and killed, and some disturbing themes about re-animating corpses and wiping memories. There are sexual references and situations, drinking, drugs, and some strong words.

Family discussion: Why does what Damian learns about the body make him think differently about what he has done? Who should decide how scientific discoveries like these are applied?

If you like this, try: some other films on this theme including “Seconds” with Rock Hudson, “Never Let Me Go” with Keira Knightley, and “All of Me” with Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin, and a very funny brief segment in the Woody Allen film, “Stardust Memories”

Jurassic World

Posted on June 10, 2015 at 5:54 pm

One problem is that we really do not know very much about dinosaurs, especially live ones, and especially genetically tweaked live ones. A bigger problem is that we keep ignoring what we do know about humans. Over and over again we see that humans are petty, greedy for both money and power, and very unclear about the line between optimism and hubris. Maybe someday we will figure out a genetic tweak to adjust that problem, but for the time being we are stuck with it, which is bad for us, but pretty good for movies. It gives us just enough of a framework for the storyline without interfering with the real purpose of the movie, which is, let’s face it, seeing people get chased by dinosaurs. And that is what happens, all right. A lot of people get chased by a lot of dinosaurs, and it is exciting and cool and a lot of fun.

Remember what Jeff Goldblum said in the first “Jurassic Park” movie? The man behind the idea of taking dino DNA from amber and re-creating creatures who died out 70 million years ago compared the delays to the opening of Disneyland. Yes, Goldblum’s expert in chaos theory replied, but “if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.” Despite the devastation inflicted on the planet in the first three movies (remember that optimism/hubris problem), things have moved on, and Jurassic World is now a flourishing theme park with 20,000 visitors at a time. Indeed, it is all a little been there-done that, the dinosaurs so tame there is actually a petting zoo portion of the park, where children can ride on triceratops. Investors want better returns and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard), the director of the park, is under a lot of pressure to create more “wow factor.” The dinosaurs are no more exotic than the elephant at the zoo. “We want to be thrilled.”

She and the eighth richest man on the planet, the CEO of the company who owns Jurassic World, have decided the best way to do that is to spend $28 million to create a bigger, smarter, angrier dinosaur made up of all the scariest parts of all the other dinos. You know, Frankensaurus. What could possibly go wrong?

Making up the rest of the human cast are some disposable red shirt types whose primary job is to be clawed and/or eaten, as well as Claire’s two nephews (Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins) and a couple of Navy vets who have been working on an experimental program to see whether raptors can be trained, Owen (Chris Pratt) and Barry (Omar Sy). There’s also a computer guy (Jake Johnson), a scientist (B.D. Wong), and the grand prize winner of the really bad idea competition, a military type (Vincent D’Onofrio) who wants to weaponize the dinosaurs and use them in combat.

There’s a terrific opening, as powerful talons crack through egg shells, terrifying literally from the very first second. Then there’s a clever twist to remind us that we are here to have PG-13-style fun. We have about an hour to familiarize us with the characters, the layout, and the vulnerabilities, oh, yes, and the characters. And the rest is people getting chased by dinosaurs in a variety of extremely intense and exciting and creative ways, and in many different locations. The 3D effects are jump-out-at-you scary. Howard makes the best of a thankless part. Claire starts out as a caricature of a control freak, dressed all in Olivia Pope white, with perfectly groomed, razor-styled red hair. We know how inhuman she is because she barely remembers the names of her nephews and refers to the dinosaurs briskly as “assets.” And she once went on a date with a print-out of the schedule. It is fun to see her become more messy and human, though ridiculous that she never takes off her high heels and gets the vapors over seeing a Real Man do Manly things.

The real wow factor in the film is Pratt, who exhibits a natural Indiana Jones-style, all-American heroism. Not many actors can hold their own against a genetically modified T-Rex the size of Godzilla, but Pratt, whether dinosaur whispering or racing his motorcycle, is an old-school hero. Even if we don’t believe there is any chemistry between his character and Howard’s, his quiet confidence and skill are as much fun as all the CGI-asauruses.

Parents should know that this film includes very intense peril and violence involving big, scary creatures with lots of teeth, many characters (human and animal) injured and killed, some graphic and disturbing images, brief strong language, brief sexual reference, discussion of parental divorce.

Family discussion: Why did things go so wrong? Whose fault was it? How did the relationship of the brothers change and why?

If you like this, try: the earlier “Jurassic Park” movies and “Walking With Dinosaurs”