Gladiator II

Posted on November 20, 2024 at 6:25 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for strong bloody violence
Profanity:	Fierce language
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended, intense, and graphic violence, swords, animal attacks, characters injured and killed, disturbing images
Date Released to Theaters:	November 22, 2024

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is GLADIATOR-2-121124-MCDGLTW_PA010.jpg-1024x768.webp — Gladiator II copyright 2024 Paramount

“Gladiator II” looks magnificent. Denzel Washington effortlessly steals every scene he is in and all but winks at us to show how much he is enjoying it. But the script is weak and too repetitive , the movie is too long, and the fight scenes, no matter how staged, just get numbing after a while. When I saw it, the audience was so disconnected from the storyline that they laughed at an admittedly corny reveal that was clearly a turning point that puts one of the main characters in danger.

For those who still remember the details of 2000’s Oscar-winning “Gladiator,” starring Russell Crowe, this film takes place a generation later, with only one returning main character aside from a couple of brief flashbacks and Derek Jacobi in a few scenes as a member of the political elite.

Connie Nelson is back as Lucilla, the royal daughter of the idealistic Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who was murdered by his son and her brother in the first film. She is now married to Rome’s top soldier, Marcus Acacius (Pedro Pascal).

We get a few minutes of blissful farm life in a remote village before the Roman navy arrives to take it over and the farmer and his beautiful and beloved wife have to suit up as soldiers. We know what happens to peaceful farmers and beautiful, beloved wives in these kinds of movies. Indeed, this is pretty much a replay of the first “Gladiator,” except this time the beautiful wife is also a fierce soldier. No big difference, though, because she gets killed off to fuel what we will later hear is the farmer’s biggest asset as an arena fighter, not strength or skill but rage.

That assessment of the farmer (Mescal) comes from Macrinus (Washington), who runs the gladiator program, wears only the finest glam. He is a trusted purveyor of news and rumors to everyone in Rome, especially Geta (Joseph Quinn of “Stranger Things”) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger of “Thelma”), the decadent young emperor-brothers who whine and lounge around in white face make-up except when they are enjoying the bloody battles in the colosseum. When the farmer-turned fighter says what he wants is a chance to cut off Acacius’ head, Macrinus tells him he will have it, and his freedom, too, if he succeeds in the arena.

Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal are two of the most charismatic, versatile, and talented actors in movies. Mescal can make a smile convey more than a page of dialogue or 15 minutes of backstory. Pascal has unmatchable comic timing. The one-dimensional characters they play do not give them a chance to show us their best. Instead, they have distractingly bulked up, like Popeye after the spinach. They look great in those Roman skirts, especially in the fight scenes, but even they cannot make the wooden dialogue and awkward plot twists work.

So much for the plot. Some people may want to make parallels between the fall of Rome and some of today’s headlines, but it won’t get you very far. I’m not going to give away the not-much-of-a-twist, which is in the trailer, so if you don’t want to know, don’t peek. In fact, you might do better to watch the without sound (you’d miss the score but you’d also miss the sounds of bones crunching and blood spurting). The dialogue is clunky and the storyline is hackneyed. The fans who come for the spectacle and pageantry will do fine, though, as director Ridley Scott and production designer Arthur Max make all of the long shots very impressive. Those who are there for the fight scenes will appreciate the variety — swords, of course, and attacks by crazed monkeys, sharks, and a rhino.

For me, though, it started to feel more like a game than a story and much too long.

Parents should know that this film has extended, very graphic violence with many characters injured and killed and many, many disturbing bloody images and sounds including decapitation. Characters drink alcohol and use drugs. A character essentially commits suicide. There is a reference to venereal disease.

Family discussion: Was rage the gladiator’s most valuable quality? How were the gladiator and the general alike?

If you like this, try: “Gladiator” with Russell Crowe

Venom: The Last Dance

Posted on October 24, 2024 at 2:00 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 intense sequences of violence and action, bloody images and strong language
Profanity:	Very strong language for a PG-13
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended comic-book action-style peril and violence, characters injured and killed, some disturbing and graphic images, sad death
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	October 25, 2024

Now that Tom Hardy has taken over Venom the way the comic-book outer-space symbiote took over journalist Eddie Brock, the one-time Spider-Man universe super-villain is now…the good guy? Hardy co-wrote and co-produced this final (maybe final-ish?) chapter, its foundation is still comic-book, but its heart is a goofy buddy-movie, with Eddie (Hardy) happy to call on his wisecracking “friend” Venom to kick bad-guy butt and just to keep him company.

If the toothy Venom is going to be a good guy, we need a new bad guy. On wherever Venom came from, he/they/it was one of many whatever-they-ares that managed to imprison a super-evil, super-powerful something called Knull that can only be freed with a MacGuffin unimaginatively named the codex. And so the mysterious villain deploys some flying scorpions through various portals that take them throughout the universe to find this codex, which can only be found guess where.

We first see Eddie drinking sullenly at a bar in Mexico (look for “Ted Lasso’s” Dani Rojas, Cristo Fernández, as the bartender). He and the co-inhabitant of his body, the toothy Venom, have a companionable relationship, as we see when Eddie calls on his inner Venom to take care of some scary animal-abusing bad guys. As we also see when a convenient newscast comes on a nearby television screen, Eddie is the target of law enforcement and needs a place to hide. Venom wants to see the Statue of Liberty. He/they/it is, after all, a huddled mass yearning to breathe free, tempest-tossed, and, yes, something of a wretched refuse, and grateful for being welcomed to a new home.

And so we’re off to a buddy road trip, as our single body/dual-personality heroes set off for the east coast. They don’t get very far in terms of miles, but they meet up with some interesting characters along the way, including Rhys Ifans as a hippie, alien-seeking dad named Martin, traveling in a van with his wife, daughter, and young son. As the government announces the shut-down of the notorious Area 51, it secretly opens an underground real alien study lab nearby called, unimaginatively, Area 55. It is presided over by unimaginatively named Dr. Payne (“Ted Lasso’s” Juno Temple), who finds the pulsating plasma they have collected fascinating and is unscientifically optimistic about its dangers. And it is fumed over by General Rex Strickland (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who considers whatever they are studying to be an extinction-level threat until proven otherwise. “Something terrible is always imminent,” he intones.

But we’re not here to debate policy; we’re here to see creatures fighting creatures, punctuated with over-the-top, wackiness, and that this movie delivers. “I got stuck with a superhero who can’t fly,” says Eddie, and next thing we know, Venom, who seems to be made of a substance that is part Silly Putty, in part rubber cement, has him glued to the side of an airplane, and later, thankfully, into a parachute. Then there is the Cinderella-like series of lost shoes Eddie has to cope with. And the many familiar needle drop songs, from Cat Stevens to, I’m not kidding, a dance number to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen.”

The action scenes are okay. The human characters are so thin that one’s decision to wear a Christmas tree brooch in summer is considered a trait worth commenting on (it also helps to identify post-transformation). The world-building is near-non-existent. But the film’s commitment to its off-beat goofiness makes it kinda fun.

NOTE: There is an early-credit extra scene and, for those who wait ALL the way to the end, one more scene after the credits.

Parents should know that this film is a close-to-R PG-13, with very strong language and extensive comic book/action-style peril and violence. Characters are injured and killed, with a sad death, and there are some graphic and disturbing images.

Family discussion: Why did Eddie come to think of Venom as friendly? Who should oversee science, scientists, politicians, or the military?

If you like this, try: the comic books, the other “Venom” movies and “Transformers One”

Deadpool & Wolverine

Posted on July 23, 2024 at 6:15 pm

B +

Lowest Recommended Age:	High School
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for strong bloody violence and language throughout, gore and sexual references
Profanity:	Extended very strong and crude language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Drinking and alcohol abuse, references to cocaine
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended and sometimes very graphic comic book violence with many characters injured and killed and many disturbing images
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	July 26, 2024

This one is for the fans. I say that with love because this movie loves the fans. I’m sure there are newcomers out there who are not deeply enmeshed in the comic book history of Marvel characters Deadpool and Wolverine, or even the canon of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There may even be a ticket-buyer or two who have not seen the wildly popular earlier Deadpool and Wolverine movies, even the critically acclaimed “Logan,” and may not know how Deadpool likes to trash Wolverine in his movies in only the way that someone does (usually in middle school) when they really like someone and want that someone to like them back. Those people will enjoy “Deadpool & Wolverine” because it is smart, funny, exciting, often filthy, and even has some heart. Ryan Reynolds (who not only stars as Deadpool but co-produced and co-wrote and has been the force behind the entire Deadpool oeuvre) and Hugh Jackman (Wolverine) are having so much fun on screen it is impossible not to have fun with them. There’s also a little dog that would be very cute if it didn’t have such a weirdly long tongue, and yes, he is Dogpool.

If you have not seen the movie yet, just know that unlike other Disney/Marvel movies this one is rated R, and Ryan Reynolds has said that it is not for kids. I’ll avoid spoilers here, which is hard because there are so many of them and they are choice, but still, you do not need a review to know if you want to see it or not; if you’re a fan, just go and have a great time, then come back here and read the rest of the as non-spoilery as possible review.

It’s not a spoiler to talk about the opening credits, is it? I’ll just say that they involve some adamantium-enhanced bones used as weapons AND as informative material for listing the filmmakers. We then go back in time to see Deadpool turned down by Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau) when he applies to be an Avenger. Disheartened, he gives up being a superhero and goes to work as a used car salesman, which he does poorly. In the present, his birthday party is interrupted by some scary-looking storm trooper types, who take him to the TVA.

For those of you who have not been watching “Loki,” the TVA is the Time Variance Authority. This outpost is run by Mr. Paradox, played by “Succession’s” and “Pride & Prejudice’s” Matthew Macfadyen. Basically, this is just an excuse to (1) both have fun with and (2) make fun of the concept of multi-verses and get around the fact that Wolverine DIED HEROICALLY in a previous film.

Soon, Deadpool and a version of Wolverine (so we don’t have to worry about, like, consistency or logic) are in a massive void that they acknowledge looks like it’s from the “Mad Max” cinematic universe, where they meet up with some interesting characters, good guys and bad. All I can say about that is that there are some truly wonderful surprises from the MCU, not just in who show up but how they behave. Deadpool, going back to his comic book days, has broken the fourth wall, and in this movie it is smashed into smithereens, with more self-referential in-jokes and asides than even an infinite number of multiverses can contain.

Deadpool & Wolverine Copyright 2024 Disney

I always say that superhero movies depend on the villain. That is less true in this case because Deadpool and Wolverine are anti-heroes, careless, damaged, and often mean-spirited. But the requisite British-accented bad guys are here, one with a rather preposterous link to one of the MCU’s most central characters. Most fans will be more interested in the two well-choreographed fights between the title characters than in their fights with the bad guys (also well-choreographed and very gory). To avoid spoilers I will just say that, as with Thanos (who is not in this movie), it can be difficult to come up with a bad guy (or girl) who is powerful enough to make the stakes meaningful but not so powerful that there is no understandable path (e.g. Kryptonite, Achilles’ heel) to vanquishing them.

The movie expertly balances the exciting, the silly, the references for the fans (look for Deadpool creator Rob Liefeld’s name on a shop the characters go crashing through and digs at the previous and current movie studios for the franchise, plus, for some reason, the Honda Odyssey), and the straightforward superhero stuff, even a few glimpses of actual sincerity. Reynolds and Jackman have tremendous chemistry and should make many movies together. The banter is A+ and so are the needle-drops, including Madonna, N’sync, Green Day, Grease, Aretha Franklin, and Huey Lewis and the News.

It is wonderful to see some of our old favorites from the MCU though I missed spending more time with some of the DCU (Deadpool Cinematic Universe). I want more Negasonic Teenage Warhead! Great nod to Stan Lee. Great nod to the fans from people who love these characters but do not take them too seriously, just like us.

Parents should know that this is a “hard-R” movie with constant strong and crude language, drinking and alcoholism, and extremely graphic violence with many characters injured and killed and many disturbing images.

Family discussion: How do you decide what “matters?” How do Deadpool and Wolverine and Mr. Paradox decide what matters to them? How do the villains in this movie compare to other Marvel villains?

If you like this, try: the other “Deadpool” and “Wolverine” movies and the Loki series.

My Spy: Eternal City

Posted on July 18, 2024 at 5:14 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	High School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for violence/action, some strong language, suggestive references, teen drinking, and a nude sculpture
Profanity:	Strong language for a PG-13, f-word, s-word
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Some alcohol
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended action-style violence, chases, explosions, guns, knives, punches, near-drowning, torture, attempted murder
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	July 19, 2024

Four years ago, the original “My Spy” was a familiar but mildly entertaining story about a cute 9-year-old teaming up with a gruff fighting machine, five tours in special forces CIA field agent. I questioned at the time why a movie about a 4th grader would be rated PG-13 for violence. That is an even bigger problem for the sequel, with Sophie (returning Chloe Coleman) now a 14-year-old in high school, and material that is too intense and inappropriate for young children but not interesting enough for teens and adults.

The first film matched up a fierce, all-but-emotionless tough guy who survived five tours of duty in special forces with an adorable little girl who wants to be a spy. Needless to say, no contest and — spoiler alert! — he’s pretty much a marshmallow (maybe one burnt around the edges) by the end of the movie. This one tries for the same kind of mixed match-up. The marshmallow, now the not-so-little girl’s step-dad, is up against something as daunting as a fighting machine veteran of special forces: adolescence.

Normally, I put this information at the end of the review, but because there is such a disconnect between the intended audience for “My Spy: Eternal City” and the content, I want to put it up front. This movie has some very strong language, a close-up of very accurate male genitals knocked off a statue, an adult woman advising a 14-year-old to use a lot of tongue in kissing and then (intended to be humorous) demonstrating by kissing her boss, jokes about menopause, a woman making an ugly joke insulting a male colleague about his (reference to a female body part), plus, of course, a lot of action-style violence with chases, explosions, shoot-outs, the inevitable comic crotch hit, a reference to suicide, a reference to mass killing, a near-drowning, knives, punches, torture, and terrorism, including a bomb under the Vatican. There is an extended scene where dozens of attacking little birds are sliced up into tiny pieces and it is supposed to be amusing. Not to spoil anything, but if there was a website called doesthefishdie.com, this movie would be on it.

Dave Bautista returns as JJ, the tough guy who is now a doting step-dad who loves cooking, his beloved fish from the first film, Blueberry, and spending time with Sophie who is continuing her training to be an agent. Her mother is in Rwanda on a humanitarian mission so it is just the two of them at home.

As anyone who has ever been or lived with a 14-year-old or watched “Inside Out 2” knows, that is a difficult time for everyone. Sophie tells JJ he is NOT her dad and that she now has other interests that go beyond mastering spy craft and training to become a fighting machine. The interest occupying her attention is Ryan (Billy Barratt) a jock with an angelic voice and something of a Justin Bieber vibe. They sing together in the school choir, which has been selected to perform in Venice, Florence, and at the Vatican. JJ, wanting to stay close to Sophie, volunteers to be a chaperone.

Also on the trip is Sophie’s shy friend and BFF, Collin (Taeho K), basically in the Duckie role here. Coincidentally, Collin thinks his dad (Ken Jeong as David Kim) is a pediatric nurse, but in reality he is JJ’s boss at the CIA. Once they get to Italy, there is a chaotic collision of teen misbehavior and terrorism as some very bad people are getting access to some very bad bombs. In fairness, there is also some very lovely choir music and Venice, Florence, and Rome are all beautiful.

Coleman is still an appealing young performer but the switch from a child softening the heart of the tough guy to the dad trying to stay close to his daughter does not work as well. Bautista looks tired, and the script doesn’t help, getting him beat up over and over. This sequel is a superfluous and unnecessary IP extender, which might be okay if it wasn’t creating a problem for parents who have to explain to eight-year-olds why they should not see it.

Parents should know that this film has very strong language, a close-up of very accurate male genitals knocked off a statue, an adult woman advising a 14-year-old to use a lot of tongue in kissing and then (intended to be humorous) demonstrating by kissing her boss, jokes about menopause, a woman making an ugly joke insulting a male colleague about his , plus, of course, a lot of action-style violence with chases, explosions, shoot-outs, the inevitable comic crotch hit, barfing, a reference to suicide, a reference to mass killing, slaughter of attacking birds and killing of a beloved pet, a near-drowning, knives, punches, torture, and terrorism, including a bomb under the Vatican.

Family discussion: Why did Sophie like Ryan? Why didn’t David tell his son the truth? Were you surprised at who was behind the terrorism?

If you like this, try: “My Spy,” “The Spy Who Dumped Me,” and “Spy”

Twisters

Posted on July 17, 2024 at 1:33 pm

B +

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for intense action and peril, some language and injury images
Profanity:	Some strong la

24 years ago, a cow flew across the screen and “Twister” became an instant summer movie classic. “Twister” had the magical combination of romance and action with then-state-of-the-art special effects, a human storyline just hefty enough to add urgency without disrupting the real reason we’re there (see above: flying cows), and two future Oscar-winners, Helen Hunt and Philip Seymour Hoffman, along with Bill Paxton, Carey Elwes, and Lois Smith, who adeptly set the tone at the sweet spot between drama and melodrama.

The ingredients that made that storyline work were the ideal recipe: take one pair of parted lovers (the about to divorce storm chasers), some human conflict to unite them (Elwes’ arrogant rich guy), and some beyond-human conflict to unite them even more (see: the title, reference to the ). Add in one newbie to be the receptacle for exposition dumps and for us to look down to even though in real life we would be even more terrified (Jami Gertz, rising above a thankless role). Result: almost half a billion dollars in worldwide box office. Also result: a somewhat sequel, trying to rekindle the magic.

It begins with a nod to the original, which ended (spoiler alert) with the Hunt and Paxton characters successfully launching “Dorothy” (yes, a reference to the Kansas girl who was whisked to Oz via twister). Dorothy was dozens of little data-collecting chrome balls that provided previously unavailable information about the structure of these terrifying, vastly destructive storms. Tornadoes, for those who did not pay attention during the exposition part of the first film, are violently rotating columns of air that reach both the surface of the Earth and a cumulonimbus cloud or, in rare cases, the base of a cumulus cloud. They look like a stormy vortex in the distance, they travel very fast, and they cause hundreds of millions of dollars of damage to property and crops every year. As briefly acknowledged in this new film without any suggestion of climate change as the precipitating (in both senses of the word) factor, the number of storms is increasing.

The opening of “Twisters” takes place five years ago, when a much-too-cheerful and therefore much-too-risk-taking group of students is still working with the Dorothy machine. It is led by Kate (Daisy Edgar-Jones), who is a scientist but also has something of a second sense about storms and the direction they will take. She is hoping to get a grant to help her not just understand twisters but to extinguish them, using the same ultra-absorbent material found in disposable diapers. The group is much too adorable and foolhardy to be there for any purpose but to teach our heroine a very painful lesson. The only survivors are Kate and Javi (Broadway’s Anthony Ramos of “Dumb Money” and “In the Heights”).

In the present day, Kate lives in New York, with businesslike clothes and hair. Her only connection to twisters is safely via computer screens. Javi shows up with some new technology developed by the military. He wants her to come with him to get the first 3D mapping of what goes on inside the twister vortex. At first she says no, but when he reminds her of how many lives can be saved, she agrees to join him in Oklahoma for a week.

There they run into hotshot YouTube stars and self-proclaimed “tornado wrangler” Tyler Owens (Glen Powell) and his ragtag gang, who seem to be out there for thrills and likes. Poncho-wearing fans happily buy their merch and track them as they track the storms with go-pros, a drone, and fireworks they shoot up inside the vortex for fun.

“Twisters” gently updates the technology to the era of cell phones and MRIs, noting that these days “anyone with a $10 weather app” can be a storm chaser. The insertion of a class developer villain making “all-cash offers” to the locals is clumsier. Should they have the option to go somewhere else? And what is he going to do with land that has driven long-time residents out due to extreme weather hazards? While we’re on the subject, shouldn’t there be more storm shelters in these communities?

Like the original, this film lightly sprinkles the emotions of the characters just enough to keep us going between the special effects. The role of exposition dump character this time is played by Ben (Harry Hadden-Paton), a British journalist who is writing about Tyler’s group. Instead of former spouses, Kate and Javi are former colleagues sharing some survivor guilt and Kate and Tyler are in the classic Pride and Prejudice dynamic as they discover their first impressions (BTW the original title of P&P) are not accurate. Oh, if only we had super-powerful military-grade diagnostic machines to examine each other.

We also have a wise and kindly older family member to visit for some moments of respite, in this case, replacing the wonderful Lois Smith in the original, and here the also wonderful Maura Tierney as Kate’s mother.

So, let’s get to what really matters: how about the special effects? They are excellent. Cows do not fly, but a lot does, including large vehicles and roofs. A wind farm is an especially good spot to let us see the impact of up to 360 miles per hour. If there is less excitement on screen, it is due to CGI fatigue in the audience, not the believability of what we see. (Steven Spielberg is one of the producers.)

“Twisters” will not rise to the level of its predecessor, but it is an entertaining summer popcorn pleasure that will continue to build Powell’s stature as one of Hollywood’s most appealing young stars.

Parents should know that this movie has extended and sometimes very scary action sequences of the most severe weather. Characters are injured and killed and there are some graphic images.

Family discussion: What was your first thought when you saw Tyler and his crew? What’s the difference between a tamer and a rustler? How do you know when fear should push you forward?

If you like this, try: “Twister” and documentaries like “Stormchasers” and the Nova episodes “Oklahoma’s Deadliest Tornadoes” and “Deadliest Tornadoes”