Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 5:59 pm

Copyright 2014 Paramount StudiosDear Michael Bay,
Just because you were able to turn one Saturday cartoon series for children into a PG-13 blockbuster, based on nostalgia on the part of its now-teen and 20-something audience and some world class special effects, does not mean that you can do the same with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This is less “Transformer” and more “Yogi Bear” or “Scooby-Doo.” In other words, step away from “Shirt Tales” and “The Wuzzles.” Please, just stop. Sincerely, The Movie Mom

Before it wore or, or, more accurately, wore down its welcome, the original “Transformers” was a refreshing surprise that kept the spirit of the original series.  But even as a cartoon show, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were meta and self-referential and cutesy.  I mean, just look at the concept: they’re turtles.  And ninjas.  And teenagers.  You can blow them up into CGI behemoths, but they still can’t make a movie work, even by bringing back the original star of the first “Transformers” movie, Megan Fox.

Fox plays April O’Neil, a would-be investigative reporter relegated by her condescending colleagues to cutesy stories like exercising on mini-trampolines in Times Square.  She would much rather be reporting on a powerful and merciless gang of criminals known as the Foot Clan.  No one believes her when she says she saw a super-strong vigilante in the shadows, fighting the Foot Clan, including her editor (a “what is she doing in this movie?” Whoopi Goldberg).  It turns out she has a connection to this mysterious crime-fighter.  Her father was a scientist who died in a tragic lab accident as he was working on a special strength-giving serum by injecting it into four young turtles.  The night the lab burned down, April rescued the turtles and a rat by letting them escape into the sewer.

A handy martial arts manual found in the sewer gives the rat, known as Splinter (voice of “Monk’s” Tony Shaloub) the chance to train the young turtles, and the effects of the injections make them grow up to be large, muscular, and able to stand upright.  Each of the four has a different color mask and a Smurf-like individual personality quirk.  But they all love pizza.

The action scenes are well-staged, especially a snowy chase scene, though I have no idea where the snow came from as we only see snow outside the city.  But the script is lame and the violence is too intense for anyone old enough to be interested.  A slumming William Fitchner plays an industrialist who is not as philanthropic as he seems. And the scenes with an even-more slumming Will Arnett (what happened to his career?), whose two functions are to drive April around and be generally skeezy about his interest in her, are just painful.  April strives to be taken seriously as a journalist.  Fox, sadly, fails to be taken seriously as an actress (which she really is — see “This is 40”).

And the title characters are under-used as well.  For a movie about the TMNTs, they just don’t have enough to do beyond loving pizza and kicking bad guys. Whatever charm existed in the original cartoons is trampled by this over-blown bore.

Parents should know that this film includes cartoon-style action, peril, and violence, sad off-screen death of a parent, some brief disturbing images, some crude humor and a brief potty joke.

Family discussion: Why didn’t anyone take April seriously? Which turtle is your favorite and why?

If you like this, try: the TMNT cartoon series and the earlier films

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3D Action/Adventure Based on a television show Comic book/Comic Strip/Graphic Novel Fantasy Superhero Talking animals

The Hundred Foot Journey

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 5:59 pm

B
Lowest Recommended Age: Middle School
MPAA Rating: Rated PG for thematic elements, some violence, language and brief sensuality
Profanity: Brief strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs: Wine
Violence/ Scariness: Fires, sad death of parent, characters injured, vandalism
Diversity Issues: A theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters: August 8, 2014
Date Released to DVD: December 1, 2014
Amazon.com ASIN: B00MI56UI6
Copyright 2014 DreamWorks Studios
Copyright 2014 DreamWorks Studios

Shakespeare famously made fun of the notion of a sighing lover creating an ode “to his mistress’ eyebrow.” But it would take Shakespeare to do justice to Helen Mirren as a French woman of impeccable bearing who is able to punctuate her declarations with a perfect circumflex of that divine eyebrow, exquisitely conveying the steely authority that comes not just from being the boss but from being right.

Producers Oprah Winfrey and Steven Spielberg, screenwriter Steven Knight, and director Lasse Halström have adapted the book by Richard C. Morais into a cozy saga along the lines of Halström’s “Chocolat,” about a cross-cultural competition that turns into an alliance.  Every sunbeam, every garnish, and yes, every eyebrow is presented exactly comme il faut, and it has Mirren’s splendid performance.  And yet, for a story that is about the importance of excellence and innovation, it feels a little, well, under-spiced and overcooked.

Manish Dayal plays Hassan, the son of an Indian family that has been in the restaurant business for generations.  His mother was the first to recognize his gift for food, and brought him into the kitchen to teach him her skill with seasonings and her understanding of food as a sacred gift that shares memories as well as nourishment for the spirit and the body.  She knew that before one could cook, one must know how to taste.  When she is killed in a fire set by a rioting mob, Hassan’s father (Om Puri) moves the family to London.  But he is restless and no one likes the dreary weather.  “In England, the vegetables had no soul, no life.”  Papa took the family to find a new home.

Their van breaks down in a small French village, and, as Papa says, sometimes brakes break for a reason.  There is an abandoned restaurant for sale.  And if it is across the street from one of the most renowned restaurants in all of France, the proud awardee of one coveted Michelin star, well that is not a reason to be wary; it is a challenge.  The red Michelin guide awards one star to a restaurant that is worth a visit, two for a restaurant that is worth a detour, and three, the ultimate prize, for one that is worth a special journey.  Or, as a character puts it in this film, “One is good, two is amazing, three is for the gods.”

That is Margaret (the bewitchingly lovely Charlotte Le Bon), who rescues the Hassan family and gives them food so delicious that they wonder if they died in the accident and went to heaven. The olive oil is pressed from her trees.  The cheese is from her cows.  And she, too, is a would-be chef.  She works in the kitchen of the Michelin-starred restaurant, owned by the imperious Mme. Mallory (Mirren).  The world may be filled with chaos and mediocrity and disappointment, but the portion that is under the control of Mme. Mallory strives for perfection and almost always achieves it.

The Hassans open up their restaurant, even though there is no reason for anyone but eternal optimist Papa to believe that anyone in a small town in France wants to eat Indian food.  At first, there is war between the two restaurants.  But when Mme. Mallory realizes that it has gone too far, she admits that Hassan’s great gifts as a chef give them a connection far deeper than any commercial rivalry could obscure.  The hundred foot journey is from the Hassans’ home to Mme. Mallory’s establishment on the other side of the road.

The cinematography by “American Hustle’s” Linus Sandgren is luscious, the charming countryside dappled with syrupy golden sunshine, the food almost tactile and fragrant.  Mirren’s performance, from the steely resolve of the early scenes to the softening as she opens her heart, is always splendid, and, in contrast to the rest of the film, never overdone.  Maybe it’s just that the combination of Spielberg and Winfrey is just too potent.  They are going to warm your heart whether you want it or not.  It isn’t just the sunlight that is syrupy; the story is, too, much more than the book, with not one but two romances.  They may be sweet, but they also throw the theme off-balance, with collateral damage to the abilities and ambitions of the two key female characters, shrinking them to the role of love object/cheerleader.  The chef characters would know better than to allow such a sour flavor in anything so sugary.

Parents should know that this film includes themes of racism and cross-cultural conflicts, vandalism, riot, fires, and a sad death of a parent.

Family discussion: What is the difference between a cook and a chef? Which of the restaurants or dishes in this film would you like to try?

If you like this, try: “Chocolat” by the same director, and some other foodie movies like “Chef” and “Julie & Julia”

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Based on a book Comedy Date movie Drama DVD/Blu-Ray Pick of the Week Family Issues Romance

Into the Storm

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 5:48 pm

Copyright 2014 Warner Brothers
Copyright 2014 Warner Brothers

Let’s get this out of the way up front. It’s no “Twister,” which is not just the “Citizen Kane” of tornado movies, but a loveably cheesy thrill ride of a film that holds up very well even though its then-cutting edge special effects (that flying cow!) are no longer as surprising. But “Into the Storm” is an efficient little thrill ride of its own, tapping into fears about the ramped-up rage of post climate change storms.

A swift 90 minutes gives them 20 minutes to introduce the characters, their capabilities and vulnerabilities, 50 minutes of buildup, and 40 minutes of action.

There’s a brief prologue letting us know how deadly a tornado can be.  And then the characters are sketched in quickly with just enough of a story to help us tell them apart and give them some motivations and lessons to learn.

The hometown characters: Gary (Richard Armitage), a single father who is the assistant principal in an Oklahoma high school.  His two sons, the shy Donnie (Max Deacon), and  Trey (Nathan Kress of “iCarly”), are supposed to be at school to made a video of the graduation ceremony.  But Donnie gets the chance to help out the girl he has a crush on, Kaitlyn (Alycia Debnam Carey), by helping her get some video footage at an abandoned factory.

The storm chasers: Pete (“Veep’s” Matt Walsh), in a specially equipped tank outfitted with two dozen cameras and grappling claws, is about to lose his funding if he cannot provide storm footage.  In a van, a meteorologist named Allison (Sarah Wayne Callies) checks her monitors and worries about the five year old daughter she has left with her parents.  There are some assistants and camera operators on board as well.  We don’t need to get to know them too well.  We do get to see a “promotional video” about the vehicle so we can get a sense of its special features, including a turret set up to capture “a sight nobody but God has witnessed, the eye of the tornado.”

Oh, and there’s also a pair of idiots who like to think up dumb stunts and post them on YouTube.

There’s not a lot of creativity in the characters.  There is even less in the dialog, which relies heavily on disaster-movie standards.  “What used to be a once in a lifetime storm happens about once a year now,” an expert explains.   “I’ve never seen anything like this.”  Followed by, “This is the biggest tornado I’ve ever seen.”  But what we’re here for is the stunts and special effects, and those are just fine, from the small details like a little girl’s pink bicycle impaled on the side of a truck to a wind tunnel of fire and an entire car lot of vehicles tossed up into the air like ping pong balls in a juggling act.  Our most fundamental notions of physics are continually upended.  The pull of gravity is no match for the fury of the storm.  And that, after all, is what we came to see.

Parents should know that this film includes very intense and sometimes graphic and disturbing scenes of massive storm, with extended damage and constant peril, characters injured and killed, and some strong language and crude references.

Family discussion: Which character changed the the most over the course of the movie and why? What would you say if you thought they would be your last words?

If you like this, try: “Twister” and the documentary “Storm Chasing The Year of the EF-5: an Epic Journey Through Tornado Alley”

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3D Action/Adventure Scene After the Credits

List: Movies About Chefs

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 3:59 pm

Copyright Anchor Bay Entertainment
Copyright Anchor Bay Entertainment

In honor of this week’s release about competing chefs, “The Hundred Foot Journey,” I’ve put together a list of some of my favorite movies about cooks and chefs.

Julie & Julia Meryl Streep plays legendary chef Julia Child and Amy Adams plays the real-life amateur chef who decided to make every recipe in Child’s Child’s formidable French cookbook., which revolutionized American cooking (and television).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIvOLOOlU7g

Big Night Stanley Tucci and Tony Shaloub play brothers whose Italian restaurant is a little too authentic for its customers and its era.

Babette’s Feast A French servant in a small Danish village has a secret.  She was once a top chef.  When she wins the lottery she asks for permission to cook a meal for her employers, two spinster sisters who have spent their lives in severe simplicity and have never experienced anything like the luxury and sumptuousness of the meal she prepares.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvNifgj_dv4

No Reservations In this remake of the German film Mostly Martha, Catherine Zeta Jones plays a brilliant but temperamental chef whose life is turned upside down when she becomes the guardian for her young niece.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZVuqx9LRBA

Simply Irresistible  Sarah Michelle Geller is a chef with a magical touch in the kitchen in this delicious romance.

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For Your Netflix Queue Lists Neglected gem

Free for a Limited Time: 121 Best Books for Children

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 9:14 am

Copyright DALS
Copyright DALS

The wonderful folks at Dinner A Love Story have kindly made their 121 Books: The Greatest Kid Books of All Time ebook available for free for a limited time, so grab it right now.

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