Novocaine

Posted on March 13, 2025 at 5:53 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for strong bloody violence, grisly images, and language throughout
Profanity:	Constant very strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Alcohol, scene in a bar
Violence/ Scariness:	Constant peril and violence, many characters injured and killed, automatic weapons, injuries with ordinary but dangerous objects, graphic and disturbing wounds and other images
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	March 14, 2025

Pain has a purpose. It helps keep us safe. We avoid being hurt and we get help when we are hurt. But Nathan Caine (a game Jack Quaid) has a condition called congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis. He can be injured, but the pain message never makes it to his brain. The only way his parents could keep him safe was to keep him away from anything that might injure him. There’s a tennis ball on the corner of his desk just in case it is sharp enough to hurt him if he bangs into it. The tips of the pencils on his desk are covered. Nate does not eat solid food because what if he bit his tongue? He would never know.

He has a risk-averse job. That tennis ball-adorned desk is in a quiet neighborhood bank, where Nate is an assistant manager. At the office, he is kind to a widower who has missed his loan payments, giving him an unauthorized extension. And he looks longingly at Sherry (Amber Midthunder) but has no idea of how to talk to her. At home, he plays online games with Roscoe a 6’5″ guy with a man-bun, I mean a mini high ponytail, who rides a Harley. They’ve never actually met in person, but that’s as close to an IRL relationship as Nate has.

It is just before Christmas, and the bank is preparing for a busy day with people depositing their bonus checks. Then three men come in, dressed as Santa, and start shooting. Things go badly. The manager is killed. Many police officers are killed. And Sherry is taken hostage.

Nate immediately switches from being the most careful person on earth to being the most reckless as he races to rescue Sherry and basically turns the movie into something between an old school video game and a Road Runner cartoon. That almost but not quite makes it possible not to be overwhelmed by the constant carnage, with the Dolby sound of the guns making the theater seats shake.

It’s just one scene after another of Nate going after the bad guys, the cops going after him, the bad guys going after him, at one point a booby-trapped house going after him. Screenwriter Lars Jacobson comes up with a very inventive series of ways to inflict injury, if not pain, on Nate, whether he is sticking his hand in boiling oil to retrieve a gun, removing a bullet from his arm and sewing up the wound, being slammed in the back with a giant shining spiked flail, and pulling out a big knife that went through his hand so he can use it on someone else. As they used to say in the Timex watch commercials, he takes a licking and keeps on ticking. None of it makes sense, even if he does stop for an adrenaline injection, but if we wanted to see something make sense we’d be at a different movie.

Hero Quaid and Ray Nicholson, who plays bad guy Simon, are both sons of Hollywood stars, and we can guess who their fathers are when they smile. Quaid is the son of Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid, and he has his dad’s wickedly charming grin. Nicholson does not look much like his dad, Jack, until we see his smile. Midthunder is also from a show business family; her father is an actor and her mother is a casting director. She is also appearing in another movie opening this week, “Opus,” with John Malcovich. In her first lead role in a film, she is immensely appealing and gives her character more depth than we might expect, deftly rounding some character arcs that would be a challenge for many more experienced performers.

As we careen from fight to shoot-out to chase, it feels more like an FPS game than a story, but what little story there is gives Nate a chance to discover himself and his capabilities, including connections to Shelly and Roscoe. Quaid handles all of that more than capably. It’s not memorable, and there’s too much carnage for the spirited tone it strives for, but the actors make it work.

Parents should know that this film has non-stop very intense peril and violence with many characters injured and killed and many graphic and disturbing images. Characters use constant very strong language. Characters drink alcohol and there is a scene in a bar.

Family discussion: Why didn’t Nate tell the police how to find the robbers? Do you agree with what the judge decided?

If you like this, try: “Crank” and “Shoot ’em Up”

Love Hurts

Posted on February 6, 2025 at 12:52 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for strong/bloody violence and language throughout
Profanity:	Constant very strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Constant peril and violence, many graphic and disturbing images, characters injured and killed, knives, guns, taser, and a lethal straw
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	February 7, 2025

As the poem goes, in this action/comedy/romance starring two Oscar winners, the character played by Ke Huy Quan is bloody but unbowed. As the old Timex commercial goes, he takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Quan plays mild-mannered realtor Marvin Gable, whose passion is finding homes for his clients. He tells them how much he loved moving into his home and how he wants to create that same feeling of joy, comfort, and safety for them. When he wins the regional realtor of the year award, it brings him to tears. He says that his work as a realtor has given him meaning

And then Marvin receives a handmade valentine that simply says, “I’m back.” Based on this and so many, many other movies, including the recent “Back in Action,” plus “The Family Plan,” “Spy Kids,” and even Viveca A. Fox in “Kill Bill,” you’d think every block in suburbia has a neighbor with a history as an assassin or spy.

As the realty firm’s Valentine’s Day party goes out outside his office door, Marvin is visited by someone from his past, a poetic hitman known as Raven (Mustafa Shakir, making a strong impression in action scenes and more sensitive moments as well). A local gangster named Knuckles (Daniel Wu), who happens to be Marvin’s brother, Alvin, has sent a bunch of tough guys after Marvin. Knuckles thinks Marvin can lead him to Rose (Ariana DeBose). Marvin was ordered to kill her for stealing from Knuckles, but instead he told Knuckles Rose was dead and let her escape. Knuckles has also received a valentine, and he wants Rose captured alive. He does not know that his top henchman, Merlo (Cam Gigandet) wants Rose dead so she cannot reveal that he was the one stealing from Knuckles.

All of this means that we are in for one bone-crunching literal back-stabbing (and other stabbing of body parts, too, including a hand and an eye) after another, plus lots of kicking, punching, bone-crunching, body part slicing, knives, darts, guns, a taser, a giant fork and spoon (production designer Craig Sandells really nails the Pinterest aesthetic staging of homes for sale), and, surprisingly, a lethal boba tea straw. The poster boasts that this film is from the producers of “Nobody” and “Fright Night,” and Quan says this is a tribute to the Hong Kong action films of Jet Li, Jackie Chan, and his other favorites, which means it is bloodier and more graphic than most action comedies. A lovable character is murdered. So is an innocent bystander who tries to help.

Quan and DeBose have endlessly appealing screen presences and the fight scenes are superbly choreographed. There are many touches of humor and even charm, an assassin finding love with Marvin’s depressed assistant (Lio Tipton), Marvin using his karate chop skills to plump the accent pillows in the house he is showing, some clever use of available objects in the fight, especially when Marvin keeps trying to protect his precious award certificate. But the brutality of the fight scenes is so intense and disturbing that it will outweigh the lighter moments for many viewers.

Parents should know that this movie has constant strong language and constant very graphic and bloody fight scenes with characters badly injured and killed.

Family discussion: What did Marvin like about being a realtor? What does it mean to say “hiding isn’t living?” What creates a “beautiful monster?”

If you like this, try: “Bullet Train”

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim

Posted on December 12, 2024 at 5:43 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for strong violence
Profanity:	None
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended fantasy and action violence, scary animals, swords, fire, characters injured and killed
Diversity Issues:	Strong, fierce female characters
Date Released to Theaters:	December 13, 2024

“The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim” takes us back to Middle Earth, nearly 200 years before the adventures of the Bagginses and the Fellowship of the Ring. For those whose reaction to this IP brand extension is, “Great! I can’t wait to learn more about the stories behind the story and feel satisfaction when familiar places and characters are name-checked,” this animated story, produced by LOTR director Peter Jackson, will be welcome.

Fans of animation with a taste for anime style, are likely to find this a disappointment. While our heroine, Hèra (Gaia Wise) has big, sometimes expressive anime eyes, the overall style of the animation here is, in a year that included “The Wild Robot,” “Flow,” and “Inside Out 2,” disappointing. Many of the backgrounds are detailed and dimensional, some almost photographic, while the characters and animals are flat and minimalist. Their interactions with the environment seem weightless, any sense of heaviness or the impact of a punch or a fall coming more from the sound effects than the visuals.

Ancillary stories that spring like tree branches from beloved sources have to succeed as independent, stand-alone stories, and this one does not. The Lord of the Rings sagas, books and movies are memorable because of the compelling characters and storylines. The details of the world of hobbits, elves, orcs, ents, and a dragon, not to mention a complete language, are imaginative, but it is the themes of honor, purpose, and loyalty that make them beloved by generations. The characters and storylines here are close to generic.

King Helm Hammerhand of Rohan (Brian Cox of “Succession” and “Manhunter”) is a warrior by nature, physically and politically powerful ruler, generally fair-minded, though he underestimates his “wild, headstrong” daughter, Hèra in favor of his two sons. At a gathering of the noblemen, Freca (Shaun Dooley) barges in, demanding that Hèra marries his son Wulf (Luca Pasqualino) so they can take over the kingdom. Wulf and Hèra played together as children and she still feels warmly toward him. But she insists that she has no interest in marrying anyone. Helm and Freca get into a fistfight, and with one mighty punch Helm knocks Freca down, killing him. Helm banishes Wulf.

Wulf all but disappears and they hear nothing more from him for a few years until he returns, with an army, to capture Hèra and attack Rohan. This means a lot of battles, with just-passable animation and discussions of battle strategy with mostly passable dialogue. This movie never convinces us that there is a reason to make it, and that means there is only reason to watch it for those who will perk up at the mention of familiar places and characters.

Parents should know that this is a very violent film with many battle scenes and a few graphic and disturbing images including dead animals and a severed arm. A young man sees his father killed in a fight and a young woman sees her brother murdered. Characters are killed sacrificing themselves for others.

Family discussion: Why didn’t Helm listen to Hèra? Why were Wulf and Freca so angry and resentful? What was the scariest part?

If you like this, try: the “Lord of the Rings” books and movies

Moana 2

Posted on November 26, 2024 at 6:37 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	Kindergarten - 3rd Grade
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for action/peril
Profanity:	None
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Toxic darts
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended fantasy peril and violence, scary monsters
Diversity Issues:	A theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters:	November 27, 2024

MOANA 2 – © 2024 Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

“Moana 2” is colorful and exciting, often beautiful to watch, with some catchy songs. But the storyline is overcomplicated and it does not have the heart (or the Lin-Manuel Miranda bangers) of the first film. It is episodic, with a complicated array of different places, characters, and stakes, evidence of its original version as a series for Disney+. The mid-credit scene is a cliffhanger that makes the entire film seem like a teaser for what comes next, most likely a series that keeps the story going.

At the end of the first film, Moana (Auli’i Cravalho) came home in triumph having — with the help of demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson) — restored the balance of the universe by returning the heart of Te Fiti and removing the curse that was blighting her island. You don’t need to worry about whether you’ve seen the first one or not; there’s a recap.

Three years later, Moana has grown up a lot. She has the same adventuresome spirit and is proud of being a “way finder,” but has more confidence and skill, as we see her maneuver her boat, handling the ropes and sails like a seasoned salt. She adores her little sister, Simea (Khaleesi Lambert-Tsuda) and her loving parents are very proud of her vision and leadership.

As in the first film, Moana sets off on a journey. The first journey was to reconnect with the history of her people and remove the curse on her people. This time, she is in search of other people from other places and cultures. She assembles a crew. Moni (Hualalai Chung) is a Maui fanboy, a storyteller tied to the legends of the community, and very enthusiastic. Loto (Rose Matafeo) is the gear-head everyone needs on a voyage, filled with ideas about how to make everything work more smoothly. But her most valuable assets are her unquenchable enthusiasm, quick problem-solving, and her ability to turn disastrous damage into something that will still get the group where they need to go. The most unexpected addition to the crew is Kele (David Fane), a grumpy elder whose speciality — farming — and lack of enthusiasm seem like impediments, at least at first.

Of course no Moana journey would be complete without her animal sidekicks, the scrawny rooster Heihei (Alan Tudyk) and the little pig Pua (left behind in the first film but along for the ride this time).

Moana and the crew land on an island of the Kakamora, cute but fierce coconut creatures (think the Ewoks except they are either wearing or made of coconuts). They have paralyzing darts (children will enjoy where the toxic gel comes from) but they also have the antidote, a large, green, jello-like creature. One of them joins the voyage.

They also have an encounter with a mysterious woman whose song has an unusual message for a wayfarer. Her name is Matangi (Awhimai Fraser) and her advice is to “get lost, cut loose, and lose your way.” She is friends with bats. She captured Maui. And she seems to be a captive herself, all of which should make Moana (and us) a suspicious. Is Matangi trying to help Moana and her crew or is she trying to help herself? Moana takes it as permission to worry less about finding the right way and allow herself to enjoy the freedom of not knowing exactly where she is going. And once Maui is on board (literally), giving him a chance to spit some rhymes in the lickity-split fast “Can I Get A Chee Hoo” you can expect to hear children rapping non-stop.

The visuals are as Disney-sublime. Water wishes it could be as water-ish as the water in this movie. Songwriters Abigail Barlow and Emily Bear created good, singable songs that help tell the story. The mechanics and rigging are superbly imagined in the musical numbers and the action sequences with characters and pieces of the boat flying in every direction. The new characters are welcome additions, especially Loto, but they are thinly imagined and we do not get enough time with them to form a connection. So much was happening and the mythology underlying it was so complicated, I kept wishing for a better balance between story and action. Also, it takes much too long to reunite Maui and Moana. Johnson, who also produced, should have made sure his energy was boosting the first third of the film.

So, this is not top-level Disney, but Moana remains an appealing character and if she gets a bit lost in this chapter, we will wait for her to find her way.

Note: stay for a mid-credit sequence that sets the stage for the next chapter

Parents should know that this movie has some scary monsters and some gross-out humor. Characters are in peril. Moana has contact with her ancestors, including her late grandmother.

Family discussion: How do you learn who you’re meant to be? What do you think Matangi will do next? What would you like to ask your ancestors?

If you like this, try: “Moana” and “Lilo and Stitch”

Gladiator II

Posted on November 20, 2024 at 6:25 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for strong bloody violence
Profanity:	Fierce language
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended, intense, and graphic violence, swords, animal attacks, characters injured and killed, disturbing images
Date Released to Theaters:	November 22, 2024
Date Released to DVD:	January 22, 2025

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is GLADIATOR-2-121124-MCDGLTW_PA010.jpg-1024x768.webp — Gladiator II copyright 2024 Paramount

“Gladiator II” looks magnificent. Denzel Washington effortlessly steals every scene he is in and all but winks at us to show how much he is enjoying it. But the script is weak and too repetitive , the movie is too long, and the fight scenes, no matter how staged, just get numbing after a while. When I saw it, the audience was so disconnected from the storyline that they laughed at an admittedly corny reveal that was clearly a turning point that puts one of the main characters in danger.

For those who still remember the details of 2000’s Oscar-winning “Gladiator,” starring Russell Crowe, this film takes place a generation later, with only one returning main character aside from a couple of brief flashbacks and Derek Jacobi in a few scenes as a member of the political elite.

Connie Nelson is back as Lucilla, the royal daughter of the idealistic Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who was murdered by his son and her brother in the first film. She is now married to Rome’s top soldier, Marcus Acacius (Pedro Pascal).

We get a few minutes of blissful farm life in a remote village before the Roman navy arrives to take it over and the farmer and his beautiful and beloved wife have to suit up as soldiers. We know what happens to peaceful farmers and beautiful, beloved wives in these kinds of movies. Indeed, this is pretty much a replay of the first “Gladiator,” except this time the beautiful wife is also a fierce soldier. No big difference, though, because she gets killed off to fuel what we will later hear is the farmer’s biggest asset as an arena fighter, not strength or skill but rage.

That assessment of the farmer (Mescal) comes from Macrinus (Washington), who runs the gladiator program, wears only the finest glam. He is a trusted purveyor of news and rumors to everyone in Rome, especially Geta (Joseph Quinn of “Stranger Things”) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger of “Thelma”), the decadent young emperor-brothers who whine and lounge around in white face make-up except when they are enjoying the bloody battles in the colosseum. When the farmer-turned fighter says what he wants is a chance to cut off Acacius’ head, Macrinus tells him he will have it, and his freedom, too, if he succeeds in the arena.

Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal are two of the most charismatic, versatile, and talented actors in movies. Mescal can make a smile convey more than a page of dialogue or 15 minutes of backstory. Pascal has unmatchable comic timing. The one-dimensional characters they play do not give them a chance to show us their best. Instead, they have distractingly bulked up, like Popeye after the spinach. They look great in those Roman skirts, especially in the fight scenes, but even they cannot make the wooden dialogue and awkward plot twists work.

So much for the plot. Some people may want to make parallels between the fall of Rome and some of today’s headlines, but it won’t get you very far. I’m not going to give away the not-much-of-a-twist, which is in the trailer, so if you don’t want to know, don’t peek. In fact, you might do better to watch the without sound (you’d miss the score but you’d also miss the sounds of bones crunching and blood spurting). The dialogue is clunky and the storyline is hackneyed. The fans who come for the spectacle and pageantry will do fine, though, as director Ridley Scott and production designer Arthur Max make all of the long shots very impressive. Those who are there for the fight scenes will appreciate the variety — swords, of course, and attacks by crazed monkeys, sharks, and a rhino.

For me, though, it started to feel more like a game than a story and much too long.

Parents should know that this film has extended, very graphic violence with many characters injured and killed and many, many disturbing bloody images and sounds including decapitation. Characters drink alcohol and use drugs. A character essentially commits suicide. There is a reference to venereal disease.

Family discussion: Was rage the gladiator’s most valuable quality? How were the gladiator and the general alike?

If you like this, try: “Gladiator” with Russell Crowe