The Legend of Hercules

Posted on January 9, 2014 at 11:20 pm

Director Renny Harlin has made a Hercules epic with drab, washed-out cinematography, poorly staged action scenes, incompetent acting, bad hair, terrible computer effects, and dialogue that lands more heavily than the title character’s punch. Even at just over 90 minutes it feels much too long. Harlin is way too fond of halting the acting with a slo-mo pause or freeze frame. By the last half hour it was worse than repetitive; it was an infuriating tactic for prolonging the end of the film. Talk about adding insult to injury.

In the first of two 3D Hercules movies scheduled for 2014, “Twilight” hottie Kellan Lutz plays the legendary strong man. Instead of sticking with the perfectly good Labors of Hercules storyline that has captivated audiences for thousands of years, this movie goes straight for the generic sword and sandal epic — there’s the Tessarakonteres with galley slaves whipped to row harder, the battle scenes with soldiers wielding swords and shields, the combat to the death in an arena with thousands of the least persuasive computer-generated audience members ever. There’s some argle bargle about whether our hero will accept his destiny and there’s a love story. There’s even, heaven help us, a going into battle pep talk so beyond Lutz’s capacity that he sounds less like a demigod than like he’s ordering a round of beers for the fellows.

Hercules is the son of Queen Alcmene and Zeus, the leader of the gods. Alcmene has already had a son with her husband, the cruel despot King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins). She prays to Hera for help, and the goddess gives her permission for her husband, Zeus, to give Alcmene another son, who will be half-god and will bring peace back to the kingdom. Amphitryon knows the boy is not his.

We skip ahead 20 years to see Hercules (Lutz) frolicking with the beautiful blonde Princess Hebe (Gaia Weiss). They are in love, but she is pledged to his angry and jealous half-brother, the heir to the throne. Soon, Hercules is sent away on a mission that will turn out to be a trap. He is taken prisoner, sold into slavery, and forced into gladiator-style combat to the death.

The actors were cast for their muscles and fighting skills rather than their acting. That would not be so bad except that they are called upon to spout clunky dialogue in fake — and highly variable — English theater-style accents. But what really takes all the air out of this balloon is its very premise. If Hercules has super-powers and the protection of his Olympian father, it dissipates any dramatic tension or sense of genuine peril. And when the crowd goes wild and starts yelling “Hercules! Hercules!” it is impossible not to think of Eddie Murphy, and wish he would show up to pick up the pace.

Parents should know that this movie includes sword and sandal-style epic action with a extensive fighting and battles, characters injured and killed, also murder and attempted suicide, sexual situation and some sexual references.

Family discussion: Why did Hercules resist his destiny? Why did he give up his special powers for the final battle?

If you like this, try: the original “Clash of the Titans” and Russell Crowe’s “Gladiator”

Contest: Journey to a Christmas Star

Posted on December 21, 2013 at 2:17 pm

Norway’s most beloved Christmas story is directed by Academy Award nominee Nils Gaup. It is the story of a courageous girl who sets out on a hazardous journey across a gorgeous winter wonderland to find the Christmas Star in order to free the kingdom from a curse and bring back a long lost princess. She makes some friends along the way, including Father Christmas, but some mighty foes try to stop her.

I have a copy to give away! Send me an email at moviemom@moviemom.com with Star in the subject line and tell me your favorite star or constellation. Don’t forget your address! (US addresses only). I’ll pick a winner at random on December 31, 2013. Good luck!

The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 6:00 pm

B+

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 For extended sequences of intense fantasy action violence, and frightening images
Profanity:	None
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Extensive and intense fantasy-style violence with characters in peril, monsters, weapons, and fights, characters injured and killed
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters, some
Date Released to Theaters:	December 13, 2013
Date Released to DVD:	April 7, 2014
Amazon.com ASIN:	B00BEJL75I

Everybody ups his game in this second of the three-part Peter Jackson version of J.R.R. Tolkein’s The Hobbit; or, There and Back Again. The first one courageously tried out the new hyper-clear technology with twice as many frames per second that felt disorienting, chilly, and a little thin. More seriously, it got bogged down in the storytelling. A book about a journey became a movie that spends 40 minutes at home before anyone goes anywhere (with two different songs). This second chapter starts right in the middle of the action and never stops.

Here’s a summary of the first film to get you up to date in case you skipped it or don’t remember: Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), the title character, is accompanying a brave group of dwarves on a quest that will take them to the mountain lair of an angry dragon named Smaug who sleeps on an endless pile of stolen gold and jewels. In part one, they made it part of the way there. Part two begins in the midst of the action. They are still far from their destination but every step is treacherous and every stage in the journey brings more trouble. Middle Earth is deeply troubled by its divisions. Dwarves and Elves do not trust one another.

Martin Freeman returns as Bilbo, whose epic travels inspire an inner journey toward meaning and purpose. We see his struggle when he cannot bring himself to tell Gandalf (Ian McKellen) the truth about what he found. He wants to tell the wizard about the magical golden ring he discovered. But when the moment comes, and he can only say that what he found in the cave is his courage. That is an intriguing statement, partly true, partly self-evidently false as he does not have the courage to tell Gandalf about the ring. But as we know from the Ring trilogy, part of the power of that plain gold band is the way it works on those who — at least temporarily — possess it. Perhaps it is the ring that tells Bilbo to keep the secret.

But Bilbo, reluctant to join the dwarves in part one, is fully committed now, so in that sense he has found his courage, and finding it, now sees himself differently. And it is that inner journey that holds the story together amidst the arrows and giant spiders and swashbuckling and guy with bird poop on his head and portentous statements like, “The fortunes of the world will rise and fall but here in this kingdom we will endure” (when we know they will) and “This forest feels as though a dread lies upon it” (when we know it does), and “It’s not our fight” (when we know it is).

Purists may object to the insertion of a brand-new character, but Evangeline Lilly as Tauriel, a warrior elf, is such a welcome addition that even Tolkein should be glad to add her to the cast. And then, finally, there is Smaug, a scary monster who can see where humans, hobbits, dwarves, and elves cannot. Benedict Cumberbatch, in his fifth major film appearance this year, provides the voice of ultimate predatory evil, and a cliffhanger that leaves us eager for the final chapter.

The intricacy of the detail everywhere you look is more than gorgeous. It lends a timelessness to the story. It tells us that there is a history here, that the people who created these structures intended them to be permanent and beautiful. The fight scenes, staged as well or better than any other this year, are more than graceful violence. They, too, communicate a seriousness of purpose and meaning that these characters bring to their lives — and inspire in ours.

Parents should know that like the other “Lord of the Rings” films, this one includes intense and sometimes graphic fantasy violence with monsters (dragon, giant spiders), weapons, fights, and constant peril, and characters are injured and killed.

Family discussion: What title would you pick for yourself? Why does Bilbo agree to get the Arkenstone? Why doesn’t he tell the truth about the ring?

If you like this, try: the book by J.R.R. Tolkien and the “Lord of the Rings” Trilogy

List: Movie Dragons

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 8:00 am

In honor of this week’s release of the second Hobbit movie, featuring Benedict Cumberbatch as the dragon Smaug, here are some of my other favorite movie dragons.

1. How to Train Your Dragon One of the best animated movies in the last decade is this story of a Viking boy who learns that dragons are not as scary as the people in his village believe. The variety of dragon species is endlessly entertaining in this smart, exciting, and heartwarming film. I’ve seen clips from the upcoming sequel and it looks just as awesome.

2. Pete’s Dragon Disney’s live action/animated musical about a boy and his dragon friend features 60’s pop star Helen Reddy and Jim Dale, best known today as the narrator of the Harry Potter audiobooks.

3. Dragonslayer Peter MacNichol plays a young apprentice to a wizard who is sent to kill the dragon that has been devouring girls from a nearby community. The setting is at the end of the era of fantasy, as Christianity takes hold.

4. The Reluctant Dragon Humorist Robert Benchley visits the Disney animation studios to persuade them to make a cartoon from his story of a dragon who would rather write poetry than fight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71Lu9MsQ1yM

5. Mulan Eddie Murphy provides the voice for a small dragon named Mushu in this classic Disney story based on the legend of a girl who disguised herself as a male soldier to save her people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AT4FuGxTMg

6. Shrek In this delightfully skewed fairy tale, not only is the ogre the hero, but the dragon falls in love.

7. Sleeping Beauty When the evil fairy has to fight the gallant prince, to keep him from waking the princess, she transforms herself into a fire-breathing dragon and they have an epic battle.

8. Spirited Away Hayao Miyazaki’s story about a girl who finds an enchanted land where she meets a dragon and recognizes that he is really a boy who has been transformed.

9. Dragonheart Sean Connery provides the voice of the last dragon, who must work with a knight (Dennis Quaid) to defeat an evil king.

10.Enchanted Susan Sarandon plays the evil queen who transforms herself into a dragon.

And here’s a list from Leigh Singer. How many can you name?

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Fantasy For Your Netflix Queue Lists

Frozen

Posted on November 26, 2013 at 5:00 pm

A-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Kindergarten - 3rd Grade
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for some action and mild rude humor
Profanity:	Brief schoolyard language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Scary wolves, snow monster, peril, sad death of parents
Diversity Issues:	Strong female characters
Date Released to Theaters:	November 27, 2013
Date Released to DVD:	March 17, 2014
Amazon.com ASIN:	B00G5G7K7O

Smart, exciting, funny, sweet, tuneful, and gorgeously animated, the Oscar-winning “Frozen” adapts Hans Christian Andersen’s classic fairy tale into a story of two sisters kept apart by a scary secret. Scary wolves, an enormous snow monster, a perilous journey, a warm (yes)-hearted snowman, a loyal reindeer, a sleigh ride, a sensational ice castle, and a little romance keep things moving briskly, but it is the relationship of the sisters that makes this movie something special. There’s a surprisingly strong emotional connection.

The king and queen of Arendelle love their two daughters, Elsa and Anna, and the girls are best friends. Anna loves to ask her big sister to “do the magic,” because Ilsa was born with the special power to create snow and ice. But an accident almost becomes a tragedy, and the trolls who heal Anna remove her memory of her sister’s gift.

Their parents lock the gates around the castle and keep the girls apart. They tell Elsa to “conceal it, don’t feel it.” They want to protect her from those who might be afraid of her ability and protect those she might hurt as she grows up and her gift becomes more powerful. She wears gloves all the time and stays in her room. Anna wanders the castle alone, singing to the paintings, with no one to talk to. Although she no longer remembers the details of their former closeness and the time they spent together, she is devastated that her sister will not see her.

Their parents are lost at sea, and three years later Elsa (Broadway star Idina Menzel) is about to be crowned queen. Anna (Kristen Bell of “Veronica Mars”) is overjoyed to be seeing her sister and excited about meeting the people who will come through the gates that are opened at last. She is charmingly awkward, having had no opportunity to learn any social skills, but that does not seem to matter to the very handsome Prince Hans (Santino Fontana), who proposes just a few hours after they meet. Anna is overjoyed.

But Elsa forbids the marriage and when Anna objects, her frustration and fury explodes, turning the balmy summer into a frozen winter. Elsa runs away, locking herself into a dazzling palace made of ice in the mountains. Anna follows, sure that she can make things right if she can just talk to Elsa about what is going on. And that is where the adventure begins. She meets a rough-hewn ice harvester named Kristoff (Jonathan Groff of “Glee”) and his reindeer Sven and a sunny-spirited, warm-hearted, and familiar-looking snowman named Olaf (Josh Gad of “Thank You for Sharing”). And when they get to the ice palace, things do not turn out the way she expects.

Human animated characters tend to be bland-looking, but the voice talents have enormous spirit that gives them a lot of life. Broadway stars Menzel, Groff (“Spring Awakening”), Bell (“The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”), and Gad (“The Book of Mormon”) make the most of a tuneful score featuring the Oscar-winning “Let It Go.” The songs are beautifully acted as well as sung. Highlights include an adorable ode to summer from Olaf, who is not quite clear on the physical properties of snow as temperatures rise, Kristoff’s “duetted” ode to reindeer with Sven (he sings both parts), and Menzel’s powerful “Let it Go.” Bell’s sweet voice is lovely as she sings to the paintings in the castle about her longing for people and then exalts in her love for Prince Hans. There is also a charming ensemble with trolls singing about how we’re all in our own way “fixer-uppers.”

The animation is everything we hope for from Disney, one “how did they do that?” after another, with ice and snow so real and so touchable you may find yourself zipping up your parka in the theater. But the effects and action are all in service of the story, with a contemporary twist that is as welcome as summer’s return.

NOTE: Be sure to get to the theater in time as one of the highlights is the pre-feature short, starring a vintage Mickey Mouse voiced by Walt Disney himself. It is a masterpiece of wit and technology that must be seen a couple of times to fully appreciate. And be sure to stay through the end of the credits for an extra scene re-visiting one of the film’s most powerful characters.

Parents should know that this film include characters in peril, some injuries and action-style scares, monster, the sad deaths of a mother and father, some potty humor, and kissing.

Family discussion: What’s a fixer-upper? Why did Elsa’s parents tell her not to feel? Why was she afraid of her power? Why didn’t her parents want anyone to know the truth, and how did that make Elsa and Anna feel? Who do you think is a love expert?

If you like this, try: “Tangled,” “Brave,” and “The Princess and the Frog”