Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Posted on October 20, 2009 at 8:00 am

Oh, dear. #TransformerFail

I truly loved the first Transformers movie. It was everything you need in a big summer explosion movie, with stupendous special effects, shot through with heart-thumping adrenaline, with just enough character and storyline to allow us to catch our breath and keep us interested. Our hero, high school senior Sam (Shia LeBeouf), is befriended by a car that turns into a friendly robot called Bumblebee, one of a cadre of good-guy transforming robots who fight against the bad-guy robots, called Decepticons. He is aided by a beautiful girl who is very good with cars (Megan Fox) and an armed services division led by Captain Lennox (Josh Duhamel).

This sequel has some great special effects, but the story and the characters are poorly handled and the pacing is a mess. When the robots give a better performance than the humans, we have a problem. When the action is so complicated we can’t figure out who is where and in some cases why they are there, we have a bigger problem. When the characters are so irritating we begin to consider rooting for the bad guys, well, you know what kind of a problem we have. And when the racial humor gets so completely out of hand that it becomes uncomfortable at best and genuinely disturbing at worst, it’s a serious problem.

LeBoeuf is always appealing, Fox looks good stretching over machinery, and the movie briefly takes an interesting turn when both human and transformer characters show that they can learn from their mistakes and switch over to the side of the good guys. A stop at the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum leads to Jetfire, an engaging junkpile of an autobot.

But it is too loud and it all goes on much too long. The bloated running time is well over two hours, overstuffed with pointless and increasingly annoying attempts at comedy — Sam’s mother accidentally gets high and talks about his sex life, Sam’s father doesn’t get high but talks about his sex life, good guy robots talk like the end men on a minstrel show, and Sam’s college roommate is a loudmouth who wants to get with some ladies and shrieks like a little girl when he is scared, which happens a lot. There’s another series of confrontations between a clueless bureaucrat and our know-better heroes. But the last movie’s clueless bureaucrat somehow switches sides. I would complain that this is not adequately explained, but I don’t really care. By this point, I began to think the Decepticons might have a point about how they could do better with our planet than we could.

Alien Trespass

Posted on August 10, 2009 at 7:00 am

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for sci-fi action and brief historical smoking
Profanity:	None
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Social drinking, characters get drunk
Violence/ Scariness:	Sci-fi violence, characters in peril, injured and killed
Diversity Issues:	Mild joshing of 1950's stereotypes
Date Released to Theaters:	April 3, 2009
Date Released to DVD:	August 11, 2009
Amazon.com ASIN:	B0029W2V9U

Was there ever a time when cheesy 1950’s sci-fi movies were actually scary? Is it because they are so low tech in comparison to the intense realism of CGI? Or is it just the balsa wood sets and cardboard dialog that seems so endearingly innocent now? This affectionate tribute to the low budget movies that played in drive-ins and were shown on Saturday morning television comes from R.W. Goodwin, whose love for the movies he saw as a kid helped inspire him to co-produce “The X-Files.” And this is a loving appreciation, not a parody. There’s no winking at the camera. And there’s no exaggeration, but then, none is necessary.

The shrewd script gives us the perfect assortment of 1950’s archetypal characters, with special emphasis on two of the 1950’s primary fixations — the suburban married couple who exemplify “togetherness” and the teenagers who may look like Archie and Betty but could be juvenile delinquents. Like all of this category of movies, the space invaders plot is just a way of addressing that other fixation of the 1950’s, the cold war.

There’s Ted Lewis, a pipe-smoking professor (“Will and Grace’s” Eric McCormack) and his luscious wife Lana (Jody Thomson), who always seems to be pouring cocktails or lighting candles suggestively. There are the high school sweethearts, Penny (Sarah Smyth) in flared skirts and saddle shoes and Dick (Andrew Dunbar), the guy with the letter sweater. Their pal with the “Wild Ones” hair, t-shirt, and jacket is Cody (a terrific Aaron Brooks). There’s the about-to-retire sheriff (“Wonder Years'” Dan Lauria) and his get-em officer Vernon (Robert Patrick). And there’s Tammy, the waitress with artistic aspirations and a heart of gold (Jenni Baird).

Penny and Dick are out necking in the mountains when something strange happens and they race back to town. Professor Lewis sees it through his telescope and goes to investigate. He is sucked into a spaceship and when he emerges, he is…different. The professor’s body has been borrowed by a law enforcement alien who has come to earth to kill off an evil, destructive alien with tentacles.

Like the films it salutes, this was made quickly and on a minuscule budget. But there is a lot more talent behind and in front of the camera than there was in the originals. Goodwin said he made the movie because he loved those old films and wished there had been more of them. McCormack’s nimble timing, Baird’s sweet sincerity and the innocence of its message about intergalactic understanding make this one a worthy addition.

Race to Witch Mountain

Posted on August 4, 2009 at 8:00 am

After an enormous train crash/explosion, a line of dialog reassures us that the engineer (played in a quick cameo by Disney Studios chairman Dick Cook) was not hurt. This is, reassuringly, a Disney movie. The entire planet may be at risk in the storyline but the latest in the Witch Mountain saga is more exciting than scary. The 1968 novel by Alexander Key about two kids with paranormal powers became the the cheesy-but beloved Disney 1970’s “Escape from Witch Mountain” and its sequel, “Return to Witch Mountain” and made-for TV follow-up “Beyond Witch Mountain.” The story has now been “re-imagined” for the 21st century with Duane “The Rock” Johnson as a Las Vegas cab driver whose mysterious teenage passengers have special powers. It may be high tech and big budget this time around, but it unabashedly retains its essential cheesiness.

Johnson plays Jack Bruno, a guy who is trying to stay out of trouble, which means keeping out of the way of some thugs who want him to work for them as he delivers costumed fanboys and an expert in extraterrestrials to a UFO convention. At first he thinks the blonde teenagers with the stiff demeanor and robotic speech patterns are just another pair of nutty nerds. And at first when he is chased by ominous black vehicles he thinks it is just the same thugs he keeps turning down. But he discovers that these are a different kind of thug — they are from one of those mysterious government agencies that act like big bullies all the time. There is also a Terminator-like armored stalker-sort of guy who is after the kids, too. And when you are being chased by bad guys from two different planets, it helps to have a former WWF champion around to open up a can of whup-, um, butt (I said it was a Disney movie).

Johnson is the always-appealing heart of the movie, whether he is making a self-deprecatory or skeptical wisecrack or throwing a punch. The kids’ roles are unfortunately all robotic delivery and special effects wizardry, which doesn’t give them much of a personality. I don’t know why it is that movie aliens, whether they look like humans or giant insects, whether they are super-smart or super-scary, never seem to have emotions or senses of humor. It would make them much more interesting and involving as characters. The very talented Carla Gugino does her best with the under-written role of the scientist who researches extra-terrestrial life and Garry Marshall has fun as her nemesis, who never met a conspiracy theory he didn’t adopt, expand, and write a book about and who lines the windows of his RV with aluminum foil. Fans of the original films will enjoy seeing its child actors, Ike Eisenmann and Kim Richards, appearing as a sympathetic sheriff and a waitress. Johnson’s warmth and star power and some cool effects are fun even when the storyline drags a bit, if not enough to make the suggestion for a sequel at the end especially welcome.

Star Trek Quiz (Old School)

Posted on May 5, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Get ready for this week’s rebooting of the “Stark Trek” saga by revisiting the original television series. How much do you remember about Captain Kirk and his crew, whose origins we will see in the new J.J. Abrams film?
1. What is Captain Kirk’s middle name?
2. Where is he from?
3. What is the name of the adorable creatures who came on board the Enterprise as pets but later came close to causing disaster and ultimately saved the day?
4. Creator Gene Roddenberry described the show by saying it would be like what successful series but “set in space?”
5. How long is its mission supposed to last?
6. What kind of crystals are necessary for fuel?
7. What is the name of the ring that was a doorway to any time and place and where (and when) does the crew go when they materialize on Earth?
8. Why did Spock’s father marry a human?
9. What was striking about the warring factions in “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield?”
10. In “Plato’s Stepchildren,” which cast characters shared a memorable kiss?

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Quiz Science-Fiction Television

Star Trek: The Enterprise Captains Interview

Posted on April 28, 2009 at 8:54 am

In an exclusive interview for the new Star Trek 1-6 movie box set, Whoopi Goldberg interviews the captains of the USS Enterprise, to boldly go where no interview has gone before.