Fast X

Posted on May 18, 2023 at 5:10 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, action, language, and some suggestive material
Profanity:	Strong language, including a child using the s-word
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Alcohol and brief humorous drug use
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended action, peril, and violence, some disturbing and grisly images, very sad death of a major character
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	May 19, 2023
Date Released to DVD:	August 7, 2023

I’d love to talk to the person whose job is Googling or visiting some of the world’s iconic locations and then imagining how they can be trashed with car chases and explosions. Ten movies in (with apparently at least two more to go), the “Fast and Furious” series that began with a comparatively modest story about street racing has morphed into one of the most successful film franchises of all time, with a complicated trajectory and a lot of characters going undercover to chase Mcguffins for the CIA, but never wasting much time on whether the plot or the physics make sense. As a character says, “If it violates the laws of God and gravity, they did it twice.”

Next to the chases and explosions, the most creative part of the series was stripping down the original title, “The Fast and the Furious,” so that now part one of what is supposed to be the final saga is simply “Fast X.” They have to stop now, or the only title they will be able to use is just “FF.”

In order of importance to the filmmakers and the audience:

1. Let’s literally cut to the chase, or chases. Many, many chases and races. Many fabulous locations including Rome and Portugal. Bridges, helicopters, Much hitting and smashing through various barriers, some amphibious many ticking remote controlled bombs, one gigantic bomb sphere that looks like the rock that chased Indiana Jones in the first film crossed with the Death Star. Lots of fight scenes including two of the toughest women in film: Michelle Rodriguez as Letty and Charlize Theron as former and perhaps future supervillain Cipher, who shows up on Dom’s doorstep because “the enemy of my enemy….”

2. With so much star power on the side of Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel, occasionally adding slight movement to the one basic facial expression that signifies approval and determination), the villain in these movies has to be not just over the top but over the top of the top, doing a triple gainer, and then coming down to the top of the top again. Jason Momoa does all of this and more as the most completely bats times coo coo-bananas bad guy since Jack Nicholson as the Joker in “Batman,” with a touch of Jim Carrey as the Riddler and Heath Ledger as the Joker added for spice. Anyone remember the villain from #5? Anyone? It was Brazilian drug dealer Herman Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida), who was killed at the end of that film. We get a retcon flashback here to learn that Reyes had a son named Dante, and that he importantly told Dante that killing opponents was not as important as torturing them by hurting those they love. Dom loves a lot of people. More than racing cars, his sense of himself is entirely based on his ability to keep them safe. As they say, this time it’s personal. Dante is the most dangerous of all because he has no normal bad guy goal like making money or amassing power. He just wants to destroy people and for that he cannot be intimidated, redirected, or persuaded.

3. The fans will enjoy many, many references and callbacks to the earlier films including everyone making fun of Roman (Tyrese Gibson) for not being very smart or super-good at anything There are also knowing winks at some of the film’s conventions, like those in law enforcement who initially come after Dom’s found family for breaking the law ending up on his side (Brian, Elena, Jacob), and many nods to the past nine films like nitrous oxide push, the return of various characters (Han/Deckard remix), the re-appearance of the “God’s Eye” (the ultimate McGuffin) and, a deeper cut, computer whiz Ramsey suddenly knowing about cars. There’s also something that almost rises to the level of a theme of children, including adult children, trying to please or carry on the work of their fathers, including Dante, Dom’s son “Little B” (for Brian, played in the earlier films by the late Paul Walker), and Brie Larson as the daughter of the mysterious spy Mr. Nobody, played in the earlier films by Kurt Russell but not in this one — I predict that he will be back in part 2.

4. Stakes: The very qualities that make Momoa’s Dante a great movie villain ramps up the stakes in a way that some viewers may find uncomfortably, even distractingly, transcends the genre. Usually, in these films, the McGuffin concept is quickly explained as something critical our team needs to get away from the bad guys and then we’re on to the chase and explosions and jokes about Roman. And the bad guy usually wants something evil but rational, like money or world domination or revenge. But, as they say, “this time it’s personal.” When the villain is just in it to mess with everyone, to make things as emotionally devastating as possible, even the paper-thin characters, only slightly more fleshed out than the thingamabob everyone’s chasing after, we can’t help making an emotional connection that may interfere with the fun of the race and chase scenes.

5. There’s a surprise cameo I won’t spoil. And I don’t think anyone anticipated this one: “Fast X” features four Oscar winners, Brie Larson, Dame Helen Mirren, Rita Moreno, and Charlize Theron, bringing their A game as always. I could happily see a whole movie about any of their characters and the way things are going, that just might happen.

Parents should know that this film includes non-stop peril, action, and violence with many (mostly faceless) unnamed characters injured and killed and large-scale mayhem with crashed cars, bombs, fire, and explosions. Characters use strong language (including a child), drink alcohol, and briefly use drugs.

Family discussion: How do Dom’s, Little B’s, Tess’s, and Dante’s relationships with their fathers affect their life choices? Should Dom have let Roman lead the group? Who would you pick for your found family?

If you like this, try: the entire “Fast and Furious” series

F9

Posted on June 22, 2021 at 8:47 pm

B +

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for language, action, sequences of violence
Profanity:	Some strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Beer
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended peril ad violence, shooting, explosions, martial arts, many people killed or injured
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	June 25, 2021
Date Released to DVD:	September 21, 2021

Let’s be real about F9. If we can use a word like “real” to describe a series of films that parted ways with reality at least six or seven movies ago. But, knowing that, if you’re still here and I’m still here, we’ve pretty much agreed that’s okay and so the usual information potential ticket-buyers look for in a movie review is not really relevant. So, we can do what this movie does, and cut to the chase.

Here’s what you need to know. Director Justin Lin and his co-producer/star Vin Diesel know why we’re here; we want to see some crazy action scenes with characters we know so well that when Dom says once again that he doesn’t have friends; he has family, we almost feel that we’re part of the family now, too. So, “F9” delivers what the fans want, which is more and wilder action, and a bit more family, too. In fact, this time we get some backstory, with teenage brother and sister Dom (Diesel) and Mia (Jordana Brewster) and their dad, race car driver Jack Toretto (JD Pardo). It turns out there’s another brother, too, Jakob (Finn Cole). And we get to see how a tragedy on the racecourse leads to the brothers going in different directions. Jakob comes back into the story as John Cena.

If you’re a casual fan, all you need to know is that this movie has a lot of fun, if highly improbable, action scenes, including Vin Diesel as a passenger in a crazy car chase through London with none other than Dame Helen Mirren at the wheel. If you’re really into the series, you’ll want to know that many other favorite characters return, some more surprisingly than others. Also, if you’re really into the series you already know that the third movie in the series is the eighth in the chronology (also the first directed by Lin). That movie ended with another tragic exploding car death, of a mentor named Han (Sung Kang). But if we’ve learned one thing from this series, it is that sometimes people you think were either dead or bad turn out to be neither.

Two scenes I particularly loved will be the best litmus test for your decision on whether to buy a ticket (and if you do, please make it the Dolby experience). We’ve all seen fights before. We’ve seen fights where our two guys take on six bad guys. We’ve probably seen fights in the back of a big moving van, but here’s where the “Fast and Furious” franchise says to themselves, “How can we make things even more interesting?” And at some point someone says, “Let’s have the fight take place when the van is being (a) being chased by more bad guys, (b) being driven by someone who has never driven before, and (c) carrying the world’s most powerful electro-magnet, which is being turned on and off, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. Wow.

The other scene has Roman, the comic relief character played by the almost-impossibly handsome Tyrese, says something that does not quite break the fourth wall between the characters and the audience but bends it a little. He mentions the un-mentionable — somehow no matter how many of the most lethal weapons ever conceived are shooting and exploding all around them, no matter how outnumbered they are, no matter how many impossible jumps they attempt to make in vehicles, somehow they all walk away without a scratch. Could it be, he wonders, that they’re not human? The real-life answer is that they’re not; they’re fictional characters. His conjecture is, maybe, that they could be un-killable? The real-life answer to that one is yes, as long as people keep buying tickets to the sequels.

In another scene, a character says, “If this was a movie, this would be when….” just to remind us that they know we know.

They can’t make the title any shorter. What’s the next one going to be called, just F? Will there be another “Hobbs & Shaw?” A spin-off about Dom’s early days? If they feature Helen Mirren and a Pontiac Fiero shot into space or whatever even crazier stuff they can dream up, I’m in.

NOTE: Stay for the mid-credits sequence for another familiar face.

Parents should know that this film includes constant action and peril including teenagers witnessing the death of a parent in a fiery crash and endless shoot-outs and chases, one through a minefield. Characters use strong language and drink beer. Bad guys plot world domination.

Family discussion: When does someone deserve a second chance? Should Letty have called Mia?

If you like this, try: the other films in the series, especially “Tokyo Drift” and “Hobbs & Shaw.”

The Fate of the Furious

Posted on April 14, 2017 at 11:52 pm

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for prolonged sequences of violence and destruction, suggestive content, and language
Profanity:	Some strong language
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended action-style violence, guns, explosions, chases, crashes, characters injured and killed
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	April 14, 2017
Date Released to DVD:	July 10, 2017

Before we get into it, let’s take a moment to remember how we got here. The first “Fast and Furious” movie was comparatively modest in scope, the story of a cop (Paul Walker as Brian) going undercover to investigate illegal street racers, led by Dom (Vin Diesel). The cop falls for the sister of the racer and for the living-life-a-quarter-mile-at-a-time existential rush. Think “Point Break” with cars instead of surfboards. Somehow, now on the eighth movie since the 2001 original with two more in the planning stages, it has turned into an X-Games version of “Mission Impossible.” It’s 3/4 chases, crashes, shoot-outs and explosions, 1/8 bro-mance (“I don’t have friends; I have family”), and 1/8 quippy humor with a dash of fan service for anyone who has been paying enough attention to remember who all of the characters are. That leaves no room for plot or logic, but you can’t have everything, and this one goes with star power instead.

So over the course of eight films we’ve gone from living life a quarter mile at a time racing souped-up home brew stock cars to globe hopping save-the-planet adventures with the help of grateful no-name international law enforcement (literally, Kurt Russell as Mr. Nobody, now with an intern played by Scott Eastwood, known as Little Nobody), increasingly improbable settings and vehicles (a nuclear sub in this one, pretty much all that’s left for Chapter 9 is a “Moonraker”-style spaceship), and increasingly improbable co-stars. Helen Mirren is in this movie. Let me say this again. Helen Mirren is in this movie. And she’s not the only Oscar-winning actress in the eighth “Fast and Furious” film. It also stars Charlize Theron as the ice queen villain.

Our merry little gang of rascals has gotten so cozy that in order to have any dramatic tension at all we have to unscramble that egg a little, and what better way to do that than to have Dom go to work for the bad guy?

We begin with an opening scene in which we are reminded that Dom (a) adores his wife, Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), now recovered from her amnesia and honeymooning with Dom in Havana, and (b) is a man who exemplifies integrity, grace, courage, and determination, and who could probably win the Indy 500 in a golf cart. And so, perhaps we are expected to be surprised when shortly after that, when the team, with regulars Hobbs the cop (Dwayne Johnson), Roman the comic relief (Tyrese Gibson), and Tej the computer guy (Chris “”Ludacris” Bridges), is called in by Mr. Nobody to rescue some big scary bomb, Dom and Letty are on board and then all of a sudden Dom makes off with the big bad bomb and apparently is in cahoots with Ms. Big, Theron as uber-hacker Cipher.

There’s nothing quite as crazy as the car leaping between buildings in the last film, and nothing near as touching as the finale, with its tender tribute to the late Paul Walker (his character is lovingly addressed). There’s a wild bumper-cars-on-crack scene as Cipher takes control of all the automobiles, even the ones that are parked, in the middle of New York City. And some very fancy vehicles get trashed. And then there’s the sub. And a lot of thousand-yard stares and macho wisecracks and people who have a history as enemies having to work together and grudgingly develop some respect. In other words, it’s just what you expect from the eighth “Fast and Furious” movie.

Parents should know that this film has constant action-style violence, crashes, explosions, guns, fights, extended mayhem of all kinds, some sexual references and crude humor, and some strong language.

Family discussion: Which was the best stunt? What makes someone who is not related “family?”

If you like this try: the rest of the “Fast and Furious” films and “The Italian Job”

xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

Posted on January 19, 2017 at 5:28 pm

This ridiculous but ridiculously entertaining third chapter in the “XXX” action series is basically script by Mad Libs: Let’s have Vin Diesel in a . Which is how we get a motorcycle race over water and a ski jump into jungle. Plus a shoot-out in zero gravity. And why not. Sick of winter? Tired of the news? Here is a summer movie in January, with chases and explosions for days, badassery of all kinds, and many thousand yard stares, all presented for your delectation in gorgeous IMAX 3D.

So, to recap. In the first XXX movie, released in 2002, extreme sports and extreme tattoo anti-hero and adrenaline junkie Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) was recruited by federal agent Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) to do some tasks that normal military and government operatives were not cool and crazy enough to do. Chapter 2, “XXX: State of the Union” (2005) had Ice Cube stepping in for the reportedly deceased Cage. Twelve years later, it turns out that Xander Cage was just too cool to kill. He’s been enjoying life with crazy stunts and beautiful ladies. But tracks him down because has to be taken away from , and so once again his special skills are needed.

That special ops boss is Marke, played by Toni Collette as though she is doing a bad drag queen impression of herself, as opposed to the good drag queen impression she did in “Connie and Carla.” She helpfully provides X with a team of military tough guys. He dispatches them quickly by throwing them off a plane and rounds up his own Benneton ad of a team, a motley crew of wisecracking with and no fear: “the bad, the extreme, the completely insane,” we are reminded, as though that isn’t the very reason we are there. The movie helpfully skips over exposition that might get in the way of chases, explosions, shoot-outs, fight scenes, and quippy threats and bragging by providing helpful title cards for each character outlining, like Power Point on crack, their most significant achievements, characteristics, and useful other information like their go-to karaoke song or the fact that one of them, meeting with Samuel L. Jackson, thinks he is being recruited for the Avengers.

Everyone loves to run, jump, shoot, and fight except for Nina Dobrev as the Velma of this Scooby-Doo crowd, with oversize glasses, super-duper tech ability, and an inability to stop talking around X. She babbles anything that comes into her mind, explaining so thoroughly (in the world of this movie, more than six words in a row is a monologue) that she is not a field agent that we know eventually she will have to shoot a gun at someone, and adding, as she swoons over X’s muscles, “It’s not that I have a safe word or anything; it’s kumquat.”

X-Men style, this Island of Lost Toys bunch of misfits keeps shifting loyalties, so, gets to fight and fight alongside , too. It’s all delightfully preposterous but crazy fun and .

Parents should know that this film includes constant action-style peril and violence, chases, explosions, assault weapons, knives, terrorism, sexual innuendo and non-explicit situation, and some strong language.

Family discussion: Do you agree with Xander’s comment about rebels and tyrants? How do the characters decide when to be loyal and who to be loyal to?

If you like this, try: the earlier “xXx” movies and the “Transporter” and “Fast and Furious” series

Happy 2017! Here’s What’s Coming to Theaters This Month

Posted on January 1, 2017 at 7:00 am

Happy new year! Happy January! Here’s what’s coming to theaters this month, with a little bit about what else we’ll be seeing in 2017.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6

Silence

Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver star in Martin Scorsese’s epic about faith and culture in 17th century Japan.

A Monster Calls

Liam Neeson won the DC film critics first-ever award for a voice performance for the title role in this story of a boy coming to terms with his mother’s terminal illness.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 13

Live By Night

Ben Affleck wrote and directed this film about 1930’s gangsters, co-starring Elle Fanning.

Patriots Day

Mark Wahlberg stars in the story of the Boston Marathon terrorist attack and the hunt for the bombers.

20th Century Women

Set in the late 1970’s, this story of women trying to find their place stars Annette Bening, Greta Gerwig, and Elle Fanning and is loosely based on the memories of writer/director Mike Mills (“Beginners”).

Monster Trucks

They are trucks and they are also monsters. What else do you need to know?

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20

The Founder

Ray Kroc was a milkshake machine salesman who wanted to know why the McDonald brothers’ hamburger stand was buying so many of his products. He ended up joining the company and making McDonald’s into the most successful fast food operation in the world. Michael Keaton stars as Kroc, with Laura Dern as his wife.

XXX: The Return of Xander Cage

Well, Vin Diesel has to have something to do between “Fast and Furious” movies, right?

FRIDAY, JANUARY 27

Gold

Matthew McConaughey stars in the story of a literal gold-digger, inspired by the rise and fall of John Felderhof.

A Dog’s Purpose

Just try to watch the trailer without tearing up. Just try.

And coming for the rest of 2017:

Justice League, Power Rangers, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Star Wars VIII, Kong: Skull Island, John Wick 2, Despicable Me 3, Cars 3, The Dark Tower, World War Z 2, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, The Fate of the Furious, Table 19, Coco, and, best of all, the movies that we don’t expect to fall in love with that change our lives.

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Opening This Month