Madame Web

Posted on February 13, 2024 at 7:06 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	High School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for violence/action and language
Profanity:	Some strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Some social drinking
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended comic book/action style peril and violence, crashes, explosions, poison, guns, fire, some disturbing images
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters

When EMT Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson) introduces her colleague as Ben Parker (Adam Scott) as Ben Parker, your spidey sense better be tingling or this movie is going to be a slog. Not that this origin story of Marvel superhero Madame Web is just another Spider-Man variation. It’s way different. Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider, and Madame Web is bitten by a natural but imaginary with magic powers spider. Got it?

Cassie (short for Cassandra, which should tingle your spidey-sense, too) is a loner. Once she delivers a patient to the hospital, She cares very much for Ben Parker and for their boss, O’Neil (the always instantly-appealing Mike Epps) but she does not want to spend much time with anyone outside of work. Cassie’s mother died in Peru, where she was researching a rare species of spider with peptides that could have healing powers for humans, and Cassie, who grew up in foster care, has always felt abandoned, even rejected, by the mother who was so reckless in exploring the wilds of South America when she was eight months pregnant.

We know there is more to the story than that. We saw her mother (Kerry Bishe), betrayed by her assistant, Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), shoot her and steal the spider she has worked so hard to find. As she dies, a member of a spider-enhanced tribe thought by most people to be a legend appears, and he is able to deliver her baby before she dies.

Trailer

Cassie and Ben rescue a man from an overturned car hanging over the side of a bridge, but the car flips into the water with Cassie inside. Ben rescues her, but while under water her heart stopped, and the experience has triggered in her a power it will take a while for her to understand; she can see a few moments into the future, enough for her to make a difference and prevent disaster.

Meanwhile, Sims is having his own visions of the future, where he will be murdered by three young women with spidery superpowers. He is determined to prevent this by killing them, when they are still teenagers. He gets access to government databases and cameras and hires tech whiz and morally bankrupt Amaria (Zosia Mamet in a thankless role that consists of peering intently into screens and saying yes to Sims’ demands) to find the girls. She does get to wear elegant necklaces while she’s doing it, though.

Somehow, Cassie and the three girls, who do not know each other, end up on the same train and when Cassie sees visions of Sims killing them she gets them off the train and away from him. Keeping them away from him takes up most of the rest of the movie and unsurprisingly that means chases and explosions and at least two vehicles crashing through buildings. The girls are played by the exceptionally talented and sadly underused Isabela Merced, Sydney Sweeny, and Celeste O’Connor.

It’s not an awful movie but it is not very good. The origin story spends too much time on the origin, with Cassie getting used to her powers, which involves a detour to Peru that slows down the pacing. What we really want is more time with Cassie and the girls. If it’s going to be an origin story, let’s get their origins, too. There’s an irresponsibility and lack of even the most limited consequences to the mayhem that goes beyond the usual suspension of disbelief we grant a comic book movie. The dialogue is pedestrian, occasionally laughable, and the references to the Spider-Man universe or one of the Spider-Man universes are clumsy. And what should be the strongest part of any superhero movie, the villain, here is the weakest. Sims, who at times sounds like his dialogue has been dubbed by someone else, is just not that interesting. If you could see ahead like Madame Web, you might fix your future by waiting to see this on streaming.

Parents should know that this movie has extended comic book-style peril and violence with guns, poison, chases, crashes, fire, and explosions. Characters use some strong language and there are sexual references and situations as well as two scenes of childbirth or labor.

Family discussion: How did what Cassie learned about her mother change the way she thought about herself? What did Julia, Anya, and Mattie have in common? What superpower would you like to have?

If you like this, try: the “Spider-Man” movies and the Madame Web comics

Lisa Frankenstein

Posted on February 8, 2024 at 12:43 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for violent content, sexual assault\|, language, bloody Images, sexual material, teen drinking, and drug content
Profanity:	Very strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Teen drinking and drug use
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended peril and violence, characters brutally killed, character sees her mother killed by an ax murderer, re-animated corpse, mutilation, murder
Diversity Issues:	None

An uneven mash-up of 80s teen comedy and horror wisely relies on the terrific Kathryn Newton as the title character, a high school girl whose mother was hacked to death by an ax murderer. Her father quickly remarried and they have moved in with her new stepmother, Janet (Carla Gugino), and step-sister, Taffy (Liza Soberano), a sunny-spirited cheerleader.

Screenwriter Diablo Cody famously began her film, “Jennifer’s Body,” with Amanda Seyfried saying, “Hell is a teenage girl.” That is the theme of that film, this film, and even her sweet, beloved screenplay for “Juno.” “Lisa Frankenstein’s” best moments are the ones that play off of the idea that horror and high school are a lot closer than we like to admit. So when Lisa falls for a re-animated corpse of a 19th century musician who died young, she matter-of-factly explains to him that Taffy told her it’s a mistake to try to change a boy, so she is just going to accept him the way he is, rotted, foul-smelling flesh and all.

Well, she does clean him off. When he first staggers into her house, covered with mud from the grave, he looks like a golem. And he does not speak. Cole Sprouse plays a character who is just identified in the credits as “the Creature” (an allusion, like the title, to the original Frankenstein story — remember, Frankenstein is the doctor, not the monster). He worked with a mime to make his non-verbal character as expressive as possible. Once the mud is washed off, as he becomes physically and emotionally re-connected to the world of the living, he gives us a sense of who he was and what he is feeling.

Newton, who memorably starred in the body-switching horror comedy “Freaky,” playing a high school girl whose body is occupied by the 6’5″ deranged serial killed played by Vince Vaughn, brings just the right tone to Lisa, who begins the story still shell-shocked from the loss of her mother and her new home with the superficially welcoming Janet and the just plain superficial Taffy. She finds it comforting to visit the abandoned cemetery in the woods, and that is where she see the grave of the Creature, with the handsome bust on the headstone. She whispers that she wishes she was with him, and somehow that calls him to her. Luckily, her after-school job doing repairs in a dry cleaning ship has given her sewing skills that will come in handy when it turns out the Creature needs some replacement body parts.

Williams relies too heavily on 80s references to make her points. Those who did not come of age in that era will not have the instant emotional connection (or laugh) she is hoping for. The opening credits are a witty mash-up of 80s-era Lisa Frank designs and Victorian silhouette animation. It is a lot of fun to see Newton as Lisa become confident and brave, rocking those 80s, Madonna-influenced outfits, the 80s songs still hold up, and it is entertaining to see some switch-ups on the usual rom-com tropes. It’s the Creature who gets the trying-on-clothes sequence, for example. First-time feature director Zelda Williams (the daughter of Robin Williams) has some strong ideas but the tone wobbles when it tries to straddle.

Parents should know that this is a horror movie and many characters are murdered in a gory manner. It includes sexual references and teen partying.

Family discussion: What 80s touches are most important in this movie? Why was Lisa so drawn to the abandoned cemetery? What do you like best about horror movies?

If you like this, try: “Freaky” and “Young Frankenstein”

The Underdoggs

Posted on January 25, 2024 at 8:50 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Mature High Schooler
MPAA Rating:	Rated R for pervasive language, sexual references, drug use, and some underage drinking
Profanity:	Constant very strong and vulgar language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Marijuana and alcohol, including children getting drunk
Violence/ Scariness:	Some peril
Diversity Issues:	A theme of the movie

Normally, seeing kids use bad language does not make me laugh, not because I am offended but because it is just lazy. So I’m not proud of it, but I admit that “The Underdogs” made me laugh, not because kids use four-letter words or because star and producer Snoop Dogg does, but because it was about more than the shock value. No one will ever call Snoop an actor –he can barely focus on playing a character designed to be as much like his off-camera persona as possible — but he is an able performer and this basic underdog story benefits from being so evidently dear to his heart. We learn from end credits sequence that Snoop created a real-life football program for kids. And we learn from the pre-movie warning that the movie has strong language “that may not be suitable for children” and then goes on to say, in very colorful terms, to disregard that because kids who are not supposed to be watching this….stuff… curse more than the rest of us…..explitives. Those two bookends set the scene.

Snoop plays Jaycen, known as Two Js, a selfish and arrogant former star football player who now spends his days rattling around his gigantic mansion, smoking weed, and getting into trouble. A judge (Kandi Burruss) offers him community service coaching a kids’ football team and he refuses. He does not want anything to do with kid or, really anyone else. So he is given clean-up duty instead, with an orange vest and a pole for picking up dog poop.

And who should be at that location but a scrappy little team of, say it with me, underdogs. And, what a coincidence, who should be the mother of one of those kids but Jaycen’s high school girlfriend, Cherise (the always-appealing Tika Sumpter). She gives Jaycen something the judge did not, a reason to at least pretend to be someone who cares about something other than himself. It is still pretending, of course, but we all know where this is going, as do the characters, who have all seen “The Mighty Ducks” and probably countless other movies about scrappy underdog sports teams with reluctant coaches who grudgingly realize they want to to be the person the team needs them to be.

Trailer for The UnderDoggs

It’s no one’s idea of a classic, or even of being what you might call “good,” but it is an easy watch that stays out of its own way. Mike Epps shows up as Jaycen’s old friend, Kareem, a hustler and sometime carjacker, who moves in and talks his way into a spot as assistant coach. The kids on the team are the basic Smurf-types, each one getting one attribute — quiet, mouthy, butterfingers, etc. Snoop has good chemistry with the kids, though, and they are tougher than he is, which helps keep things moving. George Lopez shows up as Jaycen’s high school coach, reminding us of the difference it can make in a child’s life to have an adult who cares.

The film meanders back and forth between the kids’ underdog team formula and occasional meta-commentary on the classic tropes of the genre, but either way it is enjoying itself so much it is impossible not to go with it.

Parents should know that this movie is raunchy and vulgar. Characters, including children, use constant strong and graphic language with many insults. A child character’s nickname is a coarse word for a female body part. Characters smoke weed and drink and children get drunk and throw up. There is some potty humor. A character is careless with a gun but no one gets hurt.

Family discussion: What made Double J decide to take coaching seriously? What makes a good coach? Is it true that we want to see successful people fail?

If you like this, try: “The Mighty Ducks” and “The Bad News Bears”

The Color Purple

Posted on December 24, 2023 at 5:04 pm

A-

Lowest Recommended Age:	High School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content, sexual content, violence and language
Profanity:	Strong and racist language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Drinking and drunkenness
Violence/ Scariness:	Domestic violence, attack, character beaten by police
Diversity Issues:	A theme of the movie
Date Released to Theaters:	December 25, 2023

Alice Walker’s novel, The Color Purple is the acclaimed, Pulitzer Prize-winning story of Celie, a young Black woman in the rural Georgia of the early 1900s. Through her letters, written to her sister Nettie, we learned the story of her horrific abuse, told in the simple language of someone who had no education and little sense that she deserved better.

The book was made into a dramatic film directed by Stephen Spielberg, with Whoopi Goldberg as Celie and Oprah Winfrey as Sofia, who becomes Celie’s step-daughter-in-law. It then became a successful Broadway musical with music and lyrics by Brenda Russell, Allee Willis, and Stephen Bray, and a book by Marsha Norman. “American Idol” favorite Fantasia Barrino was a replacement Celie and Danielle Brooks played Sofia.

And now it is a movie again, with Barrino and Books repeating their Broadway roles. This version is unexpectedly joyous and heartwarming. That is in large part thanks to director Blitz Bazawule, who shows us the characters’ strengths with the musical numbers before the storyline does. It is also thanks to the raise-the-roof, powerhouse performances from Barrino, Brooks, and Henspn, any one of which would blow the doors of of a theater, and all three together lift our spirits like a gospel choir. Every note is pure and thrilling. Every one is a revelation. Henson has the showiest part and she brings her endless movie star charisma to Shug the performer. But she also brings infinite compassion and gentleness to the intimate moments. Any lesser performer might make us question why someone as flamboyant and apparently hedonistic as Shug would find what no one else in Georgia seems to see in Celie. But Henson makes us understand why she gives Celie two things she has never had before, respect and a sense that she is worthy of love. She makes Shug another character who has made choices for her own survival but maintains a core of warmth.

Brooks is bursting with life force as Sofia, until her insistence on respect from others brings her devastating repercussions from the only white characters we see in the film. We learn from her story about abuse from outside that creates ripple effects in their community. We also see with Mister’s relationship with his father, how abuse is passed on through generations. And, with his son (Corey Hawkins), how healing through generations is also possible.

Phylicia Pearl Mpasi as young Celie and Halle Bailey (“The Little Mermaid”) as the her sister Nettie show us that having one person care is enough to make a difference. Mister throws Nettie out and she leaves with a missionary family for Africa and their separation is more devastating to Celie than her abuse by Mister, again underscoring the critical importance of a sustaining relationship.

The movie is frank about Celie’s abuse, including repeated rape by the man she believes is her father and then by the man her father sells her to, known to her only as Mister. But this version is more about Celie’s growing understanding of her own power, including the power of forgiveness. We also see other characters show resilience, generosity, and remorse. If the conclusion, as in the book and the previous movie, seems to tie things up a little too quickly, by that time we are so happy for Celie and so moved by the music we are fine with it.

Parents should know that this movie includes extreme abuse of a very young woman including rape and battery and having her children taken away. The film also includes misogynistic and racist attacks, a character beat up by police, betrayal, drinking and drunkenness, and strong language.

Family discussion: What are the events that make Celie understand that she could say no and that she deserved better? Why did Shug see more in Celie than anyone else? What made Mister change his mind?

If you like this, try: the book and the Spielberg movie

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

Posted on December 21, 2023 at 2:12 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for language and sci-fi violence
Profanity:	Some strong language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Beer
Violence/ Scariness:	Extended comic-book style fantasy action, some disturbing images of characters getting burned and stabbed, zombie-like characters, monsters
Diversity Issues:	Diverse characters
Date Released to Theaters:	December 22, 2023

I get the feeling everyone was just calling it in on this one. The DCCU is getting a makeover under James Gunn and Peter Safran and who knows what will happen given the prospect of the catastrophic leadership of David Zaslav burying his bad decisions and collecting a huge paycheck with a possible sale of Warner-Discovery to Paramount. And Jason Mamoa already made it clear this was his last Aquaman movie. Whether the behind-the-scenes is the reason for this lackluster, derivative entry in the DC Cinematic Universe or not, the movie is a wait-for-streaming for all but the most devoted fans.

In our last episode, Aquaman (Momoa) killed a pirate named Jesse Kane, and his son, David (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) vows to kill Aquaman in revenge. And Aquaman seizes control of the underwater kingdom from his half-brother Orm (Patrick Wilson). An extra scene in the credits has David Kane joining forces with marine scientist Stephen Shin (Randall Park), who promises to help David get his revenge if David will help him find the lost kingdom under the sea.

We pick up a few years later, where, in the first of a series of clangingly obvious foreshadowing signals, Arthur/Aquaman is now married to Mera (Amber Heard) and he tells us the most important thing in the world to him is their baby son, Junior. Aquaman divides his time between his home at the shore, with his human father, Tom (Temuera Morrison) helping to care for Junior, and his undersea kingdom. He is often frustrated with the bureaucracy of the kingdom’s council. And he is very concerned about the land countries destroying the environment, but, with his kingdom’s long history of secrecy, he cannot reach out to the upper world.

David has found the lost kingdom and the source of immense evil power in the black trident. A frozen spirit who looks like a cross between Groot and the Green Goblin says he will give that power to David if he will bring him the descendent of his enemy, which turns out to be guess who.

Actually, it’s guess whos, but that comes later. In order to fight David, Aquaman will have to team up with Orm, the half-brother who tried to kill him, and who is now in prison. The council will never approve, knowing that breaking Orm out of prison will start a war with his captors, but no matter, Aquaman does it anyway.

Much of the storyline is similar to “The Black Panther,” a kingdom with superior technology trying to decide whether to let the rest of the world know who they are and a villain seeking revenge with a conclusion for one character very reminiscent of Killmonger. And the mechanical octopus-like machine seems an awful lot like the one from “The Incredibles.” Topo, the real (CGI) octopus, is, fun, though, and I wish we’d seen more of him. The special effects range from okay to pretty good. Martin Short makes the best of a character who seems like a cross between Jabba the Hutt and a champion from RuPaul’s drag race.

It swings back and forth between meaningless nods to the issue of climate change (the most damaging technology is imaginary), action scenes with lots of monsters and machines, cliche dialog (“It’s time for me to reclaim my destiny!”), and corny winks at the audience. Here’s hoping the Gunn/Safran regime can do better.

NOTE: Stay for one mid-credits scene

Parents should know that this film has some strong language and constant comic book-style action with some grisly images of monsters. Characters are in peril and there are graphic wounds.

Family discussion: What influenced the relationship between Arthur and Orm? How would we think of environmental threats differently if we thought humanoid creatures lived there? Why did Aquaman try to save David?

If you like this, try: the other DC comics films and the comic books, especially the Neal Adams versions