The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Posted on February 5, 2015 at 5:55 pm

Our friends from Bikini Bottom are back in another deliriously silly story, so tender-hearted and cheery that there is no way to resist it. Plus, it has superheroes, a pirate played by Antonio Banderas, existential metaphysics, the guitarist from Guns ‘n’ Roses, and a time-traveling space dolphin with the stentorian tones of a classically trained Shakespearean actor. It will amuse newcomers and delight fans.

Banderas plays Burger-Beard, first seen on a desert island in search of hidden treasure. An Indiana Jones-style booby-trap is no match for his wiliness, and soon he is back on his one-man pirate ship (it operates on “automatic pirate”) with his precious booty: an old storybook. It was a popular book. The library check-out card in the pocket on the inside back cover shows that it has been checked out by piratical luminaries like Captain Kidd and Jolly Roger. The book has a story about SpongeBob and his friends as well as some surprising powers which we will find out about later.

The pirate’s book takes us to familiar territory. SpongeBob Squarepants (Tom Kenny) loves his job as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab, making wildly popular Krabby patties. His boss is the money-mad Mr. Krabs, who keeps the secret recipe in his safe. Bikini Bottom’s other eatery is the struggling Chum Bucket, owned by the envious, one-eyed Plankton (Mr. Lawrence), who is far more inventive in coming up with ways to steal the recipe than he is in cooking. Burger-Beard wants the recipe, too, so he can achieve his dream of opening up a food truck made from his pirate boat. When the recipe is stolen, the whole gang, including SpongeBob’s best friend Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke), a dim-witted starfish, and Sandy (Carolyn Lawrence) a scuba-suit-wearing squirrel, have to go on land to get it back.

There are some sweet lessons about teamwork (Plankton literally does not know the meaning of the term) and loyalty, but the best lesson of all is the good cheer and gentle laughter that has made SpongeBob the best-loved animated series on television.

Parents should know that this film has some potty humor, schoolyard language, and mild cartoon-style peril and violence, including a cannon.

Family discussion: Which characters are loyal and why? Why is money so important to Mr. Krabs? If you could write your own story, what would it say?

If you like this, try: the SpongeBob television series and Penguins of Madagascar

Seventh Son

Posted on February 5, 2015 at 5:41 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	Middle School
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG-13 for intense fantasy violence and action throughout, frightening images and brief strong language
Profanity:	One strong word
Alcohol/ Drugs:	Drinking
Violence/ Scariness:	Constant fantasy-style violence and peril with dragons, knights, swords, fire, falls, punches, and sorcery, characters injured and killed, some grisly images
Diversity Issues:	Most of the good guys are white and many of the bad guys are non-white
Date Released to Theaters:	February 6, 2015

If “The Big Lebowski” fans ever imagined a re-teaming of Jeff “The Dude” Bridges and Julianne “Maude” Moore, it is unlikely that they would have come up with the idea of this sword-and-sorcery epic based on the first of the the 16-volume Last Apprentice series by Joseph Delaney. They’re a long way from Lebowski-land in this epic saga of the last of the knights sworn to fight witches and the powerful witch he once loved and must now defeat. The fight scenes are exciting, the visuals and special effects are impressive, and it is fun to see two big actors take on these scenery-chomping roles.

It takes place in olden times, “when legend and nightmare are real.” Bridges, in full sensei whose bark is worse than his bite but his bite is pretty rough mode, plays Gregory, the last of “a order of noble knights, combatting the darker forces.” He has had a series of apprentices, but it is a high risk job, and they keep getting killed. Most recently, following a rollicking bar fight involving a full goblet (“The trick is not defeating them with a cup. The trick is not to spill.”), Master Gregory loses his best apprentice (Kit Harington) and has to find a new one. They are not easy to find. Only a seventh son of a seventh son has the ability to combat magic. Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) has that credential, but does he have what it takes? He cannot seem to hit the target with his knife. Master Gregory usually has years to teach his apprentices what they need to know but this time there is just a week until the blood moon, which will unleash the powers of the most dangerous witch of all, Mother Malkin (Moore, decked out with fancy eyelashes and creepy long fingernails). Years before, Master Gregory had captured Malkin, locking her in a cage and sprinkling the perimeter with salt. But she has escaped, stronger than ever, and this time he cannot risk showing her mercy and allowing her to live.

It is possible that Tom has already made the same mistake. If she was not so young and pretty, would he have rescued the girl accused of being a witch and set her free? Her name is Alice (Alicia Vikander). Does she like him or is she a spy? Meanwhile, Mother Malkin is putting the band back together, bringing in a Benetton ad array of multi-ethnic bad guys. There are also some other fantasy characters who show up to the party, including Master Gregory’s loyal sidekick Tusk, with a jaw like a wild boar, and a gigantic CGI Boggart, who chases our heroes into the steepest jump off a cliff into the rapids since “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.” And this one’s in 3D.

Parents should know that this film includes constant fantasy-style peril and violence with monsters, fire, swords and other weapons, sorcery, and fighting, characters injured and killed, some disturbing and grisly images, brief strong language, drinking and jokes about alcohol, and kissing and an implied sexual situation.

Family discussion: What did it mean to call Mother Malkin “a slave to darkness, not its queen?” Was Master Gregory too tough on Tom?

If you like this, try: “Dragonslayer,” “Hansel and Gretel,” and “Stardust”

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Strange Magic

Posted on January 24, 2015 at 5:25 pm

Despite the big names behind it, including George Lucas, who came up with the story and produced, it feels like a straight-to-DVD, about the level of Disney’s Tinkerbell series. It’s bright, colorful, self-affirming, and bouncy. And, likely to be appreciated more by the adults than the kids in the audience, there is a Glee-style mix, or, perhaps re-mix, of assorted songs from the 60’s through today. But that isn’t enough to make it work on a big screen.

It is supposedly inspired by Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but the only similarities are the forest, the fairies, and the love potion.

It takes place in an enchanted world that is divided in parts, whose generic names are characteristic of the dim pilot light of the creative imagination at work here. The happy, colorful Fairy Kingdom is ruled by a king (Alfred Molina) with two daughters. The Dark Forest is ruled by the gnarled, bitter Bog King (Alan Cumming) who hates the idea of love because it is chaotic. “Love is dangerous. It weakens. It rots. It destroys order. Without order, there is chaos.”

The fairy king’s oldest daughter is the brave and responsible Marianne (Evan Rachel Wood), who, as the movie begins, is thrilled that she is about to marry the handsome Roland (Sam Palladio). She flies through the kingdom singing a sweet, girl pop version of the Elvis classic, “I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You.” Her younger sister is Dawn (Meredith Anne Bull), who has good intentions but is impetuous and a little naive. Her best friend is an elf named Sonny (Elijah Kelley), who patiently listens to Dawn talk about her various crushes and does not let her know that he is in love with her. They have a cute duet to Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds.”

Marianne discovers Roland kissing another girl and breaks their engagement. But Roland wants to be king, and that means he must persuade Marianne to be his wife. He persuades Sonny to cross the border into the Bog King’s domain to get a love potion from the Sugar Plum Fairy (Kristin Chenoweth), who was imprisoned by the Bog King. Sonny agrees so he can get some for Dawn, to make her fall in love with him. Sonny has a lot of adventures on the way to obtaining the potion, and the Sugar Plum Fairy insists on getting out of her cage in return for her services. Sonny gets the glowing green potion, but just as in Shakespeare, it does not work as intended. The Bog King captures Dawn, demanding the potion as ransom. Marianne flies in to the rescue, but so do Sonny and Roland, creating some confusion and misunderstandings. And a lot of singing. The well-chosen tunes include: “What Do You Get When You Fall In Love?,” “Marianne,” “I Want to Dance With Somebody,” “When You’re Strange,” “Love is Strange,” “Sugarpie Honeybunch,” “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” “Tell Him,” and “Wild Thing.”

There is an unexpectedly endearing romance, and the usual kids-film messages about the importance of what’s inside us. But the light-weight storyline is weighed down by sub-standard design and low-level animation that relies too much on algorithms and not enough on imagination.

This is where looks do matter, and this film cannot overcome the clunkiness of its design.

Parents should know that there is some fairytale peril and violence, including some scary creatures, some mild gender humor including an accidental same-sex kiss portrayed as gross (really? In 2015?), and brief potty humor.

Family discussion: Why did Marianne and Bog have trouble trusting others? Why did Bog start to be nice?

If you like this, try: “The Book of Life” and the Tinkerbell series of DVDs.

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Animation Fantasy Musical

Into the Woods

Posted on December 24, 2014 at 5:55 pm

Copyright Disney Studios 2014 — Copyright Walt Disney Pictures 2014

This is not a Disney movie. Oh, well, yes, it is a Disney movie in the sense that it is produced by Disney, which is the only possible explanation for the PG rating (and the slightly sweetened storyline), but this is not the happily ever after fairy tale story time we are used to from Disney. You didn’t remember that in the original version of Cinderella the mean stepsisters sliced off pieces of their feet to try to fit into the slipper the prince was using to find his true love? That’s because it was, well, cut out of the classic Disney animated version as well as most contemporary printed versions. But it’s back here, in a complicated, challenging retelling of classic fairy tales where having your wish granted may leave you worse off than you were before.

Parents looking for a movie for the family for the holidays need to know that this is not this year’s “Frozen.” It is a sung-through (almost no spoken dialogue) and there are characters who are injured and killed, including parents of young children. It is a darker take on fairy tales. The characters struggle with the consequences of their wishes and of the actions they take when they want something desperately. They lie and they steal to get what they want. And they learn that no one is all bad or all good. “Though scary is exciting, nice is different from good.”

Writer James Lapine says the idea came from a conversation with his frequent collaborator, Stephen Sondheim, who wanted his next project to be about a quest. Lapine wanted to write something about fairy tales. And so “Into the Woods” became that project, a mash-up of many different classic fairy tales with a witch, and giants, and a dark place where the paths are not clear, a place for people who are yearning for something and willing to take some risks. “I wish,” they all sing as the movie begins. Cinderella, with her evil stepmother (Christine Baranski) and mean girl stepsisters, wishes to go to the festival held by the royal family. The baker (James Corden) and his wife (Emily Blunt) wish for a child. A boy named Jack (Daniel Huttlestone, who has a voice like a bell), wishes his milky-white cow would give milk and his mother (Tracy Ullman) wishes they had money so they could have enough to eat. And a girl in a red riding hood (the very gifted Lilla Crawford) wants some bread to take to her grandmother (and some pastries for herself).

And there’s a witch (Meryl Streep) who wishes for something, too. She tells the baker and his wife that she will remove the curse that is keeping them from having a child if they will bring her four things: a cow white as milk, hair gold as corn, a cape red as blood, and a slipper pure as gold. The problem is that all of these items are essential props in other stories. If the baker and his wife take them, then Jack will not have a cow to trade for magic beans, Rapunzel will not have hair to let down so her prince can climb the tower, Red Riding Hood will not be able to go to her grandmother’s house, and Cinderella’s prince will not be able to find her. What happens to wishes when they cancel each other out? When one person’s wish is another’s nightmare? And when the handsome prince explains that he was raised to be Charming, but not necessarily Sincere? Is there any good in being good?

The characters explore themes of innocence, and the competing urges to protect children by keeping them from knowing about the dangers of the world and to protect them by making sure they understand those dangers. “How do you say it will all be all right/When you know that it might not be true?”

Even the witch tries to protect her (stolen) daughter from the scary world outside her tower. But children do not listen. They will grow up and want to leave, even if it means learning “secrets I never wanted to know,” as Red Riding Hood sings thoughtfully, after she is rescued from the belly of the wolf. On the other hand “children will listen,” sometimes when we don’t want them to, so we need to be careful in setting a good example and in taking care of them. And somehow, it is in taking care of them we become most fully ourselves. “Fairy tales understood us before we understood them,” we are told. This exploration of fairy tale themes shows us that they still understand us better than we understand ourselves.

Parents should know that this film includes fairy tale/fantasy peril and violence with some characters injured and killed (including two parents of children), some disturbing images and troubling situations, mild sexual references and non-explicit situations with some kissing.

Family Discussion: What is your favorite fairy tale and why? In the song where everyone blames someone else, who is right?

If you like this, try: Revisionist fairy tales “Ella Enchanted,” “Stardust,” and “Ever After” and, for more from Sondheim, Six by Sondheim and Sondheim: The Birthday Concert

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb

Posted on December 18, 2014 at 5:23 pm

B-

Lowest Recommended Age:	4th - 6th Grades
MPAA Rating:	Rated PG for mild action, some rude humor and brief language
Profanity:	Brief schoolyard language
Alcohol/ Drugs:	None
Violence/ Scariness:	Comic peril and violence
Diversity Issues:	None
Date Released to Theaters:	December 19, 2014
Date Released to DVD:	March 9, 2015
Amazon.com ASIN:	B00SSI2PKO

Fans of the first two “Night at the Museum” films will like this one because it is pretty much the same film. They go to another museum, this time the British Museum in London, and the exhibits come to life and create chaos. The good news: it’s a zippy 90 minutes. The bad news: way too many of those minutes involve a peeing monkey.

The most popular characters from the earlier films are back, including the late Robin Williams in an especially poignant role as Teddy Roosevelt and the late Mickey Rooney as a retired museum guard. Dick Van Dyke almost steals the movie in a brief appearance showing that he can still get down and boogie.

But once again the focus of the story is on Larry (Ben Stiller), museum security guard turned wrangler of the exhibit figures when they come to life at night. The museum director, Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais), thinks that Larry has created some sort of special effects, but when a fundraising gala is held at the museum after dark so the guests can marvel at what they think is some kind of animatronic display things go very wrong. The ancient Egyptian tablet that creates the magic is becoming corroded and the result is like a corrupted computer code. The exhibits go wild, and the director is fired.

Young Egyptian King Ahkmenrah (the terrific Rami Malek) says that the only way to figure out what is wrong with the tablet is to take it to his parents, who are exhibits at the British Museum. With Dr. McPhee’s help, Larry brings Ahkmenrah to the British Museum for “conservation.” Once he arrives, he finds that there are some stowaways — Teddy Roosevelt and Sacajawea (the lovely, elegant Mizuo Peck), a prehistoric man who looks very familiar (Stiller again as Laa), Dexter the monkey, and our fierce little toy soldier-sized friends Octavius the Roman centaurian (Steve Coogan) and Jedediah the cowboy (Owen Wilson).

Ahkmenrah is reunited with his parents (Sir Ben Kingsley and Anjali Jay) who explain the problem — like an iPhone, the tablet need to be recharged. All it needs is moonlight, but getting it there in time is a problem, especially when it is stolen by a very confused Sir Lancelot (“Downton Abbey’s” Dan Stevens). Lots of hijinks and slapstick stunts ensue, with a highlight being entry into a vertiginous M.C. Escher drawing.

There are Muppet Movie’s worth of guest appearances, including Rebel Wilson riffing as a security guard. It zips along briskly, not wasting any time in this episode on any kind of love interest for Larry, though there is a dreary detour about Larry’s high school senior son (Skyler Gisondo taking over for Nick Daley) not wanting to go to college. We’re there for the stunts and special effects, and mostly for the dream that maybe some night at some museum, it does all come to life.

Parents should know that this movie includes comic/fantasy peril. Some characters appear to be hurt but are fine. There is also potty humor and brief schoolyard language.

Family discussion: Do you agree with Nick’s decision about the tablet? Which museum would you like to see come to life and why?

If you like this, try: the first two movies — and read about the real legends and histories of Theodore Roosevelt, Camelot, Sacajawea, ancient Egypt, and M.C. Escher. And visit your local museum to imagine your own adventures.