Christmas Specials and Jewish Children

Posted on December 20, 2008 at 4:00 pm

December is a long month for Jewish parents. From the day after Thanksgiving until New Year’s Eve, America is completely saturated with Christmas and it can be very difficult to explain to small children why Santa seems to come to every house but theirs. Slate’s Dahlia Lithwick has a thoughtful essay on the fine distinctions drawn by some Jewish parents when it comes to cultural touchstones like “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” The semiotic lines parents draw between “The Grinch” (universally allowed) and “The Night Before Christmas” (not so much) are as much a reflection of the complex balance between making sure children do not feel like outcasts and preserving their cultural and religious identity as it is a reflection on the differences in the programs. Lithwick finds that the controlling principle seems to come down in favor of the programs watched by the parents when they were children, back when their own parents were faced with the same difficult choices.

Parenting the Facebook Generation

Posted on November 15, 2008 at 9:00 am

Be sure to take a look at the excellent Ten Tips for Parenting the Facebook Generation from Beliefnet’s Hesham Hassaballa. Technology has made the risks and humiliations and cliquishness of the early teen years exponentially more treacherous, and these guidelines will help keep kids safe until they can become wise. The most important rule, as always, is loving involvement in your children’s lives, so they know they can talk with you about all of their concerns.

Q&A With the Movie Mom — a 14-year-old wants to see slasher movies

Posted on November 12, 2008 at 10:58 pm

A reader of this blog wrote to ask about her 14-year-old, who tells her that all of his friends watch R-rated horror films and he wants to see them, too. Here is my response:
I am honored that you would ask for my thoughts on this very difficult decision.
There’s no good answer. At this age, you are going to be walking a tightrope for the next few years trying to keep a balance between protecting your child from social humiliation (very tender at this age of course) and protecting him from media you consider inappropriate. I can recommend lower-intensity horror films, of course, but I fear that your approving of them (or my approving of them) would probably make them unacceptable from his point of view by definition. Some of the scariest movies are not at all graphic. But at this age, I believe that these movies are not watched for enjoyment as much as they are for proof of endurance and the pleasure of crossing a line that parents have drawn.
What I would say is this: “Now is a good time to make it clear to you that ‘everyone else is doing it’ never, ever works in our house. We do what is right for us. I want you to think about why you should see these movies — why they are worthwhile, what they will add to your understanding, why they merit 90 minutes out of your life, what possible adverse effect they might have. Take some time and think about it. Write down a few thoughts if that helps. And then we will reconvene on this subject. But remember that one of the gifts I give you as a parent is ‘plausible deniability.’ If in your heart you do not want to see these films (or do anything else your friends are pressuring you to do), you can always blame me.”
Good luck and keep me posted!

Related Tags:

Q&As Tweens

Boomerang Explains the Financial Crisis for Kids

Posted on November 12, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Do you want to find a way to help children understand and the financial crisis? (Could you use a little help understanding it yourself?) Do terms like “sub-prime” and “bailout” make your eyes glaze over?
Boomerang, the brilliant audio magazine for kids and their families, has regular features that make sense of the headlines for kids and is always thought-provoking and a lot of fun. Their explanation of the current situation is something every family should share and discuss.

Teenagers, Sex, Religion, and Media

Posted on November 8, 2008 at 11:00 am

The Washington Post reports on the first study to link teen pregnancies to sexual content on television. The study is being published today in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. The authors found a “strong association” between teen pregnancy and watching sexual activity in television programs.
Teenagers who watch a lot of television featuring flirting, necking, discussion of sex and sex scenes are much more likely than their peers to get pregnant or get a partner pregnant, according to the first study to directly link steamy programming to teen pregnancy.
The study, which tracked more than 700 12-to-17-year-olds for three years, found that those who viewed the most sexual content on TV were about twice as likely to be involved in a pregnancy as those who saw the least….
Studies have found a link between watching television shows with sexual content and becoming sexually active earlier, and between sexually explicit music videos and an increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases. And many studies have shown that TV violence seems to make children more aggressive. But the new research is the first to show an association between TV watching and pregnancy among teens.
The problem with these studies is always cause and effect. Do teenagers who are already sexually active or considering becoming sexually active tend to watch more of these programs or do these programs promote unprotected sexual activity?
It is stupid to suggest that media does not affect behavior, especially of teenagers who are just beginning to look beyond the home and school for guidance on behavior. There is a billion-dollar industry devoted to the impact of media on behavior — it is called advertising. Television programming may not be selling clothes or toothpaste, but it is always selling a notion of what is — and is not — cool. And that does affect the choices made by viewers.

(more…)